Consider Me (Playing For Keeps Book 1)

OLIVIA

“ARE YOU EMBARRASSED?”

The bob of my head is barely perceptible, but it’s there. My gaze drifts over the room, noting the unrelenting stares, the hands clasped under chins or pressed over hearts. Finally, it lands back on the man kneeling before me. “So embarrassed.”

“I told you I’d embarrass you,” Carter reminds me. “Would you like me to stop?”

“Please don’t,” I whisper.

“You know, I originally wanted to do this at the Stanley Cup Finals. But Cara said you’d be mortified, in front of twenty-thousand people and another seven-million viewers on TV. I wouldn’t have minded, all those people seeing. But I only wanted to embarrass you a little, not mortify you. Cara suggested this might be a better option.”

“I appreciate the consideration. I’d like to live to see the day, not die of embarrassment.”

Carter chuckles, rising to his feet. Stepping into me, he cups my cheek. “I know we’ve had our struggles. This relationship didn’t start as smoothly as I imagine most do. We’ve had to learn a lot along the way, but I personally think we fucking nailed it.”

He pauses to smile as I giggle.

“Until you, there was only hockey. I didn’t think it was possible to want anything more, to love someone…” He trails off, closing his eyes, and when they open again, his stare is unwavering, blatant need and desire running rampant, making those green eyes shine like the emeralds they are.

“The way I love you is inexplicable. It’s so much more than just wanting to be with you but needing to more than anything. I need you, because without you, something will always be missing in this life, just out of reach. Because you make everything better, and everything makes sense.

“You’re all the best parts, the cozy snuggles, the quiet conversations while we’re lying in bed, the sleepy mornings. The way my whole body comes alive when I see you for the first time after coming home, the way your face lights up and you jump into my arms and hold me like you need me as much as I need you.”

“I do need you,” I tell him quietly, stroking down the side of his face. “Everything fell into place the moment I gave in to what my heart was telling me I needed. I love you, Carter, even if I was afraid to in the beginning.”

“Before, nothing scared me more than the idea that I might fall in love,” Carter admits with a quiet chuckle. “But nothing has ever scared me more than the thought that I might lose you. I know you like to say that I’m ostentatious, that I like to flaunt what I have, that I do everything with flair. And you’re right. Because why the hell wouldn’t I? I’m proud of every damn thing I have, and at the forefront of things I’m smug as hell about having earned is you and your love.”

He looks down, turning the small box in his hand, and then meets my gaze, eyes sure and steady as they peer into mine. He drops back to his knee, gently prying the top off the box in his hands. “Are you still embarrassed about all the people?”

“What people?”

“That’s my girl,” he chuckles, slipping my left hand into his. “I fucking love you. So fucking much it’s terrifying.”

My hand shakes in his, and he squeezes, stilling the tremble.

“All I’m doing when I’m away from you is counting down the minutes until we can be together again. There is no other option for me than a life with you. I know it’s soon, but I don’t need time to tell me what I already know, that a forever with you can’t come soon enough. Be my forever. Officially, because forever is all you’ve ever been to me. So…marry me, Ollie girl. Say yes.”

I don’t know what comes over me, but my face shatters with a grin. “Are you asking? It sounds more like you’re—”

“Demanding? That’s because I am. I refuse to be without you. Absolutely refuse, because that’s the last place either of us belongs. You’re mine. My best friend and my lover, my only version of forever, and I don’t intend on ever letting you go. My only intention is to legally bind you to me for the rest of our lives.”

“So romantic.” Dropping to my knees, I wrap my arms around his neck as he winds one arm around my waist. I’m well aware that the crowd is buzzing. This conversation has been going on for quite some time now, but I don’t care. “Are you sure you want to be tethered to me forever?”

There’s that grin I love, lopsided and arrogant, a man who’s never been surer of himself. “For-fucking-ever, Ol. Lock me up and throw away the key. I’m yours, baby. Always have been, always will be. And I’ll romance the shit outta you when we get home.”

My nose wrinkles, trying to quell the tears that keep rolling as I study his face, the fire in his eyes that never dims, the hope, the promise. “I love you so much, Carter.”

“Then why am I still waiting for an answer here?”

“Hmm.” I pull him closer, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I thought demands didn’t require answers?” My chest stretches at the heartbreakingly beautiful smile that decorates his handsome face. “I love you, Carter. There’s nothing I want more in this life than to spend it with you.”

His throat bobs with a hard swallow, mossy eyes dancing in the golden glow of the ballroom. I watch as they gloss over, and when he blinks, a single tear rolls down his right cheek.

“Why are you crying?” I ask quietly, catching the tear with my lips.

