Chapter ELEVEN: Dreams
I sat up in an instant and found myself in a foreign environment. Stone walls surrounded the place, it was cold, but warmed by fire that was crackling in the fireplace at the far wall to my left. I felt a presence behind me, but somehow I didn’t feel danger. Curious to see who it was, I turned hoping to see Aranthias surprising me in an odd kind of way, but instead, my jaw dropped as I found his dark twin.
“You were dreaming of him” his voice held such a familiarity to Aranthias’ that it raised the hair at the back of my neck to know it wasn’t coming from him. I gathered the red blanket to cover myself, I was naked under the blanket… again. I really needed to get out of the habit of waking up on someone else’s bed naked. My face must’ve shown terror as I registered what could have happened while I was unconscious and dreaming of making love to Aranthias, but the man shook his head.
“I didn’t touch you”
I looked under the blanket again, yeah… still naked…
“Well, apart from removing your clothes, but it was covered by blood anyway”
I tied the blanket around myself, making a knot just above my breasts and got off the bed. I eyed Crimson Tears that was leaning against the wooden bedside cabinet, and without wasting any time I unsheathed Crimson Tears and charged towards him. To my surprise, he didn’t even flinch. Crimson Tears was pressed against his bare chest, drawing a little bit of his blood, but he didn’t budge, not even an inch. I gasped as I met his purple-golden eyes.
“Why didn’t you move?”
Again, he didn’t move a muscle, not even trying to get away from the sword that was piercing his skin.
“I knew you wouldn’t chop me into pieces”
Sadly, it was true. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. I felt the love I had for Aranthias towards this man.
He moved and pressed himself against Crimson Tears, I hadn’t moved it out of the way, but it didn’t seem to bother him. His hand reached out above the sword and grabbed my head to draw me into a kiss. Against my will, I kissed him back.
For someone who was ruthless and bound to kill the people I cared for, I found tenderness and comfort in his kiss. Every little detail about him was exactly as I remembered it on Aranthias’ body. Antheon moved his hand to mine, putting Crimson Tears out of the way, closing the gap between us. The blood flowed down my chest, staining the satin blanket I wore around myself. He hadn’t healed as it was Crimson Tears that had made the wound. His kiss was fierce and demanding, but every sensation I got from it was unmistakably love. His hands traveled down my body, studying every single curve of me. Slowly and seductively, he untied the satin blanket, letting it fall to pool at my feet. I felt his need as his groin had grown stiff pressed against my stomach.
Stop this, Ondine! He is only using you! But my body reacted differently to his touch. I wanted him inside me, fulfilling my need.
Push him away before it gets too far! Again, my arms did the complete opposite, I drew him closer to me, letting my naked breasts touched his chest. I touched his temple and ran my fingers down to tuck the falling hair behind his ears, buy as soon as I did that, a vision ran through my eyes, vision of me dying at his feet, Crimson Tears in his hand, but he cried at my side, regretting that I was dying and he couldn’t heal me.
In that instant I drew away from him, I remembered what Aranthias said about him seeking me for the complete power, I realized then, as much as he held the same love to me as Aranthias, he would kill me or at least get me killed, it didn’t matter if he regretted my death, or walked to the end of the world to resurrect me, it was his destiny to kill me. If my vision showed me what I saw just then, it meant that whether he meant my death or not, Antheon would still walk in the gods’ presence and strike a killing blow if I stayed with him, buy it was still entirely up to me if I think he was worth my life, to choose him. It was painful just to think of it. I loved him too.
He moved towards me again. I backed away as touching his skin would clouded my mind again, but he moved forward anyway to close the gap between us once more.
“Let me out of here” I demanded. He ignored and rounded his arms around my waist and turned my ear to face his mouth
“Why do you want to go when you want me?” his finger slid down to my center. I admitted, it was a weak demand, because I was more than wanting. His finger started to stroke me in the most pleasurable way. I moaned as he plunged two fingers in. His body pressed against mine as he trailed his tongue on the length of my neck and his fingers skillfully stroked me. I tried to command my body to stop enjoying his touch, but it refused to.
Fuckin’ hell, get a fuckin’ grip! I yanked my mind back to reality, dragging with me, every strand of what was left of my consciousness. My trembling hands pressed against his chest and weakly pushed him away, letting his fingers slid out of me.
“Let me out of here” I demanded again, I tried my hardest to keep my face straight. At that, his face grew stiff as a stone. Cold with no emotion, he took the satin blanket that was still on the floor and handed it to me. I took it from him.
