CHAOS (Beneath The Secrets Book 1)

Song- Hypnosis, Sleep Token.

Outside our house, I turn off the engine and tilt my head, trying to see into the darkness through the rearview mirror. I can hear the rumbling of bikes nearby, but there are no lights to be seen. After what happened at Jax’s fight, I’m not stupid. I know there could be repercussions here. Especially knowing Brody is involved.

We ran out of milk again, so while Jax was bathing Maeve, I rushed out to buy some. Now I’m thinking that maybe he should go in the future.

I dial Jax’s number and he answers on the first ring, calming my anxiety.

“Hey, sweetheart. I heard you pull up. What’s up?”

Maeve is babbling at him in the background.

“I might be wrong, but I think I can hear bikes.” I swear I sound ridiculous. Maybe I’m paranoid. But Brody’s words have been ringing in my head since. It felt like a threat to me.

“Just stay in the car, keep it locked. I’ll put Maeve in her crib, it’s probably nothing,” he says calmly.

Maeve’s cries echo through the phone, making me pinch the bridge of my nose. God, I’m being pathetic.

As the door opens, I spot Jax and I can feel a smile spread across my face. But my joy quickly fades as I catch a glimpse of the glinting silver gun in his right hand.

Maybe I’m not over-reacting.

I snatch up the carton of milk, my hand shaking as I click the unlock button. Jax opens up the door for me, but his eyes are focused at the entrance of our driveway.

“I-is everything okay?” There’s a tremor in my voice.

With a sharp nod, he helps me out and steps behind me, putting himself between me and the road.

With a sense of urgency, he grabs my arm and pulls me inside, swiftly locking the deadbolt behind us.

“I’ll go settle Maeve,” I whisper, stopping halfway up the stairs when I hear his harsh Russian words to whoever he called.

My heart is pounding so hard that my whole body trembles as I scoop up Maeve and hold her close to my chest.

As I sway her in my arms, the floor creaks behind me, and I spin around to see Jax. He leans against the door frame, relaxed, holding Maeve’s bottle in his tattooed hand.

“Here you go, baby girl.”

Maeve playfully grabs the milk from him. He positions himself in front of us, and we lock eyes, sharing a tender smile. He gently strokes my cheek.

“It’s fine, sweetheart. I promise you.”

I can hear the pleading in his tone. I trust him to protect us.

Leaning into his touch, I press my cheek against his palm. “I know. We can talk in a minute, Jax. I think this one needs a story from Daddy before she goes to sleep,” I say with a grin.

If this is how it’s going to be, I need Maeve protected, always. I’m sure he knows that. He probably already has taken care of that.

After giving Maeve one last kiss goodnight, my stress seems to settle as I watch her snuggle into her dad’s chest.

They’ve built such an amazing bond after a short period. It’s beautiful to watch them together. It’s like she knows she’s safe with him.

I wait on the balcony until Jax quietly closes the door behind him. I can hear her giggling to herself in her bed. He wraps his muscular arm around my shoulders and pulls me against him. I close my eyes as he presses a kiss to the top of my head.

“Are you okay, tigritsa?” he whispers.

“I am. I could use a glass of wine, though.”

He chuckles softly, his warm hand lacing through mine as we make our way downstairs to the kitchen. I prop myself up on a barstool and watch him as he taps his rings against the counter while he pours us each a glass. He’s hiding something.

I know that because he’s clicking that tongue bar against his front teeth like crazy.

“Spill it,” I say.

His eyes snap up. “Spill what?” he replies, biting down on his bottom lip.

“Whatever is eating you, just say it.” I take a large sip of the wine as he runs a hand through his curls.

“I’ve upped security on the house. From now on, you’ll have either me or one of our men with you at all times.”

“Fine with me.”

Witnessing the shock on his handsome face, I can’t contain my laughter. “What?”

His brows furrow. “I don’t know. I kinda assumed you’d be pissed or be thinking about leaving.”

I shake my head and place my hand over his to stop the tapping. “If that’s what you think is best for us, I’m not going to argue. You know what you’re doing, I don’t. I want Maeve safe, that’s all I ask.”

