Chasing Rainbows

Emma thought that they turned a corner on that trip to his parents, they’d spent the previous night curled up together in bed, had become friends, but when they got back to the house he disappeared. No words, no questions and no explanations. For all the time she’d been part of this sham marriage she’d never felt as lonely as she did that night, punching the pillow in the spare room and trying to fall asleep.

The next morning when she woke Jacob had left a note on the dining table that he’d ‘gone out’. Emma refused to sit in alone, moping. So she got dressed and headed out into the sunshine, she was going to see more of this city, and screw Jacob Coren and all his hang ups, she had to live her life.

It was such a long time since she’d first travelled up Nob Hill in a tram with Jacob, the day when he tried to win her over, given a fantastic twenty four hours in town. Now at almost seven months pregnant, it was all a bit different. She was tired, walking for an hour was the most she managed, so she familiarised herself with a lot of coffee shops too.

As she was gathering her bags and heading for a taxi home, her phone rang. Praying it was Jacob she snatched at it and gave a desperate “hello?”

                “Ahhh Darrrllling!”

Clarence, her agent. She sighed, “hi Clarence, what’s news?”

He chuckled, “this sitcom drama in LA is desperado for you, I told them you were...” he stopped to a conspiratorial whisper, “...with child, and they’re happy to delay filming...if you’re successful of course. I am emailing you the small print as we speak. You’ll need to get to the main studios in Beverly Hills next week. Then there’s the publicity for the last project, Theo’s sent me a huge list of things he wants you to do. On email again, ok Cherie?”

She laughed, “great, thanks Clarence. I’ll be there.”

                “I know you will, and I bet you’ll be amazing!”

Back at home the house was still empty, it was a long time since they’d arrived back from his parents, and she was gutted that he was running away. Not waiting for him to return, she called his mobile and wasn’t exactly surprised to get his answer phone.

                “Jacob, you had better come home soon, I’m getting fed up with you and your avoidance behaviour. I WILL leave if you don’t take notice of this message. You really have to grow up, I need a husband and your baby needs a father. There’s no room for two children here.”

With that she hung up.

As she was making a cup of tea, the doorbell rang. Hoping that this was Jacob forgetting his keys, she tried to force her most pissed off face as she made for the door. Pulling back the hulk of wood, she was about to start berating Jacob for the last eighteen hours, when she froze, stood on the doorstep were Mr and Mrs Impeccable, Brian and Marion Coren.

                “What do you want?”

She couldn’t be falsely polite; these people had ruined her life. Before the fateful trip to their house they’d been getting on well. The best since Vegas arguably. Now these two stood in front of her, and she had no idea what they wanted.

                “We wanted to speak to Jacob.”

She sighed, “he’s not here, and I don’t know when he’ll be back. I’m not inviting you in; I am too tired for this. Can you come back later?”

Marion reached out and placed a hand on her forearm, “sorry Emma, we didn’t want to stress you out.”

                “A day too late for that, and to be honest, we have no gripe with each other, so this isn’t stressing me anymore.”

She needed every ounce of her acting expertise to not cry, such were her raging emotions.

                “Will you both come to dinner then, tonight?” They named a restaurant that she wasn’t familiar with, and she sighed, not sure of how Jacob would take the news.

Emma was in the bath when she heard the door open, with a sigh she pulled herself out of the warm supportive water and dressed in her robe, then made for the stairs. Jacob was stood in the hallway engrossed in a conversation on his phone, who was she to disturb that? In the kitchen she was drinking apple juice - her latest obsession, when he walked in behind her.

                “Are you going to speak to me?” She asked, after watching him move around the room getting himself a drink without acknowledging her.

Turning slowly he faced her, but still averted his eyes, not meeting her gaze.

                “I...err...”

                “I’ve had enough of this,” she stomped up to stand in front of him and when he turned his head away from her she reached to cup his head in her hands, forcing him to stare at her. “Will you bloody look at me?”

Slowly Jacob moved to look at her, “I can’t do this.”

                “Can’t do what? Talk to me? Last night I thought we were finally starting to get on, but now we’ve regressed to childishly ignoring each other. Is that how this plays out?”

He swallowed, she could see his throat move, “I’ve got a lot on my plate at the moment, ok?”

                “What and you’re the only one in this world, are you?” She let go of his face and stepped back, “I need you, I can’t do this alone. But if you still want to be a father, then you’ve got to get over this. Because if you carry on like this, then I’m heading home, and I’ll do this with my family and friends, because they won’t let me down.”

                “You can’t do that!” He lifted his eyes to stare at her.

                “I can, and I will. I’m telling you that now, with PLENTY of warning. So your parents are shit? You are an adult; you just have to get over it.” She walked across the room, stopping at the sink, gazing out the window, “I just don’t get all this crap that’s happened since.”

Jacob looked at the back of her, seeing the anger in her tense shoulders, and knew it was ridiculous, but he hated that she’d seen his vulnerability, that she’d seen him at his worst, his lowest ebb, and that his parents could still hurt him that way.

He sighed, this was all so difficult, and he didn’t know what to do, how to deal with this. Instead as he dithered the decision was taken away from him. She spun around and glared at him.

