Alive At Night (Wildflower Series Book 1)

JUNIPER AND I DIDN’T often attend meetings together. This was a special occasion. A very special occasion.

It was a virtual client meeting primarily run by Daphne. I did a lot of grunt work for her cases, which honestly didn’t bother me in the slightest. It was the price to be paid until I moved up in seniority. And today, my role as notetaker granted me ample opportunity to admire my girlfriend, who was sitting behind me at her desk, providing translations for our client as needed.

Despite the irritation I used to feel that we were pursuing the same career, I’ve always thought that working in law was a good fit for Juniper, mostly because of her smart mouth and determination. But now that I’d uncovered the hidden parts of Juniper, I saw the makings of an outstanding attorney. She wanted to fight for people. She wanted to use her bilingualism to open more doors and reduce barriers. She wanted to be an adoption law advocate.

She was a better person than me on so many levels; I’d picked law as a career more for what it could do for my family and me than for what I could do for others. Not to say I wouldn’t fight like hell for my clients or put my all into my cases, but Juniper had a passion that exceeded what I recognized in myself.

It was just another thing to love about her.

Juniper was passionate about the world, and I was passionate about her. Everything about her. Especially how she kept wiggling in her chair as another language flew from her lips.

Good fucking thing my camera was off because the number of times I’d looked away from my notes to study Juni’s mannerisms, every little shift of her body, was sky-high. She’d dared to look back and glare at me at least once, but I wasn’t exactly sure why. I hadn’t done anything.

Well, I hadn’t done anything else.

She was just mad that thoughts of having me deep inside her were creating a distraction.

I watched her gorgeous face flush brighter on my computer screen, almost like she could hear what was happening in my head.

“I hate you,” Juniper snapped as soon as the meeting ended. She clicked her computer shut before spinning in her chair to attack me with her glare. But it immediately shifted into something different when she moved too quickly. Her lips zipped closed as she withheld a groan, and I felt my dick stir in my pants at even the slightest sound of her arousal.

“You did so well, baby,” I said, ignoring her comment. She didn’t hate me; she hated what I could do to her so easily. But moving forward, I vowed to only ever use that power to make her feel good, and she was about to find out. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I—what?”

She hadn’t been expecting that, and the fire drained away from her glare. I could almost see how she warmed from the inside out, melting beautifully at my praise.

“It used to irritate me so much, how perfect you are,” I explained. “But that was only because I couldn’t have you. So now I love that I can sit back and watch you be amazing while getting to appreciate it.”

“Julian…I—appreciate?”

Her jumble of words was adorable, but I just nodded. And when it was clear that Juni was still struggling to fully understand everything I was saying, I lowered my voice and continued.

“I appreciate every bit of you, Juniper.”

My eyes stayed glued to hers, despite wanting to sweep them over the rest of her. Juni, on the other hand, let her gaze lower until I felt her stare acutely on my growing erection. And damn, did that ever bring out the smugness in her.

“Who would have ever thought that Julian Briggs likes telling me how good I am.”

I leaned forward with a whisper. “And who would have ever thought that Juniper St. James likes hearing it so goddamn much.”

She glanced away, all shy-like, and I knew we understood each other perfectly. But she was dead wrong if she thought we were done with this conversation. Standing, I locked our office door, thankful that there weren’t any windows looking in. I strode to where Juni sat at her desk. When she kept her eyes averted, I slid my hand up her throat until my thumb landed on her jawline and had the power to turn her face back toward me.

“It’s okay to admit to liking it, Juni. I have a lot of things that I could admit to.”

That piqued her interest. “Such as?”

The tips of my fingers pressed right against Juni’s pulse, and I felt it speed up as she waited for me to answer. I loved that, that reaction. I loved it so much that I couldn’t help but draw out my response even more, watching the anticipation light a match in her waiting gaze.

I swiped my thumb up to her lip, tugging it down slowly. “When we started working together, sometimes you’d open this beautiful mouth and snap my name, and I wondered how many other ways I could get you to say it.”

Her breath hitched. And then…a whisper. “Julian.”

“Yeah, baby, like that. It sounds so good when you say my name.” The corners of my lip curled up. “But it sounds even better when you scream it.”

Her pulse was sprinting now, that little beat in her neck thrashing out of control. “What else? What else can you admit?”

I paused, thinking. There were so many things.

“I’d look for you in the stands at my football games in high school,” I admitted, suddenly wanting to spill every little secret I possessed about her.

