Break Me: Chapter 9
I keep my eyes locked on Belinda’s muscular calves and blink away the burn in my eyes. I can’t rid my stomach of that smoldering discomfort I feel, realizing what I should have seen immediately.
That I’m the foolish farm girl who ate up every word he fed to me, right down to the part about us being different.
I guess Scott wasn’t lying. Not about that, anyway. There’s no reason for Henry to lie to me about being with his father and brother all night and all morning unless he was with someone else. Someone who is exotic and powerful and will tell him she wants him within five minutes of meeting. Someone he needs to impress to get a favorable article for his precious Wolf Cove hotel in a top travel magazine.
I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t be surprised. The signs were all there. The personal note he wrote to her, requesting a cabin for her next to his.
I’ve just been too naïve to see it. Jed was right.
And here I am now, standing in the midst of this lobby, shocked and hurt. Two things I can’t be right now. This is my job. I don’t have time to be hurt or angry, or to even think about it. I have to get through this afternoon, and all I want to do is run. But if I run, the other employees will notice. They’ll ask questions. They’ll start talking, and guessing, and they’ll put it together. And then everyone will be talking about me. With so much media here this weekend, there’s a chance that someone will hear something, and then it’s over. Everyone will know.
I have to make it through this afternoon.
Belinda stops so abruptly, I bump into the back of her, earning her glare when she spins around.
“I’m sorry,” I offer weakly.
“So you know where he needs to be, right?”
I fumble with my iPad. “A casual lunch meeting in Rawley’s with Maury Downing from Travel Elite magazine in ten minutes. A boat tour at one. Aerial tour at two thirty—”
“Okay then.” She jerks her head in the direction of Henry. “He gave you this job, so go and do it, and do it well.” With that, she marches in the opposite direction toward the ballroom, leaving me to fend for myself.
Taking a deep breath, I steel myself for an agonizing afternoon and make my way to the edge of the group as they chatter away. I’m supposed to be Henry’s personal shadow, who goes unnoticed but swoops in when Henry needs help, or needs a time check.
A shadow who’s not allowed to stand here and cry as she pictures Henry naked and lying with that woman standing right beside him.
I must be doing a good job because no one bats an eyelash at me, including Henry, the picture of simple elegance in a pair of dark-wash jeans and a fitted arctic-white shirt, an intentionally casual outfit to counterbalance the black tie event later.
He says something funny and Roshana tips her head back to give him a deep-throated laugh, her hand reaching for his forearm to squeeze it. It’s such an affectionate move.
It’s a kick in my chest.
Had he had this planned all along? Is this why he gave me the morning off? Was he in bed with her when he answered my text?
When he called me?
I am such an idiot. I was so eager to move on from Jed, so desperate to not feel the pain in my heart, that I dove heart-first toward Henry. He knew how easy a target I was, and he took the opportunity. He is a predator. Maybe not the kind that forces himself on women—can I believe him anymore about that?—but certainly one who preys on vulnerable women.
I gave him anything and everything he wanted. I believed everything he said.
He did tell me that what we have is different. I believed him when he said that, too.
Anger and embarrassment boils inside me. Anger with myself, for believing him so readily because I wanted to.
Now all I want to do is go back to the cabin and curl up in my bed, because this little fantasy I’ve been living in is over. It didn’t even last four days, let alone four months.
I feel eyes on me. I pull myself back from my inner despair to find Henry’s blue gaze on me. Despite my current pain, he still manages to steal a heartbeat or two.
I tighten my jaw, the urge to scream, “You lying bastard!” almost too much to control. But that would only swell my embarrassment. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr. Wolf, but you have a meeting to get to right now.” Surprisingly, my voice isn’t shaky or soft. It’s wooden. Almost robotic.
A frown flickers across Henry’s forehead and he pauses for just a moment before turning to the group. “I’m so sorry, but I’m being summoned. Please feel free to find me later today. I’d love to finish this conversation.”
A chorus of smiles and nods and “okays” ensue.
He’s three steps away from the group when Roshana calls out in that husky voice, “Henry? Just a moment?”
I scowl as he stops and leans in to catch her murmurs, her smiles.
Her clawed hand on his forearm.
I can’t hear her, but I hear him chuckle and say, “No problem. I’ll have my assistant set something up for us.”
Oh, will he, now…
“Great. I’m looking forward to it.” She flashes that dazzling smile at him as he pulls away and falls into step with me.
And suddenly I want to get far away from him.
“Is there a reason you’re making me run to keep up with you?” Henry mutters under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear.