                “So you’ve nothing more to say? No come back?” She laughed, “this is where your parents are staying,” she tossed a business card down onto the kitchen table. “At least they seem to have seen the error of their ways, THEY want to make amends. They are expecting you for dinner, tonight.”

As he opened his mouth to speak she added quickly, “I will not be there, in fact, I’m getting ready to go back to LA, I’ve got a couple of auditions lined up.”

                “You’re more than seven months pregnant, you can’t audition!”

She laughed, “it’s not like I have to do anything strenuous, and anyway it’s as you keep reminding me, I need the money. I’ve hardly got any cash or security behind me, wasn’t that your biggest bargaining chip to force me to live here? And you? The BMX king, whizzing around town on a bike, so I know you’re not exactly flush. Beggars can’t be choosers and all that.”

It was like petrol to a flame, his anger and animosity flared in front of her, “we are not beggars, and I am more than capable of supporting you and our baby. And I bought a car! I picked you up from the airport in it. We drove to my parents in it!”

She rolled her eyes, “Jacob, you seem to live in a dream world, not that that’s the point. An old sports car? It’s a start I suppose, but a long way from a car that would fit the three of us in. I’m just saying, things aren’t perfect, and I’m bringing my bit to the table. After all this isn’t free rent on your grandmother’s house is it? If it comes back to bite you on the arse again, if your father manipulates again, then the three of us are out on our arses. And I can’t think about that.”

He sighed, “money is not an issue, I now own this house, and everything is good.”

She rolled her eyes, “whatever.” She’d had enough and she had to leave.

                “You don’t believe me?” He grabbed her arm, dragged her around to face him again, his eyes blazing with passion and anger.

Emma took a deep breath, “I don’t care. Not anymore. Childish tantrums, bravado comments, I’m past it all.”

Up in the spare bedroom she pulled on some underwear and her warm pyjamas, she had no intention doing anything else that night. She could hear Jacob moving around, talking into the phone downstairs, at eight pm it was too early to turn in for the night, though she was tired enough for that. The last thing she wanted was another argument, another confrontation, she was emotionally and physically tired, she didn’t need any more hassle. Slinking downstairs, she was glad to see the lounge empty, curling up under a blanket, she turned on a movie, then settled down.

Jacob had tried his best to avoid his parents, but he had to see them, if nothing else to ensure his father had fully agreed to the sale of the house. He still had the final say, and he had a feeling he’d make things difficult for him. He was that kind of man.

Changing into a suit, he came downstairs to see Emma on the sofa, she was already asleep, a huge part of him wanted to stay, make it good with her, but he had time for that. Tonight he was dealing with his parents, finally.

As usual his parents were in the best hotel in the city, and dinner was a black tie affair, they lived for pomp and ceremony. That was them. Walking into the restaurant he saw them, stood at the bar, and for the first time he saw them as they really were, two people who cared more about appearances than anything else. For the first time he spotted the tired lines around his mother’s eyes, the distance between them as they stood together, there was no closeness, not anymore. Being here, it was all about people seeing them, about being everything that was expected of them.

He didn’t want that for him and Emma, he didn’t want them to pretend; he wanted them to have it all, happiness, friendship and love.

He stopped halfway across the room and sighed, he loved her. That was like a bolt out of the blue. Up until now all he’d wanted was to keep her close, manage things, not lose her. But now he knew it was more than that. The thought of her leaving, the thought of being without her...

Suddenly this was the last place he wanted to be. He had to go back to Emma, had to tell her, had to make things good.

Jacob strode across the bar, to stand in front of his parents, “I’ve come here because you’ve asked, but I really need to be home, my wife...”

He felt a knot of emotion in his throat as he thought of her as he’d left her, curled up on the sofa, peaceful, her arms linked over her baby, their baby. His heart lurched in his chest.

                “Is everything ok? Is the baby?”

He nodded, “fine, I just need to be with her, not here trying to defend a relationship that failed years ago.”

His mother gasped, “Jacob! Please.”

He laughed, looking between the two of them for a moment, “I’ve never been good enough for you both, I’ve always under achieved, never done what you wanted me to do. I’m sorry that I’m not good enough.”

His father opened his mouth, but Jacob’s eyes silenced him, and he continued, “I’ve come to make sure you sell gran’s house to me, Andy’s been in touch with your lawyers all week. I want you to sell. You hear me? That is the house where my child is going to live.”

                “I was going to talk to you about that, I wanted to give it to you...to you both, and I want to refund the rent you paid. You need that for the baby.”

Jacob laughed out loud, “I don’t want it, and I don’t want any charity from you. Whilst you were chasing my dream, creating impossible scenarios for my future, I was carving my own. I sold a gaming concept last month in a deal that may ultimately be worth fifty million dollars. I’ve pocketed twelve already. So, thanks, but no thanks; I don’t need your handouts.”

With that he turned, and left.

The valet brought the car around, and he was never more glad that he’d driven. As he accelerated away from the hotel he sighed, Emma. That was all he could think of.

As he pulled to a stop at a set of lights, the desperation to get home to Emma almost making him jump the lights, he heard a tap on the window, and turning to the sound, he came nose to nose with the barrel of a gun.