Alive At Night (Wildflower Series Book 1)

JUNIPER MADE ME SLEEP on the couch.

I mean, she didn’t make me. As much as I’d wanted to crawl in beside her last night, sleeping in the same bed as Juniper was a proven form of torture. Until she was convinced of every fucking thing I said recently, I didn’t trust myself that close to her.

We shouldn’t be doing any of this, but I no longer cared. As hard as I tried to reason, I couldn’t push Juniper away like I did when we were younger. If the last few months had taught me anything, it was that. She was there, right fucking there, and unless I changed jobs and moved out of Boston, which I really didn’t want to do, that wouldn’t be changing.

From the minute she walked out of the office to go on a date with Noah, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it. I couldn’t sit on the sidelines and watch her live life without me. Especially when she looked so goddamn unhappy about it. It would be different if I thought she wasn’t hurt, if she didn’t ache just as much.

All I could do was embrace it. I pushed down all those other thoughts that had been circulating in my brain for the last decade and embraced every ounce of emotion, all of it surrounding Juniper. Juniper. And I came to one conclusion.

She was fucking mine.

Juniper St. James was mine; there was no denying it any longer. She thought she was Noah’s to take out on a date? Never, not ever. They were both fucking around with me, and I knew it, but that didn’t stop me from spiraling until I had Juniper back in my arms again. She. Was. Mine. And now I just needed her to stick around long enough so I could prove it to her.

I’d never had a problem sharing.

But sharing Juniper St. James?

Not a chance in hell would I ever be good at that.

Closing my eyes to shield the sun coming through the windows of my living room, I wondered if I’d manage to get another twenty minutes of sleep when all I could think of was how Juni was in bed less than twenty feet away. My bed. She was in my bed. And I was out here, getting a crick in my neck.

Maybe I could climb in with her, just for a few minutes. Just to savor a bit of closeness before we went to work and spent the whole day pretending that we didn’t want to jump each other’s—

“How’s my little sleeping beauty?”

Juniper’s sugary voice broke through my daydreams of crawling beneath the covers to find her warm body, and I sighed with the realization that it wouldn’t happen. Not today. She was already awake—of course she was already awake.

“Who the hell you calling little, Daisy?” I muttered. She’d be eating her words soon enough. Until then, I resigned myself to reality and opened my eyes. And then nearly fell off the couch. “Jesus fuck.”

“Oh, you are awake.” Her smile stretched wide as she walked into my kitchen to grab a glass of water. “I thought maybe I’d need to play Prince Charming and kiss you to get you up.”

I groaned, running a hand over my face. Nothing sounded better than a good-morning kiss from Juni, but if she came over here dressed like that, we probably wouldn’t make it to work at all.

“I peeked into your closet,” she added cheekily as if it weren’t already fucking obvious. She rounded the corner of my kitchen counter, leaning on the end of it so I could get a full view of her in my college football jersey. And nothing else. In a slow, torturous movement, she set her glass of water back onto the counter before spinning. BRIGGS, written across the back of the blue-and-gold jersey, flashed at me.

“I’m a little sad that I never got to see you play in college,” she said before flicking her long, wavy hair over her shoulder. With the small C on the front of my jersey showing, she added, “Captain.”

She was trying to fucking kill me.

“Juniper,” I intoned—a warning.

“Julian,” she said, her voice sultry and sweet. Her eyes landed on my bare chest, dropping until they hit the blanket around my waist, which was thankfully covering a painful case of morning wood. Today, it had nothing to do with it being morning and everything to do with Juniper standing in my kitchen half-naked.

I leaned forward, pinning her with a stare so she knew how goddamn serious my next words were.

“Unless you want to lose your virginity by getting bent over my kitchen table before work, I’d suggest you go back into my room right fucking now,” I said, lowering my voice and making sure it dripped with intent.

Juniper worried her bottom lip between her teeth and cocked her head to the side in consideration, but she didn’t leave. She returned my look, and hers simmered.

Unable to bear it, I flung myself back onto the couch, rubbing the heel of my hands over my eyes. “What are you doing to me, Juni?” I groaned.

“Does it bother you?” she whispered.

“Bother me?” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “When you tease the hell out of me? Yes, yes it—”

“No,” she cut me off. “Not that.”

