And her name is…

After an hour I get dressed only so that I can go to the library and look through the history books again. Every time I was given one I’d already read I would get something else to read, but it didn’t help me in my search for answers. I was beginning to think that my friends here would get over my bloodline, but after Tiago’s reaction I’m less hopeful. Nyx may already know, no I’m almost certain she does, but I think the guilt of what I’ve already been through and how she used to be involved in such things keeps her from saying anything. I can’t delude myself into believing I have any actual friend loyalties here right now.

I need to focus on my goals, and my revenge.

I collect a few book, but by the time I’m done looking through all the shelves it’s time for dinner and I bring them with me. Everyone is already at the table and I take my place between Tiago and Nyx. Both of them look at me with the same expression but for very different reasons and it’s a struggle to ignore them.

“What’s going on?” Ignacio asks as he looks between them and me.

I shrug. “I took care of the never weed in the greenhouses.”

Noryth puts his fork down to look at me. “Took care of?”

I nod and smirk, pointing a carrot at him like a knife. “They’re swimming with the fishes tonight,” I mock out in my best tough voice.

He chuckles, Wulfric chuckles, even Ealdian chuckles, but Vera is still brimming with glee while Nyx and Tiago look worried. I pinch their elbows and they jump at the weird feeling before turning to their plates. I wonder if they were talking and exchanged information. This is the sort of instance when I wish my affinity included some kind of mind reading.

“That’s quite a task,” Helion comments.

I have food in my mouth but I still return, “not really,” before swallowing. “I used to do all the weeding back at home. It’s a lot easier removing the pests when they’re dead.”

I’m careful not to look at anyone when I finish speaking but I can still feel all their eyes on me. It was really meant for Ricard, and I’m itching to see his expression but hold strong and keep my head down.

“And she fixed the órtanga flower!” Vera squeals.

“That one that’s supposed to be gold?” Ignacio asks and she nods. “How?”

“I spat on it,” I interrupt. “It’s not just my blood that has magic, it’s why I hate going camping.”

Wulfric chuckles, catching a joke that I had terrible delivery for. Honestly sometimes I should just stop talking. I did catch Helion glare at Wulfric when he laughed though, so I filed that away for later reflection.

“Spat on it?” Noryth confirms and I nod. “Sowhat exactly is your affinity? You just drain life and then expel it in bodily fluids?”

I laugh and give him the look that warns him I’m about to be a smartass. “Wherever I squat in the woods I help defend against deforestation.”

Ignacio spits, Ealdian barks, Nyx snorts, poor Vera I’m sure is red but I’m not looking at her, I’m looking at Noryth and Wulfric. I do hear Tiago start coughing to cover a laugh, and Helion scolding me, but Wulfric is smirking at me and Noryth is grappling for a witty recovery. I quirk my eyebrow, signalling that I’m waiting on him.

“You could prune or grow the foliage however you want-“ Wulfric returns for him, smirking at me -“given what we already know about your..affinity, it seems anything can grow in your presence.”

My face is on fire but apparently my mouth doesn’t get the cue toshutup. “Well, was not expectingthatfrom you, but I suppose you’ve said worse around me so I shouldn’t be surprised.”

He’s smirking, I’m smirking, Noryth is still rethinking his life choices, and Helion is glaring between the two of us. Luckily food is served and there’s a much needed distraction from talking. Everyone seems to be just as hungry as me as well all dive in, and I start to feel more balanced as my stomach fills to match my energy reserves.

Despite everything else I feel happy and energized, but the thought of Wulfric’s innuendo has my cheeks flushing again.

Wulfric says something but someone claps him on the back and he starts coughing roughly. I’m willing to bet the cough hid his word from most, but I still heard him utter ‘cute’ before it started.

I glance at him and find, again, that he’s already looking at me and can’t help but smirk. Another cough brings my attention to Helion who’s looking strongly at me with a strange smirk of his own. It’s more devilish than it usually is and I return his look curiously.

“What is it?”

“I just want to confirm that you’re coming with me to my castle at the end of the week.” His smile is wicked but I don’t understand it.

“Obviously? I need to say bye to Triennia and Sanji.”

I know the question in my look is obvious but he doesn’t answer it, just nodding like he made a stupid mistake. Regardless, I return to my meal until my stomach is full. My whole body feels nearly perfect, but there is that underlying need I can’t completely relieve on my own. I excuse myself and stand, thanking the kitchen staff on their way in, but I’m halted by Helion.

