All He’ll Ever Be (Merciless World Series Book 1)

Hours have passed, but she hasn’t moved from the bed. Occasionally she flips open the sketch pad, but she doesn’t draw like she did before.

Mostly she looks at the phone, expecting it to ring.

She’s waiting on me. She’s waiting for my move, but I don’t know what the best action to take is.

Every time my phone rings and I’m given intel on where the men are and where they’re going, my orders are immediate, confident, and not to be questioned. All who stand in my way will fall.

But what Aria wants… I sit back in my seat, observing her as she stares at the pad in her lap. I don’t know how much leeway to give her. Free of her cage, my songbird might very well never come back to me given what I’m planning to do. And I can’t have that. Aria is mine.

“How many men did Romano send in there?” Daniel asks as he walks into the office unannounced. No knocking whatsoever. I guess some things don’t change.

Taking a deep breath that stretches my back, I answer him, “Four.”

“And he wants us to send a dozen?” His tone is incredulous, but I had the same exact reaction and I give him a look that says as much.

Turning my attention to Daniel, I take in his dark eyes and the rough stubble that’s overgrown on his jaw. He’s still in the same shirt he was wearing yesterday too.

“Did you sleep?” I ask him, and he shakes his head no, but he moves the conversation back to business matters. Back to busying himself and ending the bullshit that keeps him from having Addison back.

“Jett went down late last night to Carlisle. He said this morning that he counted at least twenty-two Talvery soldiers that come and go down the block.”

“That’s right inside the northern border between the two of us, not between Romano and him.”

“Right,” he answers me, but I didn’t need him to say a damn thing, I just needed a moment to think.

“Are the rest of the areas high density like that?”

“High density?” he echoes, not understanding. He hasn’t been back long and he’s still catching up.

“Instead of spreading his men out, he’s keeping them heavy and clustered in one area? Or is this the only street like that?” Crossing my right ankle over my left knee, I lean back in the chair and pick up a pen to tap it against the desk as I think.

“It’s like that three blocks from the divide between Romano and Talvery on the upper east side. Bedford, I think it is.”

“Where are the rest of them?” I ask him. “I want a count and whereabouts of his men at all times.”

“We need more eyes out if we want that intel. Jett can’t move if he wants to pick them off.”

“Then get them.”

“Most of our men are surrounding the safe house…” For the first time since beginning this conversation, he lowers his voice to confess, “I don’t want to move them.”

“So, we need to take on an army with only a handful of men.”

“Skilled men hired for this express purpose. Men who have been waiting for this for how long?” Daniel reminds me. Most of the men we picked up came with us for a reason. Hate is a better motivator than fear is and Talvery’s made more enemies in his decades of reign than I’d like to give him credit for. As he grew older, he grew harder.

I wasn’t the first boy he nearly beat to death for dealing in his territory. The others had families though, families who knew exactly who was responsible. Families who came to me, knowing we shared a common enemy.

I glance at the monitor, at my songbird who’s staring at nothing and consumed by her helplessness. For a split second, I wonder if she knows everything her father did. But I already know she doesn’t.

Daniel continues the conversation, hellbent on coming up with a plan. “Jett thinks we could use eight men total, two on each corner of that street and the other four on the other side to clean up that area.”

“Eight men, to take on their twenty?” My voice is flat, my gaze pinned to his, but all I can see is how this will go down. How we can take out each of them.

“Romano’s supposed to be sending down four in the next two days to go in, since he wants clean kills to avoid the news and having to pay off more cops. But I think we should hit them tomorrow night with the automatic assault rifles we just got from the docks.”

I nod my head in agreement. Clean kills take more time, time that they’ll use to react. “Why wait until tomorrow?” I ask him.

“It’s Sunday,” Daniel reminds me. A huff leaves me, somewhat sarcastic, somewhat pathetic. There are rules in this industry if you can call it that. No women, no children. Give peace at funerals. And leave Sundays for families. They’re signs of respect and boundaries. The only reason they’re kept is that sometimes enemies become allies and it’s easily justified by saying that the enemy always gave respect.

I know only one man who defied the laws and my little songbird stabbed that fucker to death. Not a soul defended him. And who would when his death was justified for breaking a sacred rule?

Well, that man… and then myself. I took Aria from Talvery.

“Tomorrow night then.” Daniel’s eyes shine brighter with the challenge of pulling this off.

“Jett can stay where he is and take out any of Talvery’s men that survive the hit. We need the police to stay back for at least eight hours. Instead of going in to see who’s still breathing, we let the men try to come out to read the situation, and Jett will pick them off.”

“They’ll be easy to pay off. I know Officer Harold will hold them back for a grand a minute.”

Daniel considers it and then offers another plan. “The alternative would be using explosives. But the street is a good location and that’s a mess that’ll bring too much attention.”

