All He’ll Ever Be (Merciless World Series Book 1)

“Do you think she’ll be a problem?” Jase asks me in low tones as he stares across the bar at the brunette. She stands out in the club full of women dressed in tight shirts and short skirts.

Dressed in jeans with rips in the knees and a loose black tank top designed for comfort, she doesn’t belong here. More than that, she’s slamming her hands against the bar and screaming across the counter at both the men working tonight.

“She’s not why we’re here,” I remind him. “Let the bartender handle it,” I tell him and walk past the crowds of people, but Jase stays behind a moment longer, staring at the deranged brunette.

All I care about are the men in the back room right now. Men who lost a family member tonight. Two of our guys were shot in the back while they were out on their runs to collect. The fucked-up part is that they were on the most southern portion of our turf. So, some fucker came into our territory, hid low, and shot them in broad daylight. Some fucker named Charles Banner who’s now buried in a shallow grave thanks to Cason.

It doesn’t bring the men back though. Death is final.

When I walk up to the back doors, Jared opens them immediately and the hushed voices of the six men inside are silenced. I can hear Jase pick up his pace behind me and come in before the doors close, quieting the music of the club.

Around the table, all six men have drinks in front of them, two of them with shots untouched. Cigarettes are lit and one of the guys takes the last puff before putting out the butt. As he blows out the smoke, the rest of the five greet me and then he follows.

The metal chair legs drag on the floor as Jared pulls out seats for both Jase and me and then goes back to his position to guard the doors.

“James and Logan.” I swallow thickly after I look both men in the eyes. The youngest one, James, lost his brother and his eyes are still bloodshot. He can’t stop himself from crying as I tell him, “I’m sorry.” Logan lost his cousin, his only cousin and he’s the one who brought him in. I can see the look of regret on his face and there’s nothing I can do to take that back.

The other four men all lost a close friend.

Only two men have died tonight on our side, and we took out nearly thirty of Talvery’s crew. It doesn’t make the losses any easier to take. Not for the six men sitting here.

“What happened was a tragedy and one that needs to be rectified.”

“I thought they said you got him?” A kid with a deep scar down the left side of his face and blonde hair speaks up. His lips stay parted as he stares at me with wide eyes. “They said he’s dead.”

“The asshole who stole the lives of my men?” I question him, bringing my hand to my chest. “The one who pulled the trigger was shot in the back of the head and buried in the back of the construction site off the highway. Tomorrow cement will cover him, and his name will be forgotten.” I pause as the kid nods. His name escapes me, and I look around at the other four. I know three of them and then I come back to the blonde. Matthew. That’s right. “Matthew?” I call him out and he nods again, bringing his gaze up from where it was focused on the table.

“You can call me Matty.” He brightens for a moment, and it’s then that I remember one of the guys who died was his neighbor. They grew up together.

“How old are you?”

“Just turned twenty-two,” he tells me, and I turn around and motion for Jared to come closer. “Get him as many drinks as he wants all week. A birthday should be celebrated. Every day alive should be celebrated.”

“Thank you, Boss,” Matty tells me and I shake my head, not wanting any gratitude.

“The man who’s responsible for your brother’s death,” I look to James and then to Logan as I continue, “and your cousin’s death, Nicholas Talvery, will die the second I have a chance to end his life.”

I pause as the memories of how he tried to kill me, how sneaky the fucker is, spring to mind. Always preparing and setting up his men to blindside the unsuspecting, like my brothers, when we were only kids. “No one,” my voice hardens, “will take from us without having consequences.”

My heart races as I look the two men on my right in the eyes. “He killed your family and I’ll have his head for it.”

“To the end of Talvery,” Matty raises the shot glass in his hand and the other men do the same.

Talvery.

I’m numb as they throw back the shots and commiserate together.

“To the end of this war,” Jase speaks up, grabbing another shot glass and filling his and then the others.

The guy’s spirit picks up, although Logan still looks lost. James pats him on the back as Logan hunches over, shaking his head and crying again.

This war is useless. A fight between two men, Romano and Talvery, who already have enough. Greedy, selfish men who will risk lives to hurt the other.

And I supported it.

And Jase wants more of it.

And Aria lies in the middle of all of it.

“If you need anything, you know who to call,” I hear Jase speak quietly to the two men on the right and then he stands, and I do the same. Buttoning my jacket and taking a good look at each of the men sitting there.

None of them blame me and that’s the worst part of it. I’m bitter knowing they don’t blame me when they should. I brought them into this.

For her.

I agreed to this… for her.

The sound of Jase walking ahead of me is all I can follow as I feel like I’m suffocating. Maybe that’s how I’ll die. I’ll choke on every fucked-up decision I ever made.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. It’s been going off since the bar, but I wanted to get in and out and give the men the respect they deserve. That’s the least I could do.