Juniper’s eyes rounded, growing in size. “Really? I’d hide from you in the stands at your football games in high school.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want you to know I cared about you.”

“You cared about me?” The thought made my pulse pick up.

She nodded slowly, holding my gaze. “I’d have to disguise my worry every time you were tackled so Gemma wouldn’t notice.”

“I was tackled a lot. Our offensive line sucked.”

“I was worried a lot.”

She said it like it was simple. It was anything but.

“I worried about you all through college, too,” she added. “I used to be embarrassed about how I cared, about how much I thought about you when I was so sure you never thought of me. I was…”

Her words drifted away, and I nearly toppled straight over, considering I’d been hanging onto every one of them for dear life. I wasn’t sure anyone had been worried about me before. I was always the one doing the worrying.

“Finish the sentence, Juniper.”

She steeled herself as though worried her vulnerability would have consequences. “I was happy when you decided not to go pro. I knew I’d probably obsess and worry over your games if you did.”

God, every day. Every single day since starting this job, I had some sort of conversation with Juniper that made it hard to breathe for one reason or another.

Juniper’s pulse hadn’t slowed.

“Are you worried now?”

She shook her head.

My lips split into a wicked grin. “You should be. Because you know what else I can admit to?”

“What?”

I let my voice drop. “Thinking endlessly about what you’d look like bent over my desk.”

Leaning down, I brushed my lips over hers right as she gasped at my words. I kept it light at first, kept my grip around her throat loose. But then Juni parted her lips, and I couldn’t not taste her. I wrenched us closer together, plundering her mouth with my tongue. She strained toward me, and I felt her body shudder, needing more.

When she breathed my name against my lips, it felt like pulling away from her would destroy me, but somehow, I managed it.

“You feel it everywhere, don’t you?” I let my voice scrape over her skin. “The way you need me.”

She whimpered in response, gliding her teeth over her bottom lip as she blinked up at me.

“You did so good in that meeting, acting like you weren’t getting wetter for me by the minute.” I held her by the chin, not letting her look away. “I know what it’s like to pretend you’re not dying inside. I had to do it for so many years, Juni baby.”

“Not anymore, though,” she breathed. “So show me everything. Give me everything.”

A smile spread slowly over my face. She would regret those last words, but I was more than happy to oblige in doing them.

As soon as I held out my hand, Juni took it. She let me lead her to my desk and position her in front of it. I wanted her to have as pretty of a view as I was about to have.

“You’ve always been such a fucking princess.” I splayed my hand across her back, bending her over my desk precisely as I imagined. “And if you want everything, I’ll give you everything.”

Juni looked over her shoulder at me, a hot, simmering grin sliding into place. But then her eyes caught on something behind me, and uncertainty washed over her. She was staring at the door. I knew she was. So I waited for her to tell me to stop, to emphasize how bad of an idea it was to fuck in the middle of the day at our office. But she couldn’t find the words. We both knew she wanted it too fucking bad, and I knew that she had nothing to worry about. This wouldn’t take long.

She didn’t realize that, though. She didn’t yet realize how fast I could make her come if I wanted. And I’d follow her instantly; that was how badly I ached for her. Watching her get more and more aroused during that meeting had been torture.

But I still wanted to ease her worries, so I left Juni bent over my desk to snatch the headphones off hers. The noise-canceling headphones I’d gotten her for Christmas, of course. Then I double-checked the door before grabbing her phone, holding it in front of Juni’s pretty face to unlock it, and finding the exact thing I was looking for.

Of course Juniper had the audiobook version of my other Christmas gift on her phone. I would have expected nothing less. And I knew just what part to have her listen to.

When I placed one side of the headphones over her ear, she balked at me. I knew she could hear the audio, which just happened to be the dirtiest part of the book.

“How—”

“This book has been sitting around my apartment for the last week. Did you really think I wouldn’t want to learn about my competition?”

“My books are not your competition, Julian.”

“Yeah?” I smirked, ignoring her. “I think after you experience both in real time, you’ll no doubt realize which is better.”

I dropped the other side of the headphone over her ear before she could say anything more and got to work, shimmying Juni’s dress over her hips like I did this morning. And also like this morning, I pulled down her tights and worked her underwear to the side to see how perfect she looked for me.

Fucking hell, I was dying. Absolutely dying at this point. I needed her, needed to finish what we had started in my apartment. Should I be doing this? No. Just because I’d sent that email to HR last week didn’t mean we could fuck in our office whenever we wanted. But I also couldn’t stop. I would have to figure out some sort of method for resisting Juniper during the workday, but I wasn’t going to figure it out today. That was for damn sure.

