A VERY UN-SHAKESPEARE ROMANCE: ‘A Fake Dad Grumpy Sunshine Romantic Comedy’

O’Connor’s Pub had seemed like the perfect place for Lily to meet his full family for the first time.

She’d already made the rounds—first meeting his unusually emotional father, fresh back from Ireland along with the rest of the Irish contingent, and then the rest of his brothers. She’d been lifted off the ground and kissed on the cheek more times than he could count, making her soon-to-be ex-partner chortle as she was given the same treatment.

He’d told Lily he’d wanted to invite Sheila to give her another friendly face when she met his family. Of course, everyone had already wanted to meet the famous Sheila, the woman who’d duped Billie.

The moment Lily’s partner had walked in, every O’Connor male had shouted out a welcome. Except for Billie. Even now, no one knew how Billie truly felt about her. Sure, he’d been jealous of Tyler, but after leaving the Outer Banks, he’d remained mostly mute on the Sheila subject. Robbie didn’t plan on asking, but he knew Tara had a strategy working in that ingenious brain of hers to get to the bottom of things.

Their cousin felt she owed all of them a debt, and matchmaking Billie and Sheila might just be on her radar from the way she’d been circling those two and whispering with his brothers. Robbie only hoped no blood would be spilled. Because Billie loved to pick a fight when he was feeling cornered and emotional.

And brotherly roughhousing wasn’t happening at this party if he had anything to say about it.

Although Lily had already jokingly offered to arrest them all with him if it were needed. He turned to his fiancée, relieved she was still sporting a delighted grin. From the moment they’d arrived at the pub, her happiness had been obvious. She’d told him she’d never had a family and she planned to enjoy this new part of her life. “You still good?” he asked. “Do I need to dig out one of my stupid criminal videos to keep you laughing?”

“They do make my day.” She chucked him under the chin. “I’m so good that I’m ready for a dart game with one of your brothers. The new ones I’ve met today.”

Her clarification was important because Tim and Billie were hovering around Lily, trying to ease her into the rest of their crew. There was no way they would have suggested darts, knowing the kind of mayhem that would ensue.

“Lily, since I’m kinda like your O’Connor docent, let me steer you away from accepting a dart challenge.” Tim raised his pint. “Let’s have a toast instead. It’s safer. Watch this. Sláinte!”

His brother’s shout was heard throughout the bar, and suddenly the whole group was raising their pints and shouting it back.

“Sláinte,” she added, a little late, inciting another chorus of other toasts around the bar.

“Cool.” She tapped her pint to Robbie’s. “They’re a friendly lot, the O’Connors.”

He hoped it would stay that way, because if someone started a dart game, the O’Connor competitiveness would kick in, and things would get ugly.

“What does that word mean?” Reagan asked after running over from where she’d been standing with her mother.

Robbie ruffled her soft brown hair, avoiding the thick pink glitter headband she was wearing. Tara had tricked the two girls out in mega-bling for this party. Earlier, Tim had joked that a unicorn had barfed glitter all over them, making Cassidy peal into laughter and point to the dancing unicorns on her dress. Reagan sported a cotton dress covered in glittery butterflies decorated in a kaleidoscope of colors.

He couldn’t help but smile as she looked up at him with those big baby blue O’Connor eyes. Maybe he wasn’t a fan of glitter. He was still picking it off his backside after he and Lily had used Sheila’s special cuffs last night. But he loved these little girls something fierce and was glad to be back in Boston where he could see them anytime he wanted. Which lately was a lot since he missed being around them.

Even Miss Purrfect seemed to look forward to seeing him, which was weird. The last time he and Lily had gone over to watch the girls with Tim and Billie, the cat had brought him a dead bird. Tim had told him it was like a feline love letter, something he hoped wouldn’t become a habit. Because he really loved seeing Tara’s girls in their spare time, and that was really gross.

He hoisted Reagan up because it always made her smile. “It means good health, I think, but if you want an expert opinion, go ask Kathleen and Ellie’s husbands. They know the Irish language.” He spied his sister sipping a ginger ale in the corner, and he savored the knowledge he was going to be an uncle. She’d even invited him to pat her belly earlier, which had made him start thinking about him and Lily having kids at some point when they were both ready.

“They talk funny,” Reagan whispered as she leaned in. “I can’t always understand what they’re saying.”

Billie threw back his head and laughed. “Neither can we, sweetheart, and I’m thinking it’s for the best. One less person to listen to in this insanity.”

