All He’ll Ever Be (Merciless World Series Book 1)

I can still feel her cunt spasming on my cock the first time I took her. I still dream of it.

I can still taste the sweet wine on her lips.

I can still hear her screams of pleasure and her whispers that she loves me.

I know for as long as I live, I’ll remember it all. I’ll remember what I had with her.

Tonight, I wage war against her family; I’ll kill as many of them as I possibly can.

I’ll destroy what we have together and risk her hating me forever. She was telling the truth and I can’t stand it. Tonight, I will lose the woman I love.

My gaze drops to the phone on the bathroom counter just as Jase knocks on my bedroom door.

“In here,” I call out to him and turn on the faucet to wet my razor. The shaving cream is already slathered on my skin. Since leaving her last night, I’ve fallen back into my old habits and I’m distracting myself by focusing on the war and everything else involved in this business.

He talks as I shave, ridding myself of the stubble and preparing to look the part of a man in control of an empire. “I have a proposition,” he starts, and my eyes move to his in the reflection of the mirror before moving back to my jaw.

Each stroke of the blade is precise and smooth, skimming along my skin.

He takes a step forward, filling in the doorway. “I think our problem is that we’ve been content.”

“Our problem?”

“The reason men think they can steal from us, the reason Romano is creating competition and involved us in this war.” I consider him for a moment before going back to shaving, tapping the razor against the sink before bringing the blade down my skin again. I couldn’t give two shits about any of it anymore. I’ll kill those who defy me or stand in my way. And I’ll be fucking content with that regardless of whether or not Jase is.

He tells me with a raised brow, “We aren’t expanding.”

“We have other ventures. The club. The restaurant.” I don’t know why I bother reminding him. I can see the look in his eyes. He won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

“That money doesn’t compare. You know, I know, and everyone else knows it.” He speaks hurriedly like he can’t wait to make his point, but I drag it out. Just to torture him.

“We’re moving into Crescent Hills,” I tell him.

“Because you want to take on that place, not because there’s money there.” His voice is flat, his expression expectant.

I can’t argue that truth. “It’ll be worth it to be closer to the docks,” I tell him, and he shakes his head in disagreement. My patience ebbs as I tap my razor again on the sink and hold it under the running water.

“I think we need to go north. A true expansion,” he tells me and waits with bated breath.

“Talvery territory?” I question him, my eyes on his in the mirror and he nods his head. “I already gave it to Romano.”

“It hasn’t been taken yet, and Romano can go fuck himself.” Jase’s voice is harsh and his persistence shines through. Jase keeps his gaze on me even though he’s breathing harder with excitement. “We were going to give Fallbrook to Romano and he already has the entire upper east. Talvery turf should be ours.”

His eyes dart over to mine, waiting for a reaction but I give him none. I didn’t sleep for shit and I don’t give a fuck about expanding.

“Are you that bored?” I ask him dully. I remember what it was like to take control, what was required to have my name permanently carved into this territory. The sickness of it all and the risk. It’s not worth the money it makes.

“Bored?” Jase breathes out forcefully. “It’s a lost opportunity.” I don’t respond. Instead, I finish shaving, careful not to react when Jase adds, “And what about Aria?”

I rip the hand towel from where it hangs at my right and dampen it under the faucet. It’s hard to contain what I feel for her. The loss is too real. It’s too close.

“What about her?” As I clean off my face, ignoring the screaming pain in my chest, he tells me, “I heard about how she’s handling things.” I grip the towel tighter, praying my brother doesn’t say something that drives me to break his fucking jaw. Last night… I can’t even think about how the truth stabbed me in the heart like nothing else has before.

He tells me, “I think she’d want this.”

My brow furrows and I focus on breathing and controlling my expressions. “Want what?” Speaking hurts. Even breathing hurts. Everything fucking hurts.

“I think she’d want to still have the territory… maybe for her?” he offers, tilting his head and raising his brow. “Can you imagine how she’d react if we killed her family and gave her land to Romano?”

Using the dry section of the towel, I run it over my jaw, knowing exactly how she’s going to react and hating it. I swallow thickly, knowing I can keep her here. Physically, I have the means to keep her here, but that will only add to her hate. And I want her to love me. I need her to love me.

“What if, instead, we do as little damage as possible?” He moves out of the doorway as I toss the towel into the sink and make my way past him to my dresser for my cufflinks. I’m running through the motions, focused on every mundane detail that’s led me to this point in life.

“Any damage we do will break her, Jase,” I tell him halfheartedly.

“I’m telling you, this is a good idea, Carter.”

He stands a few feet from me, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “We already told Romano, but I say we hit them back to back. Talvery, then Romano and we take it all.”

“With what men?” I ask him, feeling the tingling rage creep up my spine. “Do you remember the cost of it all? How many men have to die for you to be satisfied?” My voice is raised, and my pulse quickens. I swallow back the anger when he doesn’t respond.

He flinches at the severity of my tone.

I add, “This isn’t a game and every move has consequences.”

“It’s all a game, brother.” He looks me in the eyes as he says, “A well-played and thought-out game.”

He stares at me and I him as he tells me, “If Aria was able to convince those men to do what she suggested yesterday, we would have the upper hand. Talvery and Romano would lose men, and we’d be waiting to take out the rest,” he talks with an evenness that sounds so reassuring.

“Only Aria doesn’t know that,” I tell him while taking a step forward and reaching for my jacket, which is draped across the dresser. “She doesn’t know how many will die. And she will never be okay with wiping out her family.”

The hint of a smile that was on his lips falters. “She has more to learn,” is all he can say.

“Tonight, her family legacy starts to fall, and she will never forgive me, let alone rule alongside me.” Jase’s smile completely vanishes, and he glances at his feet before looking me back in the eyes, ready to say something else, but I don’t let him. “Do you think she’ll want to rule when her territory is nothing, but a graveyard of old memories and people forgotten?”

It fucking kills me knowing how she’ll react. “She’s going to fucking hate me,” I bite out the words, grinding my back teeth against one another.

My breathing is ragged as he nods his head and runs his thumb over his bottom lip. “So, you’re saying it’s too late?” he asks.

That’s exactly how it all feels. It’s too late to keep her.

I let his question sit with me as I shrug on the jacket and button it. “I still think she would want this. Even if the war leaves a path of death to her throne, not everyone will die. She’ll have some.”

“Like Nikolai?” I reply with spite barely above a murmur, and it only makes Jase smirk at me.

“I have a feeling that fellow isn’t going to make it,” he jokes but it doesn’t do anything to soothe the nerves that won’t allow me to relax.

“In thirty minutes, they’ll open fire,” I tell him as I observe the little hand on my watch marching along steadily. “The next time you have an idea about damage control, maybe come to me sooner?” I suggest, and he huffs a laugh while shaking his head.

“The war has only started,” he says, not giving up. “Just tell me you’ll consider it.”

Screwing over Romano is inevitable; doing it at the right time is crucial.

But the worst mistake Jase is assuming is that Talvery can already be counted as dead. I’ve made that mistake before, and I won’t make it again.

“I consider everything, Jase.”