Without warning, I drove my finger inside her slick pussy, enjoying how tightly she immediately clenched.

“Julian!” Though she whispered my name, hissing at me, I could hear the urgency in it, the desperation.

“See?” I chuckled to myself, knowing she couldn’t even hear me. “My name sounds so good when you say it, love.”

Juni’s quiet cries continued as I worked my finger in and out faster. “Julian, I don’t think…I can’t. I can’t. It feels too good. I won’t be able to—”

I clapped my hand over her mouth and leaned down. After momentarily pushing the headphones out of the way, I breathed in her ear. “I know, Juni baby. I know. You’re about to come harder than you ever thought possible, but you’ll be a good girl and take it while staying quiet for me.”

“Yes,” Juni moaned softly into my hand, and I returned to her pussy, playing with her clit with one hand while unbuckling my belt with the other. By the time I had my cock ready at her entrance, Juni was a panting mess beneath my fingers. I replaced my hand over her mouth, knowing I’d need to stifle everything she was about to feel.

I watched Juni’s eyes flutter shut, her lips drifting apart as she listened to something sinfully sweet. And then, in case she needed a reminder that I was still here, I applied the slightest bit of pressure to the…accessory still sitting snugly in her pretty ass.

Prepared, I caught her groan with my palm, and then before she could fully recover, I pushed my cock into her dripping wet pussy.

True to her word, Juniper swallowed those hot noises of hers, and I tried to do the same as I reacquainted myself with how goddamn good she felt. Thank fuck I wouldn’t have to last long. I could already feel Juniper tightening around me, likely overstimulated with being filled in more than one way. Which was exactly what I had been banking on.

I pulled out slightly before ramming into her harder, rubbing her clit in time with my thrusts. Juniper’s fingers curled into little fits as she took it, and I realized just how much I was getting off on watching her try to contain herself. Her muffled cries, her eyes squeezed shut, her pussy strangling me.

Only seconds later, she exploded around me, her entire body trembling and quaking beneath mine. It was perfect timing because I came moments after she did, filling her to the brim. Juni slumped to the desk immediately following her climax, and I tried to be as gentle as I could when I pulled out of her and removed the plug. Little whimpers were my only clue that she even noticed, and I bit down on a smile.

I didn’t take the headphones off until I’d cleaned us both up as best I could, and then I prompted, “So?”

If she said the fireside fuck in the audiobook scene she was listening to was the best part of that, I wasn’t quite sure what I’d do. Probably try again to convince her otherwise, not that I minded partaking in that. Maybe I’d have to recreate the scene for myself, rent a cozy place in Vermont for the weekend that had a massive fireplace to fuck in front of. Yeah, that sounded pretty nice.

Juni pretended to think hard, moving to stand slowly—almost as though it was now foreign not to have something inside her. She grinned, teasing me with how her lips curved as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I really can’t say which is better, and if you loved me, you wouldn’t make me pick between you and my books.”

My smile grew as hers faded amidst the realization of what she’d just said. It was an offhand thing, I could tell. Brown eyes popped wide in instant anxiety.

“Julian, I didn’t—”

I cut off her floundering with a hard kiss before moving toward the door. The noises of people chatting and phones ringing went on outside the door, the rest of the office completely unaware of what had just happened inside our little space.

“What are you doing?” she hissed, looking bewildered.

“I’m not making you pick,” I said with a grin. “Between me and the books.” Juni’s jaw dropped slightly, but figuring I’d already pushed her limits a few times today, I pointed her toward her desk and switched the topic. “Now, go sit down and cross your legs before you make a mess out of those tights with my cum.”

Her jaw dropped further, but I didn’t miss how she squeezed her legs together tighter as she stood there. It was then that I realized I’d just switched putting one thing inside Juni for another. And that thought would equally torture me the rest of the day.

Fuck.

I closed the door behind me when I left, still thinking it was the best Monday ever.

That is, until I returned from the bathroom and saw a text that ruined fucking everything.

GRAYSON: Hey, man. Can we schedule a time to chat about Gabriel’s case? There are a few things I wanted to talk about with you.

I sat at my desk, staring at Grayson’s text as the clock ticked and tocked behind me. Juni was somehow engrossed in her work, her keyboard clicking as she typed at a furious pace.

I didn’t know how she did it, how she returned to her computer so easily. The only reason I wasn’t still obsessing over what we’d just done was because of Grayson’s text.

Gabriel’s case.

