Aynsefian

Captain Fen steps towards me, looking grave. For some reason she is not armed. I can’t tell if the others are or not. I pause for a moment as another notion crosses my mind.

I can’t do it. I can’t kill another person.

It doesn’t matter that it might save my life. It doesn’t matter that I’m attracted to her. Even if I wasn’t, I still couldn’t do it. I said I wouldn’t, for starters. I wouldn’t seek revenge. Her initial tone and words just now come back to me. She is not angry with me or even insane. She is implying that her former behaviour with us done for a specific reason. Perhaps it was an act and she was forced into it. Then in that case she may not be the sort of person I assumed she was.

I hope for this outcome.

Then I think of Nikse. This woman in front of me, or her crew, destroyed my beloved AI. This beautiful AI that I had loved so dearly. In addition to that, she left us for dead. How can I possibly forgive all of that? Sure, I will honour my former vows to not seek revenge. That does not mean I’m not angry and wanting answers.

“How could you do that to us?” I almost spit at her. She stops walking towards me. Her expression changes. She is showing concern and perhaps … is that… compassion? It stills me for a moment.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t try to kill you right now,” I almost growl. I have to say it. It feels like the only way to release all the anger, hurt and hardship I’ve gone through in the past week. I have to express some anger that I and my friends nearly died because of her.

Captain Fen’s expression remains compassionate. I’m intrigued, despite myself. She’s still regarding me gently and with patience, as if permitting me to express as much anger as I want to.

“I don’t know how I would do it, but hypothetically speaking, I would if I could.” My voice is losing its anger.

“Axin…” she begins. Her use of my name has a tender edge to it. Where does this come from? She doesn’t even know me. I wasn’t expecting this sort of reception. It is most perplexing and I’m struggling to understand it.

“…what would Nikse think if she heard you talk this way?”

She must be joking. How can she joke about something like that?

“What would … You’ve got to be kidding me! You killed her!” I cry.

“No I didn’t.” She gestures back behind her. “She’s in here.”

“She’s what?” I ask, stunned. This makes no sense. For a moment I remember that there are other people around us. For the last few moments my world has been just her and me.

“She’s in here. I didn’t kill her.” She seems genuine. Then again, maybe she’s just a really cruel person and this is an act, and she’ll reveal her true colours once it’s over.

“I… I don’t believe you. I saw her control centre… you… you…” I can feel tears in my eyes again.

“Look Fernea, you’re all dirty and tired and you probably haven’t eaten or slept properly in days. You’re not gonna be thinkin’ straight, are you? Now step inside with us, and you can meet your long-lost friend, yeah?”

Is this a trap? Do I trust her? I’m at a loss. I look at Cindlyss and then Arlyss. They have curious looks on their faces again. They are studying Captain Fen as well. She glances at them and changes her expression – or should I say, her body language – and seems to be gesturing to them. It’s similar to the way I do it, but it seems more sophisticated. I don’t know what’s going on at all. This is all getting weirder by the minute.

I feel I should go with Captain Fen and her crew. It could be a trap, but again, I trust the Purlinians. They seem to be at ease now. I don’t know what she did, but she convinced them it’s safe.

I have some very important unanswered questions still hanging in the balance, including why she left us for dead, and why she was so cruel to us, but I’m intrigued enough by her exchange with my companions to trust her. For now.

I still have the rocks in my pocket. I don’t want to use them, though.

My next unanswered question is how she saved Nikse. I saw her control centre for myself. It was burnt beyond recognition.

Wait. Beyond recognition.

Did she do a switch of some sort while we were unconscious and being transferred here to AA48103? To Aynsefian? It’s possible.

Feeling unsure, but willing to give her a chance to explain herself. I give my assent with a nod. My stomach is still knotted and my uneasiness is far from over.

“Okay, Captain Fen. Okay. I’m still really angry and confused, and I have a thousand questions, but we’ll come aboard.”

“Please, call me Zarasena,” she smiles. Her intelligent brown eyes radiate warmth at this, and I’m torn once more. She really is nice to look at.

I have to look away. What the hell is going on here? This woman captures us, drugs us, banishes us and nearly kills us, and then when I meet her, I’m attracted to her? It’s bizarre. Yes, okay so I’m probably not asexual after all. I really never did think about it much. Maybe I never met the right person.

