Dear Heart, You Screwed Me

Wearing an oversized tee and fluffy rainbow pyjama trousers, I padded out into the kitchen. My eyes scanned the room, but Killian wasn’t here. I felt the surge of disappointment course through me. But then what did I expect? I have been nothing but a bitch to him, I’m surprised he came back earlier.

My stomach groaned as I smelt the food that was sitting on the counter in front of me. Walking over, I saw the two plates and the two glasses of wine.

“I’m such a brat,” I sighed, leaning over the worktop and opening the cartons.

Noodles, rice, spring rolls and steamed dumplings. Picking the chopsticks up I looked at them strangely, I had never used these before. I thought going for the spring roll would be easiest, but I was fooled. Stabbing my chopstick through the spring roll and dipping it in the sauce they came with before taking a massive bite. My taste buds exploded; I hadn’t realised how hungry I was.

Once I was finished, I boxed the leftovers and put them in the fridge. Pouring Killian’s wine back into the open bottle, I grabbed my own wine and sat on the sofa in the deadly silence again.

Just me.

Sighing, I reached over for my phone, my finger hovering over his name, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I was disgusted with myself and my behaviour tonight. Sure, I don’t like him, but I don’t have to be a nasty bitch to him.

Letting my phone drop down beside me, I finished my glass of wine.

Putting my empty glass in the sink and double locking the door, I took myself to bed.

The morning came too quickly. My sleep was shocking. I had so much going on in my mind that was overwhelmingly consuming that I spent most of the night with my eyes pinned to the ceiling. No amount of concealer was going to cover these puffy eyes of mine today.

Showering quickly, I pulled my blonde hair into a high ponytail and dressed in high waisted grey suit trousers and a fitted shirt.

I walked towards the door before stilling and looking at my hand, I didn’t have my ring on. I contemplated walking out the door without it, but something inside was niggling at me to put it on. So, I did. Slipping the cheap gold ring onto my finger and stepping out the door before I had the chance to take it off again.

I was glad to get into the lobby of the offices, it was so cold outside. The temperature had fallen significantly over the last couple of days and today I was really feeling it. I wasn’t sure if it was the lack of sleep that didn’t help, but it was noticeable. Nodding a curt hello to the security guard, I whizzed through the turnstiles and straight into the lift. I shivered as I felt a chill dance up my spine. I saw the lift doors re-open, and for a moment I wished it was Killian that stepped inside, but it wasn’t. It was an older woman who was dressed impeccably. She made me feel underdressed suddenly. I fidgeted nervously as I watched the lights hop to each floor. I was relieved when we stopped at my floor; strutting out I headed straight to my desk. I had some last bits to sort out before my lunch meeting with Harlen.

The morning slipped by quickly, no one interrupted me, not even Adele which was strange. But it seemed like she had other things on her mind instead of bugging me. My phone alarm rang, it was show time. Locking my computer and pushing away from the desk, I grabbed my bag and ran for the elevator. I didn’t want to be late.

Throwing my dollars at the taxi driver, we pulled up outside Sarabeth’s. I was nervous, my stomach was flipping, my heart was racing. I wanted this deal so bad.

My eyes widened as they took in the beautiful room around me. I didn’t expect this. It was so decadent and had a beautiful rustic feel to it. The server approached me and took my name. He nodded and showed me to a quiet booth by the window. A sea of relief washed over me when I saw that Harlen wasn’t here yet.

Okay cool, I had time to go over my notes.

Sitting down and putting my bag next to me, the server hovered.

“Can I get you anything ma’am?” she asked politely.

“I’ll just have a glass of water while I am waiting, thank you,” I smiled up at her. “Certainly.”

She walked away.

I skimmed through my notes, I knew the questions I wanted to ask him. I just needed to do something that would wow him. Show him that we were the right company to take him and his name forward. That he needed us more than we needed him.

The waitress returned with a cup of water and placed it down on the table.

“Thank you,” I muttered as I reached for the glass and bought it to my lips. I felt parched suddenly.

I drank half the glass before placing it back on the table. Checking my phone I had five minutes until our scheduled meeting. My brows pulled together for a moment, I hadn’t heard from Killian, but then again why would I after the way I treated him last night.

I didn’t have a moment more to think about it when I felt his presence, my eyes lifting I saw Killian strolling towards me. How in the ever-loving fuck did he know I was here?

“Wife,” he greeted me, leaning down and kissing me on the cheek as he lingers for a moment.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper-shouted with a slight hiss in my tone.

“Can’t a husband come to see his wife and wish her good luck?” he stood, hands fisted in his pockets. A pang of guilt shot through me.

“Thank you,” I muttered, turning my attention back to my notes in front of me.

“You’re welcome. Dinner tonight?” He asked as he rocked on the balls of his feet, his gaze burning into mine. I gave into the pull and turned to look up at him. He really was something else. Brown eyes that just invited you in, visible dark stubble coating his chin and strong jaw line. His dark hair tousled and messy, short enough to look smart, just long enough for me to run my fingers through. I wonder if it felt as soft as it looked.