Tim elbowed him. “Hey! You’re talking about family.”

“By the way, Tim,” Robbie said, catching Billie’s eye. “Where’s your girlfriend?”

He jerked on the collar of his shirt as if someone were pulling it. “Do I look like I’m ready for you guys to make my life hell? No way I’m messing up what we’ve got going on with a family meet-up.”

Robbie wondered how serious things were between this nurse and his brother. He shot Billie another look. His brother nodded. Yeah, they were going to find out. Even if they had to drop by Tim’s retirement home on some pretext and meet this mysterious woman themselves.

“So, Lily,” Billie said, putting his arm around her shoulders, “I hear you got your promotion. Way to go.”

She turned absolutely radiant, making his brain short-circuit for a moment. “I hope to be starting in a few weeks now that we’ve arrested Branigan Kelly and a number of his associates.”

“Congrats!” Tim held up his hand for a high five.

Reagan raised hers immediately after he and Lily connected. “Me too! Congrats, Lily!”

“Thanks!” Her smile lit up his heart. “I can’t wait to get started.”

“Mom says you rock at catching bad guys and people who make mistakes.” Reagan slid out of his arms and turned to her. “Like our dad.”

Robbie’s throat caught. Tara had asked him and Lily what their professional opinion was about telling the girls that their father had been arrested and was likely going to jail. Sure, Scotty Flanagan had confessed, but he hadn’t known enough about the Kellys’ operation to receive immunity. Lily had suggested she tell them their father had made a mistake involving the law, and unfortunately, he was going to be facing the consequences.

Cassidy hadn’t really understood, but Reagan had nodded slowly and said she knew he’d made her mom really mad, so mad she’d told him he couldn’t live with them anymore or work at the nail salon, so it had to be bad. For the moment, the reasoning seemed to be working, but Robbie knew she’d have more questions as she got older. Whatever came, he’d promised Tara they would be there to help her answer them. Lily’s background with children was going to be a big help, thank God.

Lily leaned down until she was at Reagan’s eye level. “So does Robbie here, and that’s a good thing, isn’t it? Sometimes people who make mistakes cause a lot of trouble.”

Reagan looked down at her shoes. “That’s why I’m glad you and Robbie do what you do. Mom said you guys are heroes, but until I met you and Miss Morales, I didn’t know girls could be that kind of hero.”

Lily glanced up at Robbie and winked. “Well, there are only a few of us in the big picture, but we give it everything we’ve got.”

“That’s what Miss Morales told me,” Reagan said, swinging in place. “I’m glad you guys invited her to the party. She’s so funny. Did you know she arrested a man who was riding a green sheep on St. Patrick’s Day? She even showed us a photo. Mom said I should do a report on you guys for school. I’m totally telling that story about the sheep.”

“That would be great!” Lily straightened Reagan’s headband when it slipped in her excitement. “You should talk to my mentor too when she comes to Boston next week! She’s a total rock star when it comes to catching bad guys. She’s got some great stories too.”

Then Lily plunged into singing the praises of women in law enforcement. Robbie caught Billie looking over with his brow furrowed as he watched Sheila talking with Danny while he manned the bar. God knew what those two were cooking up. But from the tension in Billie’s face, did he think Danny was hitting on Sheila? If he did, he was an idiot, but jealousy did that to a man. He hoped his brother would wise up and ask her out.

Robbie flinched as a woman’s nail poked into his side. He grabbed his cousin’s hand as she laughed. “Come on, Tara! You know I hate that.”

She bumped him playfully, holding a grinning Cassidy on her hip, whose drool quotient for the day had been met and then some. “It’s all in good fun. Reagan, remember that question you were going to ask Billie?”

Robbie sensed danger in the air immediately. He shot Tara a warning glance.

Reagan nodded and gave a hesitant smile. “Do you miss Miss Morales being your girlfriend?”

Tim coughed loudly into his mouth.

“Blesh you,” Cassidy called.

Lily bit her lip and nudged Robbie. Like he didn’t know what was going on. He found he didn’t mind much—nudging him in moments like this was what a good partner did. In case he was comatose or something. He cleared his throat when Billie remained silent.

A reproachful eye roll was their answer before Billie bent down to Reagan’s level. “Didn’t your mom tell you that Lily and Miss Morales were working for their job? You know what it means to pretend, right?”

She glanced at her mother before nodding slowly. “But Lily wasn’t pretending.”

The veins on the top of Billie’s head were suddenly visible, and Robbie winced. This was so not good.

