A VERY UN-SHAKESPEARE ROMANCE: ‘A Fake Dad Grumpy Sunshine Romantic Comedy’

Robbie ran his hands through his wet hair, his mouth falling open.

“That’s your plan?” He studied Lily as she sat across from him on the couch, legs crossed, while Sheila beamed with pride. Tim didn’t move a muscle on the couch next to him, but he glanced surreptitiously at his brother and watched a canny grin break out over his face. His brother was having way too much fun. He’d chuckled heartily when he and Sheila had finally returned with the key, ten minutes after Robbie and Lily had showered and found something to cover her, and learned he needed to grab his brother a new shirt.

“It’s perfect.” Tim leaned forward to fist-bump first Lily and then Sheila.

“Right?” her partner bandied back. “Buck, our boss, wanted to go by the regular playbook, like Robbie feared, but Lily was like no way. We can’t use Tara like that. No sending her undercover with a wire. No putting her in the crosshairs of the Kellys where actual harm could come to her. She has two little girls we need to protect, she said. And you know they’ll be safe with your brothers and an agent in the FBI safe house. Now, before you get your shorts in a wad, Robbie, I’m going to be playing Tara after—”

“After you release social media footage of her playing around with her new boy toy.” He coughed on the word, earning him a backslap from Tim. “Which you plan to use the real Tara for.”

“Not only macking on him, but living it up large,” Lily added, her hands clenched in her lap as though she was nervous.

He turned to look at his baby brother, trying to keep an open mind, especially as Lily was sitting still as a rail, her green eyes practically imploring him to see things her way. Upstairs, they’d been so in sync, and he missed that. Now he was struggling to understand.

“How is it you see the brilliance of this, and I don’t?” he asked his brother. “Tim, you’ve lived in Southie your whole life. Why in the world do you think the Kellys are going to send some of their guys down to the Outer Banks because they think Tara is in a hot new relationship? I don’t get the whole boy toy, living it up part.”

Lily opened her mouth, but Tim held up a hand. “Let me. We know the Kellys want her, but what Lily is suggesting is downright Shakespearean. Hamlet. MacBeth—”

“Here we go again,” he ground out, tempted to put his hands over his ears.

“They’re going to think it’s a trap if we just put Tara out as bait.” Tim tapped the side of his nose. “But this way, we’re going to make it look like you have the girls while Tara is off doing what women do best in this instance—or so it’s broadly thought.”

“Keep going,” Robbie practically pleaded, shooting Lily a tight smile.

“Tara is going to look like she’s taking her revenge—on both the Kellys and Scotty. First, she’s going to have a new plaything—total vacation rebound. Second, she’s going to look like she’s spending the Kellys’ money like there’s no tomorrow.”

“That’s what worries me,” he said, pressing a hand to his belly.

“A total fuck you to both the Kellys and her ex will drive them both nuts,” Sheila informed him with a delighted wiggle on the couch. “We’re talking serious revenge.”

“Plus, Tara is going to look like she’s gone wild,” Tim put in. “Crazy. She’ll look uncontrollable. Even by you, the serious, don’t mess with me—”

“I get the picture.” What he was getting was a migraine. “So I’m supposed to tell my boss and the officer working the nail salon arson case that I took Tara’s girls so she could get away for a while and party? Jesus, I’m going to look like an idiot.”

“Exactly!” Sheila exclaimed. “We don’t want to feed anyone’s suspicions that you’re using Tara as bait, seeing as you’re a cop. It’s better for them to think she’s being reckless. And trust me, men don’t have a hard time believing that about women.”

“You’ll tell them you told her to get out of town and lay low,” Lily broke in, smoothing her palms on her thighs, which he had to force himself not to stare at. “But she’s not thinking logically. Just like a woman. She’s angry.”

“Pissed!” Tim cheerfully added, crossing his ankles. “And you know what they say about women and revenge?”

He’d been a cop for years and heard plenty of confessions, but he looked at his brother blankly. “No, Tim, what?”

His grin was downright devilish. “Hide your credit cards. And you know what they say about men?”

“I’m a guy, Tim, so you don’t need to spell it out.”

“Oh, but it’s so much fun to dissolve into stereotypes,” Sheila bandied back. “No guys like to be a cuckold. Tim, I used that term for you.”

“You’re a lady and a scholar,” he said, blowing her a kiss, making Robbie groan.

“A woman isn’t supposed to spend a man’s money like it’s nothing,” Sheila followed up. “Especially when it’s not hers and she doesn’t have his permission.”

“I love it!”

