Chasing Love (Dark Love Series)

We arrive at the ball at six on the dot.

The street is crowded, lined with limousines and luxury vehicles worth more than my apartment. Flashes are going off right, left, and center. The paparazzi are scurrying around like rats up a drainpipe snapping away at those who pose on the red carpet.

As we walk through the large doors, we’re blown away by the sight of it all. The grand ballroom is enormous. Its size big enough to hold all of the elite in New York City and then some.

The tall ceilings are covered in rows of draped sheer organza fabric, creating a medieval feel with a modern twist. A large chandelier hangs from the middle, its crystals reflecting the light which shimmers on the dance floor. Scattered across the room are artificial trees with the branches draped in fairy lights.

There’s a band wearing black and white tuxedos, perfectly positioned on the stage playing soft swing music, their hums and beats drowning in the noise of the growing crowd.

More and more people enter the room, their gowns becoming more exquisite as they strut into the area. I’m in heaven. One after another, I can name the designer in my head. I know Eric is doing it as well, his mannerisms are mirroring mine.

I spot the head organizer of the charity ball, Mrs. Clyde, almost immediately. She reminds me of Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. Only in her appearance, mind you, as she’s the sweetest lady you could possibly meet. Her generosity never ceases to amaze me, and all this is because of her.

“Oh-em-gee, you guys, this is amazeballs,” Eric murmurs in awe.

With his phone in hand, he takes a few pictures then busily begins typing away.

“What are you doing?”

“Just taking a pic of the ballroom. There’s a hash-tag charity ball trending.”

I grab the phone off him, placing it in my purse. Eric needs to enjoy the night without being glued to his phone. I can see the withdrawals already, his left eye twitching with a pouty immature look.

“Oh, c’mon, Charlie,” he whines.

“Uh-uh. I’m confiscating this from you tonight. You asked Emma out on a date, albeit fake, and you need to show her a good time.”

Emma laughs, looking gorgeous in a red gown Eric chose for her. Her platinum blonde hair is styled in an up-tight bun, showcasing a stunning diamond necklace draped around her neck.

Eric will only last five minutes before hijacking my purse as Emma kindly points out, and I agree. His sulking is short-lived, immediately snapping out of his childish tantrum as a hot young waiter stands in front of us offering champagne.

We take in the amazing view before we’re ushered to our table by a different waiter. We sit ourselves down as Julian places his arm around my chair, drawing me in closer. He smells fantastic.

“You look amazing tonight,” he whispers in my ear.

“Not so bad yourself, Batman. Are you going to abandon me tonight with some emergency that needs to be taken care of on the roof?”

“Unless it’s you up there naked, no chance in hell, gorgeous,” he teases, leaving a kiss on the side of my neck.

My body is shivering in delight, my mind wondering how I can get on the roof. Is there some secret exit? Damn, he looks fine in his tux. Tim Gunn knew his stuff.

Mrs. Clyde takes to the podium to begin her speech as the room starts to go quiet. She speaks about the cause and what we, as a society, can do to help the kids live a better life. We applaud her, then everyone gets up to start mingling as the music continues playing.

People are lost in diverse conversations. Occasionally, I’ll smile and nod, but my head feels like it’s buried in a cloud of fog. Two days and it is just getting worse, now I am questioning my sanity. Did that really happen? Did I run into Alexander Edwards after nine years? Or was it just a figment of my imagination? I’ve barely slept, running on an empty fuel tank which doesn’t mix well with champagne.

Taking a deep breath, I remember my promise to myself to have fun. Forget the past, enjoy the night with my fiancé. This event is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and shouldn’t be wasted on something I can’t control.

I’m standing with Julian, talking to Mrs. Bennett, who’s one of the committee members. Julian has his arm around my waist, talking passionately about a story he covered in a Hungarian orphanage. I can’t stop watching him as he speaks, his face showing compassion, a truly amazing man. Batman has nothing on him. He’s everything I want in a man, and I deserve someone like this.

Breaking me from my daydream, Eric and Emma come up behind me with champagne in hand.

“Charlie, have you seen the eye candy around here?” Emma says, scanning the area around us. “Lucky day to be single.”

