Artificial Heart

He wasn’t wearing his helmet and all she could think was how much of him she’d forgotten. The distortions. The metal. Those out of sync blinking eyes. In her memories, he was so much more perfect and wondrous and unbelievable—and yet, somehow so much less because of it.

Prisha much preferred the real thing. Her heart kicked against her ribs. All she wanted to do was rush over and touch him. Just to be sure he was real. That this all wasn’t just another one of her silly dreams.

‘Why did you take so long?’ Her voice choked again.

‘I must. I missed you also.’

He stood. Prisha’s breath hitched in her throat as he came over. He stopped, standing in the middle of the floor, as though he didn’t know what to do. His red eye glowed. His brown eye was shining.

Prisha closed the gap. She shut her eyes. Then they were holding each other, and Prisha wasn’t sure who reached for whom first.

‘Mmm,’ she breathed into his hard shoulder. She turned her face and smelled his suit, savouring it. Hard to believe that he was anything but a man. He felt normal. Smelled normal. He was warm. She opened her eyes. He was gazing at her. His lashes hung heavy and low over his organic eye.

Prisha smiled. ‘What have you been doing, Alf? Causing more trouble, no doubt.’ She chuckled.

‘No trouble. Waiting. Contact has been made.’

‘Waiting for what?’

He didn’t answer.

She bit her lip. ‘Another meeting, you mean?’

He gazed at her steadily.

Prisha sighed. ‘And it’ll be all about me again, huh? Same time? Same place?’

He continued to stare, unblinking. There was something different about the set of his mouth. There was a new crease between his eyes.

Prisha cocked her head. ‘What’s wrong? You look strange. What are you think—’

He leaned in and Prisha almost jumped as he pressed his lips to her forehead. Giddy laughter choked her throat. ’What was that for?’

‘I do not know. I wanted to.’

Prisha’s heart was pounding in her chest, in her throat, behind her eyes, deep down in her hips. She felt it everywhere. He cheeks felt like little flames.

It felt like there was a hunk of chalk lodged in her throat. ’Oh.’

His eyes twitched over her. The red of his artificial eye flashed. It felt like she was being x-rayed. Maybe she was, she suddenly thought.

‘You are malnourished,’ he said.

‘I am? I finished your sachets two days ago. But I’ve been eating!’ she said quickly as he left to go into the “bench room”. He returned with another metal box.

‘Do you have a stash of these like the blankets? What else have you got stocked away?’ He set it down on the bench by the controls. ‘What about you?’ She frowned. ‘I shouldn’t be taking your food.’

‘I have enough. More is replicated daily.’

‘Replicated?’ Prisha’s eyebrows shot up. What humanity wouldn’t give for technology like that! ‘You said you were going to help us? How? With something like this?’

Starvation would end!

‘Perhaps,’ he said.

‘Perhaps, what?’

‘I want to help. I have not decided.’

‘You haven’t decided?’

‘I must be careful.’

‘Careful of what? You don’t have a choice!’

‘It could be dangerous. Your species cannot be trusted.’

‘Civilisation collapsing is a dangerous thing too!’ Prisha grabbed onto his arm. ’Please.’

‘You should get some rest.’

He tried to pull away but Prisha wouldn’t let him go. ‘Absolutely not. Not like this! Alf! You have to help us!’

He looked down at her hand. ‘Let go.’

‘No!’ She grabbed the same arm with her other hand.

Slowly, he reached out and grabbed her wrist. She felt a pressure in her palm and then her fingers went numb. Prisha gasped and let him go, stepping away. She shook her hand, trying to make the feeling return.

‘That wasn’t nice, Alf,’ she said.

‘You must rest.’

’No! What are you going to do to me? What have you done to me? The last time I was here a whole day. Why did you take me so early?’ She allowed herself to sound angry. She allowed herself to feel angry. He deserved it.

‘Data collection,’ he said.

‘You told me you were finished with your data collection.’

‘I was mistaken.’

’What have you done to me? What have you been doing to me?’ Prisha narrowed her eyes. ‘You’ve been experimenting on me—again. What have you done?’

‘I fixed you.’

‘More than my heart? What exactly needed fixing? Are you going to do it again to me tonight? When I’m asleep?’

He didn’t respond.

‘I shouldn’t have trusted you,’ she said.

‘I would not hurt you.’

‘I was in the hospital, Alf.’

‘I have not hurt you.’

Prisha shook her head. ‘Enough of this. Let’s get this over and done with. How long before the next meeting? What am I going to say this time?’ She frowned. ‘Or is there even a point?’

‘Approximately twelve of your Earth hours rounded back. You will greet them the same as before. There is no need to speak—if you do not want to. You will give them this.’

