CUSP

I don’t know how long I have been unconscious but when I wake up its to Caleb’s worried face, his eyes are bloodshot and he is holding my hand like his life depends on it.

I try to speak but my throat hurts like crazy.

‘Take it easy.’ He says

I point at the water and he brings it to me then helps me drink from the glass.

‘I will get the doctor.’

I nod my head wordlessly.

He returns minutes later with the doctor.

‘Hello Wane, how are you feeling?’

‘Okay I guess.’ I say finally managing to speak

He checks my vitals before writing some things in my file.

‘She is stable, but we have to monitor her and make sure that both mother and child are fine.’

‘Okay doctor.’

I look at Caleb.

‘What does he mean both mother and child?’

‘You need to get better first before we can dwell into that.’

I shake my head, feeling the pain return to my stomach.

‘I can’t be pregnant, how can I not have known that I was pregnant.’

He swallows hard, trying his best not to look at me.

‘You can’t keep this child Wane, this will be the death of you.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘You can’t be pregnant for Besa, you can’t bring his child to the world.’ He says now standing up

I look at him at a loss of words.

‘I am not pregnant for Besa and if indeed I am pregnant I am keeping this baby.’

‘No you are not.’

I look at him intently

‘Did you know that I was pregnant from the onset?’

He looks away

‘Caleb, you gave me pain killers when I developed the headache. Were they really pain killers?’

‘No one is allowed to visit you in here, I have already signed papers for the medical abortion to happen. We are not arguing or discussing this ever again.’ He says before walking out of the room.

For a minute I stare hard at the closed door not wanting to believe what has just happened, how did I not know that I was pregnant? And how did my brother know before me?

I am still thinking about everything when the door opens, it’s Astridah.

‘We don’t have much time, if we are to make it out of here we need to leave now.’

‘What?’

‘We don’t have the time Wane, just get out of here now or it will end terribly.’

I don’t wait for her to tell me anything else, I know I shouldn’t be trusting her but between her and my brother she seems like a better option right now.

I get out of the beddings, I can’t see any signs of my clothes but before I can start looking for them Astridah reminds me that we don’t have a lot of time and we need to get going.

We get out of the room and I continue to walk behind her, I don’t have much strength but then if it means saving my baby I will do anything even if it means running in my state.

She leads us through a back door, I didn’t even know that hospitals have those. Her car is parked there and we drive out immediately. For a good twenty minutes we just drive in silence at a high speed, I don’t even know where we are going and I don’t have the energy to ask. It is only when we get to the airport that I dare open my mouth.

‘Your flight leaves in ten minutes, someone will meet you by the airport when you land. I will call you as soon as I know that it’s safe, for now I need you to do as I have told you.’

I don’t know how she did it but she has my passport and traveling bag which she gets out of the car and hands to me.

‘Change from inside, we might raise suspicion when you do it from the bathrooms.’

She waits for me to do that and I meet her outside.

‘Like I said, I will call you when I know it’s safe. For now take care of yourself and the baby, I know it won’t make sense for a while but eventually it will.’

..

We arrive in Lilongwe Malawi at 4:30PM, there is an elderly lady waiting for me by the airport. She has my name written on a piece of paper.

‘Wane yes?’ she asks, she must have seen my photos.

‘Yes ma’am.’

‘Call me Aunt Naomi.’

I nod my head.

She leads me to where her car is parked after helping me with my bag, we drive for close to thirty minutes before getting to a farm house, by this time I am tired and I just want to sleep. As if reading my mind she doesn’t bother giving me a tour, she takes me straight to the room I will be sleeping in and informs me that my water is ready for bathing.

I go into the bathroom but stand still looking at the water.

‘It’s for the baby.’ She says

The water looks like it’s filled with different herbs.

‘You need to bath whilst it is still hot child, only then will the medicine work.’ She urges me

‘Will you at least excuse me?’

She shakes her head.

She stands there watching me get out of my clothes, her eyes not once leaving me.

..

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Winnie

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