All He’ll Ever Be (Merciless World Series Book 1)

Some moments, I feel closer to her.

Others, more distant.

I wish I knew what to make of her tonight. Nothing went as I thought it would and that puts me on edge.

She fell asleep in the tub, and as I carry her small form wrapped in a towel to bed, I can’t help but notice how peaceful she looks.

Tonight, was like knowing you’re in the eye of a storm. She’s calm and placated but beneath the surface, everything she’s truly feeling rage inside of her. She needs to let it go.

I have to set her down and pull the comforter from underneath her before she can bury herself into the mattress.

As she nestles into the sheets, she wakes calmly.

Rubbing her eyes, she comes to and asks, “Is it morning?” She practically hums the words.

With her damp hair a mess and sleep lingering in her expression, she’s fucking gorgeous.

I cup her cheek and plant a soft kiss on her lips, to which she lifts hers up and deepens it. I’m growing addicted to the way she kisses me. How she doesn’t hide her passion in her touch.

Unlike in her gifted room today. I want them all to be like this one.

I’ve never kissed a woman before her. Never let myself fall for anyone or given them that part of me. So, every peck, every time she deepens it, it means so much more than I thought it would. I need more of this from her.

“Not yet, songbird.” Whispering against her lips I tell her, “You fell asleep in the bath.”

She slowly sits up as I climb into bed next to her.

“Well, I don’t feel tired now,” she tells me and sits cross-legged.

Exhaustion sweeps over me as I lie down and pull her close to me. “Good, I can have you then,” I tell her, letting my lips drag against her neck to leave a trail of open-mouth kisses. I rock my erection into her hip and then pin her under me. “I wanted you in the bath.”

I’d planned on putting one heel on each side of the tub, just as I’d told her to do in the office, but her questions were more important. More insightful, even though I didn’t like where they were going.

It feels like she’s slipping from me, slowly. I’m losing her, and I don’t know how or why.

But I’ll get her back. She has nowhere else to run and no one else.

She only needs to accept that.

Her hand sweeps behind my neck and she pulls my lips to hers, taking and demanding. “Make me forget,” she whispers against my lips and my chest aches at her words.

I need to forget, just as she does. It’s so easy to get lost in her.

My fingers trail down the dip in her waist slowly until I find her cunt. Already hot and wet and needy, she rocks herself into my palm and I smile against her lips.

Nipping her lower lip and guiding my cock to her entrance, I tease her, “You’re always ready for me.”

“Always,” she mewls just before I slam into her to the hilt.

“Fuck!” she yells out as I pull out and then thrust into her slowly, taken aback at the tone of her strangled cry.

Her palms press against my chest, pushing me away as I kiss the crook of her neck and she moans a painful sound. “Carter,” she whispers my name with agony. Her brow is etched with a look of pain.

“It hurts,” she gasps, arching her neck as I pull out of her completely. “It hurts,” she repeats, trying to close her legs. Shit. My body tenses concerned that I hurt her. Fuck. Not like this.

“Shh,” I whisper against her neck and kiss her lightly as my fingers find her clit. She needs to feel good under me. I can’t have her any other way.

Instantly, she moans that sweet sound of pleasure I love hearing. “I was wondering how much I could fuck you before you’d be too sore.” She only replies with a quick inhale and the buck of her hips which does nothing but give me slight relief.

“Look at me,” I command her, and her head turns instantly to face me. Her gorgeous hazel-green eyes burn into mine. My thumb rubs ruthless circles around her clit and Aria bites into her lower lip, desperate to keep her eyes on me but knowing the pleasure will rock through her soon.

Her back bows slightly and her breaths turns to pants, but instead of letting her get off, I lower my fingers, trailing them through her lips and gathering the wetness to bring it lower.

“I could always take you here,” I say lowly, pressing my fingers against her forbidden entrance.

Aria’s answer is to open her mouth wider with a look of shock, but more than that, sinful curiosity.

A smile stretches across my lips as I say, “Not tonight though. I have to play with you first.” Her eyes light again with curiosity and the guilt I felt a moment ago diminishes. I bring my fingers back to her clit then down to her entrance, pressing them inside her gently, but even that makes her wince.

I have to pull the covers back to look at her slick folds; she’s red and swollen, well used.

That doesn’t mean I can’t give her pleasure and that I can’t have mine in return. If I’ve learned anything about Aria, it’s that the more I give her pleasure, the more compliant she is.

Her eyes stay pinned on me as she looks down her body and waits for what I’ll do to her.

I run my tongue up and down her pussy and then suck on her clit. She’s so fucking sweet. The taste of her on my lips makes my cock twitch with need. With her hands in my hair and her heels digging into the bed she finds her release, screaming out my name.

She curls on her side as I move back up the bed and lie next to her, not waiting to position her just as I want her. With one hand on her breast and the other pushing the hair away from her flushed face, she’s still reeling from her orgasm when I move my cock between her thighs.