“Theodosine, wait for me. I’ll walk you to your room.”

It’s meant to be an offer but it doesn’t feel like one. Still I’m sure I can get what I want from him so I wait impatiently for him to push away his plate, excuse himself, and meet me at the door to walk out.He kisses me before we go and I startle back a little, not lost in the ruse of marriage that would have kept me still if we were at his house.

Even as he follows beside me he doesn’t say anything for quite a while and I start to wonder if he will say anything before we reach my door. It seems odd that he would offer to walk me without a reason. Usually it’s reminding me of a upcoming trip to his house or something they want me to learn that I already know.Despite me no longer caring that he acted impartially yesterday when I feel he should have been more understanding to my side, I still want him to grovel.

We’ve hit the stairs before he finally says, “Theodosine, please forgive me. I understand why you hate Wulfric so much, and I should have done more. I tried to talk Ignacio into moving the two of them to another residence until we need to leave, but he stands by not taking away Noryth’s right to his room and his choice to who occupies his guest quarters.”

It’s a fair point, and I had just had a similar fear about them taking my own room away. Honestly, Ignacio’s response makes me feel more content in my own space. If he respects Noryth that much, surely he respects Nyx in the same way. A smile creeps over my face with the thought that I may be able to feel secure here, but it quickly dies away when I remembered the way Tiago and Nyx looked at me.

“It’s fine,” I return and I think I actually mean it. “I think me and Noryth developed an understanding this morning, and I will figure things out with Wulfric. He’s a tight and proper ass, but he was never a part of any of the actual torture, at least from what I can remember. I’m not about to get over any of it but I’m strong enough now that they shouldn’t be able to hurt me.”

“ ’Rightand proper’ ,” Helion corrects.

I snort a laugh. “I said what I said. There’s definitely a stick stuck up there somewhere.”

I open the door to my room and he follows me in, chuckling lightly. “Maybe, I don’t know him very well. Though he’s certainly interested in you.”

I scoff. “He’s spent the last half dozen years managing my imprisonment. If he’s looking at me at all it’s because a habit like that is hard to break.”

“Maybe..” he drawls out like he’s not sure. “He was being oddly… sexual? At dinner.”

Again I scoff but I also turn away to hide my face. “He used to drug my dinner nearly once a week. He’s a general without his army and he’s just trying to maintain what control he had over me by reminding me what he’s done.”

Helion comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomach and then rubs his cheek against the top of my head. “He’s drugged you?” I just nod because I already said this yesterday. “Bastard.”

I hate that word. It’s an insult to an individual based on what their parents did or didn’t do. By that logic I’m not a bastard, despite my father not having any involvement in my upbringing and causing me nothing but pain. The man who raised me was a bastard.I kept him alive as long as I could.

Not now.

I walk to the bathroom and splash some water on my face as I wash my hands, and leave the bathroom with the towel as I dry off. I know Helion is still here, but I’m still surprised to see him staring when I pull the towel away. He’s has that look on his face, the one like he’s having déjà vu. I hate that look because, despite being sure he never saw me at Kheliq’s, it makes me feel like I’m missing something.

“What is it?” I ask, drying where the water ran under my chin.

He shakes his head and smiles. “You just remind me of someone, she did as she wanted and didn’t care much for makeup either.”

I run the towel under my eyes carefully. “She sounds intelligent. It just adds a wasteful step to the beginning and end of your day.”

He chuckles out, “she thought the same thing.”

When he’s done laughing I’m hanging the towel over the back of a chair and he’s moved to stand beside me. “Theodosine, you’re beautiful.”

“And you’re very handso….”

“No,” he interrupts me. “I’m not saying it so you’ll say it back. I’m saying it so you’ll believe me.” His hand moves up to touch my face and I let him cup my cheek. “I tell you every time I see you because the woman you remind me of didn’t believe me, and I want you to be different.”

He leans in to kiss me, and this time I don’t pull away. His hands move into my hair as my arms wrap around his neck and then I’m kissing him back. After a moment he picks me up and holds me against his chest to move us across the room. I have energy to burn but he’s a little vanilla so I let him move at his pace. Then he brings me to the bed and lays me down in the middle, moving with me to continue laying kisses along my neck.

“I was beautiful,” I return softly, feeling my chest rise and fall with my increasing heartbeat. “Was,” I reiterate, “but then I lived through something I didn’t think I’d survive.”

“But you did live,” he reminds me, “so why not enjoy it?”