Aliens Moved My Cheese

I have already speculated on the possibility that we might be the only sentient life in the galaxy maybe even the universe. Now for an even more disturbing supposition. What if our planet is the home of the only life in the universe? I really hope that’s not the case but it is not out of the realm of possibility. We are for all intensive purposes a magnificent accident, a luck of the draw if you will. What if lightening only struck once? We have not encountered any other life or found evidence of life beyond our own planet. We’ve been to the Moon and found it barren and bleak. We sent a rover to test samples and take photos on Mars and no sign of life to be found (so far). That isn’t a whole lot of research with which to base a lifeless universe theory on granted but it’s a start. I was kind of bummed because I was hoping Marvin the Martian would make an appearance and show us his Martian vacation home on “Cribs.” The verdict is still in question. We simply don’t have enough evidence to prove conclusively there is life out there. That’s not to say we won’t find life on other planets if we ever get there. It just means we don’t have enough information currently to say yea or nay. I think automatically assuming that there is life out there however primitive it might be is illogical. Mr. Spock would be so proud. I don’t have a problem with Ufologists speculating about the existence of life. That’s just an interesting intellectual exercise in my opinion. It’s ok to have an unsubstantiated theory. However, at some point you need to test that theory and we haven’t reached that point yet. I resist the urge to consider this question in absolutes. I can’t say with certainty life exists beyond our own planet and anybody who does is being disingenuous.

What does it mean to our species if we are the only planet with life in the universe? In my opinion it means we have a responsibility to preserve that life in all its forms. We are the highest and only sentient form of life on this planet (as far as we know) so we should act as caretakers for all existing life. If we are unique, then conservation of life should be foremost in our thoughts. I’ve seen many science fiction movies that suggest our planet was seeded with life by aliens. What if we end up being those aliens spreading terrestrial life through ought the universe? Wouldn’t that be a kick in the pucker? We also should consider spreading life across the galaxy and the universe. Why? If we earth creatures are alone and we all die out, the universe will be devoid of life. What good is a universe if there is nobody there to enjoy it? I’m sorry but I just that boring. Earth has a shelf life. Barring some apocalyptic catastrophe, we have 5 billion more years to sit around and chill waiting for the end. I don’t know about you my five readers but I’d like to leave my lasting legacy out there in space. If we populate many other worlds with life in a universe hypothetically devoid of life, then we are for all intensive purposes becoming God’s or at least the perception of what God is to those who follow us in the future. Carl then did give Alpha Centari to his chosen people and they bowed down and worshipped him saying, “who is like unto Carl?” The Book of Carl 6:8. Now that being said I’m torn between the really cool concept of being worshipped as a God and the hypocrisy of being an atheist who is being worshipped as a God. That just leaves me feeling dirty.

Worst case scenario the revelation of earth being the only source of life in the universe could result in continuing and accelerating self-destructive behaviors by humans. If we have even a potential alien menace to fight against, that undoubtedly be a unifying factor for our species. It could very well be the very thing which keeps us from going after each other with overtly hostile intent. The lack of life could mean we remain our own worst enemy and continue to blow each other up until we are all dead. Life might catch a break and a lower form could step up to be the new sentient species on earth but humans were a long shot at best and there would be no guarantee that this would happen again. Without a sentient race to act as planetary shepherd and wanna to be interstellar ark builder, lower forms would die out when the earth died. Besides, I don’t want to contemplate bipedal sentient dolphins doing the nasty, unless I’m invited to the orgy. It’s just a pet peeve of mine, so fucking sue me. Psychologically we humans have an inherent need or at the very least a desire for there to be life beyond our planet. We are very social creatures. There are very few people who like to be alone. Sure you have the occasional hermit that bails from human contact but there is a very valid reason for that, hermits are out of their fucking minds. Once in a while a Buddhist monk wanders off in search of enlightenment (emulating the life of Siddhartha Buddha no doubt) but even in that case they are isolating themselves with a succinct goal in mind. You can bet the second they actually achieve that goal of transcendent thought, their first move will be to march down the mountain and tell people about it. Most normal humans hate to be completely alone for extended periods. We crave and live for attention. We are the biggest attention whores on earth to perfectly honest. That goes a long way towards explaining why we would be upset if we found out we were alone in the universe. Don’t believe me? Go to a supermax prison and watch the behavior of inmates who are on permanent isolation and 23 hour cell lockdown for years. These guys have been known to throw their own feces at correctional officers like an imprisoned monkey at the zoo. Isolation can and often does lead to madness. That is why getting sent to the hole is considered such a horrible punishment in prison.

Now think about the possible negative effects of humans discovering conclusively that life exists only on the planet earth and that we are for all intensive purposes alone. Right now we don’t know that is the case, so we aren’t getting that isolated feeling. Maybe we are so optimistic about the existence of alien life and sentient aliens because that thought is comforting to us either consciously or subconsciously? We went so far as to come up with a formula (Drake’s Equation) to reassure ourselves that there is alien life out there without a shred of supporting evidence to substantiate it. Who the fuck does that unless they are very wishful thinkers who want there to be aliens and alien life? Now I am by no means suggesting that aliens and alien life are merely the non-edible equivalent of Ufologist comfort food. There very well may be aliens out there and statistically there is an excellent chance they do exist. I just think we need to prepare ourselves for the possibility that we are alone and very special in universal terms and act accordingly. If we are the only planet with life then we are very precious and we need to start acting like all life on this planet is precious. “We swears this on the, the….. the precious!”