Built to Fall: Chapter 34
SOMEHOW, we’d made it to our last stop of the tour. Nearly two months had gone by since I’d staggered onto Dominic Cantrell’s plane. Annaliese had joked about me coming home a different woman, and I felt different. Somewhere along the way, I’d found my confidence again, and my youth. Life didn’t have to be serious or about achieving goals. It was too short not to be enjoyed.
I had enjoyed the hell out of my life over the last two months. Dominic had been the centerpiece of that, sure, but it wasn’t all about him. Marta was never getting rid of me. The Seasons Change had a fan for life. Rodrigo was the brother I’d never had, nor wanted, but I loved him more than I thought possible. Tomorrow night was the last show, then we’d be packing up and heading home.
So, it was natural for me to be sad this was all coming to an end. Even if I saw them again—and I really thought I would—we’d never be able to recapture this exact magic. The Seasons Change were going to blow up and join the big leagues any second, and…well, Dominic and I were parting ways for good.
Marta slapped me on the shoulder. “No frownies, kidlet. I disapprove.”
“But I’m sad. I’m not allowed to be sad?” I stuck out my bottom lip so she’d take pity on me.
“Save it for when you go home. Tonight is about drinking with friends and making really stupid memories that’ll make you giggle every time you think back on them.”
“Fine. That actually does sound better than moping around here.” Even though here was a stunning penthouse in Chicago with views of Lake Michigan from the walls of windows spanning the length of the condo.
“The old man still has no plans of joining us, right?” Marta asked, referring to Dominic.
“No, he’s staying home to putter. You know how the olds like to putter.”
She snorted so loud, we both froze, eyes wide, then fell into a fit of giggles.
“No you didn’t, girl. He will murder you,” she said through laughter.
Once we straightened ourselves out, I went to find my old man, who had just gotten back from working out in the building’s gym.
Dominic was pulling on a pair of jeans when I walked into the bedroom. My stomach clenched both from how unfairly handsome he was and how much I already missed him. After he told me about Dylan, I’d half expected him to pull away, but instead, he’d held me even closer.
Ending things wasn’t my choice anymore. If I could keep this man I’d fallen for so wholly, I would. But he made it clear again and again our time was finite, and I had to believe him, even though it felt like he never planned on letting me go either.
“Hi.” I paused at the door. “Can I come in?”
He crossed the hardwood floor to where I stood, slipped his hand around my waist, and tugged me inside. “I always want you where I am. That shouldn’t be a question at this point.”
“You never want to be alone?”
A line formed in the center of his forehead as his eyebrows pressed inward. “I want to be alone with you.”
I snorted a laugh. “That’s not alone.”
“If I have the choice between stewing in my own thoughts and spending every waking second with you, it’s going to be you every single time.”
“Whoa.” My heart flipped and lodged in the back of my throat. “That was incredibly sweet.”
He shrugged like he hadn’t said something big. “It’s just the truth.” He dipped his head to nibble on my neck. “Can I watch you get ready?”
“Only if you promise not to derail me by luring me into bed.”
Marta and I were going out with The Seasons Change to Adam’s favorite dive bar. He’d grown up in Chicago, so some of his friends were coming out too. I’d invited Dominic, but to my surprise, he declined. Then he reminded me he was Dominic Cantrell and couldn’t just hang out at dive bars at this stage in his life. He didn’t really blend, and neither did his two brick-wall bodyguards.
Dominic sat in the bathroom, talking to me while I took a shower. When I told him how amazing the acoustics were, he took the hint and sang a few songs. I hadn’t taken enough advantage of having my own rock star at my beck and call, and now, it was almost too late.
Wrapped in a towel, I searched through my clothes and picked a dress. I tossed it on the bed, and Dominic picked it up, sliding the fabric between his fingers.
“I like this one,” he murmured.
“You haven’t even seen me in it.”
“But I can tell how good you’ll feel wearing it.” He cocked his head, raking his eyes over me. “Wear something else.”
I tugged his beard. “Not a chance in the world.”
A half-smile ruined his attempt at being stern. “I didn’t think so. You’ll just have to let me get my hands all over you before you go. And after.”
“Always.”
If always meant the next forty-eight hours…
I dressed with my audience of one, my own personal fan club who never failed to remind me how goddamn hot I was. Before I slid on my heels, I climbed onto the bed, straddling Dominic. I ran my thumb over the crease between his dark brows, then touched my lips to his. A wave of wistfulness hit me so hard, I clung to Dominic’s neck so I didn’t get knocked down.
I’d miss this when it was gone.
“What are you doing tonight?” I asked.
He squeezed my ass, growling against my neck. “Thinking about you in this dress.”
“Do something productive. At least write a song about me in this dress.” I was purely joking, but the way Dominic’s eyes lit up, he liked the idea.
“Stay with me, Claire,” he crooned. “Your lips are like honey, your smile is my air.”