Rocky and Nikki join us, arguing as usual. They turned up late, and after a quick hello all round, I question why both of them look annoyed. Rocky probably left the toilet seat up or something stupid like that.

“Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, what’s wrong now?”

“You remember that girl I dated in college when Nikki and I broke up that first semester?” Rocky speaks cautiously as Nikki stands there, arms crossed, tapping her foot.

“What do you mean, dated? You screwed her once behind the bleachers after you won that game against Princeton,” I point out, chuckling.

“Thank you,” Nikki blurts out.

Sometimes my memory is too clear. This time it works for me but usually it’s against me.

“Oh, well, gee, I thought we dated. Anyway, she’s here, and Miss Drama Queen over here has a problem with it.” He rolls his eyes, frustrated at his wife.

Nikki ignores him, jealousy looking extra special on her tonight as she wears a glamorous gold Versace gown.

“Aww, is Mrs. Romano jealous?” I mock, my expression changing from sympathy to utter annoyance. “Please, Nikki, you’re one hot piece of ass. You can run circles around these chicks. Plus, you’ll be the one tapping it tonight, not her.”

“Thank you!” Rocky rejoices.

The corner of Nikki’s mouth turns upward into a smile, prompting Rocky to lean in and whisper in her ear. She turns to face him, locking lips as his hands wander to her butt, grabbing it porno-style.

“Seriously, get a room. Or a bathroom cubicle. Or something.”

The moment I say it, they quickly walk off toward the exit. I wonder how she’ll get that dress off? Mental note to ask her later.

I can hear Emma and Eric whispering the words ‘big hands’ and ‘I wouldn’t kick him out of bed’ but they are quite audible. I start to laugh. Eric always keeps things entertaining. I’m so grateful to be surrounded by amazing friends and a very handsome fiancé who I plan to tie up Cat-Woman-style later tonight at his apartment.

“Ten o’clock, Charlie. Oh damn, he’s the shiz. Wow. Oh, crap, he saw me.” Eric drops his eyes toward his shoes, pretending to be talking about something else.

“Ten oh what, Eric?” I ask, confused.

Eric nods his head toward the left.

I look, hoping to get a glimpse of this so-called ten o’clock candy. My head takes a moment to catch up with what my eyes see.

Green emerald candy which belongs to the one and only Alexander Edwards.

My mouth falls open, eyes widening, unable to turn away. Like a bad car crash, only it’s the opposite, the most beautiful sight you could possibly imagine walking toward me.

Oh shit, he’s walking toward me.

With a sudden urge to run, escape, and hide, the realization of his presence cripples my ability to do anything besides standing there, frozen in place. There’s no way out of this.

“Charlotte, what a nice surprise to see you, again,” he greets, politely.

My legs are threatening to cave. Alex is dressed in a black tuxedo with a bow tie, and I’m trying to ignore everything about him, but he looks so perfect. His accent is unfamiliar yet equally as mesmerizing, and it matches the handsome man standing before me.

But this man, in all his perfect glory, is nothing but a stranger.

His eyes are shining bright emerald, his face lighting up with a smile flashing his perfectly straight white teeth. I try to think of something witty to say, hoping someone will rescue me. Eric and Emma remain quiet, their mouths wide open like fly-catchers in shock. These two are pathetic.

Julian stops talking to Mrs. Bennett, switching his attention to me, then Alex.

Fuck, okay. Get your shit together. This can go really bad. Or, if you play nice, go away real fast.

“Alex, this is Eric, my assistant, Emma, one of my colleagues, and Julian, my fiancé,” I rush, trying to push aside my nerves.

Why is he so calm and collected? I appear to be the only one panicked by this situation.

Julian extends his hand. “Lex Edwards, CEO of the Lexed Group?”

Lex? Why is he calling him Lex Edwards? How the hell does Julian know him? Tilting my head to the side, curiosity overshadows my anxiety.

“Yes, the last time I checked,” Alex answers, surprisingly shaking Julian’s hand.

“How do you and Charlie know each other?” Julian questions, taking his hand off my waist to hold my hand.

I can hear Eric’s voice in my head, hoping this is where they both slap their dicks out and start to measure them. Dirty bastard, and as the rascally grin forms on Eric’s smug face, so I know I’m dead right.

