All The Wrong Signs

I awoke to nothing but pitch black surrounding me. Some small part of me was still afraid of the dark. Afraid of what lurked in the darkness.

Now I knew.

Things like Blaze lurked in the darkness.

Sitting up, I reached over, turning my beside lamp on. I had no answers to my problems. My head still throbbed a little, but I knew what I needed to do.

Walking out of my room, I stopped off in the bathroom. I wanted to take some medicine for my headache, but I was afraid that it would somehow affect Petra’s ability to pry through my mind.

Luna and Shadow met me as I walked to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. Reaching down, I petted them both, “I’m sorry I haven’t been spending very much time with you.”

The two dogs looked up at me sadly, as if they understood what I was saying to them. I truly believed that animals could sense human emotions, and I wondered if it registered to them how much pain I was in. They had been super clingy to me ever since my divorce.

Taking a long swing of my water, I walked into my living room, stopping as I saw Petra. She had not bothered to turn the lights on, instead she had lit my candles, making the room glow almost magically. She was sitting on the couch, her feet tucked under her as she read.

She didn’t appear to be a demon, not until she looked up at you with those eyes that were just not quite human. Were all demons like her and her brother? Did they only act out when they were pushed? Or was she only being nice to me, because, like Blaze, she needed me?

“I’m ready,” I said loudly.

Petra looked up over her book at me. “Are you sure? No harm will come from waiting till morning.”

I was positive. With Blaze gone, I felt like a piece of me was missing. Was I missing my dreams? Bad or not, dreams were an important part of my life. They guided me.

“Yes,” I said simply instead of telling her everything on my mind. She would be able to read it soon enough if she wanted, anyway. There was no way to hide anything from her. Not that I had anything to hide.

Without her asking me to, I went and laid down on the couch. Shadow and Luna hoped up laying at my feet, making it somewhat uncomfortable with their weight on my legs. Instead of making them move, I closed my eyes. “I’m ready.”

Petra took a breath. “Every time we do this, it becomes a bit more painful.”

I nodded, although I didn’t see why she was just now telling me that bit of information. I guess she was a demon. Tell me the bad news right before she attacked.

The assault to my mind stung hard. You could have hit me with a sledgehammer and it felt better than what I experienced in that moment. She knew where to go now, so she wasted no time digging through my memories.

Soon enough, I was back in that tattoo chair. I could hear the buzzing of the gun. I tried my best to focus. I could feel something trying to break through. My memory was trying to give. Only I wasn’t sure if it was trying to slip away or give me access to it.

The buzzing seemed to be the only sound I could hear, and it was driving me mad. Again and again we went over the memory and again and again I failed.

Petra pulled out of my mind just as aggravated as I was. “This is not working,” she mumbled. “Your mind is just too weak to handle what needs to be done.”

“I’m trying,” I said, with tears in my eyes. “Believe it or not, I want his stupid ass back here too.”

Petra looked down at me, a deep frown sketched into her face. “Funny, I can’t tell.”

“Try again.” I demanded.

“You are too…”

“I said try again,” I screamed at her.

Petra shook her head. “This is just as taxing on me as it is you. But if you insist.”

She slammed into my head without a warning and I couldn’t hold in the scream that escaped my lips. It felt like she was flaying my brain bit by bit as she made her way right back to the tattoo parlor.

My brain felt like it was on fire. What was left of it, anyway. I was pretty sure after all of this was said and done, it would be nothing more than mush. Was that the high price she didn’t speak of? She had warned me of the pain, but her warning didn’t compare with what I had experienced.

This time, the connection was full of static. It was the only word I could think of to describe it. It was like turning on the tv to a channel that didn’t exist. My vision wasn’t as clear either. I wondered if it was my mind exhausted or if Petra was exhausted. I had never thought about that fact that she might need a break in all of this.

Whispers. I could hear whispers. So faint that it was hard to make out what was being said. I knew I had to focus on it. I had to. Jumbled. It was all jumbled.

As the memory faded, and Petra exited my mind again, I screamed at her. “Again. Do it again.”

“I can’t, Riley. I can’t hold on…”

I looked up at her. My vision was so blurry I wondered if my mind had already been cracked. “I can get him. Do it again.”

Petra took a deep breath, but I felt her dive back into my mind like a hot knife slicing through butter. My memory flashed before me until I was back, once again seated at the parlor.

This time I didn’t try to listen. I thought of Blaze. I envisioned him in my mind. His icy blonde hair. Those crystal blue eyes. The way his voice seemed to almost purr out of him with some long forgotten accent.

Blazenthibou

I felt it rather than heard it. I tried to speak, but with Petra in my mind, I couldn’t get my mouth to move.

Sensing my panic at being afraid I would lose the memory, she exited so quickly I could hear her gasp as she retreated.

“BLAZENTHIBOU!” I screamed with all of my might. Only my voice wasn’t loud, it was barely a whisper. I just prayed it was loud enough to be heard over the pounding of my heart.

My body was weak, my mind shredded. Darkness seemed to be encroaching, but I was helpless to stop it.

I looked up at Petra. “Tell him I’m sorry….”

Darkness enveloped me.