My eyelids fluttered, and a corset tightened around my chest. “I’d stay, you know. If you asked me tomorrow, I’d stay.”
I hadn’t meant to say that, but how could I not? If I walked away without bringing up the possibility of us being together after the tour, I’d regret it forever.
Dominic’s arms flexed around my middle, and he buried his face in my neck, but he didn’t say a single word. And that was answer enough.
I finally tore myself from him, and Marta and I hopped in an Uber to the bar. Adam leaned by the entrance, waiting for us. When our car pulled up, he opened the door, helping Marta and me out.
“Immaculate, Claire.” He let out a low whistle, looking me over.
“And what about me?” Marta demanded.
Adam grinned wide. “Fucking hot. Gorgeous. If I wore glasses, they’d be steamed up.”
Marta flipped him off. “Way too much, lover boy.”
The inside of the bar was a true dive, but in a hip, gentrified way. The wood floors were scuffed from being trod on for decades by combat boots, and the walls were decorated in old neon beer signs with Sharpie scribbles in between. Loud rock music only added to the vibe.
Perched on the end of the bar was Rodrigo, sitting cross-legged with his beer in the air. If he were anyone else, I would have said he was already drunk, but he wasn’t anyone else.
I stopped in front of him. “What are you doing up there, silly?”
He booped my nose. “Waiting for you, preciosa. What are you doing down there?”
I pointed to my feet. “I thought this was where the booze was. Am I wrong?”
From behind him, the bartender handed him a light pink drink in a glass, and Rodrigo held it out to me. “Here you go. Vodka cran, light on the ice, just like you like it.”
I took a sip, a smile splitting my lips. “My man. What would I do without you?”
He shrugged. “You’d be so damn thirsty.”
He hopped off the bar, and we joined the rest of the group. Adam’s friends were a loud bunch of dude-bros and a few really hot women. Introductions went around, but I was more interested in talking to Iris, Marta, and Roddy than making new friends I’d never see again.
“What happens when you get back to New York?” I asked Iris.
She held up two fingers. “We have a couple weeks at home, then we’re off to Europe. When we come back, we’re doing a music festival. I don’t think we’ll be home for longer than a month until next year.”
Rodrigo bounced in his chair. “It’s gonna be so lit.”
Adam swooped down on me, bending over so he could hug me from behind. “Are you ready for another drink? I’m the drink fairy tonight.”
I swirled my half-full vodka cranberry. “I’m still good, but I’ll sprinkle some pixie dust in the air when I’m ready for a refill.”
He kissed my temple before I knew it was coming. “All right. When you get a chance, I want to talk to you for a minute.”
I shifted away from his hot beer breath. I really didn’t want to have a private conversation with Adam, but he’d been decent to me through the tour, so I’d listen to what he had to say. I’d also put it off as long as possible.
“Find me in a little bit,” I said.
He let go of his hold on me and squeezed my shoulders. “Don’t run away.”
I smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”
He moved back to his friends and flirty girls, and I refocused on mine. Rodrigo challenged me to another round of Rock, Paper, Scissors, and I once again trounced him.
Despite Adam’s claim of being the drink fairy, Roddy turned out to be my supplier. I never got thirsty when he was around, and neither did Marta or Iris. The night wore on, and we line danced to rock music and played darts with a picture of a rat with a mohawk as the target.
On my third drink, I finally got the dirt on Callum, the ever-absent band member.
Iris shook her head. “Callum is…”
“Shy,” Rodrigo supplied.
“He’s shy and not very good with people.” Iris stretched an arm behind her head, revealing a wide swatch of tight, tattooed stomach. Marta barely looked for more than a second or two. Even I looked longer than a second or two.
Roddy nodded vehemently. “He’s a good, sweet kid, though.”
Marta slung her arm around my shoulders. “So, he doesn’t hate Claire and me? He hasn’t been actively avoiding us this whole tour?”
Iris laughed. “Oh, he’s actively avoiding you, just like he’s actively avoiding the rest of the world. That’s just Callum.”
I put my drink down on the table and snagged Marta, dragging her to the restroom with me. She gave me crazy eyes once I shut us inside.
“Are you over Iris or what?” I demanded.
Marta tucked her hands in her pockets and casually leaned against the wall. “She’s a friend.”
I wagged my finger at her. To be fair, I was half-drunk. “More information needed. Don’t even try to escape my inquisition.”
She shrugged. “We messed around again, but the spark wasn’t there. It’s sad because she’s hot as hell, but on the sexuality spectrum, I think she leans more toward men. Another loss for the team.”
“Boo. I’m glad you’re not heartbroken at least.”
“No, because you’re going to hook me up with your sister.” Her eyebrows shot up and down.
“Come see me when we get back and I’ll make it happen. Annaliese will give you a run for your money, girl.”
Marta rubbed her hands together. “Why do I like her already?”
We spent a few more minutes in the bathroom, then headed back out. Adam was hovering just outside the door with an expectant look on his face.