“You cannot leave, Ondine. You are a mine!” his voice held so much power that it made me jerked, but his eyes showed his primal instinct, claiming what was his. Anger tore through me, even I loved him as much as I loved Aranthias, I didn’t take order from anyone but myself.
“You don’t own me” I replied to his cold tone. He walked towards me, stood so close to me that I had to tilt my head to meet his eyes.
“You may not know that you are mine yet, but know this… every touch you put on Aranthias, is the same as every touch you put on me. Your love for him is your love for me. I am him and he is me! I feel you with me when you were with him, and he would feel the same as you are with me now”
My mind went to the moments when I was with Aranthias, it must have been a torment, knowing someone else was touching a person he wanted to be with. Feeling every single touch I gave him without having my presence. It would kill me should I feel someone else is touching someone I loved, feeling the caressing touch of him but had yet not have him. If I hadn’t knew better, I would take Antheon back into my arms and sooth him, strip him naked from his clothes and make love to him the way I make love to Aranthias. Afterall, they both were the same person.
“This is why I cannot choose between you two” I finally whispered.
His face turned soft again, the way Aranthias would look at me. His hands ran through my hair, his pale skin glowed blue like how I saw it at the battle field. Placing his palm on my cheek, he whispered,
“I’ve been waiting for you all my life, Ondine. Please don’t go away” his voice was soft, loving… begging, something I wouldn’t expect to hear coming out of Antheon’s mouth.
The words tore my heart, it was Aranthias’ who spoke those words. I wanted to believe that Antheon had Aranthias’ feelings, his heart, his love, and Antheon was trapped with those feelings inside him eventhough he was hatred and anger that was formed out of Aranthias’ soul. When Antheon stood before me, I saw a man, a man deserved to be loved. I wondered then, why did Antheon have those feelings for me while he was a form of Aranthias’ corrupted mind, the one that was forced into him during his lifetime in Absolon. It would have made it at least a little bit easier if the man only possessed Aranthias’ looks but not his love for me too. I guessed even the most evil could feel love.
Slowly, but surely, I took a step back and took Crimson Tears to its sheath. I felt his gaze followed my every movement as I went back beside the bed to put Crimson Tears back where I found it. At last, I tied the satin blanket around myself again. My body was still aching for his touch, but I didn’t dare to claim it, not while I still have a little consciousness and control over myself. What he did next took me by surprise, he grabbed me on my waist and pulled me into a tight hug, and when I felt a prickle of liquid stained my shoulder, I knew he was weeping. In that moment I truly wished Gin was at my side, I didn't now what to do, but Gin would usually give me some pointers.
As if the universe heard my plea, I was pulled back from Antheon’s room, and woke up in a room I recognized, my room at the Tarkas.
Great. This kind of dream huh? A hand touched mine, I recognized the warmth, the comfort, it was indeed Gin’s touch. I found him sitting at the edge of my bed, stroking the back of my hand. I moved my head towards him to meet his eyes. Those grey gentle eyes that held wisdom of all mankind lied upon me. I curled and brought my arms around his waist, hugging him so tightly and laid my head on his thighs and for the first time in centuries I wept for not knowing what to do. I felt like the time when I just lost my parents, didn’t know what to do, all I did was to weep, wishing them to come back but they never did.
Gin combed my hair with his delicate fingers, tucking the hair on my face behind my ear, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
“Please tell me it’s real this time” I begged. He placed his hand on my bare back, patting me.
“Sorry my dear, not quite… but you summoned me and here I am” I was a little surprise at the revelation. Normally it would be Gin who summoned me as I did not know how to do the otherwise.
“Please make them go away, I want to go back to the way before… I can’t choose” I was ashamed of myself when I heard the words coming out of my mouth. I was like a little spoilt child, wanting something, but the minute I had to struggle to get it I give up and want someone else to deal with the problem. Gin didn’t’ judge me though, he merely just soothed me with his touch, a gentle friendly touch.
“They’re two different person” I said again.
“Says who?” I went quiet at his comment.
“You have chosen. There is nothing left for you to decide, only to act” he said at last.
“I…” but he cut my sentence “Your instinct is the best one to follow, and when you’re in doubt, then look into yourself. You’ve survived thing long relying on it, don’t stop believing it now”
I groaned in frustration, not understanding what Gin said, or more like my brain was refusing to understand.
“Gin… stop talking riddles, please. I’m in crisis here”
“So are the rest of us, Ondine” the weight of his words didn’t match his tone. I knew I was making selfish wish. I nodded but didn’t let go of him.
