Dear Heart, You Screwed Me

Sunday whizzed by in a blink of an eye. I hated that the weekends passed too quickly. Stepping into the office Monday morning, I dumped my bag on my desk to see a pile of paperwork.

Brilliant.

This is not what I signed up for and I was still no closer to getting where I wanted to be. Hanging my trench coat up on the coat hook behind me, I pulled my chair out when the phone rang. It was Adele’s line. I quickly glanced down to my bare finger, relief washing over me that I remembered to take the tacky gold ring off as I walked into the office. I shoved it into my pocket.

“Yup.” My tone was curt and to the point.

“Office.” So was hers.

Happy Monday.

Pressing the phone back into its cradle, I stood straight and held my head high as I walked into her office, knocking before I did.

“You wanted to see me,” I smiled as I stood in the doorway, Adele was sitting scrolling on the mouse of her computer.

She called me in using her free hand. Closing the door behind me I sat down.

A few moments passed before she looked at me, her hands crossing over on her desk.

“So, over the weekend I have been thinking about what you said. How we need to appeal more to the clientele that we want.” I nodded. “And one of our investors also agreed with you. He overheard the conversation on Friday.”

Killian.

I felt my skin prickle in goosebumps. I run my hands up and down my forearm trying to get rid of them.

“Oh.” I managed, breathlessly.

“I would like for you to organise something to suit Harlen. I want you to wow him, and if, and I know… it’s a big if, but if you sign him… you’ll be promoted.” She forced a sickly smile across her face.

Wow, gee… thanks.

“That would be amazing.” I beamed, a genuine smile on my face.

“You have one week,” her tone was clipped as she turned slightly to face her desk.

Fuck.

“One week?” I stammered as I repeated her last words.

“Mmhm,” she hummed as she nodded, “what’s wrong? Are you not up for the challenge?”

“Oh, I am. I just wanted to make sure I heard you right.” I fiddled with my fingers on my lap.

“Good, and that paperwork on your desk. I need it back by midday.” Her eyes left mine as she shooed me away with her hand.

Double fuck.

Pushing off the chair, I quickly exited her office and closed the door behind me. How in the hell was I going to land Harlen Laufer in a week! Sitting back at my desk I dropped my head into my hands. What to do, what to do.

I pulled my phone out of my bag and tapped Connie’s name into it.

Me: Bitch face, you up yet?

My eyes glued to the screen, I waited for the ticks to appear.

Connie: Just. What’s up?

Me: I need help. I need to land Harlen Laufer in a week.

Even typing the words made me panic.

Connie: Holy fuck. Yeah, you’re screwed.

I rolled my eyes.

Me: Thanks dickhead, how am I going to get him?

Connie: You’re not.

Jeez, thanks for the vote of confidence.

I dropped the phone back in my bag and opened the internet. I could do this. I done this in my sleep back in England.

Pulling up his social media profile I clicked through his pictures. It was either him with his vamp teeth and blood, or his body. And man, did he have a body.

“Busy, are we?” Killian’s voice floated over me like silk. Panicked, I slammed my laptop screen down.

“I am actually, aren’t you?” I argued back.

“Not particularly,” he pulled his hand out of his pocket and looked at his nails. I noticed he still had his ring on.

“I’ll be honest, that’s not something I want to be seeing my wife look at,” his voice was low, gruff and totally hot.

My eyes widened.

“Quiet.” I pressed my finger to my lips shhing him. “And why have you still got your ring on?”

“More importantly, why haven’t you got your ring on?” his brows sat high in his forehead.

“Because I don’t need to have it on.”

“Are you, or are you not married to me?” he stepped forward, both palms pressed down on my desk.

“Unfortunately.” My voice is steady.

“Then, while we are married, you wear your ring.” He cocks his head, a delicious smile creeping onto his face.

“I don’t want to.”

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to… I am telling you,” his tone grew more serious, his eyes ablaze with fury.

“I can’t lose my job.” I sounded pathetic.

“You won’t,” he stood tall, “put the ring back on.”

I grunted as I fisted the ring from my pocket and slipped it back on.

“There, happy?!”

“Very.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too, sunshine.” He pouted, before a stupid smirk crossed his lips, slipping into Adele’s office and closing the door.

What a prick.

