Backup Girl No More: Adios To My V-Card and My First Love

Chapter 5 Chapter 5 That night , I filled the bathtub to the brim with scalding water , watching steam rise in thick clouds .

I desperately wanted to wash away every trace of the past twenty four hours , as if enough hot water could somehow cleanse my soul along with my skin .

But as I undressed in front of the bathroom mirror , the purple blue marks scattered across my skin told their own story .

Love bites on my neck , fingerprint bruises on my hips each one a reminder I couldnt erase .

The bruises werent ready to fade , just like the memories .

Last night came flooding back uninvited the burning heat of his skin against mine , his passionate breathing against my ear , the way hed whispered my name in the dark .

The ghost of his touch still lingered everywhere , like phantom hands tracing patterns across my body .

The warmth of his chest pressed against my back , his fingers intertwined with mine memories I wanted to forget but couldnt seem to shake .

I shook my head violently , grabbing the sides of the sink until my knuckles turned white , trying to shake away these fragments of madness .

These moments that meant everything to me and nothing to him .

Grabbing my roughest loofah , I scrubbed and scrubbed until my skin turned angry red .

My arms , my neck , my chest anywhere his lips had been .

As if I could somehow erase what had become the most humiliating memory of my life .

The physical pain felt almost good , like maybe it could overshadow the ache in my chest .

The raw , stinging pain kept me tossing and turning all night .

Every position hurt my skin too sensitive , my body remembering touches I was trying to forget .

Aiden didnt text , of course .

For the first time in six years , since we got our first iPhones in middle school , there was no goodnight message .

No inside joke about his calculus homework .

No stupid TikTok he thought would make me laugh .

No heart emoji that I used to analyze for hours .

Just deafening silence .

Better this way .

It had to end sometime .

Might as well start detoxing tonight .

I drifted in and out of consciousness until dawn approached , finally falling into an uneasy sleep somewhere between counting sheep and counting mistakes .

17:40 Backun Girl No More : Adios To My V Card and My First Love 3.1 % Chapter 5 .

Just as morning light began filtering through my curtains , I felt what seemed like a gentle kiss on my forehead , so real it startled me from my dreams .

For a moment , my heart stopped , thinking he might have used his spare key to check on me like he sometimes did before school .

17:40 Backup Girl No More : Adios To My V Card and My First Love