He doesn’t answer. Not me, anyway.

“She said yes!” Carter scoops me up around the middle, clutching me to his chest as he springs to his feet and spins me around. “She’s gonna be my wife!”

He sets me back on the ground, slips the most stunning diamond on my finger, tips me backward, and claims my mouth with a kiss that’s nothing but possessive and wild, frantic, filled with all the love we’ve been missing this past week.

And I know without a doubt in the world that we’ll never have to go without again.

Carter wasn’t joking about not taking no for an answer. The limo was waiting out front of the hotel, my luggage stowed inside. The second Cara and Emmett took off, we followed.

Carter all but threw me in the backseat, repeating how much he wants to go home. And, well…home sounds pretty good to me.

He’s looking awful cute and shy as he punches in the new code to the front door: 1215.

“December fifteenth,” he says, pink creeping up to the tips of his ears under the porch light. “The day we met.”

I take two steps inside and stop, mouth falling open as I look around. My heels drop from my hand, clattering to the ground. I trail my fingers over the frames littering the hallway wall, filled with photos of us and all the amazing people in our life. I turn back to this incredible man, catching him staring at the word scrawled in wood hanging overtop of the photos: family.

“When did you do this?”

“Friday.” He takes my hand, tugging me toward the stairs. “Come on. There’s more.”

He brings me to the first spare room, revealing a small office with a desk and a leather chair, a loveseat and a floor lamp with one of those pod coffeemakers and a canister full of tea bags and decaf coffee pods. My workbag leans up against the legs of the table, and my laptop sits on top.

Carter rubs at the back of his neck. “You’re always sitting on the floor around the coffee table, planning and marking. I thought maybe you’d like—”

I cut him off with my lips on his. “I absolutely love it. I’m not going to ask how you got my things, but I’ll assume Cara was involved.”

His chest puffs with pride. “I was in your room as soon as you two left for Whistler.”

That explains literally everything. Cara was waiting for me when I finished work on Thursday. The car was already packed, and off to Whistler we went so we could be up at the butt crack of dawn on Friday for a spa day. No complaints here, though. The bags under my eyes were puffy as hell, as Cara so kindly reminded me several times via prodding fingertips.

Carter leads me down the hall to the bedroom, his hand tightening around mine as he opens the door. It’s always been a beautiful room, but now…

By the fireplace I love to curl up beside and read on cool nights are three large pillows, a basket with blankets, and a side table with a stack of my books. A dresser that matches Carter’s, though this one is shorter and wider with a large antique mirror on top, rests against a wall that was previously empty, and inside is my clothes.

Carter gestures to a beautiful glass vase filled with sunflowers, pink roses, and orange daisies. “The florist called it ‘Hello Sunshine.’” He scratches at his temple, eyes bouncing between the flowers, me, and the floor.

“You’re not playing shy right now, are you? Not Carter Beckett. Not possible.”

He grins down at me as his arms pull me in. “I wanted you to feel like you were home.”

“I’ve always felt like I’m home with you, Carter. It doesn’t matter where we are or what we have.”

“I want to give you everything.” The words are quiet and sincere as his hands trail up my back, fluttering over my zipper. “Absolutely everything.”

“You’re all I’ve ever needed, I promise you.”

His breath catches in his throat as I push him gently against the wall, my fingers working the buttons of his shirt while my tongue finds his. I run my hands over his torso, feeling the way the muscles flex beneath my touch, and I sweep over his shoulders, down his arms, until his shirt falls to the floor.

Carter flips me over, pressing my chest to the wall as he slowly draws my zipper down until I feel his hot breath dusting down my spine, kissing my skin. Strong hands grip my waist, my hips, as my dress falls to the floor, taking my panties with it. He lifts me, depositing me on the edge of the bed, and I pull at his belt buckle, guiding his pants and boxers over his thick thighs. When he ditches them behind him, he falls to his knees at my feet.

Carter drops his face to the space between my legs, and I feel the cool dampness of his tears on the inside of my thigh. My heart breaks when his gaze lifts to meet mine.

“I was so afraid, Olivia. Terrified. Watching you walk away from me and not being strong enough to stop you in that moment, to be honest with you, to ask you to be patient with me so we could work through it together…I didn’t feel like I deserved you. You deserved more than me, than what I gave you. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you deserved.” His eyes fall, followed by his face, as if he still thinks himself unworthy, as if he doesn’t forgive himself for a situation that was beyond his control in the first place.

And that won’t do.

I stroke two fingers down his cheek, tipping his face up to mine. “I love you through the perfect moments, and there are so many, but I will always love you through the imperfect ones too.”