“Hit them tomorrow night with the automatics. Pay off the cops for four hours and we’ll hit the Talvery line up north as a distraction with the RDX, my explosive of choice courtesy of the shit Talvery put us through. Set off the explosives there at the same time as the hit on Carlisle Street. Let them focus on the bombings while we destroy their front line.”

Daniel nods in agreement, relaxing into the chair, although his foot doesn’t stop tapping on the floor, giving away his anxiety.

“Who all is there?” I ask him as my own qualms creep up on me.

“What do you mean?”

“Of Talvery’s men, who…?” I pause to swallow thickly and ask my brother flat out, “Are any of them Aria’s family?”

“Her cousin, Brett, comes by the bakery in the morning. It looks like their usual meet-up spot. He’s been there every morning for the last three days, according to Jett. But at night, no. None of her blood. What she considers family is debatable though.”

“You would think Talvery would be going out full force against Romano,” I answer back instead of entertaining his thoughts on who Aria’s family is.

“He was until yesterday. He moved the men to Carlisle, to our border the night after the dinner.” He clarifies what night he’s referring to when I give him a questioning look. “The night she killed Stephan and Romano passed the message to him. Then, yesterday, something else changed.”

I close my eyes remembering that night, remembering the feeling of pride and lust I had for her growing that night she ended Stephan’s life. “When it was confirmed that we had Aria.”

“Yeah, that’s when he moved more of his men to our side.”

“So, now he’s coming after us?” I can’t help that I smirk, loving the challenge and the flow of adrenaline in my blood.

“There are equal numbers of men posted on the two borders. But if I were him, I’d be gunning for you.”

“He knows we let her kill Stephan.”

“Maybe that’s why it’s equal and why all his men aren’t raiding our turf?”

“A man with two enemies, both pointing guns at him, who knows what he’s thinking?”

Daniel’s tone turns morose. “I have to tell you something you aren’t going to like.”

“And to think… you’re interrupting this pleasant conversation …”

“Look who’s making jokes now.”

“Maybe I’m learning a thing from you.”

“What happened last night that led him to move more men closer to us?”

I ask my brother, “Is that what you have to tell me?” I tap the pen against the desk as I think about everything Romano told me about his plans to decimate them in only four days flat.

Daniel repositions himself and nods, but his eyes are full of worry. “Romano and Talvery know where the girls are.” He visibly swallows and adds, “They followed us.”

I only nod, not wanting to acknowledge that truth. “Are you sure?” I ask him, feeling the tension build in my shoulders.

“Yeah,” he answers with a tired voice, the fidgeting of his foot finally halting as he asks me, “What do we do with the women?”

“If she doesn’t come willingly… I want mine back in the cell when this is over with.”

Daniel’s expression hardens. His disappointment and anger even, are evident. I don’t care what I told her, what promises I’ve made or how fucked a position she’s put me in. I don’t care about any of it. The possessiveness stirs in my blood and I struggle to contain myself, so I settle on redirecting Daniel. “What you do with yours is up to you.”

“You can’t do that to her.” Daniel dares to tell me what I can do. “You can’t lock her up and expect her not to fight back.”

“You’re just pissed this is affecting you and Addison, and I’m sorry for that, but I’m not letting Aria walk away from me. I won’t allow it.” The last sentence is barely spoken through clenched teeth as my heart rate quickens and my hands form white-knuckled fists.

“Do you want a prisoner or a partner?” Daniel’s question catches me off guard.

“She’ll never see me as her partner. I will always be the enemy.” I speak the truth that fills me with dread. This war has to happen. I will kill her father. And she will never see me as anything but an enemy once it’s done.

“Not if you treat her as a partner.”

“I want someone who wants me back,” I confess to him. “I want her to want me back, and that will never happen once this week is done.”

“You’re so blinded by hate that you don’t see it,” Daniel tells me as if I’m a fool.

“You and Addison are different. Don’t look at me like we’re in the same situation. And you fucking know that’s true.” He shakes his head but remains silent.

“I’ll put her back in the cell if I have to,” I tell him with finality, staring past him and at the closed door. She wanted me once and I’ll make it happen again. She’ll learn to forgive.

“What are you doing? I’ve never seen you like this.” Daniel’s expression is worried, but more than that, sympathetic.

“I loved her,” I say, and my answer is harsh; I can feel my control slipping again. It slips so easily with her.

“And?” he questions me as if he doesn’t understand. As if it isn’t obvious that the woman I love is the enemy. Even when all of them are dead and I’ve taken her back, I will always be the enemy to her and there’s nothing I can do about it. Not a damn thing.

“You still love her, so why would you do that to her?”

“I don’t know what love is.”

“You’re being fucking stupid and this ‘woe is me’ bullshit doesn’t look good on you, Carter.”