I slow down, but only a touch. “I’m sorry. I just know you don’t like being late.”
He checks his watch. “Noon, right? We have time. ”
I don’t answer. I can’t. There’s a giant lump in my throat and I’m doing my best not to cry, and that’s only making me more angry at myself.
Honestly, what did I expect from Henry Wolf?
He smiles and nods at passersby on our way to the elevator. “I thought you’d be struggling to keep your appreciation for me in check after what I did for your roommate.”
He didn’t do that for me. He did that for him.
When I still don’t answer, he edges closer to me. “What’s gotten into you?”
“More like, what have you gotten into?”
“Excuse me?” Iciness creeps into his voice.
My cheeks flame. That wasn’t supposed to slip out. “Nothing.”
He hits the elevator button and it opens immediately. “After you. Please.”
The longer I’m near him, the more it hurts, and I can’t help it anymore. Now I’m rushing to brush away the tear that slipped out.
“Jesus Christ.” Henry herds me in with a hand on the small of my back and hits the Close button to stop anyone else from getting on. “Is there a reason my assistant is standing next to me, crying?”
This is mortifying. “Noth—”
He slaps a hand over the elevator Stop button and the elevator comes to a jarring halt. It’s the second time I’m trapped in the elevator with a Wolf within the last hour. Both times uncomfortable, but for different reasons.
“I don’t have time or patience for evasiveness, Abbi. Spit it out.”
“You weren’t with your father and brother all last night and this morning!” I finally blurt out, hot tears burning my skin.
He opens his mouth but hesitates. “According to who?”
“Your brother. He cornered me earlier to ask me if you’ve… fucked me yet.” My voice stutters over that word.
Henry’s eyes flare with rage. “What did you tell him?”
“Nothing!”
He heaves an obvious sigh of relief. He’s clearly more concerned about his brother knowing about us than about what I know of his night and Roshana. “What else did he say?”
“That your dad has decided to pass Wolf Hotels to him, and he’ll be taking over in a few weeks.”
That earns a derisive snort, so I guess that’s not true either. “What else?”
“He had me investigated.” My voice is wobbly. I hate when my voice is wobbly.
Henry’s face twists with confusion. “What? What do you mean?”
“I mean, he knows all about me. Where I’m from, my parents’ names, about Jed…. It scared me.”
The Henry from yesterday morning, with his arms around me, telling me that we were different, would wrap his arms around me now. I’d like to think that, anyway. But this Henry’s lips purse together tight. I can see the wheels churning behind his eyes.
“He also said that you’ll use me and throw me away. That I shouldn’t trust you.” I hesitate, but only for a minute. I need to know. “Did you sleep with her?”
He blinks at me once… twice… before hitting the elevator release button.
What kind of answer is that? My stomach sinks. “Did you?”
“I’ve got way too much on my plate to deal with silly little-girl jealousy right now, Abbi.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m trying to run a worldwide hotel chain, that asshole is trying to sink me, and I can’t have my assistant getting jealous around every pretty woman I meet with.”
Getting jealous? This is beyond getting jealous. This is fact. This is him sleeping with other women the same day he’s sleeping with me.
He hasn’t even asked who I’m talking about. He hasn’t denied it.
That’s all the answer I need.
God, when Jed did this to me, I was completely blindsided. But Henry… shame on me. I should have seen it coming a mile away.
The elevator doors open and a dark look has taken over Henry’s face. “Go clean yourself up. I’ll expect you back within listening distance in half an hour.” I watch his back as he passes the entrance to Rawley’s, dialing someone on his phone.
~ ~ ~
I thought those few days after I caught Jed cheating on me were long and painful.
And they were.
But guiding Henry around today, tending to his every need while this thick fog of disappointment and hurt hangs over my head, unable to just hide out and do what I want to do—cry my eyes out—made for an excruciating afternoon.
And it’s nowhere near finished.
I trail Henry as he pushes through the lobby doors, holding one open for me. “Be at my place in thirty minutes.” I’ve only caught the faintest glimpse of a sour mood, buried depth beneath the ever-charming mask he wears so well when he needs to. It’s like our conversation in the elevator never happened.
That basically gives me ten minutes to change and freshen up, given the time it takes to walk to the staff village. I mutter a “Yes. Mr. Wolf,” on my way past.
“Abbi.”
I pretend that I don’t hear him. He doesn’t call out, doesn’t chase after me, not that I expected him to.
