A Soul of Ash and Blood (Blood And Ash Series Book 5)

The Maiden was here, in the godsdamn Red Pearl, in a room with me—under me—someone she had to fear more than the gods themselves. Because there was no doubt in my mind that she’d heard the whispers about me. The name the Blood Crown had given me.

The name I’d become.

I’d spent years planning to take her, had orchestrated many deaths and just sealed the fate of another, all so I could get close enough to take her. And she’d practically fallen into my lap.

Or I’d fallen into hers.

Whatever.

Another disbelieving laugh built in my throat because what in the wide kingdom of fucks was the unreachable, unseen, and untouched Maiden doing in the Red Pearl? In a private room. Kissing a man.

The laugh was never given life because something else snagged my attention. Her hair. It had always been hidden beneath the veil, but in the candlelight, I could tell that it was the color of the richest red wine.

I drew my hand out from behind her head, noting how she tensed as I picked up a strand, drawing it out. The tendril was soft as it slipped through my fingers.

The Maiden was a redhead.

I had no idea why that surprised me, but it felt like a discovery just as startling as finding her here.

“You are most definitely not who I thought you were,” I murmured.

“How did you know?” she demanded.

So, she does speak. Her voice was stronger and earthier than I’d expected.

The shock of the situation forced an honest answer out of me. “Because the last time I kissed the owner of this cloak, she damn near sucked my tongue down her throat.”

“Oh,” she whispered, and what I could see of her nose wrinkled.

My gaze flicked to hers, and I made another discovery. Her eyes, which were always hidden by the veil, were a stunning shade of green, as bright as spring grass.

I stared down at her, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this was the Maiden, and that the Maiden was a green-eyed redhead, when something occurred to me. “Have you been kissed before?”

“I have!”

One side of my lips kicked up. “Do you always lie?”

“No!” she exclaimed.

“Liar,” I teased, unable to help myself.

The skin below the mask deepened to a rosy color as she pushed against my chest. “You should get off.”

“I was planning to,” I muttered, thinking she probably had no idea what that meant.

But then her eyes narrowed behind the mask in a way that told me she knew exactly what I meant, and that was another shock.

She had…the Maiden had a dirty mind.

The laugh that had been building broke free, and it was a real one that came from a warm place that hadn’t existed since I made the foolish decision to go after the Blood Crown myself. The laugh shocked the hell out of me, filling me with emotions I’d long believed dead.

Interest.

Awe.

Genuine curiosity.

A feeling of…contentment.

Contentment? Where in the fuck did that even come from? I had no idea, but at the moment, I didn’t care. I was interested. And, gods, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d been focused on anything but my brother. The warmth in my chest iced over.

“You really should move,” she said.

Her demand pulled me from the disaster my thoughts were veering toward. “I’m quite comfortable where I am.”

“Well, I’m not.”

I could feel my lips twitch, and I didn’t know if it was the desperation to reclaim those fleeting emotions or something else that propelled me to behave as if I had no idea who she was. “Will you tell me who you are, Princess?”

“Princess?” She blinked.

“You are quite demanding.” I shrugged, thinking it was a far more fitting name than Maiden or Chosen. “I imagine a Princess to be demanding.”

“I am not demanding,” she argued. “Get off me.”

I arched a brow, feeling that warmth again—that…enjoyment. “Really?”

“Telling you to move is not being demanding.”

“We’ll have to disagree on that.” I paused. “Princess.”

Her lips curved and then flattened. “You shouldn’t call me that.”

“Then what should I call you? A name, perhaps?”

“I’m…I’m no one,” she replied.

“No One? What a strange name. Do girls with a name like that often make a habit of wearing other people’s clothing?”

“I’m not a girl,” she snapped.

“I would sure hope not.” Wait. I had no idea what the Maiden’s age was. I’d been teasing when I called her a girl, but… “How old are you?”

“Old enough to be in here, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

The amount of relief I felt was a warning. “In other words, old enough to be masquerading as someone else, allowing others to believe you’re another person and then allowing them to kiss—”

“I get what you’re saying,” she interrupted, surprising me yet again. “Yes, I’m old enough for all those things.”

Did she know what all those things were? Truly? If so, there was a whole hell of a lot I did not know about the Maiden. But I didn’t think that was the case. She didn’t kiss like someone who knew from personal experience what all those things were. “I’ll tell you who I am, although I have a feeling you already know. I’m Hawke Flynn.”