Sitting at lunch with Julianne, I twisted my fork into my pesto spaghetti.

“What’s biting you?” Julianne muttered through a mouthful of her meatball sub. “You’ve hardly eaten.”

“Just this Harlen Laufer stuff, I feel like Adele is trying to throw me under the bus.”

“She is,” she wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin.

I sighed as I continued pushing my spaghetti round the plate.

“You know I would help you if I could, but I am useless with things like this.” She shrugged her shoulders up apologetically.

“I know you would,” I reached across and placed my hand over hers, giving her a weak smile.

“Now eat up, let’s brainstorm.”

And brainstorm we did.

Walking back into the office with a few ideas bouncing around my head I sat down to get stuck in.

I sent a lengthy email to his email address. I had no clue if it was just a spam account or his actual one. The next stage would be stalking him. That made me anxious. I didn’t want to seem like an obsessed fan, I hadn’t even watched his show. Maybe I should, at least that way we would have something in common. I hoped. Nothing on his social media profile really jumped out at me, I knew where he went for his morning coffee because he always tagged the location so at least I had that to fall back on. But that was last resort. I needed to do this for Adele, but mostly for myself. I wanted to prove myself so bad; prove that I was so much more than her dogsbody who done her dirty work. I had jotted down a list of things I wanted to check out on Harlen so that would be my task tonight. I didn’t have any plans anyway. Connie said she may come over, but she has been seeing Kieran quite a lot. I don’t believe her. She is being too secretive; she is normally so open but for some reason she is acting a lot shadier. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s because I have a secret that I can’t tell her. You know, the secret where I am married to one of the investors of the company.

I mean, seriously. How. How could I have been so reckless. So bloody stupid. I managed to push the thoughts out of my head as I locked my computer and waved to Adele through the floor to ceiling glass panel. Wrapping my scarf around my neck and shrugging my trench coat on, I began to walk towards the main lobby. Julianne was deep in conversation; I would have waited but I just wanted to get home. I couldn’t waste any time. I didn’t want to deliver this on Friday, I wanted to deliver it tomorrow, if possible, but I mean… it was impossible.

Did we have it as a company to push Harlen out into the big, wide world more than he already was? I doubted it, but this was my job. I needed to get him over to Lordes PR whether it was the last thing I done.

My heels clicked across the high gloss marbled tiles as I pushed through the turnstiles and waved bye to the security guards. My small smile dropped from my face as I saw the hustle and bustle of the city. I didn’t like it when it was busy.

Escaping out of the rotating glass doors, the cold air caught in the back of my throat. Autumn was here, in full swing. Pulling my coat around my tiny frame, I dropped my head and began walking towards the subway. I was in my own world when I heard a toot of a horn. Turning my head to see a black Mercedes SUV slow down kerbside. I didn’t even have to guess who was behind the dark tinted windows. The back passenger window slipped down to reveal a beaming Killian. His brown hair pushed off his face, his dark, brown eyes bright as they pinned to me.

“Get in the car,” he called as the car halted.

“I’m fine, I can walk.” I huffed, tightening my scarf before beginning to walk again. I heard the engine start again.

“I didn’t ask if you were okay, I told you to get in the car,” his tone was clipped and short.

“I don’t want to get in the car.” I snapped “I’m not some damsel in distress that needs saving. Take your pissy Chelsea tractor and go away.”

“Chelsea tractor?” I could hear the confusion that laced his voice. I smiled smugly to myself as I continued to walk. There was no way I was getting in his car. I picked up the pace and began walking quicker. I needed to get somewhere he couldn’t. I needed to stay away from him. Us being close, together… it wasn’t good for either of us. It would only be a matter of time before the tension grew too thick, before the air between us began to crackle that little bit louder, his fingers making my skin burn, his mouth making my lips bruised in the best possible way…

Shaking my head side to side softly, I turned the corner and began to slow slightly. This was a one way, no chance of him getting down here. I played over my to do list in my head as I walked, I was so desperate to make Adele happy. But then again, even if I did make her happy let’s be honest… if she finds out I am married to Killian, I would be fired on the spot. It’s clear as day that they have some sort of relationship… whether it is strictly business or… more.

I shuddered, he wouldn’t be with her now he was married to me, would he?

Damn it Reese, why would you care?!