“Lily and Robbie had that soul thing going.” He snapped his fingers. “Come on, Shakespeare. This is your area. Love and romance.”

“Actually,” Tim said. “Since Lily and Robbie are going to have their happily ever after, we’ve agreed that the standard Shakespearean tragedy doesn’t really apply to them. We might even say they have a very un-Shakespeare romance. Right, Robbie?”

He thought about all the tragedy that could have happened if things hadn’t gone their way. Sometimes he still had bad dreams about it, including that one with Shakespeare’s head rolling around on the ground. He shuddered. “That’s right. Lily and I have officially laid the whole Shakespeare thing to rest. Haven’t we, babe?”

Her mouth worked before she lifted her shoulder reluctantly. “Maybe for us, but I still would miss Tim’s impressions. What about you, Reagan?”

“Me too!” the little girl called.

“Me too!” Cassidy echoed, flailing her hands in the air.

Robbie leaned in to Lily. “You traitor.”

She started chuckling softly, her fingers tickling the muscles of his upper thigh.

“You are so going to pay for this later,” he continued in a whisper-soft voice.

She only laughed harder.

“Well, it seems we have a quorum,” Tim announced, holding out his arms. “Hear ye, hear ye! The bard wishes to speak on this august occasion. Lily and Robbie, I have memorized a special verse for thee.”

Reagan and Cassidy cheered and clapped as the rest of the bar grew quiet. Robbie was already grimacing.

“Speak, bard!” Lily answered in that same crazy theater accent. “We have wish to hear thy words.”

“I cannot believe your girl is egging our brother on,” Billie hissed.

Robbie raised a warning hand and locked his jaw.

Tim eyed the room, his Adam’s apple twitching in his throat the only sign he knew the potential peril he was facing.

“Go on, Tim!” Kathleen called out with a shrill whistle.

“Yeah!” Ellie followed up with a fist in the air. “We want to hear it.”

Robbie caught the gratitude in his brother’s eyes before he bowed, and it hit him that it had taken courage for his little brother to take the stage, so to speak, in front of every one of his older brothers. “Go on, Tim,” he finally said. “You know you can’t stop yourself.”

They shared a long look before his brother cleared his throat, shaking off that flash of vulnerability in his eyes.

“This verse is for my brother, who inspires great brotherly admiration, but I imagine it will also pierce the breast of both of these crime-fighting partners.” He drew himself up, his stature rising. “When the suspicious head of theft is stopped. Love’s feeling is more soft and sensible than are the tender horns of cockled snails.”

Lily put her hand over her mouth, chuckling softly. “I love the theft part, Tim,” she called.

“Cockled snails?” Robbie slapped a hand to his forehead. “How does that even make sense?”

“The words of Shakespeare are sometimes difficult for the layman to understand,” Tim responded cheekily. “But wait, there is more.”

Groans rained out across the pub amidst spurts of laughter.

“This one is for the fair and sweet Princess Lily,” he said, bowing with his hand pressed to his heart.

Robbie’s fiancée touched her hand to her own heart, a sheen of warmth coming into her green eyes.

“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.”

Robbie felt something claw at his throat. God, his brother… He’d nailed Lily perfectly.

“That’s beautiful,” Ellie’s husband shouted. “We Irish understand that one, given how much rain we have. When the sunshine appears, it’s like heaven’s opened its own door.”

Brady McGrath’s comments only inspired more groans and chuckles.

“Thank you, Brady.” Tim shrugged his shoulders back. “I will be silent after this, I do swear.”

“You’d better,” Danny called from the bar, “or we’ll be using you as our dartboard later.”

Robbie swung his head around to face Danny and made a slicing motion in the air. His brother lifted his hands in peace, and Robbie nodded, turning back around. Somehow, he’d become his baby brother’s champion, and if he were honest, he didn’t mind one bit.

Tim smiled as his eyes closed. “The final verse is this, and I hope all who hear it find it as fitting as I do. I do love nothing in the world so well as you—is not that strange?”

Robbie shifted until he was looking directly at Lily, whose heart was in her eyes. “Yes, I do find that strange,” he said in a low voice. “What about you?”

“The strangest,” she whispered, touching his arm in that connected way she had, which always wound its way around his heart.

“Well, kids,” Sheila said, suddenly wrapping her arms around them, “how does it feel to be so perfect for each other and to catch the bad guys together?”

He inclined his chin to Lily. “Pretty freaking spectacular. What about you, Lily?”