She was quiet for a moment and then squeaked out, “Hi.”

That… That was cute.

I grinned. “This is the part where you tell me your name.” When she said nothing, my interest only grew. It wasn’t like I expected her to admit who she was, but I was dying to discover what she would share. “Then I’ll have to keep calling you Princess. The least you can do is tell me why you didn’t stop me.”

Remaining stubbornly quiet, she drew her plump lower lip between her teeth.

Every part of me focused on that—on her mouth. And hell, that filled my head with all kinds of things my body was shamefully on board with. I shifted slightly, hiding my reaction. “I’m sure it’s more than my disarming good looks.”

Her nose wrinkled. “Of course.”

I laughed, surprised yet again by her—by myself. “I think you just insulted me.”

She winced. “That’s not what I meant—”

“You’ve wounded me, Princess.”

“I highly doubt that. You have to be more than well aware of your appearance.”

“I am.” I grinned at her. “It has led to quite a few people making questionable life choices.”

I hoped it would lead her to make some questionable life choices, which, considering where she was, she wasn’t unfamiliar with.

“Then why did you say you were insulted—?” Her mouth snapped shut, and she pushed against my chest again. “You’re still lying on me.”

“I know.”

“It’s quite rude of you to continue doing so when I’ve made it clear that I would like for you to move.”

“It’s quite rude of you to barge into my room dressed as—”

“Your lover?”

I stared at her for a moment. “I wouldn’t call her that.”

“What would you call her?”

Hell, how was I supposed to answer that? “A…good friend.”

She returned my stare. “I didn’t know friends behaved this way.”

“I’m willing to wager you don’t know much about these sorts of things.”

“And you wager all of this on just one kiss?”

“Just one kiss? Princess, you can learn a wealth of things from just one kiss.”

She quieted, and I…needed to know why she was here, at the Red Pearl, in this room, wearing a maid’s cloak. And where were her guards? I seriously doubted they’d allow her to come here. If so, I needed to know which one did so I could make sure that wasn’t the one who found themselves dead.

But I started with the most pressing question. “Why didn’t you stop me?”

As I waited for an answer, my eyes tracked over her mask and then lower, to where the cloak had parted…

It felt like a punch to the chest when I saw what she wore.

Or what she wasn’t wearing to be more exact.

The neckline was low, exposing the surprising swells of her breasts, and the gown, whatever silky material it was made of, was now my favorite. It was nearly transparent and thin enough that I thought for a moment the gods had woken from their slumber to bless me.

Or curse me.

But if this was the idea of a curse, then being damned wasn’t all that bad.

However, none of that answered why the untouched, pure Maiden would be at the Red Pearl, a notorious pleasure house in Masadonia, by herself. In a room with a man she believed thought her to be someone else, no less. Someone who had kissed her without one word of protest falling from her lips. Hell, she’d kissed me back. Started to, at least. And she was dressed…

She was dressed for utter debauchery.

It suddenly seemed hard to breathe as my gaze lifted to hers. A sense of understanding swept over me, quickly followed by disbelief. There was only one reason she would be here.

And I was more interested in all the reasons why than I had been interested in anything in…forever. I shouldn’t be. I had just been handed the golden goose. This was the perfect chance for me to take her. I could slip out of the city right now.

There’d be no need to continue the ruse of being a dutiful and loyal Rise Guard. No need to get close to her. Hell, I couldn’t get any closer than I was right now.

Well, yeah…I could.

I could get way closer.

But if I took her now, I’d never hear from her lips why she was here. And I needed to know that. If I made my move, I would lose the strange pounding in my chest. The warmth. The enjoyment. And I was a selfish son of a bitch when it came to something I wanted.

Besides, it wasn’t me who’d found her. She had found me. And in an instant, I was more than willing to let this play out for as long as possible.

Because it would all be over soon enough.

“I think I’m beginning to understand,” I told her.

“Does that mean you’re going to get up so I can move?”

I shook my head. “I have a theory.”

“I’m waiting with bated breath for this.”

The Maiden…she had a mouth on her.

I liked that.

A lot.

“I think you came to this very room with a purpose in mind,” I said. “It’s why you didn’t speak or attempt to correct my assumption of who you were. Perhaps the cloak you borrowed was also a very calculated decision. You came here because you want something from me.”

