Chapter 25
“God, I hate this!”
I close the front door of my apartment and slowly walk toward the living room. I fix my gym bag’s strap hanging over my shoulder. The muscles in my back are stiff, and I’m fucking dying from how sore my whole body is. Practice was awesome, but what I lifted in the gym after is the reason I feel like shit.
I’m craving a hot shower with all my soul.
I stop in the doorframe, watching Nevaeh on the couch. She pouts, her eyes glued to her laptop. Stepping further into the room, I put my gym bag on the floor and pad over to her. Her gaze darts to me just as I lower myself on the couch beside her.
“Hey,” I say with a smile. “What happened?”
“Hey.” She leans over and gives me a quick peck on the lips. “Remember I told you about that assignment my boss gave me two weeks ago?” I nod, draping a hand over her shoulder and pulling her to my side. “Well, I still haven’t figured out what to write, and he keeps asking about it. At the office. Over the phone. In emails.”
“That’s very boss-like behavior, no? Coach always roasts us if we promise something and then don’t do it.”
Nevaeh laughs heartily. “You’re right, and I know that about Kai. He’s always like that. Very persistent when he wants work to be done. It’s just…the third email this week, and like the sixth in two weeks.”
“What do you mean?” I frown, dipping my head to get a better look at her face.
“I started replying to an email from Penny, my coworker. And then I saw an email from Kai, from yesterday…already opened, but I never read it.” She huffs, her bottom lip protruding. “It’s so weird. Like I’d ever open an email from Kai and forget about it. It’s not annoying spam; it’s an email from my boss.”
“Does anyone have access to your email?”
“No.”
“Then maybe it’s a glitch?” I offer, and she bursts out laughing.
“A glitch that doesn’t want me to read emails from my boss?”
“Something like that.”
Nevaeh relaxes into my embrace, a happy smile on her lips. She looks up, her eyes meeting mine. “How was practice?”
“Awesome. As usual.” I lift my shoulder in a shrug. “I love being on the ice. Even if I feel like a bulldozer ran me over after.”
“Is that how you feel right now?” Her eyebrows pull together, and concern crosses her features.
“A little bit. I’ve been dreaming about a hot shower.”
Tilting her head to the side, she bites her bottom lip. Her fingers are rapping over her closed laptop. Something is on her mind, and I secretly hope it’s showering with me. It would be perfect. A hot shower with this insanely hot girl. I’ll be one hundred percent better the second her warm pussy wraps around my cock.
“Tell you what.” She pushes her laptop across the couch. “I’m tired, and my workday technically ended two hours ago. I’m all for taking a shower together if you are.”
I jump to my feet and extend my hand to her. Nevaeh takes it, entwining our fingers as I pull her up. I wrap my arm around her waist and haul her toward me, her chest pressed tightly to mine. In her crop top and cotton shorts, with a messy bun on top of her head and a pencil peeking through it, she looks so comfortable and so fucking cute. My lips stretch into a big smile.
“I would never say no to something like that.”
Nevaeh giggles as I head to my bathroom, pulling her along behind me. I don’t know how to describe what’s happening to me. It’s like my muscles aren’t so tight anymore. My lungs are full of air. And even my heart beats steadily, pumping blood into my veins and warming my skin.
I look over my shoulder, my gaze dropping to my SpongeBob tattoo. Optimistic. That’s how I feel. It’s so unusual for me, but it reminds me of my brother. Easygoing, music always in his earbuds, ready to have fun whenever. And always berating me for being so grumpy, especially with new people.
“Roman?” I raise my eyes to Nevaeh as we enter the bathroom. “You look so lost in thought. Is something on your mind?”
“Just memories.” Whirling around, I face her, my hand secure around her waist. “What are we going to do first? Fuck or shower?”
“Fuck,” she whispers, standing on her tiptoes. “Then shower, and then…I’m going to give you a massage.”
“Massage?” I lower my head, my lips barely touching hers.
“The best in the world. And exclusively for you.”
“I like the sound of that, Malyshka,” I say. Then I crash my lips on hers, my whole body humming from just one kiss.
It’s official, I found my new fix…it’s her.
The morning light peeks through closed curtains, the shadows it casts moving over the ceiling. I inhale, hiding my nose in Nevaeh’s hair. She’s still asleep, and I don’t want to wake her up. It’s early; even her alarm hasn’t gone off yet. Plus, it feels incredibly nice to have her warm body pressed against mine, her head resting on my chest.
I’m getting used to falling asleep and waking up with her in my bed. It feels natural, normal. Her presence helps me sleep through the night, and not just because I’m exhausted after sex, but because she calms my storm. With her around, my disturbing thoughts are quieter. The pain of losing Maks dulls. It’s not like it doesn’t hurt anymore—of course it does. It’s just that more and more memories resurface in my head. Happy, precious memories, ones I’ve been trying to push away, afraid I couldn’t handle my grief. Remembering my brother, cherishing the time I got to spend with him, protecting all the little things I have that remind me of him.
Something I wasn’t able to do until she stepped into my life.
