. Apostasy . A Luna's Struggle

mature content - addiction, depression, intoxication

Downstairs, Anulla still had the unoccupied guest rooms to dust and their linens to freshen. And she was to clean the large banquet room. She was surprised to find a very large wolf, sitting with his feet up on the dining table smoking a cigar. He watched her with dark eyes as she cleaned the room around him.

“What is your name, pretty thing?” He asked blowing a smoke ring.

“I am Anulla, sir,” she answered softly.

“Are you one of them service girls?” He eyed her collar suspiciously, “Because we were told we could have the ones wearing red collars and orange collars, but not the purple or blue collars. They didn’t say anything about a black collar.” He rubbed his long sideburns with his eyebrow raised.

“I am.” She wondered if he was one of the new rogues, because he didn’t smell like a rogue at all, he smelled... good.

He pulled her into his lap, lifting her hair to one side, running his thumb over Orion’s latest bite. “And the black collar, darlin’?”

The wine must be making her stupid because she didn’t feel repulsed by his touch. “The black collar means that I am still in my years of service, but that the Monarch wolf may kill you if he catches you screwing me.”

He drew a long breath from his cigar and watched her face as he spoke, “So it is true, the mad monarch will let anyone screw his own luna.” His fingers felt rough as they traced her cheek and jaw. “What does he have you on, darlin’?”

“I’m sorry sir, I don’t understand,” she murmured, unable to look away from his eyes, they were the deepest shade of green she had ever seen.

“Your eyes, darlin’. You’re higher than a gull over the gulf.”

“I don’t know what you mean, I do not feel higher.” She had no idea what he was talking about.

“He has to drug you to make you obey. Keep you drugged to make you stay. Does he treat you like a proper mate in any way? Has he ever shown you any kindness?” His question made her uncomfortable, but at her silence, he frowned sadly, “I’ll take that as a no. Someone should show you how a mate should be treated.”

Anulla blushed deeply. He continued to hold her as he finished his cigar, she squirmed to get out of his lap, she felt his manhood harden and she stilled.

“Do you wish to be serviced, sir, or may I return to my other duties?” She still had to do a quick dusting of the guest rooms before dawn or tomorrow’s work would be double.

He squeezed her butt and she squeaked in surprise, he chuckled. The sound vibrated through her body and she felt a strange warmth pooling between her legs. The stranger’s eyes darken, and she knew he could smell her. He bit onto his cigar stump and lifted her in his arms. In moments, he was kicking a guest room door shut behind him.

“Don’t move.”

She stood still as he unzipped her dress and slid it off her shoulders. His fingers traced the scars left by years of silver whip lashes. He seemed saddened by the lines on her skin.

“Oh Darlin’,” he breathed out, pressing the first of many kisses into her flesh.

That night she was sexed gently for the first time in her life. Kissed gently, held in between passions, as they spoke in whispered voices. After the third time, she fell asleep in his arms, not knowing if she could believe this time was real, she was so lost in this feeling.

-^^^^^-

It was almost dawn when he stood in the shadow of the bailey yard. Victor handed him a pouch, he sniffed then grabbed him by the coat, “What did you do, Uncle Logan?”

The broad, dark wolf just smiled and took his nephew’s hand from his lapel, “Just showed a little lady how a real wolf should treat his mate.”

Victor slapped his forehead, “Oh for the love of the Goddess, you are going to get us all killed.”

Logan chuckled around his cigar, “Couldn’t help it, I never had a Luna before. I think she’s ruined me for all my favorite whores.”

Victor swore colorfully before he turned to stomp away. But Logan called after him, “Nephew, he needs to stop drugging her. It is killing her wolf.”

He held out Anulla’s small flask. Victor took it and dabbed a taste on his tongue before spitting repeatedly. “He’s giving her this?!?”

“That’s what she told me. Whole freaking goblets of it. She has been stealing sips of it to feel numb so she can cope. She’s addicted, her wolf’ll be dead in one or two months if she doesn’t stop,” Logan warned.

Before Victor can reply, voices have him looking over his shoulder, when he turned back his uncle was gone.

-^^^^^-

Anulla woke up alone in a guest room. She stretched languidly. Her head ached slightly, but she felt wonderful. Last night was unlike anything she had ever experienced. She hurried into the bath and scrubbed Logan’s scent off her skin, she could at least protect him from Orion’s wrath. She quickly cleaned the room, opened the window, and changed the linens. His cigar butt rested on the mantle, she picked it up and smelled it. The door nob turned and she dropped the stub of tobacco into the fireplace. Turning to face Orion as she wiped the mantle with a cloth. There was no dust because she had cleaned these rooms only a few days ago but she did it anyway. She bowed her head to him. Focusing her mind completely on her cleaning.

“What are you doing in here, Anulla?” He growled.

“Finishing cleaning the guest rooms, Monarch.”

His eyes darted around the room suspiciously, then he slammed the door as he left. She breathed out a sigh of relief, her head was starting to hurt, so she reached in her pocket, but her flask was gone. Search as she might she couldn’t find it in the guest room or the dining hall. So she carried linens into Orion’s room and changed the bedding as an excuse to sneak into his pleasure room for several swallows of the bewitching wine. Humming slightly, she went about the rest of her day’s task, and service duty.

Hours later when her hands started to tremble and the numbness wore thin, she sipped more from a small bottle. She did not realize Matthias and Victor were watching her carefully.