Feeling it go off again as we step out into the night air and wait for the car to come around, brings on the restlessness and unease that hasn’t left me since I left Aria alone on the bed.

“That brunette’s gone,” Jase comments, leaning against a post by the curb that details all the drink deals inside.

As I pull out my phone, I glance at his profile and for a moment I see the look of loss in his eyes. He’s looking out into the parking lot and past it to the busy street. I know what he’s thinking about. I know what that look means.

“You all right?” I ask him, and he clears his throat, coughing into his fist and kicking off the post.

“Yeah,” he answers and runs his hand down the back of his neck. “I just can’t believe Talvery would waste a man like that. Did he really think he’d get out alive?” he questions, and I wonder if he’s telling me the truth about what he was thinking, or if I was right.

The rumble of the engine and the soothing sound of my car pulling up grabs our attention and saves me from asking him and prying.

It’s not until I walk around and open the door that I check my phone and see the missed calls and texts. Eli never texts, and he knows not to.

A’s safe and sound but shit happened. Call me when you can.

It’s the only text I’ve ever received from him. And I read it over and over, not breathing.

She’s safe. Anxiety creeps up and doesn’t leave me, forcing me to unbutton my collar as I walk around the other side and tell Jase to get out and drive. My hand slams on the roof when he doesn’t move fast enough. “You drive!” I scream at him and feel raw fear at the back of my throat.

She’s safe.

“What’s wrong?” He doesn’t object but stares at me the entire time he moves around to the other side.

With the key in the ignition, he sits there staring at me while Eli’s phone rings.

“Come on,” I grit out.

“What’s wrong?” he asks again.

“Drive to the safe house,” I yell at him, irritated by Eli not answering and pissed off that I’m here and not with Aria. But more than anything I’m scared that something happened to her. It’s been nearly forty minutes since he called.

The ringing stops and it goes to his voicemail. Motherfucker. I lean forward, my palms on the dash and try to calm the fuck down. She’s safe.

“Tell me again how we should take on more when this shit is out of hand,” I mutter to Jase as he pulls up to a stop sign.

“What happened?” he asks again, incredulity in his voice. I stare at my brother, not knowing what to say because I don’t fucking know. I need to know.

“She’s safe,” I say out loud but it’s more of a reminder to myself and Jase asks, “Aria?”

As I nod my head, the phone rings in my hand.

“Eli,” I answer quickly, feeling my pulse throb harder.

“We have a problem,” he tells me as Jase makes a right and then stops at the light. He’s staring at me instead of watching the road.

“Four men on First Street took a shot at our crew. They knew where they were and went for the two stations at the end of the security block. Only one of our guys took a shot, he’s with the doc now and he’ll be fine.”

One breath out, a deep, low breath and I swallow the spiked knot of fear. She’s fine, I remind myself. My eyes close and my head falls against the headrest.

My heart is thudding, rather than beating.

“Whose men?” I ask him, and he answers, “Not Romano or Talvery.”

My jaw clenches, as does my fist. Fucking great. That’s the last thing I need right now. Another asshole fucking with me.

“Anything else?” I ask him, opening my eyes and staring at the cabin of the car. The red and white lights from outside dance on the ceiling as he speaks. “All four men are dead, but they were known to hang out with the man who tried to take Addison. The one Daniel killed back when he was checking out Iron Heart. Men for hire. And Carter,” he pauses and so does the beat in my chest. I know it has to do with Aria. I can feel it. “I was with Aria at the time. She was there.”

I can’t swallow. I try, but I can’t. There’s something in the way and I can’t breathe.

“She’s okay. But she was there, and she fucked up one of the guys.”

My gaze shifts to Jase, who’s asking me what’s going on. I can only stare at him as I question Eli, “What do you mean, she fucked one of them up? You’re supposed to protect her!” The rage is minuscule compared to everything else I feel. The shock and fear that she was there, the relief that she’s safe and fine. The pride that she fought alongside my men.

I can hear him huff and it sounds like he switches ears to tell me, “She killed a guy. She got away from me, chased him down the street and beat the piss out of him.”

My Aria. My songbird.

“I’ll remember that the next time she lets me off with a warning,” I say softly, imagining it happening but I can’t. I can’t see it.

“Is she upset?” I ask him, knowing she will be. I yearn for a time when she’s happy again. When this is all over and she looks at me the way she did before.

“She’s not handling it well, but she honestly wasn’t doing that good before it went down.”

“Anything else I should know?” I ask him as I see the sign for Hill Road and Jase turns the corner, not slowing down. The tires squeal as Eli tells me that’s it.

“I’ll be there in a minute. Gather the guys, I want to go over everything and see the footage.”