Aynsefian

The first thing I realise, in the blackness, is that I’m not dreaming, and I’m not unconscious. I’m awake. I’m just in a silent, black, void. I can’t see anything. It’s not terrifying. I’m calm. Have I died? I can’t tell. I can’t feel my body, either. I just have awareness of myself and my thoughts alone. There are no physical sensations: no sight, sound or tactile impressions from anywhere. Maybe that means that I have died. There’s only one problem with that possibility.

It just doesn’t feel right.

Aynsefian could not have killed me. It just wouldn’t have. That doesn’t make the tiniest bit of sense.

So what has happened to me? I can’t see Zarasena or the eight-piece ring anymore, and I can’t feel anything. I exist, but not anywhere tangible. In any other circumstances it would be disconcerting to not see, hear or feel a single thing, but in this case I am calm and not stressed out. It’s even a moderately blissful existence.

I just wish I knew what had happened or where I was.

Then, almost imperceptibly, my vision gradually improves, as does my hearing. I begin to feel my body again. It’s subtle, and it’s slow. Well, it would be if I had any sense of time passing. I don’t.

There are gradual changes in the light, then the sensation of muffled sounds returning and with it, some fuzzy shapes in front of me. I can’t make them out. There’s a large one in front of me, and I have to assume this is Zarasena. I can’t tell though. There’s some smaller ones to the sides, but they are not our companions. They’re too small.

It seems to take forever, but eventually I can make out enough detail. The shape in front of me is probably Zarasena. Sound gradually returns, and it’s a constant hum now. Eventually I can discern that the hum is a light wind and the sound of some leaves rustling. I’m outdoors somewhere.

The shape in front of me resolves into a woman. It’s not Zarasena. It’s Nikse.

It’s the Nikse from the dreams I was having when I was first dumped on this planet. I must find out what is going on. Now I know I’m not dreaming. She’s right in front of me. My voice won’t work when I try to speak. I can’t feel my mouth moving. The urge is there, but the functioning of my mouth and vocal chords is not responding to what my brain wants to say.

Nikse is looking at me quizzically. It isn’t Nikse now. It’s the same woman from my dreams whom I called Nikse, but now I know that she has another name. I want to utter it. I can feel her name somewhere in my brain, but I can’t drag it out and bring it to my lips.

I struggle mightily, and then it comes.

“Myralin” I say. My own voice is breathy and ethereal to my ears. It almost gets carried away in the light breeze.

She smiles. My god she is beautiful, to me. Something has clearly happened in my brain and I’m no longer asexual. It’s most curious.

“Axin,” she says, softly. Her straight shoulder-length blonde hair falls gently across her face slightly as she leans toward me. Her grey-blue eyes light up intoxicatingly. Her voice is soft and almost breathless. The sound of it is alluring and therefore very distracting.

I know her. From where I’m not sure. But I know her.

She is sitting cross-legged, just away from me, on the grass. I’m studying her for a moment. Now that my voice works, I will talk to her.

“I know your name but… how... how do I know you? And where are we?” I ask. My voice is now sounding more like it normally does.

Myralin smiles again, this time with a twinkle in her eye, as if I’m joking with her.

“Come on, Axin,” she says, teasingly. “Really? You can’t remember?”

I can’t. I really can’t. I simply shake my head.

“Look, I know you’ve been through a lot, but this is not even remotely in character for you.” She chuckles a girlish, endearing laugh.

I’m flabbergasted. This time I know it’s not a dream. I’m sure of it. I can feel a gentle breeze on my face. I can hear movement all around me, as if I’m in a village of sorts. I can even remember those weird moments prior to ending up in this… place. The eight metal pieces that Zarasena and I put together. Seeing Zarasena frozen in front of me and then everything going black.

I’m awake and alive. So who is this person? How do I know her name and nothing else?

Myralin seems to have noticed my consternation. “Look Axin, something’s going on. Something you don’t realise.”

I raise my eyebrows at her. She continues.

“You went away for a while. We lost you. You went into a weird state. We don’t know where you went. But you’re back now. It’s good to see you again.”

“Please,” I say. “Please tell me where I am?”

Myralin rushes to answer, but she’s still being cryptic and indirect. “You’re home! This is your home. You can’t remember it?”

“No, not at all.” It’s beginning to perplex me.

She tilts her head a little and smiles gently at me, sympathetically.

I need to try another angle. The truth. “All I know is that I’ve seen you before, but in my dreams. Only you were called something else. I thought you were a physical representation of my ships AI. Then I found Aynsefian and –“

She flinches slightly at that name. Now we’re getting somewhere.

I continue. “- I put together a device of sorts and then the world froze, I lost all my senses and now I’m here. I know you, but I don’t know how and I have no context around how I know you. Like, where you’re from, or what this place is, or anything like that. Do you have any explanations that make sense for all of that? I mean, why was I dreaming of you and now how do I know your name?”

“What’s an Ay Eye?” she asks. She’s really not helping.

“You don’t … you have no ships with programmable human-like interfaces that talk to you… here? Wherever we are?”

“No,” she says. “I don’t know what a ship is. We all live here, and this is all we have. We live together in harmony.”

“Who’s we?” I ask.

Myralin shrinks backwards away from we somewhat. She looks away, concern crossing her features. She turns to me again, brightening.

“I’ve got some people who you can meet. Come with me.”

She gets up, and I follow her. She’s walking into a nearby building that I didn’t notice before this. I’m still feeling the truth of her name and that I know her, but all of the details surrounding this knowledge are absent and unobtainable. I’m watching her form from behind. She walks slowly and gracefully, her straight blonde hair gently moving against her back as she does so. She turns briefly to ensure I’m following her.

The building she’s walking into resembles the ones I saw in the little village at the base of the cliff. There is crystal on the windows this time, unlike before. The surrounding forest looks different than I remember from that village and there is no watercourse. Even the cliffs look different.

I walk into the building. The furnishings are simple but homely. There is a couch in front of me and a square, wooden table and some chairs in the middle of the room. The wall is adorned with a large tapestry in a purple and indigo spiral pattern. A yellowish crystal lights up the room from the far corner.

Sitting on the couch are my parents.

I’m shocked. This is Aynsefian. How are they here?

They rise from their seated position. My mother is the first to speak.

“Xa muus fanfii”, she says.

My mother is speaking gibberish. It’s disconcerting because she’s never done that before.

“Sorry?” I ask.

I look at my father. Maybe he can explain why my mother is speaking a strange language.

“Dad?” I ask. “Is Mum okay?”

“Koum xa tiin tok? Kau’an taooki,” he replies.

I literally flinch backwards. This can’t be happening. I don’t know where I am, or why I know Myralin, and now my parents are unexplainably here, talking in a weird tongue of sorts.

Am I sure I’m not dreaming?

As sure as I’ll ever be. The only thing that could explain this is the weird switches in reality that I experienced before I got to this place. Wherever this place is.

I turn back to Myralin. She’s gone. Just like in my dream back on the planetary surface. She appears, my attention is distracted by my parents, and then she disappears. There’s a few extra elements this time. The location is different, and I know her. I know her for sure. Nonetheless, I’m even more confused than I was before.