She dragged that lip between her teeth again.

I shifted once more, lifting my hand to her right cheek. The simple touch sent a shudder through her. “I’m right, aren’t I, Princess?”

“Maybe…maybe I came here for…for conversation.”

“To talk?” I almost laughed again. “About what?”

“Lots of things.”

Fighting a smile, I said, “Like?”

Her throat worked on a delicate swallow. “Why did you choose to work on the Rise?”

“You came here tonight to ask that?” I asked more dryly than anything Kieran could’ve said, but it was clear by her stare alone that she expected an answer. So, I gave her the same one I gave anyone who asked. “I joined the Rise for the same reason most do.”

“And what is that?” she asked.

The lie came all too easily. “My father was a farmer, and that was not the life for me. There aren’t many other opportunities offered than joining the Royal Army and protecting the Rise, Princess.”

“You’re right.”

Surprise flickered through me. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, there aren’t many chances for children to become something other than what their parents were.”

“You mean there aren’t many chances for children to improve their stations in life, to do better than those who came before them?”

She gave a short nod. “The…the natural order of things doesn’t exactly allow that. A farmer’s son is a farmer or they—”

The natural order of things? For Solis, perhaps. “They choose to become a guard, where they risk their lives for stable pay that they most likely won’t live long enough to enjoy. Doesn’t sound much like an option, does it?”

“No,” she said, sending yet another ripple of surprise through me. I hadn’t, even for one moment, considered that the Maiden spent a second thinking about those who guarded the city. None of those close to the Blood Crown did. “There may not be many choices, but I still think—no, I know—that joining the guard requires a certain level of innate strength and courage.”

“You think that of all the guards? That they are courageous?”

“I do.”

“Not all guards are good men, Princess,” I said, meaning the words.

Her eyes narrowed. “I know that. Bravery and strength do not equal goodness.”

“We can agree on that.” My gaze lowered to her mouth.

“You said your father was a farmer. Is he…has he gone to the gods?”

My father was a god among men to many. “No. He is alive and well. Yours?” I asked, even though I already knew.

“My father—both of my parents are gone.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said, knowing that her parents had died many years ago. “The loss of a parent or a family member lingers long after they’re gone, the pain lessening but never fading. Years later, you’ll still find yourself thinking that you’d do anything to get them back.”

Her gaze flicked over my face. “You sound like you know firsthand.”

“I do,” I said, refusing to think about any of that.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry for whoever it is that you’ve lost. Death is…”

I tilted my head. “Death is like an old friend who pays a visit, sometimes when it’s least expected and other times when you’re waiting for her. It’s neither the first nor the last time she’ll pay a visit, but that doesn’t make any death less harsh or unforgiving.”

“That it is.” Sadness colored her tone, tugging at a part of me that needed to stay deadened.

I lowered my head, noting the catch in her breath as my lips neared hers. “I doubt the need for conversation led you to this room. You didn’t come here to talk about sad things that cannot be changed, Princess.”

Her eyes widened under her mask, and I felt her stiffen under me. I didn’t need to know her thoughts to realize that she was battling what she knew she should be doing versus what she wanted.

That very same battle had briefly raged inside me, except reckless curiosity had won out—as did my selfishness. Would she be the responsible one and end this? If so, I would walk away from this room.

And I would.

I wouldn’t take her tonight, even though that made more sense than leaving this room without the one person I’d come to this kingdom for. What stopped me was some kind of twisted sense of chivalry, as ridiculous as that sounded. But I knew why she was here.

The Maiden wanted to know pleasure.

And that meant many things—things I couldn’t give any critical thought to. Things that would really make me change what I knew, or assumed, about the Maiden. All I could acknowledge was that there was something so…innocent behind her reasons for coming here. Something courageous. Unexpected. I didn’t know what had gone into her choice to come here, what she’d had to do, how she’d prepared herself, or even why. And if I revealed who I was—who she was to me—in a society like the one the Ascended had created, where women needed to hide their faces when they sought pleasure and happiness, it could be seen as a punishment. As if this were what happened when you engaged in such behaviors, and I…I didn’t want to be a part of ruining that for her.

I sensed the moment she made up her mind. Her body relaxed under mine as she drew that lower lip between her teeth once more.

And gods, I didn’t expect that. I figured she would end this. She should have. But hell, I was a bastard because I was…too captivated—too intrigued—not to follow through.