I can’t be having these thoughts, though. I still believe that my life is in danger. I don’t care that the Purlinians have reacted positively to her. I still don’t trust her.

“Okay, Zarasena.” I’m resigned now. I’m far from comfortable, however. I’m intrigued by her mention of Nikse, though. I feel as if this is not a joke. Did she switch AIs perhaps, between my ship and hers? They do look similar so the AI components are possibly interchangeable.

If this has really happened, then I’m about to reconnect with a lost love of mine. One who I have since mourned and then disavowed as being unhealthy for me. It’s a decidedly uncomfortable feeling. Nonetheless, to hear her beautiful voice again would be pure joy. I have to try this. I take some more steps forward, my brow no longer furrowed in anger.

Zarasena smiles again, then pauses. “Thank you for trusting me. I have much to tell, and it’s been a bloody hard road, I tell ya, getting here. You have no idea.”

I’m walking numbly towards her now. She holds out her hand in greeting. I shake it. Her hand is small and gentle in mine.

Touching it sends a slight shiver through my body. I don’t know why, but I feel privileged to have just touched her. It’s a strange sensation.

“Axin Fernea, please meet my crew. This is Anathusa, my navigator and Jinekali, her husband. He has an envoy role and he also… well, it’s complicated. I’ll explain later. This little fella is Lanemu. He’s my drinks waiter, but he does other stuff too.”

Anathusa and Jinekali simply smile warmly at me as they shake my hand and don’t speak. This is clearly Zarasena’s game, all of it.

Lanemu does not offer his hand. He simply bows. I am unsure how to respond to his solemnity. I bow in return. I feel somewhat awed in his presence, and I don’t know why. She said he was simply her drinks waiter. What is that? He’s on board only to bring her drinks? That’s kind of a strange role. There’s a lot more to all of this than meets the eye.

I step forward again, ready to go on board.

“Fernea…” she says. Her use of my last name is a mild admonishment. I wish she’d use my first name. “Aren’t you going to introduce my to your companions?”

Aah, yes. I feel a little foolish. I blame it on my exhaustion and the trauma of the past week. Trauma that she caused.

“Sorry. I’m tired and undernourished. You can hardly blame me, can you?” I feel bad for bringing the tone of things down, given that Zarasena is clearly trying hard to make amends, but I feel as if I have a point. “This is Cindlyss, and this is Arlyss. They have been travelling with me and helping me explore other planets.” That feels like a dumb statement, but there, I said it.

“Of course they have.” Anathusa responds this time. Her voice is more girly than Zarasena’s, and is more, shall I say, educated? She sounds upper class and reserved, whereas Zarasena is more familiar and almost jovial. “And… who’s your little companion?”

Anathusa has nodded towards Salvation. “Aah. He’s our surface probe. I call him ‘Salvation’. He brought us here to this cave. He saved our lives.” I feel pangs of love for him as I say these words.

Zarasena chuckles. “He did, did he? You have quite the story to tell us, then, haven’t you? I’m sure Nikse will be keen to hear of it. She’s been a tad worried about you, you know.” Zarasena’s words remind me again that I’m about to be reunited with my ship. Well, the AI portion of it anyway. Unless Zarasena is lying and this is all some horrible joke.

I get the feeling it isn’t. The words we’ve spoken in the last few minutes have eased a lot of that. The pain of the past week and the near-death struggle is still fresh, though, and it hurts. It was all so unnecessary.

She can smile all she likes at me and show compassion for the rest of the day and the next. It won’t fix things. What will is some answers, and they’d better be good. Then we’ll see.

She turns her back on me, as do her crew. I resist the urge to touch the rocks in my pocket. That was never going to happen, so I really don’t know why I did it. Now I feel like an idiot, and I have to lie perhaps about why I have them. I was collecting them, maybe?

Stepping on board feels similar to stepping into Nikse, but this is a more luxurious and well-appointed ship than she ever was. It feels like an upgrade. This ship is quite a bit larger, too. Maybe it’s a newer model in the same line? But it’s their ship. So how does that all work?

Immediately as I step inside the door I hear a voice that I thought I would never hear again.