all god's orphans

Wes found Brian on the side of the road, vomiting.

“You okay?” He asked, not entirely sure he was all right himself.

“No.” Brian wiped his mouth. “I killed one of them.” Wes nodded. He had no idea what to say. He had fired his weapon, sure, but he hadn’t even caught a glimpse of the enemy after the first few seconds. He was just glad to have survived. Some of the men were dragging the dead bodies into the ditch and a small coterie gathered around their fallen fellow. Without his balaclava, they could see the dead man was no more than about seventeen years old. What had possessed him to break the line like that? None of them could say but they seemed to be revering his actions as brave rather than stupid, which is how Brian saw it. When the SUVs arrived, they loaded the body up in the back and two of the others drove back to AGO November with it.

The general’s men were taking instant charge of the situation, barking orders and yelling. They backed an SUV up to the lead truck and ordered everyone else to stand back. Inside, they formed a bucket line and passed the bricks from the trailer to the SUV, counting each as they went along. After the first one was loaded, they stood around talking for a bit and then finally addressed the regular troops.

“All right.” Announced the team leader, whose name they still did not know. “Here’s how it’s gonna be. Two men are going to drive each vehicle back to the AGO. In case you have any grand ideas of taking a vacation and ripping us off, know this: We will find you. We know exactly how many bars are in each vehicle and if even one of them turns up missing, you’ll be shot for treason.” The men stood silently, somewhat stunned by how dismissive these guys were of them. Weren’t they all on the same team? “You! Sniper!” He pointed at Brian. “And you.” Buck stepped forward. “You two are first up. Take this back to base.” Wes stepped forward.

“Do you mind if I go…” He began, but didn’t get any further.

“Shut the fuck up, conscript!” Came the blaring response from another one of the general’s men. “You do what we fucking tell you!” The leader simply ignored Wes. He handed the keys to Brian.

“Drive carefully.” He told him. “But if you’re not back at base in two hours, we come looking for you and you won’t survive that.” Brian took the keys without a word and got in with Buck hopping in beside him.

Brian watched in the rear view mirror as Wes got smaller and smaller before disappearing. He hoped the memory of this day would do the same but he doubted it would. He would remember that shot forever.

“Oh, man!” Buck bounced up and down in his seat. “Look at all that gold!” His mood was the diametrical opposite of Brian’s. “That was some fucked up shit, huh?” Brian wondered how they could have such different reactions to a firefight, but stress does weird stuff to people, he told himself. “How much do you think it’s worth?” Brian had no idea and wasn’t interested in calculating it. He had other matters to attend to. When he passed the exit that led back to the AGO, Buck became uneasy. “You missed the turn off.” He informed Brian who simply ignored him. “Hey, man.” He tried again. “You missed the exit.”

“I have something I need to do.”

“But they said we have to…”

“I have something I need to do.” Brian told him. “You can come with me or you can get the fuck out.” Buck seemed to weigh his options.

“I just don’t want to get shot.” He finally admitted.

“Then keep your mouth shut.” It took Buck a minute to realize what Brian was saying, and when he did, he was none too pleased.

Brian sped down the highway keeping any eye on the time and the loose load of heavy metal bricks behind him that could kill them both if he slammed on the brakes. He pulled of the interstate and headed into a nameless town navigating the roads as they wended between gas stations and strip malls. At last they arrived in a neighborhood of middle class dwellings, the kind that Buck’s family had always dreamed of owning. As they stopped in front of one in particular, Brian thought he should take precautions.

“You wait here.” He told Buck. “Guard the gold.” Buck took this more seriously than he needed to. They hadn’t passed anyone on the road and there was no one in this subdivision either. Buck got out and approached the house slowly. It was too quiet for him to relax. For some reason, he had imagined Daniel laying around listening to loud music or something, and the fact that there was only dead silence suddenly brought home the reality that things might be worse than he expected.

Opening the front door did little to assuage his fears. It stank. Not of death, but of shit and rot. Open food containers lay strewn about the place, covering virtually every flat surface. It looked like images he’d seen of hoarders on television.

“Daniel?” He called out. “It’s me! Where are you?” He listened intently and with each second that passed without Daniel’s answer, his heart trembled just a little bit more. “Daniel?” He called again, this time more apprehensive. No answer. He moved swiftly through the house dreading the opening of each door for what he might find behind it and then realizing it might be worse to find nothing.