I hadn’t even thought about Gabriel’s case since before Christmas, when Juniper first stayed over. The last several weeks, I had been so wholly focused on Juniper that I’d forgotten entirely about the promise I’d made to Grayson to finalize our approach, discuss the case with Daphne, and actually take legal action.

I was a shitty friend.

I was a shitty friend and a shitty lawyer.

Christ, I’d just fucked Juni over my desk in the middle of the workday without pausing for even one second to think about the consequences. We’d only been dating for a couple of weeks, and already I was throwing away my rationality and commitment to my career.

To be honest, I knew this would happen. From the second her lips touched mine, I knew that if I let Juniper in, she would completely take over. It had been the whole reason I’d tried to push her away, even after making her come apart against our office door. I was obsessed with this woman to the point that I didn’t know how to balance my life in a way where I had room for every part when Juni was so many parts of it.

I couldn’t blame it on Juni. Considering how focused she was on her work right now, she wasn’t the problem here. It was me.

What was I supposed to say to Gray? Yeah, man, we can definitely talk about it. But I haven’t done any of the things I said I would do the last time we talked because I’ve been too busy with my own life to care about yours?

Was this who I was now? Someone who dropped the ball when their friend needed them? And not just any friend. This was Grayson. I was the best fucking man at his wedding. And Gabriel, who had a congenital heart defect, was my godson.

Shame crawled over me, coating my entire body with disgust. I was disgusted with myself. That glow that I’d felt when I walked away from Juni earlier had vanished, and now I only felt…dread.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I heard Juniper sigh behind me, pulling me out of the existential time warp I’d been stuck in.

“Do you want to grab some lunch?”

After swallowing past the dryness in my throat, I shook my head. “No, I should really keep working on…”

I drifted off when I realized I was so lost in my own brain about how I should be focused on my job that I wasn’t even remotely focused on my job and had no idea what I should even be doing.

God, I was a mess.

“Okay,” Juni said, sounding nonplussed about my refusal. “I’m just going to run across the street and get a sandwich. I’ll bring you back something?”

“That would be great.” I turned to look at her, withholding a groan when I saw how happy and pretty she was, especially today. Her hair was curled in loose waves, and her earrings sparkled in the sun when she cocked her head to the side with a grin. I wanted to scoop her up and bring her back home to our bubble. “Whatever you’re getting would be perfect,” I said. “Thanks, Daisy.”

She nodded before grabbing her coat and walking from the room. I regretfully watched her disappear before returning to my computer with a heavy sigh.

Maybe now that she was gone, I could concentrate on doing something for my job.

But that thought only made a different type of guilt swell inside me.

On top of everything else, I was a shitty boyfriend, too. I should have offered to go with Juni. She was only running across the street, and it was so unlike Juniper to remember to eat during the day that I was sure she’d asked only to spend time together. And what were another few minutes off task in the grand scheme of things?

As if to belabor the point, I barely got through any of my notes before Juni waltzed back into our office. She set a to-go box on my desk before sliding both hands onto my shoulders and squeezing, massaging them.

Oh, hell. Did she not understand that even just a breeze carrying the scent of her fucking perfume could turn me on? If she touched me, I was really done for.

“How’s it going?”

Hearing her voice, sweet and tinted with concern, combined with her touch, which made my body heat from the inside out, nearly tipped me over the edge.

“I’m struggling to concentrate.”

It was very much the truth, but the words sounded harsher coming out of my mouth than I’d meant for them to.

Juni’s hands disappeared from my shoulder.

“I’ll leave you alone, then.”

Alone. Yeah, maybe I just needed a little time alone. I couldn’t feel guilty about ignoring Juni if she wasn’t in the same room as me, and I couldn’t get distracted by how perfect she was if I couldn’t see her, right?

Wrong.

Moving to work in the commons area for the rest of the afternoon definitely hadn’t improved my mood. Since I texted Grayson back, saying I would call him later, I pushed all my other work around to focus on Gabriel’s case.

But Gabriel’s case reminded me of Juniper. She’d done most of the legwork with this; she deserved to help me finish it. That meant going back to our office, though. That meant risking another preoccupation.

So I stayed. I stayed at an uncomfortable table surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the rest of the office, trying to get anything done that I could without letting my thoughts drift back to the beautiful brunette sitting next to my desk—who only a few hours ago I had bent over my desk.

Impossible. Absolutely impossible.

