Chapter 13 - |Fresh Water| Part 2
As Assan continues swimming, I hope he is not going to another cave. Like always, Assan glides through the water, but this time, he is moving faster than ever before. I keep my eyes closed, feeling the heaviness of my own body weighing me down. I’m tired—tired of fighting Assan, losing to him, and attempting escape. Even though the water is cool, my body is warm, burning like I’m under the sun’s rays.
“Hold on.” I hear a faint voice—Assan’s voice—speaking to me. His tone puzzles me, confuses me, as he sounds concerned and afraid. Once more, I hear words spew from his lips; his voice is shaky.
My chest hurts. Breathing is painful, and my muscles are limp. Often times, when I was younger, I would sit by the window at night, calling out for my father. The smoke from the factories would rise up into the starlight sky and cover the glowing stars. Maybe it was a sign, maybe my father was dead, and that is why he never returned. Soon, I will be joining him. Like him, I failed my mother and Joe, abandoning them. I give up my life to be better than my father, but like mother always said, I am a failure like the others of my kind, black and worthless.
“We’re almost there,” I hear Assan whisper in my ear. He shifts, moving my form in a fluid motion as I stay in his arms. At this point, time is lost to me.
My eyes are still closed, so only the void of darkness is my company. Suddenly, a chill air blows across my face, but the heat still consumes me. The smell of fresh, sweet air hits my nostrils, like after a rainstorm. As I breathe heavily, my chest rises and falls. Breathing hurts and aching pains course through me; the sharp pains strike me as if am I stabbed with a blade.
I shift and vaguely open my eyes. In the distance, there is a stony wall and beams from the moon shine down on the rocks. Colors of the rainbow reflect off the jagged wall, darting light in all directions.
Slowly I try to lift my arm, but I fail. For a moment, I think, is this how it feels to die? As I lower my eyelids back over my pupils, my head rolls to the side.
“Elena!” Assan yells out, but I no longer care. I want to find peace, even if it means finding peace in death that I couldn’t find in life. Perhaps my father is on the other side, waiting for me.
“Elena!” My name repeats, but slowly, all sounds fade from my ears. Before I can let go and say goodbye to this world, something soft capture my lips. It’s a smooth feeling, a familiar touch my mind tries to understand and remember. As this sensation covers my lips, the pain in my body slowly subsides, as if life is pouring back into me.
Noise returns to my ears; my muscles no longer ache, and again, I am breathing on my own. With my energy returned and feeling revitalized, I snap my eyes open. Above me are raven locks descending on my face. Assan is kissing me! He presses his lips deeper against mine until he collapses, rolling to my side.
Quickly I sit up and watch the once-proud prince panting heavily and saturated in sweat. His lower half—shimmering midnight blue tail—is in the water, and his upper body is lying on my moist chest.
Confusion overtakes me as I try to understand what happened. I recall the last place we were: by his kingdom, where the mermen were getting attacked.
Life was leaving me, but now, my health has returned. I drat my gaze to Assan, watching him lay on my lap. Did he save me? Even at this moment, I don’t understand. One minute Assan is punishing me, humiliating me, and now he saved me. However, I know it’s all for his own selfishness, for his people. In his weakened state, I could take a rock and crush his skull.
While his head is on my lap, I use my hand to search for a nearby rock. Because of him, Seidon may be gone from this world, and Joe is at the mercy of my mother. No one will help Joe. And here I am, doomed to die by Assan’s hand while my little brother is suffering, but now I can kill the merman who took me with my own hands first.
Once I find a suitable rock, I tighten my hold on it and lift it above Assan’s head. Rage courses through me, and every moment, every interaction with Assan goes through my mind. Before, I wasn’t a killer, but now, I do not care. In one swift movement, I will bash his head in, and then it will all be over.
Slowly I lower the rock, making sure he can’t see me. My heart thumps in my chest with anticipation, of knowing soon Assan will be dead. I tighten my jaw, about to slam the rock against his skull; however, Assan says, “Are you alive?” he asks weakly, with his eyes closed and head still on my lap.
Even now, after everything, Assan is thinking about me. I chew my bottom lip as tears build at the base of my eyes. Why? I curse myself, must I be so weak.
“Elena. . .” Assan coughs. My arms tremble as the realization of Assan’s state shocks me. I lower the rock further; this is my last chance, my only chance to get revenge for Seidon.
“Answer me.” His voice is feeble. He coughs again, and then says, “I-I gave you some my life force. A human’s life is weak compared to a mers, so just sharing a bit of my energy should’ve healed you, but it still leaves me a little weak,” he says softly as he stirs, trying to look up at me.
To his words, my eyes widen, and the rock drops from my hands, making a thud sound that echoes in the cave.