Robbie’s head whipped toward the kitchen doorway as Tara breezed into the room, wearing jeans and a beige T-shirt she’d jauntily tied at the waist. “Where the hell did you come from?” he asked.

Tim slowly raised his hand. “I snuck her into the kitchen with Sheila’s blessing to expedite things. I figured our cousin could come to her own conclusions.”

“Tim told me your new squeeze is FBI.” Tara gave him a playful wink, her usual sass back in her smile. “And he convinced me not to look a gift horse in the mouth. We have the Feds on our side. That puts the Kellys in boiling hot water, not just warm Southie water. It also protects us from the Kelly snitches on the force.”

“Precisely!” Sheila snapped her fingers. “There’s a long list of crimes we plan to tie them to.”

Tara rubbed her hands together delightedly. “Music to my ears. I’m so ready for this to be over. Besides, all Reagan and Cassidy could talk about was their sweet friends next door, who taught them to surf and bought them princess wands. And clearly you like her, cuz. How could I not listen to her plan? Besides, I like that I’ll look like one of those idiots in your stupid criminal videos. Except the joke will be on them for believing it.”

“Stupid criminal videos?” Sheila gasped. “I love watching those. I send them to Lily all the time.”

Lily met his gaze. “Now you can send yours to me too,” she said, a soft smile taking sail across her face.

“After this nightmare is over.” He put his head in his hands after Tara cast another knowing look at him and then Lily. “So you’re totally on board with this? Tara, I was planning on taking you back to Boston and having you talk to my guys on the force informally—”

“What does that accomplish?” Tara blew a curl out of her eye. “Nothing. Just more talk-talk-talk. Plus, I believe the Kellys when they say they have a mole in your department, maybe more than one. I’m assuming you haven’t smoked them out yet.”

He breathed fire before shaking his head. “No, we haven’t.”

“I don’t know the full scope of Lily’s plan—nice to meet you with your real name, by the way—but I imagine she’s got a plan for catching the mole or moles too.”

“I do.” Lily nodded with killer confidence. “We just need you to lay a few false breadcrumbs—with Internal Affairs’ full knowledge, of course.”

He tipped his head toward the ceiling. “God, I knew this was coming. I’m going to be persona non grata.”

“No, you aren’t.” Lily leaned forward, a determined fist resting on her knee. “Robbie, you’re going to put the Kellys down so they don’t come back and hurt your family. I’m including you in our case. I told Buck I needed you to pull it off. We share the collar.”

“And that’s really big of her considering how much this case matters for the promotion she’s going after,” Sheila added, making a big boom noise afterward. “We’re talking a chance to join the Child Exploitation and Human Trafficking Task Force, in Boston, something she’s worked toward her whole life.”

He swallowed thickly, knowing the seeds of her motivation. “I’m humbled, and I’m on board. If I get a little grouchy, it’s only because I hate deceiving cops.”

“At least you aren’t a mole selling people out to the Kellys.” Tara crossed and cozied up next to him, punching his arm lightly. “Look, I want this done. I don’t care if I have to play kissy-face with the ugliest undercover FBI agent in history to accomplish that. I want to be free of this problem and back in Southie with my girls. Safe.”

There was a silent plea in her eyes, one that spoke of the fear and vulnerability she was pushing back to stay strong. “We’re going to take every precaution,” he promised her.

“Of course,” Lily said with assuring hands. “I’ll show you all the details. We’ll execute our plan flawlessly.”

“Down to me dressing up like your cousin here,” Sheila said, closing in on Tara and studying her like a hawk. “I’ll need to study your mannerisms. All the way down to how you like to do your makeup and nails. Oh, and by the way, you won’t have to suck face with an ugly FBI officer. The agent Lily has in mind has set records for blowing panties off.”

“Sheila Morales!” Lily cried out. “That is totally unprofessional.”

Robbie cleared his throat while Tim sputtered with laughter beside him.

Her partner only sashayed her hips. “Come on, Lily. You set running records at Quantico. Tyler Darren has set records for having women practically fling their panties at him. Everyone knows it. That’s why he’s the most wanted undercover agent out there. That guy has played everything from a male stripper to a pretty boy Ivy League Wall Street type.”

Tara made a girlish sound that had Robbie wanting to bash his head in. “Got a picture?” she asked in a sultry voice he was sure would scramble his brain.

“You bet.” Sheila pulled her phone out of her yoga top, making Robbie cringe, as Tara got up to take a look.

Tara whistled. “Okay, you weren’t overselling. Nothing is photoshopped?”

