And her name is…

Everything that was, is, and I can’t change it, nor can they. That doesn’t mean that I forgive anyone or trust them within an inch of my life. Most of their eyes are trained on me, but I am so used to being watched that it doesn’t even phase me. When you’ve been confined to a cell under constant supervision you realize that taking a shit while maintaining eye contact is the ultimate power move. Contrariwise, sitting on a window sill while people uncover just the head of your iceberg of secrets is nothing.

I turn my hand over when I realize it’s hurting and notice the purpling around my thumb. I look at it curiously and realize in my anger I’d broken it, not even noticing when I’d opened the window or taken the energy from the tree to fix it myself.

When not me nor anyone else says anything, Tiago turns to look at me and tsks his tongue before nudging Nyx.

“Nyx,” I start myself. “I broke my thumb on Noryth’s stupid face. Would you help me? Please?”

She doesn’t hesitate in coming over to me and pulls the thumb into place as she uses her magic to set it.

“Isn’t healing magic typically… painful?” Noryth asks like he knows the answer and is voicing some revelation.

‘No’ and ‘Yes’ are the answers given my myself and Nyx respectively.

I look at her, with one eye brow raised. “Sure it’s uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t saypainful,” I return and look up to Noryth. “You must be a baby.”

“As much as I’m inclined to agree fighter, because he is, every time I’ve had a break healed it has been more thanuncomfortable. We already heal quite fast and, most often, correctly without help. Nyx’s magic both slows that down and speeds it up to heal it perfectly in usually minutes.” He looks around at the others who are agreeing with him. “When she fixed your ankle the first day we met you, we were all extremely surprised that you were just sitting there. And when she told us she fixed your old breaks later at dinner, well… I didn’t believe her at first. I thought for sure I would have heard you screaming hun.”

I believe him only because it’s Tiago, but I don’t look at anyone else. I close my eyes and draw my magic inside myself. It had been creeping out to test them, see if it could make them flinch, and some were still on the edge of panic. The three in front of me trusted me enough to not only turn their backs to me, but stand up for me despite probably feeling that sinister fog of magic at their backs. The only other thing I could sense in the room was from Wulfric who seemed… resigned.

“You were raised with the king. His right hand in everything,” I begin, opening my eyes to see he’s already looking at me. “Why?”

He knows what I mean, and moves right into it. “I told you months ago that I wasn’t sure I was on the right side of things,” he sighs. “I caught Kheliq in a lie, and then another, and another. Those days when I knew he was busy in the prison, I started searching his things and found yet more l didn’t know about. I wasn’t raised with Kheliq, I was raisedforhim. -Intended to be his heir since he could not have one. Apparently, he didn’t see it that way. He was supposed to hand everything over to me and return to his own kingdom that he’s left to his uncle. I thought if I could just wait it out, I could fix everything he was doing when he left. But then I found…”

“Don’t tell her that!” Noryth snipes.

I can’t help it.No.The thought of more secrets has the area around me devoid of colour.Untrustworthy.I’m sitting on the window sill and I feel it sag beneath my weight as the wood starts to rot.Threat.Noryth stiffens as he observes me from across the room, and a trail of rot snakes across the floor toward him.

“Don’t - tell - me - what?” I say slowly and softly.

If he breathed too loudly he wouldn’t have been able to hear me. I feel my magic grab hold around his ankle and he leaps backward, looking at the ground where the floor has started to decay around him.End him.I’m using up everything I got from the tree outside for this trick but it’s worth it. It’s like his fear is feeding me, but I’m still starving.So hungry.

He shrieks, “what the fuck!” But if he had stayed still a minute longer I would have sent him through to the basement.

“Theodosine stop!” Ignacio yells and I no longer have the energy to fight another command.

I try to fight it for a minute anyway and then cough a nasty clot of blood into my hand. Too much up and down of power and my body doesn’t know what to do with itself. I see Helion smack Ignacio and scold him for using his magic against me again.

I wave off Nyx, there’s nothing she can do, there’s no injury to fix.Take more.I try to get her to go back and sit down but she won’t leave me and that makes it worse.Just take.Everything in me is screaming to do anything but just sit here but I can’t bring myself to move.Try!I start taking deep breaths, close my eyes, listen to the confused gardener outside, and sigh deeply.

Shortly after, dinner is brought in as the kitchen staff don’t seem to notice the tension in the room. Or maybe they do, and they think we’re all just hangry. No one says a word, most of the eyes remaining on me as I stay seated on the sill when they moved to sit down. I watch them just as closely.

Nyx takes my hand and pulls me towards the table. I let her, only because it’s Nyx, and Tiago moves over a space to put me between them. I don’t want food, I want to run away and kick and scream and cry at how frustrated I am… But this isn’t my home and I have no where to go. A big part of me worries that the second I try to run to my room they will take it away and it will stop being mine.

“I don’t trust any of you,” I say suddenly as a plate is put in front of me, and the poor server flinches, but I’m looking at the other side of the table as it clearly divides us. “And you clearly don’t trust me, when I don’t feel like I’ve done anything to deserve that….”

“You don’t think keeping a glammer on counts?” Ricard asks, and I honestly forgot he could speak with how quiet he’s been off in the corner.

