All He’ll Ever Be (Merciless World Series Book 1)

“What the fuck is this, Cross?” Romano feigns anger in his voice, but the terror is unmistakable.

Picking up Stephan’s untouched and still neatly folded cloth napkin from the table, I wipe the blood from my hands and arms.

My shoulders rise and fall as I go over the last ten minutes. So little time for so much to happen. Romano isn’t meant to die tonight, but I lost my composure. If he doesn’t pull his shit together over Stephan dying, I’ll have no choice but to kill him.

Or, if I think he’ll speak a word that could ruin everything I’ve built and everything I have planned.

I can’t hide what she does to me. I can’t disguise the power Aria has over me when she doesn’t listen.

Romano knows too much.

The thought forces my neck to tilt to the side and crack. And then to the other side as Romano asks again, “You set me up?”

The indignation in his voice is sickening. As if I owe him any loyalty. Dropping the napkin to the floor, I walk toward Romano, my shoes crushing fallen glass underfoot as I near him.

“He’s a traitor,” I say simply. “He was a traitor.” Romano swallows and his hands ball into fists and then loosen. His gaze shifts to each person in the room. All of them with me, and none of them with him.

I could so easily destroy him. Take him out and be done with him. And then I wouldn’t have to worry about the impression I’ve left him with. I wouldn’t have to worry about him telling anyone else what Aria means to me.

But at that very thought, I know I’ll let him live and walk out of my home unscathed. I want them all to know.

My eyes close at the realization. As I take a deep breath and fall into the calmness of my decision, I hear Jase’s voice cut through the fog.

“We received some information from our leak at the Talvery headquarters,” Jase says and then adds, “Stephan couldn’t be trusted.” His voice is calm. Calmer than Romano’s as he replies with some sort of defense. I can’t focus on what he says; all I can do is replay each moment in my mind, trying to decipher how Romano viewed it. How my brothers saw me. How the men who work for me watched me lose control.

They’ll all know what she means to me. What she can do to me. I want every one of those pricks to know.

As my eyes slowly open, I see Romano and I grin at him, a slow methodical grin.

“Relax, Romano,” I tell him as I reach out and grip his right shoulder. I give his shoulder a firm squeeze.

I listen to his breathing hitch and watch as his pupils dilate. I’ve seen this look so many times before. The look of fear and hope mixing in the eyes of my enemies is undeniably familiar to me.

“He had to be dealt with, and I know you had a soft spot for him,” I tell him evenly, giving his shoulder another slight squeeze as I force a faint, but kind smile to my lips. “I didn’t want anyone to think you had a hand in this.” I release him and add, “I know you two were close.”

With my back to him, I survey the room, and a few of my men are cleaning up the evidence already. This isn’t the first time blood has been shed in this room and they’re more than capable of making it go away. The glass clinks as it’s swept up.

“I don’t have any room for traitors in my alliances,” I speak to Romano, although I still have my back to him.

“I could have been informed,” he responds, and I finally turn to him again.

“I thought you would enjoy the show. I was told you have a fondness for theatrics.” A flash of fear sparks in his eyes and I have to school my expression to keep the sheer delight from showing. The only thing that makes this moment better is knowing that Aria is upstairs, and she’ll be waiting for me.

“Next time, I’ll be sure to tell you in advance.” With my final words, I nod to Jase.

“I’ll show you out,” Jase says to Romano with a smirk and heads to the door, not waiting for his response. I merely stare at the old man and his ill-fitting suit that’s rumpled and marred by a small splatter of red up his arm. His eyes narrow and his chest rises once with a heavy breath. I can only imagine the taste of blood in his mouth as he bites his tongue.

“Next time,” are his parting words and they’re followed by the hollow sound of his footsteps as he leaves the room.

“You want to keep any of him, boss?” Sammy asks. He’s a young kid, but smart and eager to learn. Crouched near Stephan’s body, he gestures to the head. “Or trash it all?” He looks up at me without any fear, but in its place is respect. I think that’s why I like the kid. A very large part of me envies him. He never went through the shit I did. He didn’t have to learn the way I did.

“Burn all of him. No trace. I don’t want a single piece of that prick left in here.”

Sammy nods once and immediately gets to work.

“How long until he turns on us?” I hear Jase’s question from behind me and I turn to face my brother.

“He’d already turned on us, remember?” I remind him and Jase only smirks at me.

“He was still willing to deal with us while ripping us off. But I imagine that’s going to change now.” He leans against the wall and slips his hands in his pockets as he watches the men clean up the room.

“Both Talvery and Romano will come for us. You know that, right?” Daniel asks as he moves to join us. Declan follows and the four of us form a circle in the corner of the room.