“Fuck you,” I seethe as I tell my brother off. “Addison will run, and you’ll follow like a little puppy dog, but she’ll come back to you because you didn’t do a damn thing to her. Aria…” My throat gets tighter as I speak, threatening to strangle me if I speak the words aloud. “I’m going to kill her family. I’ve locked her up, I’ve punished her.”

“What you have is different, but it’s obvious to her that you love her. You’ll see.”

“Love isn’t enough sometimes. I don’t know how you’ve gotten stuck on some fantasy, Daniel. I live in the real world, where I’m the villain. So, go ahead and tell me she’ll love me after this. Keep telling yourself that too. Whatever helps you sleep.”

Daniel doesn’t answer. A moment passes and then another before he stands up abruptly and leaves me alone.

The second the door slams shut, I turn back to the monitors, focusing on them as my blood simmers and my gut starts to churn.

My body is ringing with anger, contempt, and fear. I haven’t felt fear in so long. True fear threatens to consume me at the very real possibility of losing her.

Not if you treat her as a partner. Daniel’s words echo in my head, but how can he say that when he knows what that means in this world we inhabit?

Aria’s still staring at the phone and without hesitation, I pick up the phone on my desk and call her.

Only yesterday, she lay across my desk while I played with her cunt and her ass, knowing she loved it and thinking she loved me.

A day can change everything.

The line only rings once before she answers, cradling the phone close with both hands.

“Hello?” Just the sound of her voice is soothing. Everything about her is a balm for the burning rage inside of me.

“Do you hate me?” I ask her, needing to know.

“Have you killed them?”

A sad smirk kicks my lips up as I touch the tips of my fingers to the screen. I can see her swallow as the silence stretches, I can see her start to crumble when I don’t immediately respond. And I hate it. I hate that this is what will happen to her.

“No.” The moment I speak the word, her head falls forward and I hear her take in a deep breath. “But you know it has to happen,” I remind her as she sits up straighter, still cross-legged on the bed.

“I know,” she answers. I watch as she picks at the comforter and then readjusts but winces as she moves. No doubt the lashes from the belt are causing her pain. They barely left a mark on her. I held back, but even so, I know she’s still hurting from it.

I struggle to breathe as she asks me, “So, it’s inevitable that I’ll hate you then?”

“That’s your choice.”

“I know some of the men who have died already,” she confesses with pain etched in her voice. Her words are so strangled and unwilling to be spoken that I almost don’t hear her. It takes me a second and then another, the ticks of the clock marking each of them.

She covers her mouth with her hand, pulling the phone to one side as she gathers her composure, but keeps the other end pressed close to her ear.

“There is always loss in this business,” is all I can give her until I think to add, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” she tells me after a moment.

“This is no different than before when men standing in front of your father were shot, so to speak. They fight for him, and they die for him. It’s all happened before.”

“I’ll tell you something that maybe you don’t find obvious, Carter.” Aria finds her strength and it gives me hope until she speaks. “I hated the men who killed them before. I just didn’t have a face to associate with their deaths.”

“Romano.”

“What?” she questions and in even a single word, I feel the hope start to rise inside of me again.

“Direct your hate there, not at me.” Maybe I’m a coward for hiding behind Romano while I can, but she can’t hate me. I don’t know what I’ll become if she does.

She lies back slowly on the bed, ever so slowly, and stares at the ceiling before she asks, “This, wasn’t you?

“I haven’t had to do anything yet, but things have changed.”

“What’s changed?” she immediately asks, but her voice is even, devoid of emotion. I can hear her swallow as she asks me, “What exactly has changed?” She bunches the top sheet in her hand absently, waiting for my answer.

I question telling her for only a moment. But ultimately, I decide to give her what she wants. To treat her like a partner in this.

“The number of your father’s men that have moved closer to Carlisle Street.”

“Where’s Carlisle?” she asks with her hand falling back onto the bed, but still gripping the sheet.

As much as she’d like to know what’s going on, she has so much to learn.

“One street up from where our territories are divided, Miss Talvery.” My cock hardens as I speak to her like this as if I’m negotiating with the enemy. My little songbird is playing the part of the queen. And what a queen she would make.

“I don’t like it when you call me that,” she says quietly, but her lips stay parted long after the word is spoken. I watch on the screen as her hand moves to her belly.

“Your father is preparing to invade and conquer and he’s making it obvious.”

“He’s defending his territory.” She’s quick to reply, and I find her logic appropriate. Which makes me sit back farther in my seat.

“Remember who you are, Aria.”

“I’m still figuring out who I am, Carter.” The air of dominance wraps around her like a cloak when she talks to me like that, with only a whisper of submission. When she gives herself to me with no pretense, only honesty.

