Chapter 54- EVERYTHING & NOTHING
They sat in the living room talking about everything and nothing. Vincent was making fun of Scarlet and how she reacted to seeing the blood and Stephan’s back. The other men were telling him how crazy he was for going through with it, all of them but Solara made fun of him.
“I think it’s the best sign of commitment.” Solara was earning brownie points with Kayla and they all knew it.
“Don’t worry I’ll be the one holding the knife when you two finally get hitched.” Stephan was enjoying the last night with his family. He held Scarlet close to him.
She had been silently watching the rest laugh and make fun as if it was just like any other day. She wished she could block out her problems just as they did. She couldn’t help but think about Stephan’s departure and how it would affect the little boy, whose head rested on her lap.
Scarlet knew how unbearably painful it would be for her when he left but she couldn’t even imagine how their son would feel.
“What’s wrong?” Stephan had noticed a somber mood.
“I think I should take him up to bed.” she used SJ as an excuse. The others were too close, there was no way to tell him how she felt without them hearing. She wished they had the same ability as Kayla and Solara.
“I’ll take him.” Vincent volunteered and before she could say no, he had already lifted him off her lap and was on his way to the staircase.
“Come with me.” Stephan walked out of the house, he didn’t look back to see if she was following. He sat on the pond bench and waited for the swishing sound of her gown.
She stood at his side, staring at him while he looked up at the moon.
“I think the only being that could give a full account of our relationship, since the first day we met, is that guy.” He pointed up at the moon as his gaze dropped to her face.
“The moon?” she followed his finger and strained to keep from meeting his eyes.
“The moon. It has witnessed our bad times and the good. It has seen us fighting and making love and it welcomed our son when he was born, just in time for the next day.”
“I wouldn’t remember that.” Her eyes strayed to the ground. She admired the contrast of her white gown with the grass.
“I’ll never forget it. That was the scariest night of my life. It takes second place after tomorrow night.” He back to looking at the moon. “And the happiest, second to tonight.”
“It’s midnight, it is tomorrow.” There was a coldness in her voice that she didn’t even recognize.
Scarlet silently listened to him go on about his best and worst night. Although she wasn’t awake at that time, nothing was ever going to trump the night of her son’s birth. That was her best day and today was her worst.
“Do you know why I’m scared Scarlet?”
“You are going back to Rio.” It was obvious.
Stephan hated that place and dreaded going there. She could remember the day he swore he would die before he went back. And now he was doing it willingly.
“No, that’s not it.” he stood up and took her hands in his.
Scarlet didn’t look up even when he moved closer to her. She was determined to avoid all and any eye contact as long as she could. Her eyes were now fixed on the tiny space left between their bodies.
“Look at me.”
She didn’t move.
“Scarlet look at me.”
This time he used his finger to help her along, and when she was looking right at him, he sighed.
“Don’t hide those beautiful eyes from me. I’m scared because even though we are married, I feel like I could lose you at any moment.”
She pulled her jaw away from his finger, and eased her hands out of his, and turned her back to him. She couldn’t bear to look at him anymore. The sadness in his eyes was drowning her deeper in her grief.
Stephan took her reaction as a confirmation of his fears. “Are you going to leave me Scarlet?”
She chuckled once, they took slow small steps around him. She then leaned forward raising herself on her toes.
“But you are leaving me and our son.”
“I’m not leaving I’m just-,”
“Just what? Protecting us. We can run, get away from all this madness.” She couldn’t hold in her desperation as it spilled out of her lips.
“I’m not a coward Scarlet. I won’t put you or my son through that. How long do you think we can run for? We will never get far enough.”
“You are not a warrior or... or a hunter. This isn’t the eighteen hundreds and you need to think about your family.” The grief was slowly being replaced by anger.
Stephan’s clenched his fist. She didn’t understand any of it. At that point, he was willing to lose her and still have her alive than dead.
“You don’t understand.” He held her face between his palms. “You need to understand. You told me to sort this out, do you remember. Right before you took off with my son, you told me to deal with this and I am.”
Scarlet didn’t say anything after that. Her own words were being used against her. How could she turn back and ask him not to do the one thing she had asked from him.
He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. After he kissed her on the forehead, he released her face and walked past her.
Scarlet watched him in confusion, it wasn’t like him to leave her like this, especially when she was crying and distressed.
“Where are you going?”