My subconscious snapped at me. She was right. I shouldn’t care. Big deal we were married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas, it means shit. It was nothing but a stupid, drunken mistake.

Like Ross and Rachel in Friends, except we were getting it annulled, we were not getting a divorce.

“Hey, wifey, wait up!” his voice was loud behind me. I stopped, looking over my shoulder before rolling my eyes.

“Why can’t you get the hint? I don’t like you; I don’t want to walk with you. I was just fine before you came along and ruined everything,” I snarled at him, slapping my hand down on my thigh.

His jaw dropped open, his brows meeting in the middle as he stood tall. He was really tall. Huh, I didn’t notice before. Weird.

“Sorry, did I force you to marry me?” Killian’s voice was raised as he stepped towards me.

“For all I know, yes!”

“Don’t be so fucking ridiculous,” he shook his head as I continued to walk away from him.

“Keep walking Reese, I will keep following. I have nowhere else to be,” I heard the amusement lace his voice.

“I will. You have fun trying to keep up,” I bit back, refusing to look at him again.

This is how we walked the whole way to the subway. Him two steps behind me. I was grateful to see the train pull in just as I got onto the platform. I was so over today, I just wanted to go back to my apartment.

I sat down between two handsome men on the busy subway, smirking at the fact that Killian hadn’t managed to get a seat. He fisted the red tag rope above his head as the train began to move. I was satisfied. I was scrolling through my phone when the guy beside me accidently nudged me as the train moved off the rail slightly, my head snapped up to look at him as he apologised. I smiled and told him it was fine before dropping my head again. That’s when I saw Killian’s shoes by my feet.

I slowly looked up through my lashes at him, blinking. He was stood over me, fists balled by his side like a raging bull. What the fuck was his problem?

“I suggest you move,” he spat through gritted teeth to the guy next to me who had just apologised.

“Killian,” I gasped.

“I was here first,” the guy retorted back.

“Bully for you. Now get up so I can sit next to my wife,” his voice was like venom, his tongue sharp.

“Sorry man, I don’t want any problems. Here, have your seat,” the young man got up and scuttled away.

Killian smiled, proud as punch as he sat next to me. He let out a relieved sigh before he leant forward and caught the attention of the guy who was sitting on the other side of me.

“I suggest you fuck off too,” he nodded, “run along.” Killian shooed him away and the guy scarpered up the other end of the carriage.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I was so embarrassed.

I didn’t talk to Killian for the rest of the train ride. I was so angry with him. How dare he feel like he can speak to people like that. As we pulled up at my stop, I rush to my feet and bolt for the door. As soon as I was on the platform I ran for the stairs, hoping and praying that Killian didn’t manage to get up quick enough.

Good, he didn’t follow. Hopefully he got the message. Douche bag.

Standing on the pavement, I held my hand up and hailed a taxi before slipping in and giving the driver my address.

I pulled my work phone out and ran through the list one more time when I saw an email from Harlen Laufer.

My heart drummed and raced in my chest as my fingers hovered over the keyboard.

“What’s the worst that’s going to happen?” I muttered to myself.

My heart fluttered; I was nervous. Opening his email, my eyes scanned for the important words.

He was in.

HE WAS IN!

I dropped my phone in my lap and let out a sigh of relief before I looked at the screen again and read his email slowly:

Reese,

I must say this sounds like an exciting and tempting invitation. But first, before we sign on any dotted lines, may I suggest we meet in person? I always like to get a feel for the people I agree to work with.

I wasn’t really looking for a new PR company, but my current PR team and agent are a bit ancient in their ways and I want to continue to grow, ready for when Blood Lust comes to an end. Because let’s face it, all good things must come to an end.

How about we meet tomorrow for lunch? I have a proposition for you. I’ll meet you at Sarabeth’s at noon and we can go from there.

Look forward to seeing you,

Harlen.

Holy shit.

This could be it. I tapped my calendar and added our business lunch in. This was good. This was exciting. That finish line of tomorrow was looking very promising. I played out the moment I rocked into Adele’s office with the paperwork from Harlen two days into my task. Then I would watch that smug smirk on her face disappear as quick as her fake arse attitude.

Nothing could wipe the smile off my face. Paying for the taxi, I jumped out and headed towards my block, greeting the doorman as I did.

“Evening, Miss Reese,” he tipped his top hat at me. I loved it here, I really did.