Alex stares at Julian, his face showing no emotion. Maybe I’m wrong about him. Just maybe he has matured and moved past what happened. Moved past us. What if he’s a happily married man with a family? Don’t get ahead of yourself, and where on earth did that pang of jealousy come from?

“We’ve known each other for what… fifteen years? Since we were kids. We dated in high school,” he answers with a cocky grin, knowing exactly what he’s doing.

Alex is signing the contract for the pissing contest that’s just about to start. Of course, he had to add that last bit. I’m not sure I’d call it dating, but more like fucking around behind his wife’s back. So, I take back what I said about him maturing. Just like old times Alex, except this time I’m not going to be the sad girl on the side. I’m a woman now, and no man treats me any less than what I deserve.

Now the nerves are overtaken by anger. If we weren’t in public, I’d have probably punched that beautiful face of his for talking to me like an arrogant bastard. Like the past was nothing. Like he didn’t leave me in the worst pain imaginable.

“I’ve written a couple of pieces on Lexed. You may have read the one published in the Wall Street Journal last year?” Julian speaks highly of his work, but what catches my attention is the fact that Alex is CEO of the Lexed Group.

Of course, I have heard of the company, I mean, who hasn’t? But I had no idea Alex had anything to do with it. What didn’t make sense is that he’s no longer in the medical field. My curiosity is getting the better of me. I want to know more, but I don’t want to have a conversation with him or even give him the satisfaction of thinking I’m interested.

“Ah, yes, quite an interesting article.”

“So, Alex, are you from New York? Your accent is very Hugh Grant. God, I loved him in Notting Hill. Anyway, love your Armani suit,” Eric rambles on.

For God’s sake, Eric’s obsession with older British men is borderline creepy. Hugh Grant? I know what Eric is trying to do, though. He has that mischievous look on his face, the one he has every time he’s trying to get me laid. But Batman’s fucking me, I want to yell at him.

“Actually, it’s Lex. Not Alex,” he corrects Eric, never breaking my gaze.

Pretentious bastard.

Fine, if he wants to play that game, I’ll treat him like we have no past. Therefore, Alex no longer exists. It will be Lex, just like he wants it.

He continues, “I live in London. Our Manhattan office is currently being remodeled, so I’m planning to stay here for a while.”

So, he lives in London, totally explains the hot accent. The distance is somewhat comforting, but then he said he’ll be in Manhattan more often. The city isn’t that big, not when your ex is suddenly lurking around every damn corner.

Again, the cogs are turning, and I think to myself, why London? I need to stop asking myself these questions. I don’t need to know anything about him. He shouldn’t be in my life in the first place. Period.

“And thank you, my sister chose the suit. She lives and breathes fashion. I’ll introduce you later.”

“Adriana is here?” I ask, nervously.

I haven’t seen her since the day when she asked me to leave her family alone, in the middle of a busy street, and straight-out called me a whore. The past is quickly coming back to me like a freight train, and I don’t know what to do.

Scanning the room, I don’t see Adriana anywhere.

Surely, Alex has to know how uncomfortable all this is for me.

“Somewhere floating around with Elijah.”

“Her and Elijah are still together?”

I don’t know why I asked or why I’m surprised. Those two were destined to be together, but then again, I thought that about Alex, I mean Lex and me, once upon a time.

“Yes, they’re still together. I don’t think anyone else could put up with her. They live in Brooklyn. Adriana owns a boutique store downtown.”

The music softens as the MC announces dinner is about to be served. People start walking back to their tables, and as I follow Julian, Eric, and Emma, Alex’s hand wraps around my arm. Reluctantly, I turn around slowly.

Avoid his scent.

And avoid his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, I wait on edge for his words, knowing that whatever comes out of his beautiful mouth, will turn my world upside down. Leaning closer into me, I force my eyes to remain open.

“You look breathtaking, Charlotte,” he whispers in my ear before walking away.

Somehow, I manage to walk toward the table without my legs giving way or gushing all over the floor. I’m annoyed at myself for even thinking of him that way.

Breathe, pull yourself together, and remember whose ring is weighing down your left hand.

