Crisis of Identity

My favourite city café was busy with city workers on their morning coffee breaks when I arrived. The inside tables were occupied by suits holding one-on-one meetings and discussions, while a snaking queue formed from the coffee take away counter.

The alfresco tables on the front footpath—my preferred choice— were filled with a general mix of customers.

With my order number stand in hand, I weaved my way passed the table of women dressed in brightly coloured active wear and fashionable over-sized sunglasses.

Beyond them, I nodded a silent greeting to an older, retiree-age couple. Judging by the bags gathered at their feet, they were enjoying a break from their morning shopping.

I slid into a seat at a roadside two-seater table, beside a group of four tradies huddled around a table on their morning smoko. Each was wearing the trademark tradie yellow fluoro vest and camel coloured steel cap boots.

Mitch works as a Building Certifier and Surveyor in the city. His office is only a short stroll from the café, so whenever I have scheduled meetings, or any other reason to head into the city, I usually take the opportunity to catch up with him for a coffee.

The coffees I ordered arrived at the same time as Mitch. As he slid into his seat he apologized for being late. ‘I was just about to walk out the door and my phone rang. I should’ve let it go to voice mail…’ Mitch explained.

‘All good, Bro. These just arrived.’

‘Busy this morning, isn’t it?’

‘Best coffee for blocks. That’s why.’

‘True dat… Hey… Have you heard anything yet from Miles?’ Mitch said, then sipped his coffee.

It’s been four days since I called him over the warrants served on mum and me. I emailed him a copy of the warrants later that same afternoon however I am still yet to hear anything back.

‘Nothing yet,’ I said. ‘Which surprises me, a little.’ I sipped my coffee. ‘If she has to comply, mum has eight days to provide a sample to the cops…’ I checked my watch. ‘And four days have passed already.’

‘He’ll call, Mate. He knows what he’s doing.’

I checked over each shoulder then leaned in towards Mitch. ‘What do you know about the dark web…?’ I said quietly.

‘Not a lot, why?’ He took a sip while curiously regarding me.

‘You can just about get anything on there, can’t you?’

Mitch shrugged his indifference. ‘As I understand it. But I’ve never been. It gets a little scary when you start going down those sort of rabbit holes.’

‘Yeah. You’re right.’

‘Why the dark web…? What are you thinking of?’

‘Dawes…’ I held my stare at Mitch.

Mitch paused taking a sip. ‘Dawes?’ His brow furrowed. He lowered his cup then checked his surrounds. He leaned in closer. ‘What are you saying, mate?’

‘I hate this prick so much. When I see what he’s doing to mum.’ I shook my head. ’I gotta tell you mate… The world… our world,’ I emphasized. ‘Would be a better place without Dawes in it.’

Mitch sat back in his chair. His eyes firmly locked onto me. ‘Surely you’re not thinking…’ He cut himself off as he checked over each shoulder.

‘I don’t know what I’m thinking any more… I just wish he was gone…’ I checked my surrounds for prying ears. ‘Do you think there are people on the dark web who handle… you know… Such a situation, though…?’

‘Mate… I don’t even want to go there with thoughts like that. Look…’ Mitch checked the table of tradies as he leaned in closer. ’I can only imagine what Dawes is doing to your family… Hell, I hate him for it and I’m not on the receiving end of his crazy witch hunt. But what you’re thinking is nuts, bro. Get those thoughts out of your head, now… OK. That’s not you. You’re better than that.’

I rubbed a hand across my forehead. How could I argue with that? Mitch is right, it is crazy talk, but that is what Dawes is doing; he is breaking us.

‘I didn’t say I was going to do it.’ I rubbed a confused hand across my mouth. ‘I was just wondering if that type of service is available…’

‘Then you don’t need to know if it exists, do you? Forget it. It doesn’t matter if it does, or not. You’re not doing it, mate. Are we clear?’

‘I wasn’t—’

‘Kade…! Are-we-clear?’ Mitch emphasized.

‘We’re clear, mate.’ Mitch held an unconvinced glare. ‘No. It’s all good, bro, truly. We’re clear. I won’t think like that anymore, OK.’

