Alpha Divided

Everyone took off back to campus after the cake, leaving only my family and Dastien. My parents wanted a little alone time before I went back to the dorm. Even though they knew what was going to happen

tonight in a vague sort of way, they couldn't be there. It was a Were-only thing.

The tension in the house was only getting worse thanks to the cousins’ visit. As I did the dishes, Dad started whispering to Mom about how they should stop the ceremony. Suddenly, the kitchen

seemed too small.

I moved to the wraparound porch and sat on the swing to soak in a little bit of quiet. The screen door screeched. My eyes were closed, but I didn't need to open them to recognize Dastien sitting down
beside me. I could sense it through our bond and the scent in the air—that lovely mix of forest and dirt and him. I rested my head on his shoulder and he nuzzled against me.

“Nervous?” he asked after a moment.

“A little.” Straddling the lines between human, wolf, and witch was hard. Each part pulled me in a different direction. Being with Dastien was easy. Natural. I wasn't worried about that, but the ceremony
symbolized taking the final plunge into my life as a Were, letting it take precedence over everything else.
I knew why Dad was having so much trouble with it. Everything was changing for me. Fast. “I still feel like a kid, you know? And we're basically getting married tonight. When I think about it, it's kind of

crazy”

He lifted his arm so I could scoot closer. I pressed my head to his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat as he ran his fingers through my hair.

“What's making you nervous exactly?”

I blew out a breath. “Honestly?”

“I only ever want the truth from you!” His chest vibrated under my ear as he spoke, his voice low and rumbly.

“just don't laugh.”

“Chérie. I would never laugh.”

That wasn't true at all and we both knew it. He laughed at me all the time. It was a good thing I didn't take it personally. poked his side.

“Ilaugh with you," he said as he chuckled and batted my finger away.

“Everything's changed so quickly. I feel like I'm always racing to catch up.” My nerves wound tighter as I talked, which was why I'd been avoiding this discussion. “I want to hit pause for a bit. Enjoy this

moment. Have some time to grow up.”

His fingers continued to run through my hair, soothing me. I swung my legs over his to get a little closer. I felt his smile through the bond—a jolt of pleasure because I wanted to be closer to him. It made Dastien happy, which settled my nerves 2 little more.

“No one said you have to have everything sorted tonight. We still have time to grow up, but we'll grow up together. As a team.” He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. “Don't forget, I'm only two years older than you"

“I know, but you feel a lot older”

He laughed again. “Thanks?”

I slapped his stomach. “That's not what I meant. It's just that you always seem to have it all figured out."
“I don't have I all figured out, but 'm not a worrier. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to know how everything's going to work out. It's impossible.” He tugged on my hair a little, and I swatted his hand away.

The guy had a point, but that didn't mean I'd stop worrying anytime soon.

I smelled the jasmine in Mom's perfume a moment before she stepped onto the porch. She sat on the swing on my other side, careful not to touch me. It was still ingrained. Growing up, any brush of skin was enough to bombard me with flashes o thoughts and memories. Of everyone in the family, Mom had always been the best at controlling herself around me, mostly because she grew up with my grandmother—the source of my talent.

“So, what's the ceremony like?"

Dastien’s hand found mine, and he squeezed, sending me his support.

“Well, there's one every month. Apparently, everyone gets together and shifts and runs, but some pack business gets taken care of, too. Anything that changes the pack structure.” I hadn't been sure I

was going to go through with the ceremony until after I shifted. Since then, I'd finally had time to ask questions about the process. Dastien and Meredith had been pretty great about filling me in over the
past couple of days.

The only part that I wasn't too into was biting Dastien. Apparently, I had to eat a little bit of the flesh and blood of my mate- completely barbaric and disgusting. Dastien had done his part when he bit
me, but I still had to return the favor. Yuck.

I figured vague was best for the icky part. “We recite some words—kind of like marriage vows—and then it's done. We shift and take an evening run." I sat up, moving my legs from Dastien’s lap. “I know it's a lot to accept, but Dad seems pretty not okay with the whole thing”

She shrugged. “You're still his baby. We figured we'd have years before we had anything like this come up, and that was if yo could ever let someone get close to you!"

Yeah. I hadn't been too sure about the whole being-able-to-have-a-boyfriend thing either. Before, it'd seemed like a long shot at best. “I don't want to upset him."

“He's not upset.”

Isat up enough to look at her. “We both know he is."

“One of the hardest things about being a parent is letting go,” Mom said. “We lost your brother to college this year, and that was hard, but very expected. We didn't expect to lose you, too. Not like this."

God. She made it sound like I was dying. “You're not losing me."

She brushed her hand across my forehead, sweeping a piece of hair behind my ear. I was suddenly in my parents’ bedroom as a vision took hold.