“Are you okay, gorgeous?” Julian runs his finger down my cheek, staring at me lovingly.

“I will be soon.” I smile, eyeing the waiters walking toward us. “Champagne and no food are a lethal combination.”

We chat as we eat our meals, and thankfully, Julian doesn’t bring up my history with Lex. Everyone is impatiently waiting for the guest singer to appear later in the evening. I look at my plate, a sudden loss of appetite as I close my eyes, his words echoing in my mind. You look breathtaking, Charlotte. I still can’t believe he’s here, not to mention Adriana. I’ll bet all the money in my checking account, she’s still angry with me. What will I say to her?

A cold gush of air sweeps across my skin, causing me to break out into goosebumps like I’m being watched. Alex, sorry Lex, can be sitting anywhere in this room, and wherever that may be, his stare will be boring into me and questioning me in a million and one ways of why I’m engaged to Julian without opening his mouth.

“So that’s him?” Nikki whispers in my ear.

She’s sitting on my right, Julian on my left. Thank God, Eric is telling some ridiculous and probably inappropriate story, which has Julian’s full attention.

“Yes, it is.”

“In a million years. What a coincidence. Okay, for the record, he acts like an arrogant prick. But damn, Charlie… hello, Momma. He must be huge. Is he?”

“Oh, geez.” I laugh, welcoming her shallow question. “Eric is so rubbing off on you.”

Nikki rubs my shoulder, knowing how tense I am and offers a sympathetic smile.

After the next course is served, and people finish their meals, the clusters of groups start forming again. The dance floor is filling up with the band playing ‘The Way You Look Tonight.’ Classic Frank, classic New York.

“Babe, let’s show these rich folks how it’s done.” Rocky takes Nikki’s hand as she follows him onto the dance floor.

Eric and Emma have already left the table. I can see them across the room hovering around Sarah Jessica Parker. How predictable, I think. If I know Eric, he will bombard her about Sex and the City questions like ‘who was the biggest bitch on set’ or ‘why did she agree to wear those knee-high socks with heels.’

“Penny for your thoughts?” Julian asks, placing his hand on mine. “You’re quiet.”

I lean over and gaze into his warm hazel eyes. It isn’t fair to him, this whole Lex thing, except there’s nothing going on but in my crazy imagination.

“I’m just thinking how nice it would be to have you all to myself on the dance floor.”

“Well, gorgeous, you’ll be happy to know I’m thinking the same thing.” He grins.

Julian stands, and like the true gentleman he is, he holds out his hand as I place mine in his.

“Gorgeous, do you know how happy you make me?”

“Mmm… the same as how happy you make me?” I smile, allowing his loving gaze to consume me.

His face relaxes like he’s been waiting all night to hear those words. “I like hearing you call me your fiancé.”

“I could’ve introduced you as my partner, but that sounds like we’re lesbian lovers or something.”

“I won’t object to eating you out all the time,” he teases.

“Neither would I.”

I’ve always loved the banter between us, never taking our relationship too seriously. It’s one of the best things about our relationship—the butterflies over such simple conversation, except tonight, my happy butterflies are battling, or more like knocking the living shit out of the nauseous ones. I’m not doing anything wrong, so why do I feel so guilty?

We laugh as we dance, his body against mine. I close my eyes, enjoying this moment of bliss. Make this work, Charlie, I keep chanting in my head. I deserve someone who will love me and only me.

“Mind if I cut in? For old time’s sake?”

The blood drains from my body as he speaks the words. It’s one thing to talk to him but another to be in close physical contact.

Julian narrows his eyes with a pinched expression, but being the gentleman he is, he quickly kisses my cheek and tells me he will be over by the bar. Lex grabs my hand without consideration for Julian leaving and places the other on my hip. The tightness in my chest causes my smile to waver. The sheer touch of him is causing a massive meltdown inside. He smells just like I remember—home.

Careful not to close my eyes, I refuse to go back to that place. What was once a meadow filled with love, promises, and sunshine has become a dungeon torturing me with pain. Nine years of trying to escape him, and now, he’s holding onto me on the dance floor as if nothing ever happened between us.