He went through every closet, every cupboard, carefully at first and then ever more frantically tearing open doors. He opened the back door and stood on the porch, yelling as loudly as he could.

“DANIEL!!!” His echo hung over the scene, repeating itself into silence that remained unbroken by any response. He told himself that maybe Daniel had run out of food and had gone out looking for some. He would find him somewhere, sucking on a Twinkie or some other disgusting, delicious junk food. He hopped back in the SUV without a word.

“Now what?” Buck wanted to know.

“I’m going to find my brother.” He replied. Buck didn’t say anything and that worried Brian, but he had bigger concerns at the moment.

He backed out into the street and began slowly winding his way through the subdivision, careful not to get lost amid all the identical houses. He rolled down the window and began to shout. Buck was getting impatient and nervous. They were drawing needless attention to themselves, he thought. And he had heard stories of what was going on in the world outside the AGOs. He didn’t want a roaming band of thieves to find them with all this gold. If Brian was trying to steal it, Buck thought to himself, then he was going to have to kill him. He silently considered this eventuality and decided that he was willing and able if it came to that. He was a soldier, after all, and he had his orders.

They rolled through every street and checked every little gas station, but there was no sign of Daniel. Brian briefly considered letting Buck drive back to base without him, but he worried about what might happen to Carla. When they saw a sign pointing the way back to the interstate, with a leaden heart, he turned to follow it. There were fewer buildings on this back road, but it was clear this was going to be another subdivision. The street was freshly laid asphalt and there were street lamps at regular intervals in anticipation of the traffic that would come when this field began to sprout starter homes. In a daze, he drove straight on, keeping his eyes facing the road but not really looking.

“What is that?” Buck asked out of nowhere and Brian followed his gaze into the distance where he spotted something hanging from one of the brand new street light. This shit again, he thought to himself. However, as they drove nearer and the details of the hanged body became clearer, it got increasingly harder to breathe.

He rolled to a stop near the lamppost and got out. The body hung about fifteen feet in the air and was stripped bare except for the underwear. His hands were tied behind his back and a black bag covered his head. Another sign dangled from around his neck and fear nearly drove Brian mad. He didn’t want to look. Didn’t want it to be true, but he already knew. He cut the rope and lowered the dead man gently to the ground. Silently he stood over the corpse, gathering every sinew under his command and ordering them to stand firm. Be strong. Buck got out of the truck and ambled up to the body.

“‘HIV’.” He read the rough wooden sign. “Was this guy a faggot?” Brian snapped and grabbed Buck by the collar, nearly lifting him off his feet before catching himself. He let him go and tried to cover up his mistake.

“I’m just on edge.” He finally said as Buck took a few steps back and surreptitiously put a hand on his weapon. “Wait in the truck. I’ll bury the body myself.”

“We don’t have time….”

“WAIT IN THE FUCKING TRUCK!!” Brian was losing control. The violence of his timbre surprised even him, or it would have if he’d been paying attention. As it was, he simply heard the words exit his throat and punch Buck in the ear. As Buck got back into the vehicle, he considered leaving Brian there, but he’d taken the keys.

Brian tried to lift the body from the street, but his strength refused him and he was forced to drag the body across a ditch and into the open field beyond it. He made sure he was far enough away before kneeling beside the body. Putting his hand on the scrawny chest, the cold skin shocked him. This was wrong. Flesh should be warm. Weak hands loosened the hangman’s knot and slowly removed the hood. Daniel.

Brian’s universe shifted and the pillars of his center crumbled. Grief’s black wings wrapped around him, shielding him from time itself. In its embrace, there was nothing outside of this moment. No light. No sound. Only this. Forever. No tears came. It was as though Brian’s mind could comprehend the reality, but his body refused. For a long minute, he knelt, frozen in place, a monument to grief carved out of ice, clear and cold. He looked up at the sky and felt the sun on his face. Suddenly he couldn’t face the thought of putting Daniel in the ground. He wanted him to feel warmth for as long as possible. He stood slowly, commanding his knees not to buckle. He knew he must turn and walk away. Carla needed him and he had made a promise to Daniel. He let unseen marionette strings turn his head and guide his feet back to the road, leaving his center of balance in that field for all time. If Buck said a single word on the way back to base, Brian feared he might kill him, but luckily, Buck wasn’t that stupid.