“Shes my little girl. I don't want her to grow up so fast,” Dad said. He wore the same clothes he was wearing today. Tears glistened in his eyes. “Can't she wait?"

jerked away from Mom's touch. She was the only one with enough control to show me exactly what she wanted me to see and no more, but that didn't mean I wanted to see anything. It felt too intrusive.

“Is this where the party is?” Axel came out to the porch and handed me an ice-cold Diet Coke, breaking the tension. He was my savior when he wasn't being a pain in my a*s.

I popped the tab on the Coke, and took a long drink. I needed to consume more calories as a wolf, but I still liked diet sodas I'd gotten used to the taste and regular Coke tasted wrong now.

He handed Dastien and Mom root beers and leaned against the railing on the porch. “So, what's the drama now?"

I rolled my eyes. “No drama.”

“You guys look pretty serious for a drama-free zone."

I plucked the tab off my can and threw it at him. “Jerk.”

“Nerd,” he countered. “So, what's up?”

“Nothing. We're just talking about growing up.”

Axel made a face. “Yeah. That's a mood killer for sure”

“Look. I know you're worried, but nothing much is changing tonight," Dastien said. I scoffed. It seemed like a lot was changin tonight.

“We're formalizing what's already happened, so it's like getting upset over the past. Not worth it. She doesn't even have to move in with me.”

Uh, I was kind of looking forward to that, I said through our bond. And I wasn't really going to tell them that part.

We have to be honest with them. You're lucky to have two great parents who care about you, and they're freaking out right now, so we have to be considerate.

What they don't know won't hurt them...

No. We're not going to lie to them. I just think—

“They're talking to each other in their heads." Axel scrunched his nose. “They're making all the faces they would if they were talking aloud, except without the words. It's so f*****g creepy.”

“Axel! Language!” Mom swatted his leg.

My cheeks burned. It felt like being caught doing something really intimate.

“Sorry. That was rude.” Dastien took the blame, but I was the one who'd started the conversation.

“My bad." I took a long sip from my drink.

“Just don't knock up my sister.”

I nearly spewed Diet Coke all over him.

Dastien patted my back as I choked again. I was on a roll today. “Jesus, Axel. Shut up.’

“Who's talking about knocking up my daughter?” Dad said as he stepped outside. I groaned. If he owned a shotgun, I was pretty sure he'd be cocking it right about now. “No one is getting knocked up” I'd need to have a s*x life to get preggo and we hadn't gone there yet.

And God. Could this be more embarrassing?

“Just be safe,” Mom said as she patted my hand.

I was wrong. It could totally get more embarrassing. “Please. For the love of all that's holy, everyone just ixnay on the exsay alktay”

“If you can't say it, honey, you shouldn't be having it." Jesus Christ almighty.

I'set my drink on the floor and covered my face with my hands. “Did no one hear what I just said? Shit. And it's my birthday. I heard Dastien’s laugh through the bond. I peeked at him and his face was a perfect mask of serious. This isn't funny.

It's extremely funny.

“No. It's humiliating”

Just think, this time next week, we'll be getting ready for some Paul van Dyk. I grinned. Can't wait. “Hey.” I kicked Axel's foot. “We're going to PVD next Saturday. If you wanna go, you're gonna need tickets."
“Dastien warned me a while back. I guess I'm going to suffer through yet another night of Nintendo music for you."

Axel had always been my dancing partner, even if he didn't like the music. Hitting the clubs had been my one release when we lived in LA. “Awesome. Thanks." The tickets were Dastien’s birthday present to me and I couldn't wait. We had the same taste in music—a heavy rotation of trance and house with some breaks and ambient mixed in. I never thought I'd meet someone who shared my passions, but Dastien did. He got me.

“Can we have a moment with our daughter before you go?” Dad asked. I started to protest—whatever Dad said to me he could say to Dastien—but Dastien stood before I could say anything. “Of course. I'll wait by the car”

We were quiet as Dastien stepped off the porch. I knew he could probably hear whatever we said—werewolves have fantasti hearing—but he gave my family the illusion of privacy as he leaned against

his black Porsche Cayenne at the end of the driveway.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Dad asked. “If you want to wait, I'm sure we can talk to Michael.”

Mr. Dawson, a.k.a. Michael, was Dad's boss, the head of St. Ailbe’s and the local pack. Even if I wanted Dad to step in—which I didn't—it wouldn't do any good. It wasn't Mr. Dawson's decision.

I cracked my knuckles as I stared across the driveway at Dastien. The way he leaned against the car made my heart race.

He wasn't even doing anything and my whole body flushed. How could that get me so riled? “I'm not nervous about it. Dastien...” God. My face burned because I knew he'd be listening to this. “Dastien is kind of perfect for me. I'm a worrier and he's mega calm. We have the same interests in music and dancing and whatnot. I'm not good at the fighting stuff and he's not good at the magic stuff. It's like we balance each other. We fit.”