Her voice didn’t have that heat that I just saw in her gaze, and it forced me to open my eyes again.

“That I’ve never—” She glanced away.

“No.” I shook my head as I understood, and then I kept shaking it, pushing myself up. “Fuck no.”

Juniper still wasn’t looking at me. So I ignored any sense of reasoning—a common trend these days—and rolled off the couch to close the distance between us.

“I’m obsessed,” I emphasized, which got her attention. Her eyes snapped to me, widening when she realized I was walking toward her with clear intentions. I needed her body against mine, and then I got it. My fingers tangled into her hair at the nape of her neck, and I yanked down, forcing her to look up at me and listen to every word I was about to say. She gasped, and the heat was back. “I’m beyond obsessed with the idea that no one else has fucking touched you like I plan to.”

Juniper’s eyes did the talking as she searched my face for any indication that I was telling the truth. But all of it was so goddamn true. I still couldn’t believe it, that she hadn’t been with anyone else.

“I’m a selfish man, Juniper,” I murmured, “and you made my goddamn year with that news.”

She frowned. “You’re not selfish.”

“Oh, I am with you. Haven’t you figured that out by now?” Giving in to temptation, I whispered a kiss over her forehead. “I get grumpy when I have to share you with others, and I’ve been doing it my whole life. So now…”

“So now?” Juni repeated when I didn’t finish my sentence.

“Now I can’t stop thinking about getting a part of you all to myself.” I sighed, knowing I needed to stop this conversation before I got carried away. “But I know I won’t get it this morning, so I need you to give me a goddamn break.”

Juniper’s lips curved, her expression now sparkling and satisfied. “Do you really think you deserve a break, Julian Briggs?”

Goddamn her. “I’m sure I don’t.”

She shrugged, and I released my hold on her hair, trailing my fingers down her neck in a soft caress. “Yesterday was a good day,” she said, shivering a bit. “I’ll give you that.”

That was an understatement, in my opinion. Everything from the morning together to the drinks after work to us staying up late working on Grayson’s case was good. Great. I wanted days like that every day now.

“But you don’t have to do all that, you know,” she added.

“All what?”

“The food, the drinks, the sweet talk, everything. I appreciate the effort, but I just want you for who you are, Julian.”

“And you have me.”

Her shine dulled just a bit when she looked up at me. Disbelief still touched her irises, making me want to punch something. Of course I knew it would take more than one day to erase years of being a shithead. Of course she thought I was acting yesterday when in reality, it felt freeing. But it still hurt to see.

“We need to get ready,” I said, accepting that I wouldn’t be able to change how Juni felt in the next ten minutes. “Go change, and we’ll stop by your place on the way to work.”

Juniper began walking backward toward my bedroom. Her sly grin reappeared. “You mean you don’t think I should wear this to work?”

“It’s up to you.” I shrugged, returning her smirk. “It’s your virginity at risk.”

“You just really love football, don’t you?” she said with a laugh. “It does it for you, huh?”

“It has nothing to do with football,” I said, shoving my hands in the pockets of my sweatpants as I watched her dance away from me. “And everything to do with seeing you wear my name.”

She paused by the bathroom door, seeming reluctant to step inside and separate again. She didn’t want to admit how much she liked hearing me say shit like that, but she did—I could tell. It gave me hope, and I decided to capitalize on that.

“You’re right that I never accepted you like the rest of my family did,” I said. “I never wanted to hurt you, Juniper. It’s just that this…this was the only kind of Briggs I wanted you to be.”

“And what kind is that?”

I swept my gaze up and down her body one last time, memorizing how she looked in my jersey.

“The kind that’s mine.”

Taking Juniper’s feedback, I spent the next week and a half giving her as much genuine attention as I could. I didn’t pile on the sweets or the sweet-talking, even though I would have been more than happy to do it, and instead focused on proving to her that we could more than just exist in our office together.

I worked on proving it to myself, too. I could do this; I could be an excellent employee while also giving my all to the pretty associate attorney sitting next to me. This would work. If growing up with so many sisters had taught me anything, it was how to efficiently divide my energy so everyone got the most out of me and I could be there for them all. This was basically the same, wasn’t it? I could do it.

Part of the problem, of course, was that I didn’t want to divide any of my time with Juniper. I’d much rather talk to her than discuss cases with my colleagues. I’d much rather talk to her than do just about anything. But actually working at work was somewhat unavoidable. Unfortunately.

