Chapter 54
If Sophia had to tell anyone what she and Neil did that night, what it felt like, she wouldn’t have been able to describe it. There would simply be no way for her to put every feeling, sensation and thought of hers into words–or was it his feelings, sensations, and thoughts?
She just couldn’t tell anymore. It was as though their connection was much, much stronger this time than it had been before. Sophia wasn’t sure whether it was because he might not have built the walls around his mind this time, or if it was because those crazy carnal instincts influenced by the full moon weren’t there to divert her attention to other things this time again.
Sure, there was still the overwhelming need to run, run, run, and run until her legs gave out, but she wasn’t doing it as blindly as last time. She was much more in control.
Shit, she’s fast! Sophia heard Neil’s exasperated but admiring voice breaking through the rush of endorphins spreading like wildfire to every neural synapse in her body, from the thrill of running through the woods.
It was strange, but she could tell exactly where he was behind her. It was as though she could feel his exact location without seeing him. She then made a split-second decision, because she knew that was the only way she could surprise Neil. If she planned anything, he would know what to expect before she would get the chance to do anything.
So basically, if Sophia wanted to surprise Neil, she had to surprise herself first. And that was exactly what she did then. As fast as her legs were making her run, that was how fast they stopped her dead. And within the same instance, she was turned around in time to see Neil barreling toward her, as he was desperately trying to stop before he would crash right into her.
Again, without thinking, she jumped right into him, which sent their wolf bodies tumbling and twirling together in the opposite direction again. Neil let out an oomph when Sophia hit him, and then another sound of shock when she pinned him down onto his back with the final roll. She was laughing with triumph in her head, but in her wolf form, she was just kind of panting happily in his face, not caring if her breath smelled bad or not. How could she be worried about the odour of her mouth when she was under such a spell of an exhilarating thrill of confidence and filled with a potent flush of self-possession?
She could care about nothing more than the titillation of this very moment. This moment with Neil in her arms--well, legs--looking at her in a way she could only describe as reverence.
Sophia, you are something else…
She could feel his wonderment and his excitement as though it was her own, and found those same bronze orbs searing her very soul all of a sudden as they turned to ire within an instant. It made her world spin and then disappear into nothing. It was only him that she saw. That she felt.
As she laid on top of him, unable to move anymore, desire coursed hotly through her veins, but before she could try and hide it from him, she was suddenly overtaken by an overpowering and damn near uncontrollable lust that came surging out of nowhere.
It was so powerful that it confused her for a moment, but before she knew it, they’d switched positions. Neil was on top of her now, with that same staggering hunger she’d felt was in his eyes, and that was when she realized something that made her heart come to a standstill… She’d felt what he was feeling for her!
As though he realized the same thing, which he did because he could read her mind, shame flashed across his wolf eyes and he immediately got off of her, leaving the space where his body had been hotly pressed up against hers only a second ago cold and void, making her chest feel a little cold and void as well at how he couldn’t get away quick or far enough from her.
His mind was blocked from hers again, as she got up and looked at him questioningly. Is something wrong?
It’s just late, she heard his curt response in her mind. Let’s get back. The last bit of your training for the night might be the most difficult one yet.
He started running back in the direction they’d come without another word, and Sophia followed without another question. Not because she didn’t have questions burning holes in her brain just then, but because she didn’t know which one she needed to address first. Too afraid to think about it all too much.
The run back to the clearing wasn’t nearly as fun as the one before, and Neil was acting strange. She could tell that he was very uncomfortable about something, antsy almost, but his walls were up, but clearly not up high enough if she could still feel some of the things he felt in some diluted form.
Was that what made him feel so ill at ease? Her being able to pick up on his emotions?
I’ll change back first now so I can better help you through it, he told her telepathically before his transformation, which took place so fast that Sophia couldn’t even blink, otherwise she would have missed everything. He was naked but crouched down on his haunches.
“Bring me that bag over here, would you?” He smiled a little when he caught her staring.
For a moment Sophia had forgotten that she was still in her wolf form as she trotted over to the bag with their clothes in, and took the handles in between her teeth, and carried it over to him.
After she placed it by his side, giving his muscled back one last glance, she turned and sat down facing away from him, giving him privacy, and saving her from an awkward silent treatment from Neil at best, while also avoiding the feeling she’d had earlier of jumping his bones right then and there at worst.
She heard him chuckle behind her. “You can turn around now.”
When she did, Sophia saw him sitting on the fallen log putting his shoes back on and she walked over to him, coming to a stop right in front of Neil. She suddenly craved his reassuring touch when she started to worry about not being able to shift back to herself again.
As though he could still read her mind, he reached out for her with both hands and held her face level with his between them. “Don’t worry, I will help you through it, Soph. You’ll be fine,” Neil said soothingly, but his hands were what soothed her the most as he stroked her fluffy fur around her face and neck while he spoke, and even massaged her ears for her every now and again.
It felt fucking amazing! So amazing that Sophia damns nearly considered staying a wolf forever. Neil’s wolf. Anyone that as much as looked at him funny would answer to her growl and razor-edged canines.