I dance quietly, the band singing ‘How Deep Is Your Love’ by the Bee Gees. Trying to focus on anything besides him, the lyrics sound in my head, making the moment more intense than it should be. The band needs to switch it up, play some heavy metal rather than a song about belonging to each other.

“Charlotte, you really do look beautiful. Your favorite color, I see.”

I still remember when I told him emerald was my favorite color on the dance floor at prom night. This is déjà vu, only this time without the happy ending in the classroom. The memories, all of which have been bottled up, begin to leak painfully slow.

Pulling away, slightly, to distance myself from him, I stare him right in the eye. “What do you want, Lex?”

“I see you at the restaurant, and you ran from me. I run into you again, and you avoid me. Can’t two long-lost friends catch up after nine years?”

“Why do you keep saying we were friends? Because from memory, you upped and left. Friends don’t do that.”

“But we are, or should I say were? According to you, it was just a fling. It meant nothing,” he deadpans.

He has me there. I was kidding myself by saying that, but I wanted more than anything for him to believe it. Why should he have the satisfaction of knowing how much pain he put me through? The jerk ruined my life. And I’ve spent a long time trying to fix what he so easily broke.

I quickly change the subject. Now isn’t the time nor the place to dig up old memories, and I don’t want Julian staring at us, wondering why my face looks ready to attack.

“Why are you here, anyway?”

“One reason… Adriana. She drags me to these things and makes me donate a shitload of money.”

“So, you’re no longer practicing medicine?”

“There’s so much we need to talk about, Charlotte. I don’t think the dance floor at this charity ball is the place. Meet me for a drink tonight and we can talk properly then.”

He sounds so controlling. I mean, he always had that trait, but now I look at him differently. The weak man who chose his wife over me, instead of fighting for what he claimed he always wanted. I ignore his comment, avoiding being alone with him at all costs.

“How long have you and Julian been together?”

And there it is.

I’ve been waiting for him to bring up Julian.

The anger takes over again, ruining the moment. “Why, Lex? Does it matter? What about you? I’m guessing you’re no longer with Samantha since you hooked up with another blonde.”

I can feel the temperature in the room rise, or maybe it’s just me.

“Calm down, Charlotte. Samantha and I are no longer married, and Adriana set me up with Brooke for tonight only.”

This feeling of jealousy is an emotion I’m no longer accustomed to. I have no right questioning his personal relationships like he has no right questioning mine.

“Why do you ask?” A smirk widens across his face. “Are you jealous?”

Some nerve. Thankfully, the band stops playing, and the crowd ceases dancing to applaud them. Releasing my hand from his grip, I take the opportunity to say goodbye. “Thank you for the dance, Lex.”

Walking away, I leave him alone on the dance floor, spotting Rocky and Nikki standing by our table. I need my friends to drag me kicking and screaming into the present. These flashbacks are getting the better of me, and I know it’s a vicious cycle to fall into.

“Some dance partner you got there, Charlie.” Rocky snickers.

“Who Ale… I mean Lex?”

“Uh, yeah, Lex Edwards. Billionaire CEO. Mr. Playboy. You might be his first brunette.”

“How do you know all this?”

“Charlie, he’s always in the social section, you know… who he’s dating, what he’s wearing.”

“Hold up. You read the social section?” I question, trying to hold in my laughter.

“Yes, but if it makes you feel any better, he’s not seeing anyone now.”

Surprisingly, it does make me feel better, but I quickly swallow the feeling. Why do I even care?

“Can I have my girl back?” Julian’s arms wrap around my waist. He rests his head on my shoulder, holding onto me tight, kissing the side of my neck. I wrap my arm behind his head, welcoming his touch with a loving smile.

But inside, the wall I built up many years ago has begun to crack.

And across the room Lex’s eyes find mine, his gaze stripping me bare. His lips are pulled back, baring his teeth with a vehement expression.

With every ounce of strength I have within me, I turn away, moving my body so I’m face to face with Julian.

This is the man I’m going to marry.

This is the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

I tilt my head, moving my lips toward Julian as I desperately kiss him whole. As we both pull away, I gaze into his caring eyes and remind myself of who I love.

But my heart falls silent, the silence screaming of my weakness.

And just like that, Lex’s voice lingers in my ear, tearing down the wall of its last pillar of strength.