Blinded

I fidgeted in the cold hard chair. One would think with how busy it was all the time the chairs wouldn’t have a chance to cool down before the next patient was called into the room. It reminded me why I hated doctor’s offices. The smell plaguing my sense of scent was too sterile and clean. It prompted memories of my paternal grandmother’s house. The woman was unable to overlook a speck of dirt. I was never allowed to make a mess when I was around and I couldn’t imagine my father having to grow up in those circumstances. Basil never had to deal with the strict visits for she had passed before he was able to walk. Ignoring the scent I had come to hate, I paid attention to my nails. The dingy look reminded me that I really needed to trim and polish them. At least they were clean, that was only because they had been able to soak while doing the dishes earlier that morning.

Dishes reminded me of the containers sitting in front of the apartment door. How they had managed to make it inside the building was beyond me. The only people who knew the pin to get in were living in the building. I had told Samantha, who used it during her infrequent visits. The containers in question had been cleaned and returned. Somehow the old homeless man in the park had managed to find out where I lived. I didn’t think he was a stalker. I would have to ask him the next time. I also had a few other things to question him about. His name. He hadn’t told me his name. To be brutally honest I didn’t recall telling him my name. It seemed to slip my mind the last time I was there. I would rectify the issue the next time. Lastly, I wanted to know about the story. He had to have a reason to tell me it. At first I thought it had to do with Lucas. He had said the story was for him as much as me. I figured he was implying Lucas was a descendant of a wolf. I still had not figured out his breed. The story intrigued me so much I tried to look it up. I didn’t find a telling of it on-line or in a book form from the library. The old man was playing with my head or something and I wanted to get to the bottom of it. Only I hadn’t had a chance to return.

“Good afternoon Ms. Burnett.” I whipped my head to the door, surprised to see that the doctor had succeeded in entering and taking a seat without a sound to notify me of his presence. “I didn’t mean to startle you,” he added.

“No, it’s not your fault. Sorry, I ...”

“Have a lot to think about,” he finished for me.

I glanced at his name plate on his chest. Dr. Lowell. The card he had given me didn’t have a first name and neither did the tag on his lab coat. I cast my eyes back down to my hands in my lap. “Yeah,” I mumbled slowly..

“How about I take a look at that hand, and leave you with one less thought to worry over,” he joked in a manner and tone that suggested he was flirting. I couldn’t really tell if he meant it or if this was natural for him. I was over thinking it since my landlady had mentioned it the last time I had come. That had to be the reason. “How has your week been?” he asked casually as his slender fingers worked the bandage wrapping my hand, loosening the material so he could gain access to the stitches.

“Uneventful,” I answered with a sigh, “I was stuck inside for the storm and work has kept me pretty busy. My dog kept me company, so it wasn’t that bad. I got to catch up on some reading.” I had no idea why I was rambling on as if I knew him. It just all bubbled over. I was soon looking down to see the few stitches had been removed but the doctor had not taken back his hand. He was casually holding mine.

“Everything looks fine. No sign of infection. You won’t even have a scar by the looks of things.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, blushing as his fingers brushed against my skin before he finally pulled away.

I looked up and only then noticed his blue eyes. They were so crisp and clear like a bright sky on a cloudless day. I hadn’t dared take too much notice the last time because of the landlady. I averted my attention to my hand to see it had a couple of pink agitated marks but otherwise looked healthy.

“If anything crops up you can always call, but I am sure things will go smoothly after this. Don’t get stuck between anymore fights okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll try not to.” I couldn’t get away without looking up again and nervously tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I mumbled a goodbye and left the room hastily. He probably thought I was strange. I was certain his flirting was an act.

My landlady had insisted in driving me once more. She would not drop the excuse it was her cat’s fault. I knew she had an ulterior motive. I found her in the waiting room, she had declined coming in this time. We walked to the car as she pulled me into a semi hug.

“So?”

I looked at Lynda questionably with an arched brow.

“You saw that sexy doctor again. Please tell me there was an exchange of numbers or something.”

“Please,” I replied with an eye roll, “you really are as bad as my mother. I don’t need a man right now, besides he had a ring on.”

“Liar,” she grumbled.

“How would you know?”

“I looked for one the last time. Oh and just so you know there was no tan line either.”

I shook my head at the woman as she let me go so I could walk without the added weight. I had work so Lynda took me home to let me pick up my own car before I headed out. I had taken the morning off for my appointment and made up for it by staying a little later than usual. The sun was setting earlier and earlier so by the time I was able to head home the sun had long since set. I walked through the automatic doors and my eyes fell on a form sitting in front of the building. At first I ignored it. After a second I realized why it looked so familiar. Lucas was sitting in the middle of the sidewalk like he owned the place.