I count my steps all the way back to my cabin, focusing on my breathing, on the dark clouds rolling in over the mountain range, anything to try to dull this ache.
This isn’t what Alaska was supposed to be.
~ ~ ~
I step into the cabin to excited chatter.
“Look who’s here!” Katie exclaims, her arm slung around Rachel’s shoulders.
I smile because despite my mood, I’m genuinely happy to see Rachel again. “Welcome back.”
Rachel pries herself away from Katie to pull me into a hug. “Katie told me what you did. Thank you,” she whispers in my ear.
I shrug. “Glad I could help.” And I’m glad I asked this morning, before I knew all that I know now.
“Belinda sent me home with a garment bag for you. I hung it up over there.” Tillie points to the hook in the corner.
Right. The formal dress that Henry wants me to wear. “Thanks. I have about two seconds to change before I have to be back.”
“Ugh. I don’t envy you tonight, that’s for sure. Those people are too much. I’m gonna have nightmares about the things I found in those rooms today.”
“That bad?” Rachel begins pulling out clothes from her duffel bag. She must literally have just arrived off the ferry.
“That bad. I was assigned to the penthouses today. Well, except for Wolf’s. You know, because he’s a freak who doesn’t allow anyone except Abbi in there to clean. But you know that woman from that magazine? The beautiful but bitchy-looking one?”
My stomach tightens.
“Ohh… I heard about her.” Katie waggles her brows at Rachel, helping her unpack her clothes.
I distract myself from my bitterness and—yes—jealousy by unzipping the garment bag. A simple black dress and blazer hang inside. It’s nothing exotic but it’s nicer than the blouse and skirt combo, especially when everyone else will be fully decked out in formal wear.
“Yeah, well she’s a beautiful bitch pig is what she is. She didn’t even have the decency to make sure the condoms were put in the trash. They were all over the place. I found two stuck to the shag rug and one was on the nightstand. Ugh. The dried spooge took the finish right off.”
“Gross!” Katie cries out with laughter.
“Right? But, damn, did she ever have a good night with whoever she hooked up with.”
I blink back the burn in my eyes.
Three times with her, Henry? Once wasn’t enough?
Who am I kidding? This is Henry. Of course once wasn’t enough.
Tillie pulls her blanket over herself and then reaches back to pull the privacy curtain around her, face mask and earplugs already in hand. “Wake me up by eight. I feel the need to drink heavily tonight.”
I keep my back to them as I peel off my day uniform and wriggle into the dress, doing my best not to start crying. Right now I envy Tillie. I’d do anything to be able to curl up in my bed and pull the curtain on my life.
“Do you need some help with that?” Icy-cold fingers make me jump. “Sorry.” Katie pulls the zipper up my back.
“Thanks.” I check the one full-length mirror on the outside of the powder room door, standing taller. “So? What do you think?” I smooth my hands over the soft matte black material of the sleeveless dress that ends just above the knee. It’s nothing flashy, or intentionally provocative, but it hugs my curves all the same. I think it looks nice.
Katie’s frown makes me think I’m wrong.
“What?”
“Something’s off.”
“Really?” I look at my reflection again. “Like what?”
“Shoes. Necklace,” Rachel pipes in with her ideas.
Katie’s nodding with her but still looks perplexed. And then she snaps her finger. “Boobs!” She rifles through her drawer. “You need a bra.”
“I’m wearing a bra.” I frown at myself in the mirror. Does it look like I’m not wearing a bra?
“36D, right?”
“Right.” I’m not going to ask how she knows.
“Here.” She tosses a lacy black bra at me. “It has superpowers. Trust me. Turn around.” I do, and her hands are working to unzip and slip off the top of my dress before unfastening my bra.
I feel both Rachel and Katie’s eyes on me but I put my self-consciousness away and slip my worn white bra off, quickly exchanging it for Katie’s.
“See? Much better!” Katie exclaims when I’m redressed and checking myself in the mirror.
“You’re right.” I can’t explain exactly what is different, because they still look huge next to my slender waist, but something is definitely different.
“Can you handle heels?” Rachel pulls out the pair of heels she was wearing the day she served drinks to Henry and those bigwigs in Lux.
“I can try.” It’s been a while.
Katie throws a silver rope-like necklace around my neck. “How much time do you have?”
I check my phone. “I should probably leave now.”
“You can be a few minutes late, right?” She grabs her cosmetics bag.
The old me—the one who wanted to please my boss—would have said absolutely not.
But I’m guessing my days here are numbered anyway.
“Sure. Why not.”