Her green eyes danced. “I couldn’t be happier.”

“I thought so,” she said, bumping them both with her hips. “Tim, your next drink is on me for making the happy couple turn all sweet and gooey like whoopie pies before our eyes.”

“Thanks, Sheila.” Tim crossed until he was standing in front of them. “Robbie. Lily. I wish you every happiness.”

Robbie felt that strange knot in his throat again. “Oh, go off to the bar with you. You’ll be lucky if Danny doesn’t put something in your beer after your theatrics.”

Tim’s smile lit up his whole face. “It was worth it. Besides, if he does, you can bust him, right, Sheila?”

She gave a snarky laugh, taking his arm. “Poisoning is listed in section twenty-eight in the Massachusetts law—”

“Now who’s showing off.” Billie jerked a shoulder, clearly filled with the green-eyed monster.

There was a standoff. Sheila lifted a brow in his direction. “Is someone having a bad time at the party?”

Tara gave Billie a playful swat before he could open his mouth. “Yes, someone is. Obviously. Billie, didn’t you have something you want to ask Sheila here?”

Robbie started shaking his head. Tara was so asking for a showdown, demanding a reaction like that.

Billie punched up a shit-eating grin. “Yeah, who’s your mechanic?”

Robbie thought about knocking his brother out to save him from the fallout he was inviting. “Billie.”

“It’s a serious question.” He stared Sheila down.

“I haven’t had any car trouble so far.” Sheila made a show of raising her hand and tapping something. “Knock on wood.”

Billie took a step toward Sheila. “Well…if you do, Agent Morales, you bring it by to me. It will be on the house.”

His very stupid brother, who had a death wish, it seemed, caressed Sheila’s arm before walking past her on the way to the bar.

“Fix her car?” Lily fumed, clearly pissed since she and Sheila had been hoping for a more traditional dating request from Billie. “Robbie, I don’t care if it was on the house. That’s my partner he was talking to.”

Sheila fisted her hands at her sides. “Like I need or want him to fix my car.”

Tim touched Sheila’s arm. “Let me decode that conversation for you, starting with myself. When I wanted to see if my girlfriend liked me, do you know what I did? I told her I’d come over and mow her lawn. Robbie, do you want to tell them why that’s so significant?”

Robbie tucked his tongue in his cheek before saying, “Tim doesn’t have a yard.”

Lily and Sheila exchanged puzzled expressions.

“I had to borrow a lawnmower as well as Billie’s SUV to haul it over to her house.” Tim extended his hands. “Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you? Billie likes you, Sheila. Otherwise, he’d never offer to fix your car.”

Tara laughed. “I have to agree. They’d rather slice off a finger than admit they have real feelings in the beginning. The first boy who liked me at school threw rocks at me to get my attention. God, I loved that kid. How’s Tyler, by the way? Robbie, you should have invited him tonight.”

He took Cassidy into his arms and steered Tara toward the bar. “You need another drink.”

She blew him a kiss. “Just saying. I wouldn’t mind seeing that fine man again even though we have never been so busy at the salons. The press after the fire was like some insane advertisement for us. Lily. Sheila. Nails on the house anytime too, but I don’t like you like that.”

Sheila hooted. “Too bad. You’re a catch.”

Tara buffed her nails on her shoulder. “I know, and I’m just starting to remember how much. Reagan, honey, you want to come with Mommy?”

“No, I’ll stay with Cassidy,” the little girl said, smiling up at Robbie.

There was admiration in her eyes, and he had to admit, he liked it. “You’re a good big sister. Now, is everyone okay here?”

Lily glanced at Sheila, who nodded slowly. “Tim, I’m going to need CliffsNotes.”

“Add me to your speed dial,” his brother said, kissing her cheek, “but I think your understanding is in the top percentile already.”

“Meaning I’m an idiot?” Sheila said, cocking her hip.

“Billie Speak is tough even for his brothers,” Robbie said diplomatically. “Sheila, weren’t you going to buy Tim a drink?”

“It’s a free bar.” She tagged Tim’s arm. “But I’ll get you a symbolic drink. Come on, Shakespeare. Maybe we can poke at your other brothers more. This girl needs some entertainment.”

Tim cast her a conspiratorial glance. “It would be my pleasure.”

Great. Robbie could see the blowup coming already. “Tim.”

His brother looked over, a smile dancing over his lips.

“Thanks.”

Inclining his chin, as if he were one of the tough O’Connor boys, Tim lifted his shoulder. “You got it.”