He heard the fear in her voice. “I’m just going for a run. I’ll be right back.” He turned back to the forest and continued walking.
“No, wait.” Scarlet’s fingers dug into her hair. She didn’t want him to go, she never wanted him to leave.
“I just need to think, I’ll be back.”
“No.” She breezed to him and weaved her fingers in his. “Not without me.”
Stephan slowly unzipped her dress and laid it on the bench.
“We don’t want to mess this up. Let’s leave it here.” He grinned down at her, amused at how uncomfortable she seemed wearing only her slip.
“I guess it’s a good thing I don’t feel cold, or hot.”
She held his hand and let him lead her deeper into the forest. It was the first and last night of their honeymoon and she planned to milk it for all it was worth. They got lost in each other under the cover of the tall trees, with the long soft grass as their bed.
Stephan had spent every second of that day with his son. He wanted to make sure he understood what he was doing. He left out the part about Scarlet being in danger and just told him the basic, he was going to Rio for business.
As he spent his day with his son, Scarlet spent hers avoiding him. She would make excuses and leave the room, whenever he would come in. She had been doing that ever since they woke up to their first day of marriage and probably the last.
“Why are you avoiding him?” Kayla found her on the bench by the pond.
“I’m not... if you are going to read my mind why bother asking.” Scarlet was in a sour mood.
“Calm down. I’m not going to pretend that I understand, but I can see and hear what you are going through. I’m here for you babe.” Kayla wrapped an arm around her.
Scarlet lay her head on Kayla’s shoulder, “I can’t bear it. Seeing him, kissing him, holding him, and knowing that he’s leaving. It’s too hard.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to sit here and watch as the darkness sets in. Wait for the time to come for him to leave.”
“What about him?”
“I know I seem selfish, but I just can’t bear it.” she could hear his voice from the house and it was enough for her. She was satisfied to just hear him, hear him laughing with their son and his friends.
“Xavier, Sam, and Nikki are leaving just as he is. Don’t you want to say goodbye to them?”
“I have a feeling I will be seeing them soon.”
“I need to go.” Kayla stood up to leave.
“Why, stay with me.”
“Three is a crowd.” She smiled at her, before walking away.
Just as Kayla disappeared round the corner, Stephan appeared. Scarlet got up in a hurry only to realize there was nowhere for her to go.
“Hi.” She waved at him.
“Hi, I have a feeling that you are avoiding me.” He pulled her into his arms.
“I’m just giving you and SJ some time.” she lied, but it wasn’t convincing enough.
“I heard what you told Kayla. I know it’s hard for you but you can’t let SJ see you like this.”
“Don’t worry about it.” she stepped out of his arms. “So what time is your flight?”
“That’s the thing, I’m leaving right now.”
“What!” Scarlet felt like she had just had the wind knocked out of her. She doubled over then squatted.
“Scarlet are you alright.” Stephan kneeled beside her, easing her into his arms to support her.
“I’m fine.” She shot up to her feet and walked away.
Stephan watched as she headed in the same direction they did the previous night.
“I love you, Scarlet.”
“I love you too.” She turned back to give him one last look and continued walking into the forest.
Stephan left without seeing her again, as much as it hurt him he was glad she wasn’t there. It made it all the easier for him to leave. He could barely stand giving SJ to Solara, he couldn’t imagine how worse it would be with Scarlet there, crying.
He got into the car with Xavier and the others, and as they drove off he didn’t look back. Memories of the day he had arrived tortured him, the sound of his son’s laughter, and the warmth of Scarlet’s body, and the comfort of being around his friends.
He was going back to a cold fortress, where he only had one friend and Marquis’s advancement to torment him through the day.
***
Scarlet hid behind a tree and watched as Stephan drove off the compound. She had an ache at the pit of her stomach that she knew would never go away. It would remain with her for as long as he wasn’t there.
She went back to the spot they had made love the previous night and lay there. Now she would only have the memories of his arms to comfort her during the nights, and his image in their son to soothe her during the day.
It got darker, and Scarlet knew if she was still human she wouldn’t be able to make her way back to the house, let alone hear SJ calling out to her.
She ran towards the house, following the direction his voice was coming from. She found him standing just outside of the house, she scooped him up in her arms. She watched all night as he ate and as he played games with the rest, and as he slept.
Scarlet wished she could be a baby again, oblivious to the horror that went on around her. SJ was as strong as Stephan and she admired that quality in him. He was handling his father’s absence better than she was.