“Just relax and remember everything you did before when you changed,” he coaxed gently. “Follow the same sequence and thought patterns that brought it about earlier – but this time think of how every muscle and bone would change into your human form this time.”
Sophia had her eyes closed and focused on her breathing already before he’d even finished talking. She was concentrating hard, visualizing every single little detail, as Neil’s powerful fingers kept raking through the thick soft fur at her neck. She sighed in pleasure more than relaxation at the way he touched and massaged her there.
“That’s right,” he purred as though he was getting as much pleasure out of it as she did.
She couldn’t help but wish that he would touch her more like that when she was in her human form too. The form she needed to get back into now.
“Come back to me, baby,” he whispered.
Sophia wasn’t sure whether it was due to him saying her favorite word to her again, or because of the heart-wrenching hope in his voice, but it was like a mental switch had been flipped.
Within an instant, she felt the shift happening. Her thick fur, fangs, claws, and snout retracting was what felt the strangest, while the bones breaking and healing were somewhat painful and uncomfortable, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the night of the full moon shift had been.
Through human eyes again she looked up at Neil, expecting him to look happy or impressed with her success, but instead, his face was turned away from her with his eyes closed, brows furrowed in concentration, and his jaw clenched as though he was in pain, but she felt the yearning heat rolling off him like he was his own sun, if that made any sense.
“Please,” Neil growled, appearing to be shaking with the effort of holding himself together. “Get dressed.”
Holy shit!
“Sorry.” Sophia blanched when she realized her nakedness and scrambled to the bag lying open on top of the log behind Neil’s back now.
Quickly, and not bothering with underwear, she just pulled her burgundy sweatshirt over her head and then put on matching yoga pants. “Okay,” she informed him that it was safe to look again.
She saw he’d been able to cool himself down a little as he walked toward her and like a gentleman wanted to take the bag from her, but froze the moment she was regretful about not putting on any underwear too late. It felt strange without panties on, and it was like he could still read her thoughts at that moment as his eyes went dark again.
“Why didn’t you put on the underwear?” He seemed angry again.
“I was just in such a rush–”
“Never mind,” he snapped as he went to the car and got into the driver’s seat. “Let’s just get home.”
Her head low, bashful, and feeling like the night ended in such an unexpected anti-climax, she obeyed and was barely seated next to him when he flattened the gas pedal and took off. In fact, he was taking off the whole time, driving fast enough to make her wonder if they were being chased or something, but she knew he wanted to get home as quickly as possible. Get away from her as quickly as possible.
Sophia glanced over at his determined face, his eyes stiffly on the road ahead of him, and wondered why she could still feel the connection between them. His restlessness and frustration were hers too, and her fear as a result of his reaction and his driving was his.
Suddenly, Neil slowed and pulled the car into a dark back road somewhere she didn’t recognize and switched off the engine, but still kept his eyes in front of him as he gripped the steering wheel. By the way his knuckles turned white, it was clear he was tense as hell, which was physical proof of the intense emotions emitting from him that she could still feel.
Sophia realized that both of them were out of breath at this point, and maybe even shaking a little from the tension creaking like a taut bowstring between them.
After what felt like a lifetime of heavy silence, Neil finally said, “Sophia, you felt what I feel for you back there, and it–scared you… Hell, it scares me for fuck’s sake!”
Sophia was stunned into silence and could only look at Neil, as he still refused to do the same with her.
“I don’t know why, but the connection is more powerful now, and it’s impossible to keep the walls up the whole time,” he admitted, his voice low and his gaze dipping to the steering wheel, almost like he was afraid he would break if he looked anywhere else. “And it’s getting really hard to keep ignoring the thoughts and feelings coming from you…”
Sophia felt inclined to apologize to him about that, but couldn’t bring herself to speak, as her heart was blocking her throat.
“It’s always been fucking hard to push my feelings I have for you aside in the first place… but now…”
But now what? She wanted to ask, but still couldn’t find her voice.
“But now I’m barely able to keep it at bay anymore, Soph…” Neil was practically growling and still darkly staring and crushing the poor steering wheel to mush.
“I wasn’t scared...” Sophia was finally able to croak out, and it was like the sound of her voice made him shift his unwavering stare to her then. She gulped dryly as she went on to explain to him. “It was just unexpected… I never knew you felt that way...”
This time, Neil seemed to be the one unable to speak as he could probably pick up on Sophia trying to make sense of an intense emotion herself, but her mind was made up as she felt the hopeful tension crackling between them now.
“And I don’t want you to–” At that, the tension immediately slackened a bit, and she realized how it must have just sounded to him, and quickly moved to correct it. “I mean, I don’t want you to keep it at bay anymore…”
Neil stared at her in disbelief, but it didn’t take long for that stare to turn into something far hotter and tantalizingly open and blatant right before they lunged at each other.
“Fuck it,” Neil said to his remaining restraint, and fervently pulled Sophia to him, just as she fearlessly pulled herself to him at the same time.