As they left, Robbie turned to Lily, Cassidy babbling in his arms. “Well, a fight might ensue. Are you still willing to help me make some arrests if Shakespeare over there ends up causing trouble?”

She laid her hand on his back, surveying the happy crowd as Cassidy babbled to herself. “I think we can handle everyone. Besides, we have Sheila.”

He looked over his shoulder. She was laughing with Tim at the bar as he talked with his hands, likely spouting more Shakespeare, if the grimace on Danny’s face was any indication. He cut his gaze to Billie. His brother was propped up against one of the wooden posts in the bar, sipping a Guinness, his blue eyes downright frosty. Yeah, his brother liked Sheila. A lot.

“What are the odds Sheila will take her car over to Billie to get it fixed?” he asked.

“I have no idea.” She gave her partner a quick glance. “Seems like it should be pretty fast though, huh? Got any ideas?”

He did. “Reagan, put your hands over your ears for a sec.”

The little girl frowned but did as he asked.

“Are you up for a little car tampering this week? Maybe mess with the starter so she can’t drive to work.”

Her smile crested across her face, making him think of Tim’s earlier Shakespeare quote. Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. God, he was really getting sappy.

“I think I can fit you in between criminal interrogations and paperwork,” she quipped. “And I must say, Lieutenant O’Connor, I do like your creative strategy.”

He only hoped the not-so-happy couple would too.

What would a brother do for another? A whole lot, it seemed.

“Have I become a total sap?”

She eyed him, love and happiness flashing in her beautiful eyes. “Yes, but I like it.”

He did too actually. Not that he’d admit it out loud.

“How about we mingle?” He gently pulled Reagan’s hands from her ears. “Good job, kiddo. You didn’t need to hear that.”

“Mom does that all the time now,” the little girl said with a huff. “What do you think, Cassidy?”

The little girl jerked and then tensed up her face. Suddenly a burst of gunfire exploded in her diaper. Robbie grimaced and held her out midair, his nose twitching.

“Wow!” Reagan cried, laughing. “Cassidy, you had a ton of magic inside.”

“’Cane,” the little girl babbled, legs dangling.

“Talk about bad luck,” Robbie ground out. “I’m in a sea of people and she does this with me.”

Lily’s mouth was twitching as she covered her nose. “Magic is an unstoppable force.”

“Right,” he said dryly, unwilling to interrupt Tara to change it after the time she’d been having lately. “Hey! You’re my partner. How about you go with Reagan and change her diaper?”

Lily raised her brow. “You’d better not be serious.”

He gave what he hoped was a persuasive smile. “You know I love you…”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said dramatically. “Bribery will get you nowhere. I’m a federal officer.”

She was incorruptible, and the horrible smell was rising around them. “Hey! Wasn’t there something about a foul stench in Shakespeare?”

“You’re resorting to quoting Shakespeare?” Lily asked with a choked laugh. “Oh, Robbie, you must be desperate.”

“Desperate to be alone with you,” he said, giving her a quick kiss on the mouth. “I’ll be right back. I’m about to delegate.”

“This I’ve gotta see,” he heard, feeling her follow him to the bar.

Tim glanced up when they arrived beside him, pausing with his pint halfway to his mouth. Sheila’s face scrunched up immediately.

“You’re a lover of magic, right?” Robbie asked Tim before holding Cassidy out to him.

His baby brother held his gaze before putting down his beer. “Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.”

Robbie looked at Lily. “I’ve got love and greatness down. The magic is all you, Tim.”

“I’m good with that.” Tim took Cassidy and kissed her cheek. “Princess, there is still much work to do with this clan. Come, Princess Pixie, we be the keepers of magic…”

As they walked off, Reagan skipping with them, Lily slid her arm around him. “That was a good line. Hey, Danny. Can I get two beers down here?”

His brother raised a finger in response. “Coming right up, Sunshine.”

Robbie started chuckling as Lily frowned. “Your nickname is catching.”

“So is the flu.” She lifted the beer Danny set down moments later and waited until Robbie had his drink. “I have a toast. I agree that we have love and greatness down. But I’d say you and I both possess a special type of magic.”

He leaned closer, his body brushing hers.

“We catch bad guys,” she said, smiling brightly.

“To catching bad guys,” he answered, lifting his glass to touch hers.

Robbie rolled his eyes, taking Lily aside. “I have one more. To love.”

Because if a guy had to do without greatness and that magic stuff, Robbie would take love with Lily Meadows every time.