Walking through the lobby of the apartment block, I headed for the lift. I wanted a nice bubble bath, a glass of wine and then I wanted to write a list of questions to ask Harlen tomorrow.

Pushing the lift button, I pulled my phone out and tapped a quick message to Connie. I just wanted to check in and see how she was. It was strange that I hadn’t heard from her today. My brows pulled and knitted together for a moment before I felt my phone vibrate.

Connie: Will call soon, Love you bitch tits. X

Smiling, I dropped my phone into my bag and watched the lever on the lift drop to the ground floor. Stepping into the empty lift, I blew a breath of relief. I hated small, crowded places. Spinning round so I was facing the door, watching it close but just before they closed, a familiar black shoe stopped it.

“Hope you don’t mind me riding with you.” The goosebumps from his silky voice smothered across my skin.

Killian.

“I do actually.” I rolled my eyes hard and tsked as he pressed the button for my floor.

“You’re an irritant.” I snapped, refusing to look at him and watching the lift buttons light up as we reached each floor.

“I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re quite nasty,” he turned to face me; he sounded somewhat wounded. His eyes softened as they fell, rubbing his lips together before licking them.

The breath caught in the back of my throat as I gave in to the pull to face him. The tension was thick, the air felt thin as I gasped for air.

“I’m not nasty.” I muttered; I don’t know why, but it hurt more than it should.

“Don’t be sad Buttercup, I like it,” he wiggled his brows up and down, his eyes roaming over my body. “You’re feisty…” He stepped forward, smashing the emergency stop button. The lift came to an abrupt halt, making me unsteady on my feet as I grabbed the handrail to halt myself.

“Killian!” I shouted, throwing myself towards him as I tried to pull his hand from the button.

“Not happening, petal.” His lips played into a devilish smirk. It was panty melting, but it wasn’t going to work.

“Please, Killian. I am claustrophobic. I can’t do this.” My breathing fastened, my eyes scanning round the elevator walls as I tried to catch my breath. With each gasp, I felt more and more light-headed.

“Let me come up to your apartment and eat dinner with you.” His hand was still over the button.

“Killian,” I cried out, I felt the clamminess of my skin, the sweat pricking and beading on the surface, the walls closing in slowly around us as black dots invaded my vision.

“Agree to it,’ his voice was low, but possessive. He liked being in control.

“No,” I breathed, my whole body trembling as I tried to calm myself.

“Say yes,” he smirked, his hand still firmly on the button.

“Fine, fine!” I shouted, you could hear the panic that ripped through me, the fear apparent in my voice.

“Good girl.” He licked his lips, pushing the emergency button. The lift continued its climb.

I closed my eyes, trying to control my breathing. I was a trembling mess.

The lift pinged when it was on my floor, I pushed off the wall that was holding me up and barged past Killian.

“You’re an arsehole.” I spat at him as I walked towards my front door.

He was hot on my heels, his scent surrounding me like a bubble. I hated to admit it, but he smelt delicious.

Pulling my keys out of my bag in my trembling hands I opened the door quickly, before turning to close it in his face. But him and his poxy shoe were there stopping it. I saw his large hand curl round the door.

“Wife. That’s not fair, you agreed to it.”

I threw my bag on the floor, storming towards my bedroom and slamming it shut.

“I only agreed to it to get you to push the button you fucking lunatic!” I shouted back, my voice hoarse.

He could stay out there.

He made my blood boil. I don’t know what it was about him. He got under my skin and I hated it. He never got to me before but now I despised him.

Maybe it was because he was the collateral damage that could destroy my career in a heartbeat. He could destroy everything I had sacrificed and worked so hard for. I was the bomb and he was the detonator. One, small, slip of the finger and it was over.

I slid down the wall, my knees pulling into my chest as I wrapped my arms round myself. Closing my eyes, I focused on my breathing. Inhale for five, hold it for three, slowly exhale. After a few attempts, my heart started to slow. I tilted my head back so it was on the wall, my eyes pinned to the high ceilings. I heard a gentle knock on the door.

“Reese,” his voice was low, soft, calm.

“Go away Killian,” I snapped. I was ready to burst into tears at any minute, but I wouldn’t let him see me cry.

I saw the doorknob twist. Why couldn’t this man listen to one simple instruction?