“How did you get here? Did I leave the patio door open? Did someone let you out?” He didn’t bring with him his leash. I couldn’t help checking him over to make sure he was okay. He tolerantly lifted his head and each leg as I inspected them. “This would have been a good hour walk couldn’t you waited at home. I told you I would be home late tonight.”

Lucas leaned in close, his nose almost touching mine, before he ducked to the side and licked my cheek. I ruffled the fur on his head and sighed. It was the second time he had shown affection randomly. I rose and Lucas followed me to the car. After the routine of looking in the back seat (mother made me paranoid someone would be waiting to attack) I let Lucas in to climb across to the passenger side before taking a seat myself. Once home I checked the patio door and windows. They were firmly shut and latched. I hardly opened them now with the negative temperatures. The front door on the other hand was unlocked.

“Did Lynda check on you? Please tell me you didn’t escape and drive the woman to insanity worrying about you.” Lucas snorted. Whatever that was supposed to mean I didn’t know. I debated for a moment to go see Lynda. I looked at the clock. Mother and her both enjoyed earlier mornings and tended to be in bed by eight. It wasn’t too late but I did have to walk Lucas still. I grabbed the leash off the wall and Lucas circled around me to sit beside the front door. “We have to go to Lynda’s first thing in the morning to apologize.” Lucas snorted again. Perhaps he disapproved. I needed to stop trying to translate his noises and concentrate more on training the stupid yet intelligent beast I choose to be my dog.

In the following week it wouldn’t be the last time I would find my dog had escaped from the apartment to meet me outside my office building. Concern riddled my mind. All investigation would lead nowhere. Lynda didn’t know anything. I checked and double check my locks when leaving. All windows were close the patio door was shut with a large metal bar. The only logical explanation was Lucas himself. He had to be unlocking the door, opening it, closing it behind him and traveling the hour distance to get to my workplace. He would sit in front of the doors until I was ready to leave and we would drive home.

“I give up,” I grumbled as I beaconed Lucas to follow me to the car. “I am not going to worry about this because clearly you won’t listen to me and you are the dog version of Houdini. Just remember if you get hurt, even a scratch, on the way here I will chain you to the bathtub.”

I couldn’t explain my dog. He was capable of learning a great number of things. Ask him to fetch and that would get you nowhere fast. Rolling over was beneath him too it seemed. I could get him to sit or stand most of the time now. If it benefited him. I grumbled even more because the person I talked to the most wasn’t really a person. Worrying over animal translation wasn’t part of a healthy mind. I was seriously considering my mother was right. It may really be time to settle down. At least that would sate the conversational problem I was having. I looked over to Lucas who was very casually leaning against the door and window looking out.

“You know I haven’t really gotten around to this but I am pretty sure you are going to need to have your boosters renewed soon. We should probably take you to the vet. I will have to make an appointment for later in the month. Maybe they can explain your picky eating habits and find a solution.” I smiled sweetly at Lucas when he looked over with a glare that almost spoke volumes on how he was against my idea. I belittled myself thinking that. There was no way I was able to read him that well. He was a dog... besides I didn’t even know if he knew what a vet was. “Tomorrow I have to go car hunting with mother.”

When I called the next morning mother wasn’t feeling well. I had called Samantha and Tyler for some assistance as I knew nothing about cars and didn’t want to reschedule the search. It took a bit but I convinced mother to let me go without her. I promised to send her pictures before agreeing to anything.

“Don’t forget Kale I want something blue.”

I told her not to worry and I would be by shortly to pick up her bank card. I let myself into her apartment using a spare key and headed to her purse on the counter. It was easy to remember where her bank card was, mother always put it in the same spot. Before leaving I walked into her bedroom to check on her. She said she had been ill for a few days. I was a little distress because of the dreams I had been having. Peering into her room brought back the beginning of my dream. Her bed was piled high with blankets, curtains drawn so no light filtered into the room. There were clothes on the floor, not unusual for my mother. A small wastebasket I recognized as belonging to the bathroom was beside the bed and overflowing with tissue. I walked in slowly and put a hand to mother’s forehead. She was burning up.

My mother was a strong woman, but her pale face and sweat drenched hair was not the image of the woman I expected. I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath. This dream had me rattled. I knew it was only a dream. My fear put me into action. I didn’t couldn’t shake that the dream would play out.

“Mom,” I whispered and tapped her exposed shoulder.

“Hmm,” she mumbled turning towards me without opening her eyes.

“How long have you had a fever?”

“A couple days,” she muttered.

“How high is it?”

“Broken,” she replied simply.

I guessed she meant her thermometer was broken. It irked me as in my dream I hunted for a thermometer only to find it didn’t work. I furrowed my brows and took out my phone. Car hunting could wait. Mother needed help and it was better safe than sorry. All I had to say was mother was sick before Samantha offered to come over.