In the following days, she didn’t see Logan again. He wasn’t with the rogues she saw Victor and Orion evaluating. Or with the dormed warriors when she took them their weekly change of linens.

After a week, she convinced herself that Logan was just a dream bought on by her need to feel loved and cherished and too much wine. It made her heart ache that she felt so alone, she wanted to feel nothing, to feel numb.

Soon she needed more frequent sips of the tainted beverage. Her sessions with Orion began to require a second glass which she usually drank before he came to her. She didn’t notice that she could no longer hear her wolf, she just wanted to be numb.

-^^^^^-

Orion was away again and Aunlla was hurting from being the service girl targeted most by the rogues. Anulla had run out of the sweet wine from his pleasure room, and she could find none anywhere in the castle. She had even searched the wine cellar but none of the bottles matched the ones she needed, and the regular wine just didn’t help. In desperation, she had rinsed the bottles with water to get what little of the wine was left.

Anulla vomited until she was sure her toenails were going to end up in the basin. She trembled as her body fevered but she forced herself to get up, she had laundry duty today. With her head feeling like it would split open, she went to the laundry room.

Amy, Victor’s mate found her on the floor at the bottom of the stairs in the laundry room, convulsing. Her screams for help brought several of the servants and warriors. Victor carefully carried Anulla to Odette. The old healer gave her a bitter draught, and she roused momentarily.

“Luna Anulla, what has made you so sick?”

Anulla blinked and her eyes lolled, it felt like Orion was punching her in the back of the head repeatedly. “Just... just the wine... the Monarch gives me. It makes me numb, ” She mumbled before she rolled on her side and began dry heaving.

“Luna Anulla, where does he keep it?” Matthias asked.

“In the black... the black cabinet of his t-t-t-torture r-room.”

Victor and Matthias looked at each other. “My Luna, there is no such thing in the dungeons,” Victor revealed.

“N-no, in his b-b-bedroom,” Anulla managed to get out between gags and gasps.

Victor ran to the Monarch’s bedroom, he opened the double doors to a room he had never seen. He blinked in horror at the place. In the black cabinet, are a dozen strange pinkish glass bottles, all were empty, but he picked them up and hurried back.

Odette sniffed them and looked up confused, “They have been rinsed clean. I do not know what was in them.”

Victor pulled the small flask Logan gave him from his pocket, lying, “There was this.”

Odette smelled it and looked horrified. “Luna, have you been drinking this every day?”

Anulla lunges at the old healer trying to get the flask, half-growling, half-screaming, “Give it to me, I need it. I NEED IT!” Her eyes were wide and wild.

They all watched horrified as she sucked the contents of the flask, in moments, her eye lids droop and she sighed contentedly, “I need it to be numb, I need it... I...need.” And she fell asleep murmuring.

“What is that vile liquid?” Matthias demanded.

Odette scowled. “A soul poisoning brew made from opium poppy extract, peyote buttons, cannabi buds, valeria root, wolfsbane and elderberry wine. I need the Dungeon Masters.”

In moments, the two hooded scarred giants were dwarfing the old healer as they waited for her demand. She handed them the flask and points at the bottle, “Miles, Walsh, the witch who made these tried to poison our Luna, and harm the Monarch. Find her and bring her, if you can. If she has more of that potion I need it to save the Luna’s life. The ingredients grow in a great valley to the south and east.”

Two enormous dark wolves fell into existence from the forms of the giant men. They sniffed the flask then sniffed and licked the bottles. Growling slightly to each other they turned and were gone with a thunder of paws.

“Amy and I will get started on a treatment to keep the Luna alive, but I need more of the potion to make the antidote and she will have to take small amounts for several weeks. I think since the Monarch gave her the potion, he should be the one to give her the antidote and care for her during her recovery.” Odette insisted, Matthias only nodded. If he had known what it was, he never would have let the Monarch make the Luna drink it.

“Healer Odette, what does it do? We have been watching her for a month and all she does is go around in a daze and hums. We didn’t even know where she was getting it or what it was. We didn’t know it was in the Monarch’s private rooms.” Victor revealed.

“It is very addictive to mind and body. It makes the brain believe pain is pleasure, it takes away all ability to resist suggestion, and worst of all, it makes the drinker completely uncaring and numb as their wolf slowly dies. She will be very sick for several weeks and may still die from withdrawal syndrome. She will hallucinate, scream, fight, cry, and fever until she dies or recovers. Matthias, call the Monarch, ask him where he got it and tell him to link the witch’s name to Miles and Walsh. He needs to return as soon as possible. His wolf might be able to revive her wolf if it isn’t too late.”

Hours later, Amy was holding a cup of nausea-relieving tea to Anulla’s trembling lips. She couldn’t seem to keep anything down. “Just let me die Amy, I’m broken, and I can’t do this anymore.”

“I can’t do that Luna, we need you. We need you to save us, to restore the Goddess,” Amy whispered, placing a cool cloth on her head.

Anulla turned her face away, letting her tears run into her sweaty hair. She doesn’t want to save anyone, she just wants the numbness of her wine... that or death.

::: Many victims of abuse will turn to addictive substances to take their pain away. This only masks their pain and results in more harm done to their bodies and lives later. Getting high or drunk or intoxicated, in never the answer when dealing with abuse. It may make one feel better for a little while, but the problem is not fixed.

One should never have to get intoxicated to do something their lover wants them to do - that is abuse. If you are being abused, don’t get intoxicated, GET AWAY! There are programs through alcoholics anonymous and narcotic addicts anonymous that can help you.::