“Assan,” my voice comes out as a whisper. Tears stream from my eyes. Of course, I am too weak to kill him, or anyone else. I used to think of killing my mother in her sleep, but I never could. Even now, after losing everything, I am still not a murderer; I cannot kill Assan.
He breathes a sigh of relief and shuffles in my lap, but his eyes are still closed. He shakes slightly, just enough to maneuver around.
“I am fine, Assan,” I say softly.
“I am glad,” he mummers in a quiet tone. This Assan—who is fragile and barely moving—is foreign to me. He isn’t acting like the strong, stubborn prince I know, but he just stays in my lap, taking in my warmth.
I sigh and rank my eyes around the cave. Above us, there is a wide gaping hole, revealing the stars and moon. The starlight twinkles in the skies and beams from the moon illuminate the area. I shift my gaze, and the lights from the water catch my eye.
In the rumbling liquid, fluorescent fish swim as fireflies flying through the shadowy night air. Their brilliant blaze glows in the watery depths, reflecting light onto the rocky ceiling above them.
Between the moon, the shimmering fish, and the rocks, the view is breathtaking. To cure my lack of bloodlust, I drink in my surroundings, filling myself with a sense of tranquility.
Assan stirs again, digging himself deeper into my lap. For a moment, I look down at his sprawled out, black locks on my moist dress. He appears like a child, seeking comfort and love.
I then gaze down at the gray ground on the edge of the water, disgusted in myself. I should kill Assan and push his corpse from my body, but instead, I am comforting him.
“Elena,” he calls weakly.
“Yes.”
“Soothe me,” he orders in a low voice.
I freeze, stunned at his request, unsure of how to fulfill his wishes. As I look down at his black hair, I remember a time when Joe was sick because all we had to eat was rotten food. However, I warned him to stay away from it. Instead of listening to me, he fed out of starvation. That night, I cooed him by rubbing his back and humming him to sleep.
Out of spite, I ignore Assan and stay still.
He whimpers again, stirs, and then says, “Please,” in a hushed whisper.
Within myself, I battle if I should console him, but seeing his weak body in my lap is like watching a once-great leader fall from grace.
Slowly, I put my shaking hand on his backside, touching the coolness of his skin. Once the fear passes, I rub his back, tracing the pad of my fingers down the contours lining his flesh. Assan then moves closer to me, resting his head next to my abdomen.
“I’m here,” I coo, using my other hand to softly detangle his black tresses.
Looking at Assan’s insecure form fills me with dread. It’s horrid of me to console this man—this mercreature—that hurt Seidon. Then, images of the waterfall come to mind: the wave of water, Seidon’s fearful expression, and the conversation Assan had with Hass.
Don’t tell me you are developing feelings for her, Assan? The question haunts me. The answer is obvious, and yet, here I am, in a position with Assan I never imagined.
“Assan.” My voice is low.
Assan hums in response.
I stay steady and ask, “Do you . . . do you really care nothing for me?” I pause,” then again, even if you did, I do not know what it’s like to be cared for. Only one person has ever truly cared for me, and he’s gone.” I shut my eyes, trying to cut off the flow of tears. Daddy . . .
Salty tears stream down my cheeks, dripping onto Assan’s black locks. A groan rumbles from his throat, his eyes open, and he stretches to gaze up at me.
“And who is that?” He questions while moving his face in front of mine.
As I stare at him, his once styled hair is messy, and under his mismatched eyes are dark circles.
“ . . . my father,” I answer while holding back the sadness in my voice. Closing my eyes again, the emotions of all I’ve lost hit me as a cannonball striking a ship.
I shift my sight to the ground and let my tears freely flow. As the merprince glides closer to me, Assan uses his pointer finger to brush the tears from my face. Moving my gaze to his, his eyes bore into mine.
“Those who are supposed to love us can hurt us the most.” He cups my cheek in his hand, holding me gently. His expression is serene, caring. At this moment, it’s as if he understands my pain, of all the hurt my father has bestowed on me.
This behavior, this kindness towards me, throws me off guard. Assan gazes into my eyes, reading my wry expression.
“Assan, please,” I say desperately, averting my face from his sight, but he holds my cheek, preventing me from moving. “If you care nothing for me—"He cuts me off as he presses his lips against mine.
As the shock of his actions run through me, he increases the roughness of his kiss, sucking out the breath from my lungs. Using his other hand, he places his fingers on my neck and runs his digits down my skin, easing his way to my chest. As our lips mold and move with each other, I find myself unable to resist him. My heart thumps in my chest and my body goes weak to the prickle of his chill touch. Just for now, I return his affection, letting him guide my mouth with his as I bathe in feelings I shouldn’t have, with a merprince whose emotions I have yet to understand.