CHAOS (Beneath The Secrets Book 1)

My heartbeat sounds like the loudest speakers as it thumps in my ears.

Jesus, my head hurts. I try to crack my eyes open, but the brightness sends lightning bolts straight into my brain. Squeezing them shut, I roll over and nestle against Sofia’s side.

I must have really gotten fucked up. Even my dick is soft as my belly rolls through waves of nausea.

It’s impossible to fight the groan as the room spins behind my eyes.

She shifts against me, turning onto her back.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m just not feeling right,” I murmur against her smooth shoulder.

“It’s okay. You wore yourself out last night,” she purrs.

Wait.

My eyes fly open. Squinting, I take in the blonde hair of the woman who served me a drink last night.

Shoving myself away from her, I fall out of the double bed in what looks like a hotel room.

“Who the fuck are you?” I scream.

She sits up, not even trying to hide her bare breasts as she throws her head back and laughs. “Oh, Jaxxie, you don’t remember all the fun we had? They call you ‘King’ for a reason.” Her palm reaches down and flattens the ruffled sheets. “Come back to bed, lover. I’m not done with you.”

I catch a glimpse of my boots on the floor. And my pants.

I’m buck ass naked.

“No, no, no. This can’t be happening.” Bending over, I gather my shit as fast as I can.

“But, it did, baby. Might as well enjoy yourself.” She crawls towards me on the mattress, her bare ass sticking up into the air. “Want one more round before you go, champ?”

I think I’m going to be sick.

With my clothes in a bunch in front of my groin, I run to the door and frantically undo the latch.

Stumbling out into a musty hall covered in garish geometric patterns, it takes me a second to get my bearings.

I’m not on a ground floor. I need to get downstairs.

Running until I find a set of elevators, I jab the button as fast as I can, hoping that makes it go faster. How do I not remember any of this? What the fuck am I doing? Sofia and I were talking about getting married last night.

I ruin everything.

Shit. I need to get my pants on. Dropping everything, I dig through the pile and grab my jeans. The elevator dings just as I get my first leg in the hole.

As the doors open, I have one foot in, one foot out, and freeze.

“Jax?” Nikolai’s deep voice resonates out. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Alexei starts cackling next to him.

“Alexei? Where were you? I tried to text you…” Where’s my phone?

“Sorry, no missed messages from you, man. Did ya get some? Does that mean Sofia is single?” Alexei leans against the wall, watching me with an amused expression.

“Like hell it does!” I can feel the rage surging within me. The need to hit something is becoming overwhelming. Swinging wildly at him, he steps back nimbly as I fall to the floor, my feet tangled in my clothes.

Nikolai takes two giant strides before planting his boot squarely on my neck, pinning me down. “Stop. You did this, not him. What is wrong with you?” His accent is almost as heavy as his weight crushing my throat.

I’m tempted to fight back. But he’s right.

I did do this.

My own chaos screwed it all up.

Nikolai lowers his scowling face down over his knee. “Are you done, durak?”

I let my arms fall limp. “Yeah. I am a fool.”

“A naked one. Your little peepee getting you in trouble?” Alexei points to my dick with the sucker he pulls from his mouth. “If you had a real one—” He grabs his crotch. “—you would not be dipping it all over Vegas trying to grow it like a wax candle.”

I’m too groggy for this. “A what?” I ask him as I struggle to pull my pants on.

He squats down next to me and turns his lollipop upside down, bobbing in through the air. “You know, dip a wick, watch it grow. Layer on layer.” He tips his head and his nose wrinkles. “Maybe it won’t work on you. Too many layers makes your shit burn.”

My whole life is an inferno. It wouldn’t surprise me if I get some sort of bug that makes it hurt to piss.

I’d deserve it.

There’s a knot in my throat, and it isn’t from Nikolai’s boot.

I’m going to lose Sofia. She’s going to hate me. And she should. I had everything I ever wanted and in one night, that I can’t even remember, I’ve destroyed it.

Pushing my head out of my tee shirt, I’m met by a stinging slap against the back of my skull.

Nikolai glares at me. “You have a good woman. Do you know what I would give to have my wife back? And, you just run off and find some whore the second you get your little girly panties in a bunch? Come on.” He turns on his heel and stomps back into the elevator. That’s not what happened. I’d never go looking for another woman. I love Sofia. What the fuck did I do?

Why the fuck can’t I remember a damn thing?

Alexei gives me a push, then follows me in.

“What do I do now?” I whisper. My mind is still foggy, my stomach is twisting, and my heart is shattering into a million pieces.

Nikolai folds his thick arms across his chest, and his blue eyes pierce into me. “You talk to her.”

Hitting my head against the mirror, I’ve done exactly what I thought I would: proved I am a piece of shit, not worthy of anyone’s love. This is going to wreck her, but I’ll make sure I destroy myself as punishment.

She deserves better. No one needs a fucking train-wreck like me in their life.

“You said you don’t remember? Maybe someone slipped you something?” Alexei says, tapping his chin.

I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. It doesn’t matter what the hell happened. I betrayed her in the worst possible way. Excuses don’t matter.

I fucked up, and now I have to face the consequences.