“No, I wouldn’t want you to catch this. I will call if I need anything. I am sure I can manage taking her to the hospital myself. I will message you later.”

I went back to mother’s purse and searched for her medication. Mother had trouble sleeping sometimes. Her sleeping pills were always in her purse. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t keep them beside her bed. I returned to the room and found a fleece blanket to wrap mother in. Carefully, as if mother were fragile glass, I unwrapped her from the pile of bedding and coaxed her to sit up. In most cases when mother was going out of the house she liked to dress up a little. She’d fret over her hair and makeup and then her clothes. We didn’t have time for that. I ran my fingers through her hair and then wrapped the fleece blanket over her shoulders.

“We’re going to the hospital mom.”

“Don’t worry ’bout me.”

“Of course I will worry about you. This isn’t normal.”

“Just the flu.”

“Mom you never get sick. This isn’t just the flu.”

As much as she protested I did convince her to stand and directed her to the door. I put her coat on and boots before thanking myself on the smart action of keeping my car running. At least it would be cozy and warm in the car for her. After getting mother into the car I returned to the house to lock the door and we were soon on the way to the hospital. It was only when we were half way there that I realized I should probably call Basil. I told myself I would do it once we got to the hospital. I was fretting over a minor aliment. The dream meant nothing. I knew mother had been sick for the last couple days and my apprehension had caused the nightmarish like dream.

I reached the hospital in record time despite not going more than a few miles over the speed limit. I didn’t know why there was no traffic today but I was grateful for it. I parked the car right outside the doors, daring anyone to give me a parking ticket. It took a little effort to drag my mother out of the car and drape her arm over my shoulder to support her weight. We made it pass the first sliding doors and were heading through the second when she completely dropped. I stood there too stunned as she took me with her to the ground. When I looked over only then did I noticed how tired she looked, how labored her breathing was. I didn’t hear anyone approach. I didn’t hear any questions as I reached over and tried to wake mother up. I was pulled at and I looked over to see the same blue eyed doctor who had treated my hand.

“She just has the flu right? She was fine and ...” the words faded as I feared my dream had come true. I didn’t want to lose her. I had lost father to some stupid war he said he had to be a part of. To lose my other parent to something as petty as the flu seemed a cruel joke from the gods.

“We will take her into the examination room. I promise you she is in good hands. You should call your family and let them know what is going on. I need to know if she has any other health conditions.”

“No, no nothing... she takes these,” I pulled out the sleeping pills.

He oversaw the nurses as they put mother onto a stretcher and followed the team of nurses into the back. I watched them until they were behind closed doors and looked at the phone that I had taken out of my pocket. I couldn’t do anything now. I did my job. Still, I felt guilty. I should have known sooner. I was a short drive away why didn’t I check on her a couple days ago. We were supposed to go car shopping. She wanted something roomy, cheap to fix, and easy on gas. I knew she was hinting grandchildren. If something happened to her she wouldn’t get to see those grandchildren grow up. I suddenly knew I had been selfish in not settling down. Car. I needed to go move the car.

The thoughts played over and over in my head as I parked the car and went back to the waiting room. I wouldn’t leave until I heard something. I called Basil. He wasn’t home and didn’t answer his cell. I left a message and sent a text that he needed to listen to my message, for added measure. Would he blame me? We had a wonderful relationship. Except we very much played the blame game with each other. This would be my fault in his eyes and I couldn’t argue with him as I was feeling very much at fault.

I curled my knees to my chest, rested my head in my arms and continued over everything that was bothering me. Lucas popped into my thoughts. He would need someone to walk him if I didn’t get home. I hoped he wouldn’t escape and wander away to some odd location to look for me. I tried Basil’s cell again. Voice mail. I called Lynda. She too was out. I forgot it was Saturday. People had lives, social lives. I left a message asking her to check on Lucas. Feed him, if I wasn’t home in time for supper, with leftovers from the fridge and tell him I would be home as soon as I could.

“Ms. Burnett?” I looked up. A nurse was standing a short distance away looking at a clipboard. Her black hair was pulled into a bun. The woman pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. “Kale Burnett,” she repeated. She looked up as I stood and walked over in a hurry. “The doctor would like to speak to you.”

“Of course, how is my mother?”

“She is resting, please follow me I will take you to her.”

The woman was heavier built, she wore it with confidence. With a sway of her hips she stopped one doctor in his tracks. I shook my head and prayed she wasn’t purposely flirting. I really wanted to find out how mother was doing. There was no change in speed as she walked and I determined this was just the way she was. Moreover if there was no rush mother couldn’t be in any immediate danger right?

“Uh, excuse me,” I stopped as I observed a sign stating we were leaving the emergency room, “where are we going?”

“Oh, your mother was taken up to ICU for closer observations.”

My eyes widened in shock. “ICU, she just has the flu...”

“The doctor will explain everything once we get there.”