He lifts my fingers to his lips, softly touching them to my knuckles. “Always, baby.”

“And you, Jax Carter. I need you safe, too, please.”

“You got it, sweetheart.” He winks at me and finishes off his glass.

He moves around the table, tugging my hand with him.

“What do you say, early night?”

As he flashes me his best lopsided grin, I savor the last drop of wine before letting him lead me upstairs. We brush our teeth at our his and hers sinks, laughing as we keep making eye contact in the mirror.

He pulls back the blanket for me and taps my side of the bed. I can’t take my eyes off of his naked body.

I take off my top and slip beneath the sheets, snuggling up to him. My leg drapes across his body, and I rest my head on his shoulder.

Even just in silence, wrapped up in his arms, everything in the world seems okay. We have our little girl asleep across the hall.

“Do you ever see yourself having more kids?” he asks, stroking his fingers through my hair.

“I think Maeve would love a brother or sister.” I think Jax would love a boy. God, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

“Would you get married again?”

I laugh. “What is this, twenty questions?”

His deep breath makes my cheek rise and fall. “Maybe. I just want to know where your brain is, Sof.”

I trace the tattoos on his chest with my nail as I contemplate my answer. Although swearing I’d never, ever, get married again after what Brody did, I think Jax may be different. He’s special. For him, I would.

“To the right guy, I can be persuaded,” I tease.

He pulls my head up by my hair to look into my eyes. “Me?”

“Keep treating me and Maeve like you do, then yeah, I’d marry you, Mr. Carter. One day,” I reply with a grin.

“Is that right?” His soft chocolate eyes almost look surprised.

“And what do you want out of life, Jax?”

“To wake up with my wife in my arms, being prodded by our kids.”

Kids. As in multiple. My eyes go wide. “How many?”

“Three?” His reply is almost instant.

“What else?” I think he’s been mulling this over for a while.

“I’d be back at professional boxing, not that shitty underground stuff. Doing bigger jobs for Mikhail, but enough I get to be home for the people who matter.” He lies back, with his hands behind his head, and I push myself up using his chest.

“Maybe a dog? A vacation home. I don’t know, is that too much to ask for? Just to be happy,” he continues.

“Are you? Happy, I mean?” Staring at him, I try to find any hint that this is a joke.

His lips are firm and his jaw clenches. “Yes. For the first time in what fucking feels like forever, I can honestly say my answer is yes. All because of you, sweetheart.”

Tears threaten to spill. I feel the same. I know this man is it for me.

“Now, I seem to have heard that you might, one day, want to be Mrs. Carter?”

I can’t stop the giggles that erupt when he rolls me onto my back and pins my wrists above my head. His thick thighs nudge mine open as he settles over me.

“You know, I used to dream of this when I was cooped up after having Maeve. That somehow you’d barrel into my life and save me. That she would have her daddy. That I’d find the man who stole my heart and made me her mom. I never thought it would be possible. Hell, even when you did show up, I worried you’d hate me for ruining your life.” Chewing on my lip, I wait for his response.

“You made it, baby. You gave me everything I never even realized was possible. You have no idea what kind of hole you dragged my sorry ass from.” His warm palm runs up and down along my side.

I wiggle my hips, feeling his dick harden against me.

“I want to see you pregnant with my baby. Fuck, that’ll be so hot. You think I’m obsessed with you now? Just wait.” He keeps my wrists in one hand and grabs my thigh with the other.

“Well, that sounds good.” I smooth a lock of his curly hair and watch his eyes actually light up.

“But I was miserable when I was fat and pregnant. I hated it. I felt so sick, so ugly and useless.” My bottom lip juts out in a pout.

“I wish I was there,” he says softly. He casts his eyes down. For that split second, I feel his pain and I hate that for him.

“We can’t change that, but we’re here now. And maybe we can do it again. You can experience all those night feedings, too. It’s a ball.”

“That sounds like exactly what I want,” he whispers against my lips before kissing me.