Drawing in a breath that felt strangely shallow, I drew a finger across the satin ribbon of her mask. “May I remove this?”

She shook her head.

Disappointment sparked. I wanted to see her face and the expressions she made, but that mask…it was just a silly piece of cloth. Yet sometimes, silliness fed bravery, and who was I to judge? After all, I was constantly pretending. My life in this kingdom was a façade. Everything about me was a lie. Well, mostly.

I trailed my finger along the line of her jaw and down her throat, over her wildly pounding pulse. My fingers stopped where the cloak was fastened. “How about this?”

She nodded.

I’d never removed a cloak quicker in my life.

The shiver I saw, the sudden rise of her breasts as I skimmed the tip of my finger over the wonderfully indecent neckline, sent a bolt of raw, pounding desire through me. In a flash of heat, I saw that gown of hers in shreds, and me between her thighs, first with my tongue and then with my cock. And that desire was nearly as potent as the need to remain where I was—warm and interesting and alive.

I checked myself then.

Clenching my jaw, I willed the gathering throb to cool it. I was willing to go wherever this led, but not there. That was taking too much, and it didn’t matter if it was willingly given. I was a monster, but not that kind of monster.

But there was so much we could do.

“What do you want from me?” I asked, toying with the small bow between the sweet swells on her chest. “Tell me, and I’ll make it so.”

“Why?” she asked. “Why would you…do this? You don’t know me, and you thought I was someone else.”

It wasn’t like I could answer that question honestly, and it had nothing to do with who she was. Or maybe it did. At this moment, I couldn’t be sure. “I have nowhere to be, and I’m intrigued.”

“Because you have nowhere to be at the moment?”

“Would you rather I wax poetic about how I’m charmed by your beauty, even though I can only see half your face?” I asked. “Which, by the way, from what I can see is pleasing. Would you rather I tell you I’m captivated by your eyes? They are a pretty shade of green from what I can tell.”

The corners of her lips turned down. “Well, no. I don’t want you to lie.”

“None of those things were a lie.” Tugging on the little bow, I dipped my head, brushing my lips over hers. Her fresh and sweet scent heightened. “I told you the truth, Princess. I’m intrigued by you, and it’s fairly rare anyone intrigues me.”

“So?”

“So,” I said, chuckling against the curve of her jaw, “you’ve changed my evening. I’d planned to return to my quarters. Maybe get a good—albeit boring—night of sleep, but I have a suspicion that tonight will be anything but boring if I spend it with you.”

It would be nothing short of a miracle.

“Were you…were you with someone before me?” she asked.

I lifted my head. “That’s a random question.”

“There are two glasses by the settee.”

“It’s also a random, personal question asked by someone whose name I don’t even know.”

Her cheeks warmed.

And I…I could understand her inquiry, couldn’t I? Her concern. “I was with someone,” I answered. “A friend who is not like the owner of the cloak. One I hadn’t seen in a while. We were catching up, in private,” I explained, and it shocked me. I rarely ever did such a thing.

But my response wasn’t exactly a lie. I hadn’t seen Kieran in a few days, and since we’d been together since birth, that did feel like a while. That was the longest we’d been separated since I—

I cut those thoughts off before they could take hold and become something darker, harder to cast off. “So, Princess, will you tell me what you want from me?”

Her breath caught again. “Anything?”

“Anything.” I slid my hand down, cupping the surprisingly full weight of her breast. The white robes I normally saw her in had hidden a lot.

But now, with the thin material of her gown pulled taut against her skin, I could make out the deep, rosy hue, and the oh-so-very-intriguing hardened peak. My thumb followed my gaze.

She gasped as her back arched, pressing her breast more firmly into my palm. My chest tightened with a surge of need.

“I’m waiting.” I swept my thumb once more, thoroughly enjoying the breathy sound she made and the curl of her body. “Tell me what you enjoy, so I can make you love it.”

“I…” She bit down on her lip. “I don’t know.”

My gaze flew to hers as I froze. Her words were a reminder. They were also a spark that lit a fire under the need I felt to show her exactly what she wanted.

“I’ll tell you what I want.” I moved my thumb again, slower, harder. “I want you to remove your mask.”

“I…” Her lips parted. “Why?”

“Because I want to see you.”

“You can see me now.”

“No, Princess.” I lowered my head. “I want to really see you when I do this without your gown between you and my mouth.”