Nevaeh stirs. I tighten my hold on her, pressing her closer to my chest. It feels so fucking good, I don’t want to leave my bed. Unfortunately, my selfish wishes mean shit. The team is flying to Texas today to play our first neutral-site preseason game tomorrow. My excitement mingles with my disappointment. I want this sweet girl to come with me.
Tol’ko eto nevozmozhno1.
“What time is it?” she whispers, moving her palm across my chest and resting it on my heart.
“Six a.m. It’s too early. You can sleep some more.”
She props herself up and rests her chin on my chest, her eyes traveling around my face. I reach over and push a few strands of hair off her face, gently caressing her skin. A smile spreads over her lips, and I smile back. It’s so easy with her. So familiar. As if I’ve known her for years.
“Where did you get this scar?” Nevaeh asks, her index finger tracing a scar on my chin. It’s an old one, barely visible, and still she noticed.
“I had a very eventful youth.”
Wriggling out of my embrace, she slowly sits up and straddles my legs, her hands on my chest. I drag my eyes down her naked breasts and her toned stomach, feeling sizzling heat spread over my body. My tongue darts out of the corner of my mouth, and I lick my bottom lip. I want her. Just as much as I did before, if not more. Hotya zachem ya vru sebe2? My desire is definitely stronger now.
“What happened?” she asks again, a playful smile on her lips.
“I got into a fight after a school dance when I was fourteen. Some guy didn’t like that his girl was flirting with me. Somehow, it ended up being my fault.” I shrug, gripping her hips with my hands. “I broke his nose, and he cut me with his keys in return.”
Nevaeh shakes her head and glances to her left, grabbing my right hand and lifting it. “Where did you get these ones?” She points at the scars on the back of my right hand. Three tiny, white lines.
I chuckle. “I was home alone, and somehow, when I went out on the balcony, the door locked behind me. The weather was mild for early December, but I was only in shorts and a tee. After a short debate, I decided that it would be more expensive for my parents to replace the front door, since it was locked from the inside, than glass on the balcony door.”
“You smashed the glass?”
“I did,” I confirm. “Though I made a mistake. Instead of hitting the glass at the top, I smashed it right in the middle. The shards of glass cut my skin, and my father had to come home and take me to the hospital. I needed stitches.”
With a dip of her head, she knits her eyebrows together. “Your father? That’s the first time you’ve mentioned him. I kinda assumed he wasn’t a part of your life.”
“He’s dead.”
Nevaeh squeezes my hand. “I’m so sorry. What happened?”
I close my eyes, clenching my jaw. How do I explain to her that my father was so unhappy that I was the one who didn’t die that he drank himself to death? His words are still fresh in my head, even after four years. It should’ve been you, he said. Maks had such a bright future ahead of him, and now it’s you…living his dreams and getting everything he deserved.
Eto dolzhen byl byt’ ya…3
“Roman.” Her soft voice is quiet. Opening my eyes, I see Nevaeh’s beautiful face. She towers over me, bending down to wipe away the tears from the corners of my eyes. “I’m really, really sorry. Just know that I’m here for you. Whether you want to talk about it or not. I’m always here.”
“I’ll tell you about him…just not today, okay?” I say hoarsely. My throat is dry. “It always messes with my head, and I don’t think I can handle it. Not when I need to play.”
“Whenever you’re ready.” Nevaeh kisses my lips, then leans away and tucks her hair behind her ears. “I wish I could go with you.”
“Me too.” I extend my hand and catch a lock of her hair between my fingers. “When I first met you, your hair had pink in it. Why did you change it? It suited you.”
Nevaeh’s eyes widen, and her mouth opens slightly. “I didn’t think you remembered.”
“About you? I remember everything,” I tell her. “Even the conversation you tried to have with me at Drake’s birthday. About Cooper’s favorite toy. How you unintentionally threw it away, and you thought he hated you.”
Her head lolls back, and my bedroom fills with her melodic laughter. “I wanted to talk to you, and you kept ignoring me. Coming up with something quick after we accidentally ended up in Angie’s kitchen together wasn’t easy.”
“It was hilarious. Though you confused the hell out of me because it was so random.” I snort, twirling her hair around my index finger. “Why did you stop dyeing your hair, Malyshka?”
“I didn’t just get rid of the pink in my hair. I fundamentally changed my entire wardrobe. It’s all black and white now.”
“Why?”
Nevaeh takes a deep breath, holding my gaze. “I was unhappy. Lost. I didn’t know what to do to make things better, so I changed my style…completely.”
I sit up and wrap my arms around her waist. Our eyes lock. “Are you happy now?”
“Yes.”
“Do you feel lost?” I ask, moving my hands up to gently massage her tits.
“Not anymore.” Nevaeh sighs loudly, winding her hands around my shoulders.
“Good.”
I put my hand on the back of her neck and draw her to me for a kiss. There’s definitely a silver lining to waking up so early—even if I need to fly halfway across the country, I still have time to fuck my gorgeous wife.
The thought sizzles right through me, causing my heartbeat to go insane. This marriage isn’t real. It’s temporary. I don’t want this to turn into something more.
Another lie I’m telling myself.
1 Только это невозможно. — Just it’s impossible.
2 Хотя зачем я вру себе? — Though why am I lying to myself?
3 Это должен был быть я… — It should’ve been me…