I couldn't even explain what Id felt when I first saw him. From that moment, it was like I already knew him. I'd never felt something so strongly. And when I left him at the mall, the longing that drew
me to him... I couldn't help but hope he felt the same.

“I know it's fast and we're all still adjusting to everything that's happened, but I need to do this. I think once I do, I'll feel more settled. But right now, it's like something could happen and, I dunno. I'm nervous. I'm on edge.” The more I tried to pinpoint my feelings the more elusive they became. It wasn't just growing up that was bothering me.

I blew out a breath. “I don't know what to say, but I want you to trust me. It's going to be okay"
Dad pulled me in for a hug, and I wrapped my arms around him. Dad was always free with his hugs. He didn't understand my visions the way Mom did, so he didn't keep his distance. But I didn't care anymore. Now that I finally had more control, I could relax into his embrace. “You want away from the pack, then we'll find a way,” Dad said.

I kissed his scruffy cheek. “Thanks, Dad. But, seriously, I'm going to be okay.”

He blinked, not letting tears fall. “Okay, big girl"

Mom pulled me in for a hug next. “Te quiero mucho.”

“I love you, too." I turned to Axel.

“God. It's like it's a fF***g funeral.”

“Axel!” Mom said.

“What? It's true” He pulled me in for a hug, too. “I love you, kiddo. Good luck tonight. And happy birthday. You finally have friends, you awkward dork."

“I love you, too!" I shoved him away as I laughed. “I'm gonna go. Gotta get ready.’

“Don't miss dinner next Sunday. Even if you're tired from dancing,” Mom said.

“Will do” I walked to Dastien’s car, and he opened the door for me.

“Hey, Dastien,” Axel shouted.

“What?”

“Take care of my sister or I'l be forced to kick your a*s!" I laughed. We all knew that the only way Axel was kicking Dastien's a*s was if Dastien let him.

When I looked back at Dastien, he wasn't laughing this time. “I'll protect her with my life" I heard the resolve in his tone and felt it through the bond—he was making a serious promise.

“Good,” Axel said. Were they for real having a macho handing off the little lady convo? Because that was just so...ifty years ago.

Dastien closed my door and walked around to the driver's side. “You ready?” he said before starting the car.

I took one last look at the house—my family standing on the porch. Dad had his arm around Mom. Axel leaned forward over the railing, resting on his forearms. It was weird. I was leaving one family for another, yet I was still part of both. It felt like I was being pulled in so many directions lately.

But I was being overly dramatic. I shook myself free of my thoughts and placed my hand on the window. “Yeah. I'm ready.’ Mom lifted her hand in an answering wave.

“Nothing's changing tonight."

“That's not true," I said as I stared into Dastien's amber eyes. “I really feel like I shouldn't have told my cousins the truth. As soon as they left, I got this overwhelming feeling of dread. I don't like it”

He raised a brow. “Is it a vision? Is that what I'm feeling from you?" That was impossible. “I don't have visions of the future. Only past and present.”

“You could, though. Your powers are still growing. Don't limit your perceptions.” I rubbed my sweating palms on my shorts. “ can't be. I just get the feeling like something's about to change, and that it won't be good. But that has nothing to do with how I feel about the Full Moon Ceremony. I want to be with you. 'm already in your head. It's not like it'd change anything except the way the pack sees us."

“Then it's not the bonding you're worried about?”

“No. I actually can’t wait for that part, but there's this feeling. The only other time I felt like this was right before I met you. I paused. “Do you think we should be worried about the tribunal?” I asked
for maybe the millionth time. There was a lof riding on it. Our punishments could even be death, although everyone kept saying that wouldn't happen to us.

“No,” he said patiently. “People will make their statements. Then there will be a question-and-answer session—that's going to be the hardest part. Then we'll get to say what we want. Biting you was a

serious offense, but we've already passed the Seven’s test, and Sebastian and Donovan themselves pardoned us. This is just a formality. It'd be different if that hadn't happened yet. We'd need to prepare
defenses and arguments, but I can't think of a reason why it wouldn't go our way now. Just tell everyone what happened, and they'll get it. It's going to be fine. Trust me.”

“Okay” I'd been working on my speech for the past couple of days, but it wasn't going very well. The tribunal wasn't until Monday night, so I still had some time to get it done. But if Dastien wasn't too

worried, then I shouldn't be either.

He started down the dirt road. “It's going to be okay. Whatever happens, we'll deal with it together
“Right.” I squeeze his hand, but I wasn't sure I believed that. I'd never been lucky enough to have things go smoothly. Something told me this wasn't going to be as easy as Dastien thought.