“Reese,” his delicious voice pulled me back round.

“Errr, I can’t. I’m sorry. I have plans already.” I said with a grimace, giving him a small shrug.

“Well, when can I see you? After?”

“Can I let you know?” I asked, my tone rushed. My eyes looking past him to see Harlen Laufer talking to the waitress. She turned and pointed in my direction with a smile on her face.

“What is there to let me know? It’s either yes or no,” his tone was short; I could hear the frustration.

“Yes, fine.” I snapped as my eyes looked back up to him. “My meeting is here, can you go?” I shooed him away like he was an annoyance.

He smirked, his lips twitching.

“Please,” I whispered.

He nodded and stepped back respectfully before turning and walking away.

My heart was drumming in my chest as I watched him look at Harlen before they brushed shoulders. I could see Killian clenching his jaw, his fists balled as he continued walking.

Exhaling deeply, I stood up to greet Harlen.

“Reese?” he questioned as he closed the gap between us.

“Yes,” I smiled, “Hi Harlen, it’s so nice to meet you.” I held my hand out for him to shake.

“Nahhh, I don’t do handshakes. I’m a hugger,” he beamed, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in. His accent surprised me. He wasn’t American. He was Australian.

I felt awkward. I didn’t like over affectionate strangers.

A nervous laugh bubbled out of me, as I stepped back to tuck myself back in the booth.

I took in his appearance, jet black hair, crystal blue eyes. He was clean cut, handsome and casual. He wore a leather jacket that covered a plunge v neck tee, black ripped skinny jeans and leather biker boots.

Not what I had in mind at all. Sitting down opposite me, I heard my phone vibrate. I gave it a glance.

Killian.

“Excuse me one moment,” I muttered, unlocking my phone to see his message.

Killian: Tell your friend to keep his fucking hands off what is mine, wife.

I rolled my eyes, locking my phone and dropping it into my bag where it couldn’t distract me.

“Sorry about that.”

“Ah kiddo, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He held his hand up and gave me a small smile. The waitress re-appeared handing us some menus.

“Thank you,” my eyes scanned the menu.

“Have you eaten here before?” he asked, lifting his eyes from the menu for a moment. I shook my head from side to side.

“Mind if I order for you?” one of his brows lifted as he held my gaze.

“Nope,” my voice was timid.

“We will have two of the lobster rolls and two margaritas.”

I licked my lips. The lobster roll sounded delicious; my stomach groaned in agreement.

“How long have you been over in the US?” he asked as he sipped on his glass of water that the waitress brought him automatically.

“A few months,” I nodded, my fingers slowly running up and down the glass of my own drink.

“How you finding it?”

“I like it,” I smiled at him. “How about you?”

“Couple of years now, I came over when I started the show.” He sat back, crossing his arms across his chest. “I’ll never go back home.”

“No?” I furrowed my brow at his statement. I could never rule out going back home, I would miss it too much, and I would miss my parents so much more. There is only so much video calling you can do. Even if I moved here, I would make a point of going back home. I would have too.

“I have nothing at home for me,” his bright and wide small faltered for a moment as if he was remembering something, but he didn’t let the façade slip for long before he was all toothy grin again.

“I see.” I nodded; my head turned as I saw the waitress walk over to us with food. It smelt divine and looked like heaven.

“Can I get you kids anything else?” the older waitress asked, she was different to the one that seated us.

“Our drinks?” Harlen asked her, his tone was playful and not rude in the slightest.

“Oh shoot, I am sorry. Let me go and sort that out for you right now,” she tsked, rolling her eyes before walking away and muttering to herself, her hands waving around on the air.

I stifled a laugh.

I reached for a chip and popped it into my mouth. “So Harlen, what is this proposition you have?”

“Wow, straight into the business talk,” he laughed, “I like it, eager and ready for blood.” He clenched his hand and banged it on the table making me jump. He was excitable. Like a big ball of energy.

“Well, I have this really boring event to go to on Saturday and I would love for you to be my date,” he said while grabbing a handful of chips and shoving them into his mouth.

“Saturday is going to be a little too late,” I admitted, the blush pinching my cheeks.

We were interrupted when the waitress came with a tray and put four margaritas down in front of us.

“There we go sweetness, on the house,” she winked at Harlen before turning and walking back towards the bar.

“Result,” he nibbled on his bottom lip and nodded his head like one of those nodding dogs you see in the back of cars.

“Mm result indeed,” my eyes widened for a moment, as I grabbed the glass and took a mouthful. Oh man it was delicious and could go down far too easily.

When I meet Connie tonight, I am ordering myself these.

“You were saying?” Harlen asked as he took a bite out of his roll.

“Saturday is going to be too late…” I felt so awkward.

“Late for what?” he looked a little confused.

“I have a deadline to sign you by Friday, if not then… well…” I winced at my words.

“Well, that’s not going to work is it…” he sighed, pushing his plate away as he reached for his phone and started tapping.

He put the phone to his ear before holding his finger up and telling me he would be one moment. Stepping out of the booth he walked out the front door.

And I’ve blown it.

Shit.