He slid out something from the pocket in the forearm of his suit. He held it up for her to see. Prisha squinted. She knew almost nothing about computers and the like but it looked like some kind of chip.

‘What is it?’ Prisha said.

‘Data.’

Prisha had to force back an eye roll. ‘Will it help us?’

He slid it it back into the pocket of his forearm. ‘You can have it in twelve hours.’ His red eye beamed. ’There is a point.’

‘Yeah. Sure. Depending on how you feel about us, right?’ Prisha’s forehead puckered. ‘That’s it, isn’t it? You’re wondering whether we’re worth saving or not.’

He didn’t answer.

‘What’s it going to take?’

‘You need to rest.’

‘I am not going to rest! Tell me, Alf, what’s it going to take?’

He took her wrist and began dragging her over to the room with the bench.

‘What are you doing? I’m not going in there! Stop!’

Prisha sagged against his grip, using all her bodyweight to stop him. He simply turned and lifted her into his arms. Prisha squawked. She kicked and screamed but his strength was extraordinary. He laid her on the bench. The restraints slithered around her wrists and ankles, pulling her tight against its surface so she could hardly move.

‘Alf, stop it! You can’t do this!’

‘I must.’ His brow was furrowed. His brown eye was shining again but in a different way. He couldn’t look at her. ‘I am sorry.’

‘Alf!’

He pressed a mask over her face. Prisha held her breath but it was pointless. It was only moments when her eyes slid shut and she knew nothing but darkness.

The next time she opened her eyes, she was gazing up at a darkened ceiling brightened by twinkling lights. The mask was gone. Everything was quiet. There was one of Alf’s space blankets wrapped tightly around her. She could move her arms and legs, no restraints. He’d moved her; she was lying in the softness of the little bed. Much more comfortable than the hard metal bench.

Prisha blinked and turned her head at the sound of gentle tapping. Alf was sitting at the controls, bent over the screen, fingers tapping gently against it. Prisha didn’t move. Her lip trembled. A tear rolled down her cheek.

‘I thought you were a good guy,’ Prisha croaked.

The tapping stopped.

‘Good and bad is subjective,’ he said.

‘Not all things. Not this.’

Slowly, she sat up. She felt normal. No pain. No dizziness. She looked down at her body. Her pyjamas were intact. She wriggled her toes. She could feel her phone and keys pressing against her hip.

‘It had to be done.’

‘Why?’

Alf was silent for a long time.

‘Alf …’

‘You boarded my ship. My instructions were clear: examine the lifeform; recapture and re-assess consecutively as needed.’ He turned in his seat. He fixed his eyes upon hers as he lowered his voice. ‘We are being monitored.’

The back of Prisha’s neck prickled. She looked over her shoulder, then around the ship. She shivered. ’We’re being watched? They can see us now?’

‘No. Not like that. They monitor my location and my resources. They have sensors that distinguish different lifeforms. They retrieve my data. Nothing must trigger their suspicions.’

Prisha stared at him. ‘So, you collect me when you’re supposed to.’ Not because you want to.

He nodded.

Something sagged in Prisha’s chest. ‘And you do what needs to be done to fulfil their criteria. What happens if you don’t?’

‘I will be ordered to return to command. Once they have discovered what I have done, they will eliminate me.’

The air whooshed from Prisha’s lungs. ‘Jesus, Alf! Why didn’t you tell me this before?’

‘You did not need to know.’

He turned and faced Earth. Wrapping his blanket around her shoulders, Prisha got up and joined him. She stood behind him as they watched it together. It seemed so calm, so peaceful from afar. Almost like it was completely bereft of life. Of strife. No conflict. No violence. No death. No billions upon billions of creatures struggling to survive. No love or happiness or fun.

Just … peace.

Four days. Data collection.

‘You’re not meant to make contact, are you?’ Prisha suddenly said. ‘I mean, with us, as a species.’

He didn’t respond.

She tried to remember that first night. Those questions he’d asked. Tell me about your world. But he already knew about her world. He’d told her himself: intel. He’d received their intel. Millions of messages.

Tell me about you.

‘You weren’t meant to wake me up either,’ she whispered. ‘That was not part of your plan.’

His back was stiff. He was focused way too hard on the view ahead, even for him.

How long have you been out on this ship alone?

Longer than your lifetime.

Aren’t you lonely?

A lump swelled in Prisha’s throat.

‘Thank you,’ Prisha said, careful to keep her voice even. ’For caring about us. For caring about me.’

‘I do not want your species to fail.’

Prisha’s heart lurched. ‘I’m sorry. For being angry. I’m glad you took me. I’m glad you woke me up. I’m very glad to be here.’

‘I am glad also.’

Prisha quickly turned, pretending to brush the hair out of her face as she wiped her eyes.

‘Scheduled contact is close,’ Alf said.

Prisha took a shuddering breath.