Avenge

I heard the sounds of beeping and people talking. I decided to just listen in on the conversation.

“Doctor, what happened to her? What are the results?” That was Zion speaking.

“Your Majesty, I spoke to her Beta—also her childhood friend—at length. But due to the patient’s confidentiality, there’s only so much I can tell you. From what I gathered from her Beta and the events of the rogue attack, this was a buildup of extreme anxiety, culminating in an unbearable panic attack. The rush of adrenaline and the power of her traumatic memories crashing together was too much for her to bear, and she collapsed into unconsciousness.” The doctor stated firmly.

“I knew it had to be something. She is the Blood Wolf. She has fought many and never lost. Doctor what do you mean a clash of traumatic memories.” Zion asks the doctor.

“I am sorry your majesty. Patient’s confidentiality is very important. That is her story not mine to tell. I have other patients to check on. Please notify me when she awakes.” The doctor says before I hear the sound of the door signaling him leaving.

“Bryce, do you know anything?” Zion asks.

“I am sorry Zi. That is her story and hers alone to tell you. When she is ready.” Bryce says making me realize he can be trusted.

“I do not think she will ever be ready Bryce. She is so closed off she doesn’t even realize what she is doing to herself.” Zion says sadly.

“Zi, I know it is hard. My mate is in the next room healing from his injuries. He’s awake but it is still scary. What you can know is that the female she killed, her name is Charolette. I guess she was Ethan’s chosen mate. They grew up together and was Jackson and Ciana’s best friend. So they thought. Until today they thought she was dead.” Bryce said to Zion.

The memories of my childhood flooded through my mind. Char, Jackson, and I running through the forest while my mom was in wolf form tracking us. Hide and seek tag. Then our first dance as freshmen in school. Sleepovers. Our birthday parties. We were the three stooges.

I never knew what she went through at home. I wish she would have just spoken to me. I loved Char like my own sister. Here I am talking about how I wish she would have been honest with me but I cannot be honest with anyone. Pot calling the kettle black. I open my eyes to see Bryce and Zion standing at the foot of my bed whispering.

“Br-Bryce. Can I have a moment alone with Zion? Please.” I croak out.

“Of course Alpha Ciana.” Bryce says as he pats Zion on the shoulder and walks out of the room.

Zion’s eyes held so many emotions but the most prominent one was sadness. I felt Aella’s emotions as well. I took a deep breath before speaking.

“Zion, please.” I say motioning to the seat next to me.

“Now, I will tell you everything but let me finish.” I tell him and he nods.

I take a deep breath trying to keep myself calm.

“Well, as you know my name is Ciana Anderson. My father was the Alpha of Primrose Pack. On the day of my eighteenth birthday my dad had another pack coming over for business matters. The Blacks from Black Rose Pack. That is where I met Ethan for the first time and found he was my mate. I was ecstatic. The moment all wolves dream about finding the other half of their soul.

He had to do business with his parents and his older brother. So, Jackson and I went to the mall and spent the day together to let them finish their business. We were gone most of the day. When we returned I knew something was wrong. I felt it in my gut. I had Jackson hide at our tree house as I went to investigate.

When I got to packhouse my heart dropped. There was blood and bodies everywhere. They were all dead. Everyone I loved. My friends, family, my pack. In the middle of them all next to my parents bloody bodies was Ethan. He was covered in blood and smiling. The look in his eyes was soulless.

He rejected me and I ran in fear. He sent his goons after me. I do not know how but I forcibly shifted for the first time. Aella formed. She killed his henchmen and we ran. We ended up at Dark Mountain. Just Jackson and me. I was awakened by Jackson to a group of our old pack who managed to escaped.

They looked up to me. They needed me. Deep down I needed them. Caring for everyone I just put those feelings deep down and focused on my revenge. It kept me going. It is what still keeps me going.

Then seeing Charolette. The betrayal hit me like a ton of bricks. She was my best friend and she was in on it. Destroying her own pack, her family, and friends. Then Jackson was hurt. I don’t know if I can keep up anymore. I am mentally exhausted.” I say to him.

I feel the tears staining my cheeks. I try to keep looking down at myself twirling my thumbs around. I am feeling so many emotions and I just spilled it all out to a stranger.

“Ciana, being an Alpha is not easy. Believe me I know. It comes with proud moments but it is a hassle. You have to put everyone before yourself. That you have done. It is okay to think of yourself and take time to heal Ciana. What you went through I could not imagine. I cannot speak about how you should react, how you should feel. No one can tell you that.

Things will not be easy but Ciana, but you need to grieve. Building this inside yourself is like a ticking time bomb. You need to take care of yourself. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. The more you hold on to this without letting something out, it will eat you alive.” Zion said before standing up.

“When I first heard about the blood wolf I spoke with Elders and Oracles, to learn and gain knowledge. All of them say the same thing. They agree the blood wolf was born from chaos, pain, sadness, and anger. So I know you are going through more than what you let out for people to believe.” He says.

“I am not rushing you on anything Ciana. You need to take time for you.” He is right. I need to. I just don’t know how.

“Jackson is doing fine. Get you some rest. We will talk tomorrow. Good night Ciana.” Zion said then he exits the room.

Since that incident I have never focused on me. I do not know how anymore. How do I focus on myself mentally. Emotionally. This isn’t easy. I do not know where to begin with this stage of myself. I am so lost and confused. I just do not know what to do anymore. Zion is right about one thing. I need to rest and think with a clear head in the morning.