And I take that moment to tell her exactly who she is and will always be. “You’re mine.”

“Am I?” Her voice is coated in sadness as she closes her eyes.

“Yes,” the word is practically hissed as I lean closer to the screen, wishing I were there with her now.

“And if I leave this place; if I leave… to see someone?” she asks me, and I know exactly what she’s talking about. “Would I still be yours?” My pulse hammers in my ears and I bite back the initial response and the next.

I give her the only truth I know, “You will always be mine.”

“Carter,” Aria’s voice breaks and she covers her eyes with her hand as she talks. “I’m scared.”

“You’re brave,” I tell her, and she lets out a humorless laugh on the other end of the phone.

“I’m afraid I’m going to fail and we’ll both be left with no one,” she tells me, wiping under her eyes and repositioning herself on the bed, once again wincing. My gaze flicks to the nightstand where I left the cooling balm, still right where it was last night.

Ignoring her statement and refusing to think of that possibility, I ask her instead, “Are you still hurting from your punishment?”

Again, I’m given that huff of a laugh before she answers, “Yes. You left your mark on me, Mr. Cross.”

“It’s not the only mark I want to leave on you, songbird.”

I hear her breathe in deeply on the other end and I lower my voice, forgetting everything but the two of us when I ask her, “Do you love it when I call you that?”

A second passes before she whispers, “Yes.”

Again, I reach up to the screen, wishing I could touch her right now. But I can’t. Not when I know the enemy could come at any moment. My men will stay with her and protect her. So long as she’s safe, that’s all that matters.

“You need to use the balm I gave you,” I tell her and watch for her reaction.

She glances at it but doesn’t move. The tension rises inside of me at her ignoring the request. A request made to help her.

“What if I want to feel it?” she asks me before I can scold her, and confusion runs through me. “What if I think I deserve to still feel the pain and I don’t want the balm?” Her voice cracks slightly, but she holds her ground.

My poor Aria. The weight of two conflicting worlds is resting on her shoulders. And the consequences are heavier than any one person could possibly bear.

“You need to heal, so that if you disobey me again,” I tease her, “I’ll have a fresh canvas to work with when you do.” I feel the ease of a smile grow on my face as the tension subsides with her genuine laughter. It’s muted, soft, and just as feminine as Aria is.

“I guess I didn’t think of that,” she says before climbing to the edge of the bed and kicking off the thin sweatpants she’s wearing. She isn’t wearing any underwear.

The realization reminds me that I’m hard for her.

My dick throbs as it presses against my zipper and I want to lean back, to readjust, but I find myself leaning in closer to the monitor.

Holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder, she’s able to grab the balm. She asks me, “Can you see me right now?”

“Yes.”

I’m rewarded with a small smile on her lips as she looks around the room, searching for cameras she won’t find.

“Put the balm down, Aria,” I command her, feeling my cock twitch with need. I watch as she obeys me, setting it back down and standing in nothing but a thin cotton t-shirt.

“Yes, Carter,” she simpers into the phone.

“Put the phone on speaker,” I tell her, keeping my voice even so she won’t have an inkling of my deep and heavy lust for her. She does as I tell her, and the moment she does I give her another command. “Set it on the bed and get on all fours like how I had you last night.”

With the angle of the camera, I can see her pussy easily. I can even see up her shirt as it hangs around her waist and her pale pink nipples are obviously visible. “You’re fucking perfect,” I groan deep in my throat as I unzip my pants and fist my cock, pumping it once and then again.

Swallowing hard I watch as her fingers move to her sex, and she glistens with arousal.

“Do you like this, Mr. Cross?” she asks me with the sultry voice of a vixen.

“Miss Talvery, I fucking love it.” I push my confession through clenched teeth. As I stroke myself, she presses her fingers into her cunt and when she does, her eyes close and her cheek pushes against the pillow.

Her lips part and I can just barely hear the sweet moan of pleasure.

“I wish I could shove my cock down your throat right now,” I tell her as precum leaks from my slit. I rub it over the head of my dick and shivers of desire run down my spine and straight through my body, making my toes curl.

Like the good girl she is, she tells me back, “You’d make me choke on it. I love it when you do that.” Her dirty words make my cock impossibly hard and I know I’m going to cum.

“Fuck yourself faster,” I command her, and she immediately obeys. Pushing her small fingers in and out of her tight cunt. Her back bows and her hips sway with her impending orgasm.

“Hold still and grab your ass where I struck you while you cum for me,” I tell her as my balls draw up. And she does. With her head pressed into the pillow, one hand squeezing the marks on her ass and the other fucking herself, she cums violently, falling to her side and screaming out my name.

My name.

I lose myself with her, cumming into my hand like a high school prick and wishing there was nothing that separated us. Wishing we lived in a different world.