His eyes shine with appreciation, overflowing with love. “I thought I lost you forever and I…I…” Fear steals his words, makes his stare seem so dark and far away as he shakes his head ever so slightly. He blinks, and a tear rolls down his cheek. “I couldn’t. I can’t. I won’t. I won’t ever lose you, Ollie. You make me better than I was before.”

I don’t believe that, not for one second. This man on his knees before me was always the man I know now, the one I love so wholly, so endlessly. I think he was just cautious about who he shared all these special parts with. I’m so lucky and grateful to be the person he chose, the one who gets to see him, know him, all of him.

His long fingers wrap around my waist, gripping me tightly as he peers up at me from beneath his lashes. “I was lost before you, Ollie, and I’d be lost without you. You’re my best friend.”

“And you’re mine.” Curving my palm around Carter’s neck, I guide him up my body. “Now come here and love me, Mr. Beckett.”

“Yes, Mrs. Beckett. One round of sweet, sweet lovin’, coming right up.”

“Only one?”

“Oh, baby. You’re not going to sleep ’til the sun comes up.”

I expect hard and rough, a symbol of his need, the ferocity with which he’s missed me, missed this. But that’s not what he gives me, because like he always does, Carter gives me all parts of him. And tonight, he’s soft and tender, savoring each moment as his fingertips dance over every inch of my body. His lips move with gentle precision down my neck, across my collarbone, over the plains of my belly and the curve of my hips, igniting my skin and leaving a trail of need so raw it makes me tremble with lust.

I lace my fingers through his silky, rumpled waves, curling and tightening, and pull his face from between my legs where it feels like he’s been lapping for hours instead of only minutes. Wonderful, amazing, toe-curling minutes.

With a moan and a shudder at the way he licks my arousal off his lips, I whimper out my next words, my plea. “I need you. Please. Now. I need you, Carter.”

“You have me,” he whispers, the weight of his body settling over mine.

He parts my legs, hiking one around his hip as his cock pushes at my entrance, and my nails bite into his shoulders as I cling to him. Carter brings his mouth to mine, searing me with a mind-blowing kiss, swallowing my gasp as he thrusts slowly inside me.

“I love you.” He kisses the tears that fall freely from my eyes. “And I’m gonna love you for the rest of my life, and after that too.”

“Liv, Liv, Liv, Liv.”

Poke, poke, poke, poke.

“Ollie, Ollie, Ollie, Ollie.”

Poke, poke, poke, poke.

I make a grumbly sound, 100 percent not a word, and slap at the finger currently poking at my cheek.

“C’mon, sleepy bear. Wake up, Ollie girl.”

“I just fell asleep,” I mutter, cranking one sleepy lid, squinting at the sun pouring through the glass doors over Carter’s shoulder. He shifts until his smiling face is the only thing I see.

“You’ve been sleeping for four hours.”

“Four hours?” I flop onto my back, spreading my arms out wide. “Well, if I’ve been sleeping for four hours, surely it must be time to wake up.”

Carter’s morning chuckle is one of my favorite sounds, deep and rumbly, raspy with sleep, although he’s clearly been awake much longer than me. His attitude is remarkably chipper.

He rolls on top of me, spreading my thighs, smearing the wetness between them. He hums appreciatively, dipping his fingers, making me bury my head in the pillows as I moan. “Hmm. Seems like you were waiting for me to wake you.”

I don’t know if I’m more surprised or disappointed when he rolls off me, tugging me up too.

“Come on. Up you get. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”

I grab a pillow and smack him in the side of the head. “It’s rude to start something you’re not going to finish.”

“Oh, I’m gonna finish. About ten times over, and then you’ll really need to sleep.” His grin is all devil, but then he tugs on my hand again, towing me toward the balcony. “I wanna show you something.”

“Show me what? And why do we have to do it on the balcony? Can’t we stay in bed? And why do we have a busy day? It’s a holiday.”

Carter shoves me down to the lounger, in front of an impressive breakfast spread and his half-closed laptop. I go willingly, because there’s bacon, and also, I love him.

“We have to do it on the balcony because this is where the food is. But more than that?” His gaze coasts over me, shining with adoration. “I fell in love with you on this balcony. I fell in love with the way you slept peacefully next to the fire. I fell in love with the way you gazed with wonder at the sky, the millions of stars. I fell in love with the way you opened up to me, let me see you and let me show you me too. I fell in love with the way we laid here, your body wrapped in mine, all the times we’ve made love here, and when I asked you to make this house yours. I fell in love with you over and over again, and I keep doing it every single day, right here on this balcony.”