Keeping my gaze on her face because I refused to miss a moment, I flicked my tongue over the tip of her breast. The silk was barely a barrier, and as I closed my mouth over the turgid peak, I could easily imagine doing something that rarely ever occurred to me when I was with a mortal.

I could see myself sinking my teeth into the plump flesh, discovering if she tasted as sweet as she smelled. I bet she did. My body answered the cry of pleasure that parted her lips, thickening and hardening.

“Remove your mask. Please.” I slid a hand over the lush curve of her hip and down her thigh to where the dress parted. Her skin felt like the silky material, smooth as I curled my fingers—around something hard. “What the…?”

My hand closed over the hilt of a dagger. What in the hell? I unsheathed the blade, rocking back as she sat up, reaching for the weapon.

The Maiden had a dagger. And not just any ordinary kind.

“Bloodstone and wolven bone.”

“Give that back,” she demanded, scrambling to her knees.

My gaze shifted from the dagger to her. “This is a unique weapon.”

“I know.” A tumble of red-wine waves and curls fell forward over her shoulders.

“The kind that’s not inexpensive.” And one that carried a particular purpose. “Why are you in possession of this, Princess?”

“It was a gift, and I’m not foolish enough to come to a place like this unarmed.”

That was a smart decision. “Carrying a weapon and having no idea how to use it doesn’t make one wise.”

Her eyes narrowed with irritation. “What makes you think I don’t know how to use it? Because I’m female?”

I stared at her. “You can’t be surprised that I would be shocked. Learning how to use a dagger isn’t exactly common for females in Solis.”

“You’re right, but I do know how to use it.”

The confidence in her words told me that she spoke no lies. So, the Maiden knew how to wield a dagger. That was wholly and gloriously unexpected. Instead of concerning me, it made me all the more interested.

The right side of my lips curved up. “Now, I’m truly intrigued.”

Her eyes widened as I thrust the dagger blade down into the mattress and then went at her. I took her down to the bed, settling between her thighs and letting her feel exactly how intrigued I was—

A fist pounded on the door. “Hawke?” Kieran’s voice rang out. “You in there?”

I halted and closed my eyes, telling myself that I did not just hear his voice.

“It’s Kieran.”

“As if I didn’t know that already,” I muttered, and a small giggle left her. The sound opened my eyes and brought a grin to my lips.

“Hawke?” Kieran pounded some more.

“I think you should answer him,” she whispered.

“Dammit.” If I didn’t, he would likely barge in out of concern. “I’m thoroughly, happily busy at the moment.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Kieran replied as I refocused on her. The wolven knocked again. “But the interruption is unavoidable.”

“The only unavoidable thing I see is your soon-to-be broken hand if you pound on that door one more time,” I warned, causing her eyes to widen. “What, Princess?” I lowered my voice. “I told you I was really intrigued.”

“Then I must risk a broken hand,” Kieran replied, and a growl of frustration rumbled from deep within me. “The…envoy has arrived.”

Gods.

I cursed again, under my breath this time. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time.

“An…envoy?” she asked.

“The supplies we’ve been waiting for,” I explained, which was sort of true. “I need to go.”

She nodded.

And I did need to leave, but I didn’t want to. It took several moments for me to force myself to move. Standing, I grabbed my tunic from the floor as I told Kieran I’d be out in a few. He wouldn’t be waiting for me in the hall. He’d go somewhere quieter. I yanked the shirt over my head, glancing over my shoulder to see that she had retrieved the dagger. I grinned.

Clever girl.

I shrugged on a baldric and picked up the two short swords from the chest near the door, and it was like I had no control over what came out of my mouth. “I’ll come back as soon as I can.” I sheathed the blades flat to my sides, realizing that what I said was the truth. I would come back. “I swear.”

She nodded once more.

I stared at her. “Tell me that you’ll wait for me, Princess.”

“I will.”

Pivoting, I walked to the door and then stopped. Slowly, I turned back and soaked in the sight of her—that surprising mass of red waves and those parted lips, the way she sat there, clutching the edges of her cloak around her, brave yet vulnerable. It was an interesting mix, one I wanted to continue exploring.

“I look forward to returning.”

She was silent again, and I knew it was unlikely that she’d be here when I returned, but I would come back. I would look for her. And if she wasn’t here?

I would find her again.

Sooner rather than later.

She would be mine.