“As long as they don’t join forces, it doesn’t matter,” I respond without thinking. My thoughts immediately go back to Aria. Consequences be damned; this was for her.

“What’s to stop them from doing that?” Declan asks. He wasn’t concerned before tonight. Of all four of us, he’s the least interested and the least informed. Because of that, I imagine he was the most shocked as well.

“A decade-long feud, greed, arrogance?” Jase answers.

“All of this, and for what?” Daniel’s question comes out harder. “It was for her, wasn’t it?”

Silence engulfs us for a moment as I watch my brother.

“There was no reason to go about it like this. To make a scene and piss off Romano like that.”

“It had to be done.” Jase is quick to answer and firm with his response.

“But we didn’t have to make Romano an enemy. Not now, not when Talvery is coming for us.” Daniel’s anger is evident, but more so, he’s scared. Scared because Addison is here with us.

“She’s safe,” I tell him, moving to the heart of his concern.

My brothers are quiet as I take in Daniel’s stance. He’s tired and anxious. “I want this shit to end, but now we’ve added gasoline to the fucking fire.”

Jase answers before I can. I’m struck by the fact that I never considered Addison. I didn’t care what the cost was for giving Aria the revenge she so desperately needed. “The guns are in, we just have to spread them and hit them hard.”

“Who are we hitting? Talvery? Or Romano?” Daniel asks Jase, but then all three of my brothers look at me. All of them wanting to know.

Daniel doesn’t hold back his concern as he says, “I know you’ve been lying to us. And now you brought war to our doorstep for her.”

“I never lied,” I mutter, and my words are a harsh whisper. Anger seeps into my blood as I watch the chaos in Daniel’s eyes heat.

“What does she mean to you?” he asks as if my answer will assuage all of his fears.

Only if I answer truthfully.

Jase’s gaze moves to the men behind us and then back to me with a subtle unasked question and I nod my head.

“Leave us,” I call out and wait to speak until the sounds of men shuffling out of the room subside. My brothers are patient. Not speaking and holding back until we’re left alone.

“She’s getting to you,” Daniel speaks softly. “You’re making calls for all of us, but she’s clouding your judgment.”

His words feel like a knife in my back.

“You’re questioning me?” I ask him, not holding back the bite of anger, but deep inside I know it’s for me. I’m angry because he’s right. My brow pinches and I force in a deep breath and then another, staring behind my brother at the soft gray wall where bright red blood is smeared.

“She saved my life,” I tell them while turning to look away. Guilt washes through me. I know I was thinking of her, not of us. But this was meant to happen. I can feel it ringing inside of me like a singular truth never has. “And I hated her for it.” The confession comes out with a gentleness and careful touch.

The silence from my brothers begs me to look at them. To know for certain their reaction to my confession. Although there’s a hint of shock in Daniel’s eyes, there’s something else there too. Something I can’t place.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Jase asks. “She saved you?” he adds for clarification.

“It was years ago, the night Dad had to call his friend in.” I know they know what I mean by the reference. There was only one night Dad called in a favor for me. One night where I almost met death.

“Shit,” Declan bites out and runs his hand down his face. He was only a child. It was so long ago.

“As long as I’m living and breathing – she will be mine.” My response is brutal and unmoving. “Whether she likes it or not.”

“You took her because you hated her for saving you?” Daniel asks although there’s no confrontation in his tone, nothing but genuine curiosity and concern.

“I wanted her to know what it was like to wish you could just die and not have to live another day with the person you’ve become.” I almost tell him I didn’t know that I loved her. But I change the words as I add, “I didn’t know that I cared for her. Not until she came here.”

She gave me a new reason to live. Not only all those years ago when she saved me, but also this past month when I finally got her beneath me.

The silence stretches between us and it feels suffocating. I’ve never felt shame for what I’ve become, because everything I am and everything I’ve done is for the three men who stand in front of me, judging what I’ve told them.

“And Stephan?” Declan asks. He’s the only one of the three who didn’t know why I was letting Aria kill him. He didn’t care to know, like so many other things he’d rather not be aware of.

“He raped and murdered her mother. She cries at night in her sleep because of him.”

The dark pit of sadness that narrowly exists within me expands at the memory of the first night I realized the power he had over her. “I had to give her this,” I explain and my last word hisses from my lips.

Jase is the first to nod in agreement, followed by Declan and then, finally, Daniel.

“They’re all going to be coming for us now,” Daniel says, but this time his voice welcomes the challenge. The moment of wondering what my brothers think of me, what they think of her, ends as quickly as it came.

I answer Daniel the only way I know how. With the only acceptable answer there is.

“Let them come.”