When they got back to the AGO, he found that two other vehicles had already returned. They were stopped near the gate as the denizens of the camp crowded around, pressing themselves against the vehicles in a way that seemed almost carnal. Brian got out, leaving millions of dollars behind without looking back. His only concern was finding Carla, but it would be difficult in all this excitement. Wes spotted him and dashed to his side.

“Where have you been, man?” He seemed genuinely worried. “We left about an hour after you.” In Brian’s eyes, Wes could see that something had changed in him. “What happened?”

“Daniel’s dead.” He sputtered. Saying it aloud brought his whole façade down around him. “Fucking Revelation Riders, or somebody else, hung him like a common thief.” Brian began to break down completely and Wes hustled him into the nearest tent, which was empty since it seemed the entire camp had gone to stare at gold.

Inside the dark of the tent, Brian fell to knees and wailed. Wes knelt beside him, trying to console him but had no idea what to say. Instead he simply held him in silence as Brian fell forward to the ground, flooding the grass with his tears.

After a while, exhaustion stopped Brian’s body from wracking and grief took a smoke break just long enough for him to stumble onto one of the nearby cots. Wes sat beside him.

“Something is going on here.” Wes finally said. “We need to leave. We need to grab Carla and get the fuck out of here.” Brian turned his puffy eyes on Wes.

“What do you mean?” He had never heard such fear in Wes before.

“There’s something weird they’re not telling us.” Wes took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I had to drive back with one of those special forces psychos. He was on the radio back to the AGO and I could hear the voice on the other end. It sounded like the general and he kept mentioning ‘federal troops’.” Brian’s brow scrunched. “What the fuck is that about? Who are ‘federal troops’ if not us?”

“Did you hear anything else?” Brian asked.

“They were talking about federal troops having set up a border near Kansas City and to avoid contact. Do you think…” Wes began but the absurdity stopped him. “Do you think we’re in the middle of some kind of civil war?” They both contemplated this. “I mean, it’s not like we would know. There’s no news anymore. No internet. How would we know?” Brian agreed. “I say we get Carla and go find some answers. We need to find the truth.” Having a new mission reached into Brian’s gut and injected some much needed purpose. He still had a job to do.

“I’ll go find Carla. We’ll say we’re headed back to the convoy for another load and hide her in the back. Nobody’s even paying attention anymore.” Wes nodded.

“I’ll get a vehicle and meet you near the gate.”

They split up and Brian headed into the crowds to find Carla, but before he could, Sgt. MacDunn grabbed his arm and jerked him aside.

“Come with me.” He ordered, and Brian decided now wasn’t the time to put up a fight. He followed MacDunn into one of the construction trailers.

“Sit down, soldier.” MacDunn said and took the other seat. Between them was a cheap metal desk and a map on the wall with red circles drawn on it. Brian noticed that there seemed to be a wall of them that passed through Kansas City. There was no way to get west without passing that cordon and recent events had him wondering who was manning those posts and why.

MacDunn sat down and made a show of looking through a file. Brian was pretty sure he was looking at equipment requisition forms but was pretending he had some thick file on Brian. “I’ve just been given some disturbing news.” MacDunn began. “It seems you disobeyed a direct order from one of the general’s men to return to base immediately. Instead, you took an army vehicle on official business as your personal ride to go sightseeing.”

“I wasn’t sight…” He began.

“Furthermore, you threatened another soldier and also took the time to bury a corpse you had found.” Brian bit his lip. He just had to keep it together a little while longer. MacDunn stared at him. “Anything to say for yourself?” Brian shrugged. MacDunn nodded. “In that case, I am going to place you in custody immediately.” MacDunn stood up and Brian saw that he was wearing his sidearm. He thought it best not to resist. His mind spun as MacDunn placed the cuffs on him. “You will be court martialed at a time to be chosen by command. In the meantime, we will hold you in confinement here.” Just as he finished speaking, an alarm went off, filling the sky with a panicked ‘woop woop’. They had never heard it before and had no idea what it meant.