My heartbeat skips, and I lift his arm, snuggling into his side. “Okay, you got me. I love this balcony. In fact, those are all excellent reasons for us to stay right here all day long and never leave. Don’t you think?”

Carter props his feet on the coffee table and sets his laptop in his lap. When I spy the screen, I sit up so fast I knock it off his lap, lunging across him to catch it before it can fall to the ground.

“How do you feel about a fall wedding?” He takes a sip from his steaming mug, then offers it to me, ignoring the way my jaw hangs.

“A fall wedding? Like, this fall?”

“Mhmm. This fall.”

“But that’s so—”

“Soon.” His brows rise. “You got a problem with that?”

“I just…I…no. Are you sure that’s what you want? You’ll be so busy with hockey. And we don’t have to rush. If you want—”

“I don’t want. I don’t want to wait because I don’t want a life where you’re not in it. My world only spins so beautifully because of the way you’ve opened my heart and made me feel like myself again. I didn’t know who I was anymore after my dad left. All I was was tied into being a hockey player, a leader. That’s all I knew how to be. Until you showed up and reminded me I was capable of so much more, that I had so much to offer. So, fuck me, I wanna marry you right now, but that seems unrealistic and definitely impulsive—we should probably invite our family and friends—and there’s a week in November where we don’t play for four days, so fall seems like a good time, if you’re open to that.”

“I’m-I’m—” A little speechless, it seems. “I can do that. If we can find a venue and everything on such short notice.”

He spins his laptop back my way. “We’ve got four appointments today to look at venues that all have that weekend open.”

My jaw drops. Again. I’m not sure it’s ever actually closed since this conversation started. “But it’s Canada Day. It’s a holiday.”

“Listen, you know I don’t like to boast—” he does a courtesy pause for my eye roll and snort, “—but being rich and famous affords me certain privileges, like looking at wedding venues on a holiday Monday.” He pokes my cheek. “And also, Cara’s been lowkey planning our wedding since I took her with me to design your ring back in May, and you have three dress appointments booked before they leave on their honeymoon.”

“But they leave on Saturday.”

His expression tells me he’s sorry, or, more likely, he pities me. Because nobody wants to spend three days with Cara trying on dresses. I feel like I’ve just finished doing so, except it was a month-and-a-half-long endeavor to choose her dress, and the scars are still fresh.

“Listen, it was hard to reel her in once it all started. And honestly, I got kinda scared, so I let her run with it.” He gestures at the screen. “She set up all these appointments and we just have to choose which one we like best. Then she said, and I quote, ‘Leave the rest to me.’ She kinda cackled while she said it and did that creepy thing where she drums her fingers together.” Carter shudders, then shrugs. “So I agreed and got the hell outta there.”

“Okay.” I snuggle into him, laying my head over his chest. “Show me where we’re going today.”

He smiles so brightly that I smile too. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Every venue is gorgeous, of course, but my favorite thing is the way his face lights up as he talks about each one, what he likes best about them and which one he thinks I’m going to like the most, his hands moving wildly while he speaks. When he’s done, he closes the laptop, sliding it onto the table and pulling me into his arms.

“First appointment’s in two hours,” he hums against my neck.

“Ah. So we can put forever on hold for another round of fun?”

“Forever started the second you said yes on midnight all those months ago, the second my lips met yours for the first time. I have every intention of spending the rest of my life the way the year started, with me loving on every bit of your sassy little body. Everything begins and ends with you and me and the way you make my heart pump wildly and my stomach do flippy-floppies.”

“Flippy-floppies?”

He nods, his nose rubbing against mine. “Fucking flippy-floppies, Ol.”

Carter pushes me to my back and climbs on top of me, straddling my hips. With my wrists in his hands, he pins my arms above my head. His face dips, the tip of his nose ghosting up my neck until his lips find mine.

“I don’t think I have slow and gentle in me today, Ollie.”

“Is that right?” I gasp as his teeth bite down on the delicate spot on my neck, just below my ear.

“No. I’m gonna love you hard today, and I’ll only know I’ve done my job right if I have to carry you down to the car when we’re done. That all right with you, princess?”

“Every way you love me is perfect.”

He chuckles softly against my skin before he sinks inside me. “That’s good, ’cause I love you in a million different ways, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life showing you how.”

I brush the waves off his forehead and press a tender kiss to his lips, drawing out the soft side of this man a little longer before he becomes the feral animal I love just as much. “I love you, Carter.”

His crooked smile pulls those dimples in, lighting my soul. He sits back on his heels, pulling me onto his lap, never severing that connection as his fingers sink into the hair at the nape of my neck and his tongue takes my mouth.

“Thank you for choosing me, Ollie girl. I couldn’t have imagined a better life.”