CHAOS (Beneath The Secrets Book 1)

I may have spent a lot of his money, although most of it was on new sneakers for Jax and clothes for Maeve. I did, however, buy an outfit for his fight tonight. With a pair of dream shoes. I’m hoping it is enough to earn my reward. The first thing I did, before I even went shopping, was pay for the enrollment tuition for the next semester. Once I graduate, I’ll be paying him back every dollar. Contrary to what Anna may think, he isn’t my walking bank account, and I don’t want it. But, it is nice, for once, to be taken care of and not have to panic about being able to afford everything for Maeve. For the first time in years, I can actually think about myself for once.

Yes, I’m a mom. But, it’s felt like since her birth, that’s all I am. I know I’m much more. I love that little girl. I love being her mother. Finding Jax has meant I can claw a bit of myself back.

Laying out my new outfit, I look down at a pair of leather jeans and a lace bodysuit to match my new Louis.

I may have searched for an underground fight on the internet and, after seeing some of the grisly pictures, I’m petrified. For Jax, more than anything. No rules. Just two men beating the shit out of each other. I don’t know if I can watch. He wants me there, so I will be there for him.

The door slams shut and loud male voices carry up the stairs. Jax was dropping Maeve at Nikolai’s with his sitter, which in itself is giving me anxiety. But if Jax trusts him, so do I.

Heavy footsteps pace up the stairs and my heart races. I’ve steamed and pressed his shorts and his outfit is out on the bed, with the new high tops I bought him.

“Hi, baby,” he growls as he enters the room.

I spin to face him. He has that boyish grin on his lips as he stalks towards me and lifts me into his arms.

“Everyone is waiting downstairs to meet you,” he whispers in my ear.

I met them briefly when I was waitressing, but this is different. They know I mean something to him.

“Who is ‘everyone’?” My lips purse in doubt.

“Nikolai, Alexei, and Lara.”

“Lara?” That provides me some relief, another woman to talk to rather than two scary looking Russians.

“Nikolai’s sister. She’s fun. You’ll probably get along.”

“Fun?” I raise a brow at him.

“She has a dry sense of humor like Nik. That’s what I mean. So, put the claws away. I’m yours.”

He sets me down on my feet. My hands thread beneath the thin fabric of his shirt and rest them on his hard chest.

“I’m not jealous. I was just wondering what you meant by that. Like wild or just a sense of humor.” I bite down on my lip and bat my lashes at him. Pulling on his silver chain, I yank him down to me and kiss him.

“Mmm, more,” he grumbles, capturing my lips again.

“I need to get ready.” I nod towards our clothes on the bed.

He glances over and his eyes narrow. “You didn’t spend enough today, and buying me stuff does not count.”

“I tried, okay? Look at my shoes. They’re more expensive than my rent!”

“Put them on for me.”

He pushes the robe from my shoulders and it pools onto the floor, leaving me in just my new red panties and matching garter belt.

“Holy fuck, Sof.” His finger slides under the thin strap to my thigh. “How am I supposed to concentrate knowing you’re wearing that for me?”

“The soles of my shoes match my panties.” I lick my bottom lip, backing away from him, and open the heels out of the fancy box.

I bend over and put the first one on facing away from him.

As I slowly stand and turn back to him, he’s running a hand across his face.

“Wow. Look at you, tigritsa. Good enough to eat.”

“You think?” I spin to give him a full show. The way he looks at me makes me feel truly beautiful. Something else I’d lost after giving birth.

It’s like Jax is slowly rebuilding parts of me I hadn’t even realized had tumbled away.

“Stunning. Perfect. Fuck, I’m a lucky man.” He closes the distance, his rough hands gripping my hips.

“Are you nervous?” I ask.

He grins. “No, baby. I love fighting. It helps me.”

My fingers stroke along his cheek. “Helps you? With what?”

“Just dealing with stuff.” He stops and clears his throat. “When I’m in the ring, I forget everything.”

“Oh, Jax. I had no idea. Do you want to talk about it?” My hands still, framing his jaw so he looks at me.

He stiffens, so I press a soft kiss on his neck. I don’t want to push him, especially not before his fight.

Maybe changing the subject is a better idea. “Hey, we need to get ready. I wanna see my man win tonight. How are we celebrating?”

“By fucking on every single surface in this house, sweetheart.”

“You better be victorious, then.”

He leans down, running his tongue along my jaw. “Just make sure you don’t leave Nikolai and Alexei’s side tonight, okay? I can’t be distracted in there.”

“I promise.”

“That’s my good girl,” he taps my bare ass, making my pussy ache for him.

He looks past me to the bed and cups my cheeks. “You got my stuff ready for me?”

I nod.

Call it instinct, I bet no one has really looked after him. I want to be that person.

“You didn’t have to do that, sweetheart. I’m here to take care of you.”

He presses a soft kiss to my nose, and emotions swirl in my chest.

“Hey, we’re here for each other, Jax. Let me do this.”

I’m at home here. We’re building a family. With every day that goes by, Jax owns a little bit more of my heart. He’s sweet, and he wants to protect me and Maeve.

As my new heels click on the wooden floor, he spins to face me, and leans against the wall, which shows his bulging muscles. He bites down on his knuckle.

“Damn, baby. You’re the knockout here tonight.”

I giggle, feeling the heat of the blush on my cheeks.

He holds his hand to me and I take it, feeling that spark shoot through me as I do.

Nerves pit in my stomach as he leads me down the stairs, where the strong Russian accents are filling the room.

They all stop and turn as we walk into the kitchen. The big one doesn’t change his neutral expression, but the other man does, revealing his silver tooth and the pretty girl next to him, with long straight blonde locks. They both smile at me.

“Guys, this is my girl, Sofia,” Jax announces.

“Ah, the girl who turned Mr. Chaos down changed her mind.”

“Alexei.” The big one scolds him. Jax laughs as he places his arm on my shoulder, pulling me against his side.

“What? Our boy Jax loves the chase.” Alexei winks at him. Heat rises into my cheeks.

“They have no idea,” Jax whispers in my ear, and that only makes me blush harder.

The blonde woman steps forward after slapping Alexei in the back of the head.

“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Lara.” She extends her perfectly manicured hand, covered in diamond rings.

Shit. Is she some sort of Russian royalty?

Awkwardly, I extend my arm and grasp her palm. She bursts out laughing, pulling me in for a hug. “Ignore those asshats. Just stick with me. You’ll be fine.”

God, is it obvious I’m so nervous?

“Thank you,” I whisper back, as she pulls away with a smile.

“Hey, you didn’t give me a hug today.” Alexei fakes a pout towards Lara. Nikolai glares at him.

I can’t help but laugh at their interaction.

“Don’t pout, sladkiy. It’s not a good look on you,” she replies in her thick Russian accent.

I almost jump when Nikolai claps his hands together, announcing our departure.

“We’re going in the Lambo. You guys can park next to me when we get there,” Jax says. He laces his fingers through mine and squeezes.

Alexei storms forward, and Lara drags him to a swift stop by grabbing onto his shirt.

“Keys. I’m driving,” she says, holding out her hand.