Mitch nodded, albeit unconvinced. ‘Good. Good,’ he said. He sat back in his chair. He checked his surrounds. ’That is a world you do not belong in and you do not want to venture into, even if you are only window shopping… OK?’

‘OK.’

’Is it though, mate? Is it OK…? ‘Coz I’m just not sure.’

‘Seriously, mate… I’m good. That idea has been binned.’

‘Good. Coz from what I hear, the cops and feds continually monitor the dark web. For all you know, you think you are hiring a…’ Mitch paused to check the neighbouring tables. ‘…person to assist your cause, and they could be a fucking undercover cop mate.’

Mitch made his point. It was crazy talk that borders on levels of psychosis. But that is what Dawes is doing to me. ‘I’m not stupid, Mitch. I would never do it… I might think about it now and then… yeah sure. But never do it.’

‘You haven’t discussed this lunacy with anyone else… have you?’

‘Shit no, mate…’

Our discussion was interrupted when my mobile began vibrating on the table. The fortunate timing was not lost on me. I checked the screen. ‘Speak of the devil… It’s Miles,’ I lifted the phone. ‘Sorry. Do you mind…?’

Mitch extended a hand. ‘No, course not. Could be important.’

Consistent with most telephone calls I have with Miles, it was short and to the point.

‘Everything OK?’ Mitch asked, as I tabled my phone.

‘Yeah. Good. We have a hearing on the 28th to challenge these latest warrants.’

Mitch checked his watch. ‘The 28th… Next Thursday…’

‘Correct. Miles is confident we will get mine withdrawn, but he’s not so confident with mum’s warrant.’

‘Do you have to be there?’

‘He wants us to attend so… yeah, I guess we do.’

‘Is that an issue, though…? I mean… If the court rules that your mum has to provide her DNA… Would that really be such a problem? It will prove once and for all you two are related, then Dawes might leave you alone.’

‘I think it’s the principal of it, more than anything else, Mitch. I think mum is annoyed that this cop from Queensland can compel her to provide her DNA and medical records, when the fact remains, there is absolutely no reason justifying the request. It’s like a breach of her civil rights.’

‘I hear you, bro and I couldn’t agree more.’

‘Hey guys, what’s up…?’ A voice from the footpath called out. It was our mate, Doug Barnes. He dragged a nearby chair over and joined us at the table.

‘Hey, Barnsey.’ I gestured to our cups. ‘You up for a coffee?’

‘Nah. I’m good thanks. I’m just off to the bank,’ he said jabbing a thumb to his left.

‘You still on for Wednesday night, bro?’ I asked.

‘Of course. Must be close to my turn to win, I reckon.’

‘In your dreams, buddy,’ Mitch said. ‘You’re talking to the master here…’ He jabbed a thumb at me.

Wednesday night is poker night. Around eight of us get together at mine for Texas hold ’em and some beers.

We each chip in a twenty at the start of the night and the winner takes all.

‘How’s everything going with all that shit happening to you?’ Barnsey said. ‘I saw the retraction published in the West Australian the other day. Read pretty well, actually. Were you happy with it?’

‘Yeah. It was good, I thought. If nothing else, it clearly explained how the paper got it all so very wrong. It made mum feel that little bit better after she read it.’

’Still can’t believe you didn’t sue ’em, bro. You woulda got a packet out of ‘em for that,’ Barnsey said.

‘It was never about money, Barnsey…’

’Yeah, I get that… But I think you let ‘em off easy with their stuff up.’

‘You may be right… But we’re happy with what they published, so as far as we’re concerned… that’s the end of it.’

‘Fair enough,’ Barnsey said. He checked his watch. ‘Anyway boys… I must keep going.’ He punctuated his comment by a double tap on the table then pushed himself up from his chair. ‘See ya on Wednesday night...’

Mitch drained his cup. ‘I should get going to, Kado,’ he said.

‘OK mate.’ I stood from my chair and stretched my back. With a parting fist bump we continued on with our days.