He popped his head round the door, scanning the room before he saw me huddled in the corner and cuddling myself against the wall. His eyes softened; his sharp jaw unclenched as he saw me. Stepping into my bedroom, he closed the door behind him before dropping to his knees in front of me. His large hands cupped my face before lifting it to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was so low, it was barely audible. I could see the remorse in his eyes as they volleyed back and forth from mine. “So sorry,” he leant in and pressed his lips to my forehead, lingering for a moment. My stomach flipped at the feel of his lips on my skin, our first bit of intimate contact and it was after he was a complete, arrogant prick.

I nodded, sniffling and my intake of breath sharp. He pulled away, standing slowly in his expensive and tailored suit.

Pushing off the floor, I sulked into the open plan living and kitchen area. I slumped on the sofa. Killian followed but headed to the kitchen. I didn’t let my eyes follow, I focused on the blank, white wall in front of me. I needed to spend some money on the apartment and make it a bit more homely. It came already furnished but I bought all new bedding and mattress. The thought of someone sleeping in that bed gave me the ick. I didn’t have long to be lost in my thoughts as Killian was back with a large glass of wine, holding it out towards me. I took it gladly and sighed.

“Thank you.”

He rubbed his lips into a tight line, stepped back and headed for the door.

“I’ll be back soon,” the sound of the door closing behind him echoing around in the deathly silence.

“Don’t rush,” I snarled out to the empty room. Bringing the glass to my lips I took a large mouthful. I hummed in appreciation at the taste of the wine. It tasted even better because I was so desperate for it.

I heard my phone ringing in my bag, hopping up I ran and rummaged in my bag that Killian had hung up on the coat hook. Smiling when I saw it was Connie, I clicked answer.

“Why have you been so MIA?” I laughed.

“Oh, you know, boy stuff,” she laughed back.

“Mmhmm, wish I had that problem,” even though I did have that problem, all of six-foot-six of a problem, wrapped in the perfect suit with a killer jaw line and deep brown eyes.

“I am sorry for being a crappy friend, dinner tonight?” I could hear the desperation in her voice.

“As tempting as that is, I have so much to do ready for my lunch with Harlen Laufer tomorrow, I really can’t be going for dinner, but how about tomorrow?” I said with hopefulness in my voice.

“Boo, you whore,” she cackled.

“Okay Regina George,” I rolled my eyes in humour.

“But seriously, tomorrow is good. I’m on a late shift tomorrow, start at eight so can we go straight after you finish work?”

“Of course, how about we eat in the hotel, that way we don’t have to rush as much.”

“Perfect. I’ll meet you at five-thirty?”

“Five-thirty is perfect.”

“See you tomorrow bitch tits.”

“Love you,” I felt the smile on my face growing.

“Mwah, love you more,” she kissed before the phone went dead. Slipping it back into my bag I padded to the bathroom and began running the water. I couldn’t give a shit if Killian turned up as I let myself wrinkle in the bath and was locked out in the hall, banging on the door. He deserved it.

Turning the tap off, I stripped off and let myself submerge into the bath. The hot water felt good on my tense skin. It was tense because of my accidental husband. And what a beautiful, persistent twat of a husband he was.

I felt the tingles spread through me at the thought of his plump lips pressing against my skin. For a small moment, I wondered what they would feel like on my lips, his tongue pressing and invading my mouth. Was he dominant? Or did he like the girl to be dominant… who am I kidding? He is fucking dominant. I thought about how his fingers would circle and trail over my skin before they slipped between my legs, grazing over the most sensitive part of my body and showing me what it is like to feel and be loved again. But my thoughts were soon plagued with him doing that to Adele and me somehow watching and not being able to shout out.

I slipped under the bubbles and screamed, I needed them out of my head. It was wrong. My head should just be filled with Elijah. Always Elijah.

The guilt crushed me in an instant; pushing out of the water, I let the tears fall. It didn’t help with the guilt that it was Elijah’s anniversary of his death a few weeks ago and that date lays heavy on my shoulders. The pain didn’t ease like I thought it was going to.

No, it was still prominent, and the ache was a constant reminder of what I had lost.

I reached for my wine and downed it. I wanted to feel anything other than the betrayal I felt. Would I ever be able to move on? Or more to the point, did I even want to move on?