I smiled, watching as Juniper chatted on the phone in Spanish with a client. Her voice was warm, and I just knew whoever she was talking to had to feel like they were in trustworthy, caring hands. Juniper wasn’t just good at her job because she was smart and tactical about law; she was also incredibly good at building personal relationships. She was a whole goddamn treasure.

As soon as she hung up the phone, I seized the opportunity.

“Juni baby.”

She froze. Her eyes flicked over her shoulder, flying to the door, which was open. And then a surprising scowl appeared as she turned to face me.

“Someone’s going to hear you call me that,” she hissed.

I took a sip of my coffee before grunting, “Good.”

Everyone in this office loved Juniper. No surprise, honestly. But some people loved Juniper a little too much. And the faster they got the picture of what was going on, the better.

“Good?” Juniper repeated. “You haven’t sent that HR email yet, Mr. Briggs.”

“Just waiting for your approval, Ms. St. James.”

“Well, it’s not like we’re dating,” she said with a little sniff as she spun back toward her desk. “I can’t help but notice that you haven’t bothered to ask me out.”

She always did know just how to test me.

“You haven’t bothered to give me any indication if that’s what you’re ready for,” I said, lowering my voice. “I figured you’d need a little time to decide if I’m even worth it after, you know, everything.”

“Oh, is that what you’re waiting for? An indication? Generally, if you want to know the answer to something, you ask.” She started typing as if we weren’t in the middle of a conversation that I considered extremely important. “It’s called communication, Julian.”

I shook my head as I tried not to glare at the back of hers. Half of Juni’s hair was pinned up with one of her bows, but it was smaller than usual. I sort of missed the big ones. “I think you just like fucking with me, Juniper.”

“No, that’s not true.”

“It’s not?”

“No.” She grinned over her shoulder, looking at me beneath sooty lashes. “I love fucking with you.”

God, she drove me wild.

“Juni,” I said, “are you ready for me to ask you out?”

Her fuck-me eyes vanished, and she lifted one shoulder with a shy expression instead. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for you to ask, would it?”

I smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“But maybe we should focus on getting through this weekend first,” she added. “Assuming you’re okay with me coming.”

My thoughts momentarily raced as I reentered reality and remembered I had more obligations in life than Juni and work.

Christmas. Our annual family Christmas party was this weekend, and wait, what did she just—

“Okay with you coming?” I frowned. “Juni, please don’t say things like that. I want you there.” When all she did was blink at me with those big, brown eyes, I sighed. “My sisters would kill me if you weren’t there, but even more than that, I would miss you. A lot.”

She nodded, but the hesitation couldn’t have been clearer. “I’m sorry. It’s just still a little hard for me to wrap my head around, I guess.”

I should have known that no matter how many ways I showed her that I wanted to be around her, going back home would still cause feelings like this to pop up. I could prove to her that I wanted to share an office because we’d only existed in this space for a few months. But proving to her I wanted to share my childhood home after years of making her believe otherwise?

“Fuck.” I started to push out of my chair and then stopped, remembering our office door was open. So I tried to touch her with my eyes instead. “Juni, I’m sorry I couldn’t handle being around you and I made you think that was your fault. It was my fault. I took out the hate I had for myself on you. But you should know that you belong at my house on Christmas.”

“Okay,” she whispered. “Have you said anything to Gemma about…all of this?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t want to bring anything up without your permission, but just say the word, and I’ll tell her everything.”

I wasn’t looking forward to that conversation, but I knew it would have to happen at some point if I wanted to keep both of them—something I was determined to do, even though I was worried as all hell about it.

“Okay, Julian.” She seemed more sure of herself, but not by much. “Maybe we should focus on getting through this weekend first,” she repeated. “Before talking to Gemma.”

“Sure.”

I didn’t mind that Juniper wanted to wait to say anything to Gemma. But this woman had slept in my bed more than once in the last couple of weeks. My bed smelled like flowers. Flowers. And I shamefully loved it. She walked around my apartment wearing nothing but my jersey to tease the hell out of me. She ate dinner on my couch before cuddling up next to me and asking to watch my old college football games.

And now I was supposed to spend Christmas pretending I didn’t desperately want her.

How the fuck was I supposed to do that?