I gave up a little after five o’clock. I’d managed to get something done, though it wasn’t much. An afternoon free of meetings was so rare, and I wasted most of it. But I gave it my best. And now I’d get to spend the rest of the night with—

I spun in a circle like a dog chasing his tail, looking for Juniper inside our office. But she was gone. Her computer was gone, her coat was gone, she was gone.

How did I not see her leaving? How did she not see me and stop to say something?

More of the familiar dread sank low in my gut. After fumbling with my phone, I found Juniper’s contact and hit Dial. And thank fucking God, she picked up on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Juni baby,” I said, my stomach tangling in knots. I’d fumbled everything this afternoon; I knew I did. Hurting her had never been my intention, but I was still so bad at this—so bad at juggling everyone who needed me. “Did you leave already?”

“Yeah,” she replied, her voice sounding strangled.

There was a pause where the background noise seeped in through the speaker. She was definitely somewhere busy, somewhere crowded. Somewhere that had clinking glasses and loud laughter. But I tried to pay close attention to her voice, to the tone and her words. But they weren’t at all the ones I had been expecting.

“Do you…” She took another brief pause. “Do you have any chocolate cookie dough ice cream in your freezer? I could use some right about now.”

The question caught me off guard, and I froze, standing in the middle of our office, the phone smashed against my face as if I could somehow get closer to Juniper that way. And as soon as I ran her words back through my head, my entire body tensed even tighter.

Valentine’s Day in high school. Juniper hiding at my house from Kennedy. Me telling her we always had ice cream if she ever needed to come over for some more, for if she ever needed to escape Kennedy again.

“Always, Juniper,” I breathed, trying to keep the tension from my voice. “Where are you?”

“I’m getting a drink at—”

The line cut off right before the sentence finished, and a curse ripped from my lips.

What the hell?

I didn’t understand how Juniper had gone from sitting next to me in our office to sitting somewhere with Greg Kennedy, but I was almost positive that was what she had just told me. Kennedy or some other ex or asshole bothering her. And she clearly didn’t want to be obvious about it, otherwise she would have said it outright.

Fear swallowed my already tense body.

If anyone fucking touched her…

I wasn’t planning on breaking more fingers tonight, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t. Fuck, I should have done more about Greg a long time ago. How he showed up unannounced when Juniper was back at her parents and kept trying relentlessly to worm back into her life was a huge red flag that I should have taken more seriously.

My phone chimed, and hope rose back up until it was immediately crushed when I saw the text was from Gemma.

GEMS: Are you the reason Juni begged to get a drink after work? What the hell did you do this time?

I ignored the guilt and pang of annoyance at my sister for both assuming it was my fault and also being right about it. Instead, I focused on the first part of what she’d said.

Are you with her?

GEMS: No, I’m on my way to meet her.

Where is she?

Staring at my phone, I held my breath while waiting for a reply. But when Gemma didn’t immediately answer, I gave up and called her.

“Are you calling to confess your wrongdoings?” she questioned as soon as she picked up.

“Where is she, Gemma?” I said lowly, cutting to the chase. Grabbing my wallet and keys, I left the rest of my stuff for tomorrow and headed toward the lobby doors. I had a feeling about where Juni was, but if Gemma could confirm it for me, that would be best. I didn’t want to waste a single minute.

“Oh no, I’m not going to tell you so you can go make it worse.”

“Gemma,” I ground out through clenched teeth. “Tell me where the fuck she is. Now.”

She snickered, and the fact that she thought this was funny made my blood boil. “Tell me what you did first.”

“This isn’t a game. Something’s wrong, and if anything fucking happens to her, I swear to God—” Visions of Juniper hurt danced before my eyes, and I snapped. “Goddamnit, Gemma, please. I love her, okay? I fucking love her more than I even know how to comprehend, and I need you to tell me where the hell she—”

“She’s at the Bellflower,” Gemma cut in, sounding breathless. Shock ran through her words.

I sighed raggedly, relieved I was close and that my suspicion had been correct. I was already halfway there. Only a few more steps and I’d be striding into the bar. And then afterward, I could deal with what I’d just shouted at my sister.

“Gemma, I…”

“I know, Jules.” Her voice was small, but I couldn’t quite tell the other emotion swimming in it. “I’ve always known.”

She’d always known.

Because I’d been in love with Juniper St. James since I was seventeen years old, standing in the hospital waiting room, waiting to see her with bated breath.

Before that, even.

Swallowing past the thickness in my throat, I shook my head. “I’m almost there,” I said. “I have to go.”

“I’ll be there soon,” Gemma replied, and we hung up.

Pushing all other thoughts aside, I entered the bar and immediately began searching for Juniper.