“Can we have that talk?” he asked, holding up a drink for me. It had too much ice, but I took it without complaint.
“Sure.” I told Marta I’d catch up with her, and the face she made behind Adam’s back was nearly my undoing, but I kept it together.
I leaned against the back wall of the bar, Adam beside me. His eyes were heavy-lidded, the aroma of beer was strong on his breath. “We haven’t hung out much lately,” he said.
“I know. I think because we haven’t been staying in the same place lately—”
He reached out and tugged one of my curls. “I like you.”
“I like you too. We’re friends.”
Shit, I was terrible at this. I’d never been faced with rejecting a man before. I’d been with Derrick so long, it had never been an issue. But I had a dreadful feeling that was where this was going.
“Yeah, we are.” He inched closer, turning so his chest brushed my arm. “But we vibe when we’re together. I’m not the only one who sees it. Even my friends feel it.”
I glanced at Adam’s overgrown frat-boy friends. They were nudging each other, red faced and laughing as they watched us together.
“They’re laughing at us,” I said.
“At me. They’re laughing at what a fucking pussy I am. I’ve been into you for two months and I’m too chickenshit to make a move.” His hot, damp hand slid over my jaw. “Well, I’m not throwing away my shot.”
“Stop.” I pressed a hand to his chest. “You’re drunk, Adam.”
He leaned in, running his nose along mine. “Come on, Claire-bear. I like you.”
Derrick’s nickname coming from Adam was like nails on a chalkboard. It made me want to curl into a ball and cover my ears so I never had to hear it again.
“You’re making me really uncomfortable. That’s not what you do to someone you like.” My heart pounded like a wild beast in my chest. Adam had me caged in, both hands bracketing my head. He’d reduced my voice to a squeak and my fight to a mere scrap.
“I’m just tryna show you how good we could be.” His hot breath pummeled at my lips, then his mouth took over, smashing against mine with no grace or finesse. He was sloppy, his tongue licking all over my lips and chin, alcohol dimming his aiming ability. His arms banded around my shoulders, molding me against him so tight, all I could do was squirm.
He lifted his head to meet my eyes, and I saw realization there. “Claire-bear?”
If he said it one more time, I’d scream the shaky walls of this dive down.
“Get off me, Adam,” I rasped.
“I’m not gonna hurt you,” he cooed.
“I don’t want you to touch me.” Tears welled in my eyes as panic surged through my veins. We were in a public place. My friends were just around the corner. This wasn’t anything like the night Derrick knocked me unconscious, but telling myself that didn’t help—not when I was trapped and afraid. My body froze as fear rooted me in place.
He brought his hand up to touch me, hit me, I didn’t know, because he never got to do it.
Suddenly, I was free, and Adam had disappeared. I blinked, and Dominic was there, holding Adam by the back of his shirt. Dominic shook Adam hard, shoving him into a wooden high-top table and chairs.
Adam turned around with his hands raised, but Dominic didn’t give him a chance to defend himself. His fist slammed into Adam’s face. The music was too loud to hear, but I felt the crunch of Adam’s nose.
“You don’t get to touch her,” Dominic roared. His fist met Adam’s stomach, bending him in half, then Dominic brought his knee up, connecting to his chin, sending him back again.
Adam’s friends came running over, surrounding us, yelling for Dominic to stop. Marta tried to intervene, but Dominic didn’t see anything but blood. He got two more hits in on Adam before the bartender and bouncer were able to pull him off.
I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t stand still. Couldn’t be surrounded by the stench of beer, sweat, and blood one second longer. Mostly, I couldn’t look at Dominic raging violently. His face was so contorted, I barely recognized him.
Was every man really a monster waiting to be unleashed?
Iris was the one who got me out. She rode with me back to the condo, assuring me Marta was taking care of Dominic. She rubbed my cold, shaking hands, promising everything would look better in the morning. She cursed alcohol and testosterone. I appreciated she was trying to comfort me, but I barely heard a word she said.
When I finally got back to the condo in the sky and had my first moment of silence, I slid down to the floor and sobbed. Adrenaline fled my body as fast as my tears flowed, leaving me listless.
How could Adam have put me in this position—back in the place where I was let down and hurt by yet another man, after spending months clawing my way back to the surface? Was this how it was? How it would be? Trusting someone new was difficult enough without being on edge all the time, waiting for their mask to fall. I didn’t know if I could do this again.
It took the rest of my energy to stumble into the first bedroom I passed. It wasn’t the one I’d been sharing with Dominic, but that didn’t give me a second of pause. Still in my dress and makeup, I curled up under the covers, exhausted to my very core.
Before I fell asleep, I had enough presence of mind to text Isabela.
Dominic was involved in a fight at a bar here in Chicago tonight. I can’t be sure it wasn’t caught on film. If this becomes public, I don’t think I’m capable of handling this situation alone. I’ll be in touch in the morning. I’m sorry.