“No, ma’am. That’s all Tyler. Sometimes I wonder how he gets his reports in and finds the time to stay that ripped. Because there’s ripped—”

“And then there’s ripped.” Tara made another one of those sounds Robbie wished he could unhear. “Scotty is going to lose his shit when he sees me sipping a Mai Tai off this honey’s washboard abs.”

“Tara, for the love of—”

Tim elbowed him. “She’s getting into character. Let her be.”

Sheila glared at him as well. “What he said. Tara, Tyler and I have done dozens assignments together, and I can promise you…you’re about to have some serious fun, girl.”

Fun? Were they insane?

“Sheila is trying to assure Tara—”

“I know,” he told Lily, holding up his hand. “It’s just a little jarring.”

She crossed and sat down next to him on the couch, more serious than he’d ever seen her. “I say this with the greatest care and respect for you. You’re going to have to forget you’re related to Tara and just be a cop right now. I need Lieutenant Robbie O’Connor by my side, not Robbie, the concerned cousin.”

He bit the inside of his jaw, glad for the reminder. “You have him. Once I get rid of Billie and Shakespeare here. Ah…by the way, Tim. What exactly did you tell Billie about why you’ve been over here? I can’t imagine he was thrilled to be babysitting the girls alone.”

Tim turned sheepish. “About that…I kinda told him Sheila was preparing a big surprise for him with our help, so he needed to stay out of the way.”

“Well, it’s kinda true,” Sheila said with a wince.

“And he bought that?”

“Dude likes Clarice.” Tim lifted a shoulder. “He bought it hook, line, and sinker.”

Robbie pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering how Billie was going to take the news. He hoped he’d simply laugh it off with his easy come, easy go grin. Because they had enough balls in the air. “Your lying is starting to worry me, Tim.”

“Except the story is true,” Tim followed up with glee dancing in his eyes. “And handcuffing you and Lily together so you’d listen to her wasn’t lying exactly—”

“What?” Tara interrupted. “You two were handcuffed?”

Robbie squirmed, and Lily gave a humorless laugh. “Tim has become very theatrical all of a sudden.”

“Tim’s plan helped these two lovebirds come together for real,” Sheila said, making loud kissing noises.

“Tim came up with the idea?” Tara lifted a hand for Tim to high-five, which he did, rising and putting his arm around their cousin. “Way to go. Respect, man.”

He broke free to give one of his new regal bows, to which she responded with a curtsy. They’d created a monster.

“Tim has grown quite a bit on this trip,” Robbie said diplomatically. “We might keep the handcuff thing in this room.”

“No way, cousin!” Tara gave a bawdy laugh. “This story is going to be told again and again at O’Connor’s Pub.”

“Don’t forget about BBQs and family reunions,” Tim said, giving Tara another high five.

Lily was looking down in her lap, a slight flush on her cheeks. “Do you see what you’ve gotten yourself into?” he asked. “Think you can take it?”

She lifted her head, her green eyes filled with that all too sexy challenge he loved. “You bet I can, Grandpa. Can you take this plan I’ve cooked up?”

He laid his hand close to her leg. “You’re right. It’s brilliant. But I’ll need you to add something to your equipment list.”

She gave a beaming smile, looking very much like the girl next door. “Anything.”

“Antacids.”

They shared a smile. “And here I thought you wanted a Benelli M3.”

“That too.”

Sheila gave a pretend swoon. “Oh, gun talk. That’s so sexy.”

It really was, he thought, as he stared at Lily and realized this could be the rest of his life if he wanted it. And he did. God help him, he really did. “Glad that’s settled.”

“I have a request for that equipment list too,” Tara said, garnering their attention. “I need a new wardrobe and a shirt that says Running Wild in rhinestones.”

Lily’s mouth twitched. “I’ll see what we can do, but I don’t think you’re going to complain about the wardrobe I have in mind. Or the accessories. We’re talking luxury brands with loud screaming labels. And wait until you see the car I have in mind that we confiscated from a drug dealer. Tara, you’re going to look like you’ve spent at least three hundred thousand dollars with your new boy toy on vacation.”

“Wow, you guys really mean living large.” She fluffed her unusually flat hair. “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

Lily rested back against the couch next to him, which felt not only right, but perfect. This wasn’t a woman who’d want him to have a different job. This was a woman he could talk cases over with—and she, in turn, could talk her cases through with him. Their passion for each other was as great as their passion for justice. God, he was getting cheesy. He put his arm casually over the back of the sofa, toying with the ends of her hair where no one could see. But deep down it all came down to one truth: she was his perfect partner.

“I think we’ve laid out the initial steps for everyone,” Lily said, very much in charge, a position that looked good on her. “Now, let’s go and catch some bad guys.”