I shake my head as some others agree with me.

“No one asked,” Wulfric interrupts, looking at me with a look that warns me against saying too much. “You expect everyone you meet to tell you their life story?I’ve done a lot none of you know about.”

He looks at me again and I swear I see the slightest smirk. I’m surprised he’s standing up for me, but more surprised he seems to be nodding at what we’d been doing together before I escaped. My face flushes and I die a little of embarrassment at the thought of him sharing any of those stories.

I sniff the food, feeling my ears twitch as I do. The glammer has been on so long that I forget they can see it until I see Wulfric starring at them. He’s wearing this little smile that curves up at one side.

What - the - fuck.

No one speaks for what feels like forever and then I look to Helion. “Were you lying about letting me kill Kheliq?”

He chokes on his bite but then looks at me. “No. Darling, I would never lie to you.”

“Did you..” I go to ask if he was serious about helping me find my friends… but it’s a dumb question. He would never lie to me.

I’ve only eaten about half my food but my stomach is turning. Carefully, I wipe my fingers on my napkin as I noticed Wulfric didn’t use the cutlery either, and I stand.

“If you’ll excuse me,” I say softly and move to the door.

“Wait,” Helion calls after me, “Theodosine, I’ll walk you to your room.”

He catches me easily and I don’t look back into the room as we go, but I can feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of my head. We’ve climbed to the top of the stairs when Helion scoops me into his arms and I squeak with surprise.

“No shoes?” He asks with a smirk.

I look away, embarrassment heating my face despite still wanting to be mad at him. “I can’t walk in the heals,” I finally admit. “I’ve tried, but the bones in my feet are taking more sessions with Nyx to fix than the rest because I’m always on them.”

“Then maybe I should carry you everywhere until they set,” he threatens and I glare at him.

“Don’t you dare,” I warn. “I wouldn’t let Tiago when I almost passed out and…”

“You almost passed out?” He frets stopping in the middle of the hall to look at me. “When?”

“It was my first day here, before I met you,” I tell him, urging him to put me down but he doesn’t. “When I ruined the end of the table and the head chair,” I add.

I sigh with relief when he at least starts walking again. “I don’t understand how that works. Taking energy from the table is bad but the tree outside is okay?”

I nod, not wanting to fully give away my weaknesses to him. “It’s not necessarily bad, I can do it, but it takes more energy than it gives.”

Once we reach my room he gestures for me to open the door while he holds me, and then he closes the door behind us. Helion crosses the room and crawls onto the bed as he lays me down. He pins me with his body, propping himself up on his forearms to look at me.

“You know I never would have brought you to dine with them if I’d known right?” He says gently and dips his head to kiss each of my collar bones. “I’d much rather have sequestered you away in my room than put you through that,” he assures.

“I know you wouldn’t lie to me, but I’m still hurt. You didn’t stand up for me,” I pout but it’s only to keep from yelling.

“I know, and I’m sorry about that. I was caught off guard and I didn’t recover well.” He smirks and wiggles his nose into the crook of my neck. “I saw you lay into Noryth’s face though. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

I’m giggling but inside I’m frowning.

Of course I did. I’ve been training with Tiago every day for weeks and I’ve already told you I want to killaking. Why wouldn’t I punch someone in the face?

He moves to kiss me and I hold up my hand. “You think I’m in the mood? You didn’t show me any support in there. I tell you the man responsible for me spending five more years being tortured and the man who watched it all happen are in the same room, and what did you do?” I challenge, but he doesn’t say anything. “Exactly. Please, just go.”

He reaches for my hand and I pull it away.“Darling…” His hurt expression only makes me angrier.

He didn’t care when I was hurt

Finally he gets up to go but pauses. He looks like there’s something he’s considering saying, but after a minute he shakes his head. He leans over to kiss my forehead instead and then stands up straight.

“I’m sorry, Theodosine,” he says gently. “I.. I hope you can forgive me.”

I don’t reply. I don’t trust my mouth with him. He feels like a sad puppy and, as much as he irritates me, I hate seeing him all mopey. Instead I fold my arms and bite the insides of my cheeks.Go.

When the door clicks behind him I get up to lock it, walk calming to the wardrobe, climb in, close the door, andscreamas loudly and as long as I can.

He’s here.

The guy that I had been getting close to in order to use, that ended up not a part of my escape plan, but was part of my rescue, is now sleeping just a few doors away.

Where does this put me? What does he know? Oh my deity.. I told them my last name.

He didn’t bring up anything from my escape, but he would have figured out that I was on the hunt with him when they found Alastair had never left. Which leads me to wonder if the guards I told managed to keep a consistent story and not say my name, or if me draining them caused some memory loss. The latter would be preferred, since I don’t trust them to keep their mouths shut and this new plan would be better off if I hadn’t shared that detail.

I scream twice more before I go to have a shower, but I’m so nervous I can’t bear to close the curtain and block my view of the door. After I’m done and ready for bed I debate between the closet and the bathtub for sleeping. The bathroom gives me an extra door for preparation but if I’m cornered there is no windows.You are an Abigia!I take the closet but fluff my bed so it looks like a body.