“Arch your back,” I tell her, and she obeys instantly, jutting her ass out. And it tempts me. The curve of her waist and the round flesh of her ass are so seductive. I can just imagine gripping on to her and rocking into her as she screams in ecstasy.

She’s not ready for my dick to take her ass though… not yet.

I settle on pushing the head of my cock inside her, only the head and wait for her reaction. A small moan escapes her lips as she rocks gently, finding the aftershocks pleasurable. I know there will be a bite of pain, but there’s nothing better than when pain and pleasure mix.

“Grab my cock,” I give her the command, and she reaches around to take my cock and stroke it. “Harder,” I say then put my hand over hers and show her how to jerk me off. She only has a grip on the base of my dick, but her unsure hold and the lust in her eyes are enough to get me off. Even without her pussy clenching around the head of my cock.

“Fuck,” I groan as she rubs me and slowly pushes more of me inside of her. With my hand on her hip, I stop her from pushing more of me inside of her. Even with her getting off, it’ll only make her worse off and all I need is this.

“I want you every night, however I can have you.” My words are tense as I sit on the edge of my release.

The air between us is different now. There’s a raw quality neither of us can hide, although I’ll never admit it.

Her pressure is firm, her strokes even and deliberate, and then her pussy spasms around the tip of my dick as she cums again from me rubbing her clit.

But it’s the way she’s looking at me that gets me off. Like I’m hers to play with. I’m hers to fuck, to use.

Like she owns me, as she strokes my dick and I cum inside her.

My eyes beg me to close them as I revel in the sweet burst of satisfaction and I mark her again. But her gaze stays on mine, our breath mingling, and I’m forced to get lost in her hazel eyes. I’m still cumming when she releases me, turning and kissing me hard, crashing her lips to mine and devouring me.

My cum leaks from her and onto the sheets, but she doesn’t care and neither do I.

Her heart races as she presses her breasts to my chest and belly to mine. Once again wanting to get closer to me, and I feel for the first time today I have her back. She’s mine again.

The day I stop fucking her will be the day I lose her. She needs my touch like I need the air she breathes.

“I think I might be able to sleep now,” she whispers and then smiles against my lips.

“Sleep well.” I keep my voice calm and soothing, rubbing my arm up and down her bare back as she settles her head on my chest, a new habit of hers. One I approve of.

Looking up at me with her head resting on my arm she tells me, “Sweet dreams.”

I kiss her gently as she drifts off to sleep in my arms with the faint taste of lust still on her lips.

Addicts will get high on anything. My father’s words ring in my ears. The white lights are too bright. I wince.

Where am I? My head lolls to the side; it’s so heavy I can’t lift it. Everything hurts.

Slowly, I feel each of my limbs. My wrists won’t move, pinned against a metal chair. The same with my ankles and every inch of me is in pain, but the worst is radiating from my stomach.

I heave up a breath that squeezes my chest, coughing up blood.

Fuck.

My right eye is swollen, and I try to open it, remembering how my mother’s pills fell into the gutter. No, we needed that money.

My father said the addicts would buy them, but hardly any of them did. I stayed out all day, and only two buyers paid me anything. And then the men showed up. Talvery’s men.

“How long was he there?”

I hear someone from across the room ask the question and open my eyes to see a swinging light and a man in a crisp suit with long black hair slicked back tossing my wallet across a metal table littered with tools.

A groan tears from me as I try to move. Try to get away. I know he’s going to kill me. I know it.

But it’s hopeless.

“I’m sorry,” I spew and more blood spits up. “I didn’t know,” I try to say but my throat is so dry and feels bruised. I don’t think they heard me, so I repeat myself, pleading for mercy. “I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t know what, kid?” a man hisses in front of me. Pain spikes at the back of my scalp as he grips my hair and shakes my head to look at him. “You didn’t know you were dealing on my turf?” His eyes are a pale blue and ice cold. “The whole east side knows it now. So, you’re fucked.” He spits out the words then leaves me, picking up something from the metal table.

Every crunch of bone, every rip of my skin, every deep gouge pushes me closer and closer until I’m holding on to life by a thread.

I even cry out for my mother.

They all laugh in the room. But still, I cry out for her. Praying she can’t see this and what’s happened only weeks after her death. Shame and regret and pain make my head feel light and slowly I feel weightless. So close to death.

Please, just end it. I don’t want to live anymore. I can’t.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

At first, I think they’re guns that wake me, stopping me from drifting to lifelessness.

Bang. Another bang at the door so close to me, yet impossible to reach.

“Please, I need you,” someone says, and her voice sends a chill through my body, but at the same time, warmth. “I need you.” The words are feminine and soft, but with a plea that begs me to listen.

She needs me.

The pain is still vivid with every move of my limbs, but I can hear her if I listen.

The voice turns harder, colder and the air goes frigid.

“I need you, Carter,” she says again but this time there’s no negotiation in her tone. “I need you!” she yells at me.

The anger rising and a storm brewing around me, she screams at me, her voice reverberating in the room, “I still need you!”