“Are you safe?” I asked when I shifted my gaze to his.
“We are. Many wounded, but we’d manage, Losec is working really hard. Faye needed the most healing though after her encounter with Antheon, but she’s doing fine” I remembered that encounter, Faye rose to challenge Antheon at the battlefield, and I was glad to hear that she was alright.
“Let me ask one more question then before you vanish on me”
“Sure”
“Where exactly am I? I mean, in the real world” I didn’t really want to have anymore surprises coming my way, so I thought I’d rather ask so I knew what to expect. I heard him sighed deeply.
“To be honest” he ran his fingers down my hair again “I don’t know, you actually disappeared after last seen with Aranthias. I know you’re not with him though, I can’t feel his presence with you, but he is not with me either. I was worried, before I heard your call, at least now I know you’re safe. Now go back, and I’ll meet you again later” he said as he sent me off to another roller coaster ride.
This time I woke up I wasn’t in the dream realm anymore. I knew it as soon as I felt hammering pain inside my head and burning sensation on my stomach. The pain felt too familiar to an open wound, I looked at my stomach expecting to find gory open wound, but confusion rushed through me as I only found smooth skin, not even a scratch was visible. Still confused, I looked around, it wasn’t Absolon for sure as I found running water not too far away from where I was, and I was sitting on green grass, and surrounded by trees. Where in the world is this?
“You’re in the gods’ plain” a melodic voice answered.
I turned back to find the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Her face was oval, decorated by her almond shaped eyes, her pupil was light blue with sparks of silver, much like Gin’s eyes, her rosy lips were thin perfectly proportioned and placed below the delicate nose. Her long blonde hair touched her knees, silky smooth, and carried the scent of roses. She was dressed in a white silk gown, which covered her toes, around her waist was a belt made from leaves and flowers.
“How did I get here?”
“I brought you here” she answered without taking her gaze off mine. The breeze carried her rose scent with it, I inhaled the heavenly scent and felt sudden calmness in me.
“And you are…”
A faint laugh escaped from her, it sounded more like a series of chiming bells echoing inside my head.
“Thousands of years with the humans and you’ve forgotten your origin, why Ondine… I thought you would be at least a little more excited to meet the person who put you in your mother’s womb”
I was taken aback for a split second. Wait… that means I’m really in the gods plain? I never thought she was just messing with my head, and I surely hoped that it looked a lot different than what I saw. What did I expect? A castle built in the sky? Standing strong against the test of time with clouds at its base? Yeah right.
“Why am I here?”
“Good question!” she glided towards me “I’m here to warn you and give you a choice”. She put one hand on my shoulder, sending chills down my spine. Her presence was powerful that it took all my strength to stay up on my two feet.
“Are you going to warn me about my death if I choose Antheon? I already saw that, but I guess you knew that” She nodded and gave a faint smile.
“You’d die either way, Ondine. You’d die for Aranthias should you choose him, and you’d die as Antheon’s sacrifice should you choose him”
My stomach flinched as she laid my fate. Funny enough I wasn’t surprised. Death after this long is a blessing, I had served my purpose, but pain sneak in, I didn’t want to die, because I didn’t want to be apart from my other half.
“And what options are you proposing to me?”
“I could give you a way out… I can let you stay where you are, and you’d die when you choose one of them, or I could take your gift from you, give Aranthias’ full power back so they could finish this themselves, the war would go on, and I would send you back to your normal life at the age when you stopped aging. No one would remember you and you would be given an entire new memories and would not remember any of the life you know now”
It was a tempting offer. There were times when I really wanted all of this to disappear, and wondered how life would be like if I were human. On the other hand, I had found many precious things in my eternal life and although it was an effort to live a supernatural life, I had people who I care for, and I didn’t know whether I could live without them.
“Why are you offering me this now when you created me and put me in my mother’s womb? It defeats the purpose of my creation”
“Gods have flaws too. We didn’t expect that Aranthias would split and created Antheon. If you don’t choose between the two, I’m afraid you’d die and when you do, the two of them would have eternal war, unleashing hell on earth”
I shook my head, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing
“So… let me get this straight, you’re saying I would die no matter what I choose? You guys sucks”
She nodded, her eyes said she was sorry for the fate that was chosen for me. Then again, I didn’t believe in fate, I believed that I made my own choices, fate was only one of the millions of possibilities that could happen should I choose to go down that path.
“Why can’t you gods kill one of them if that happens?” She gave a deep sigh as she moved to my side.
“Well… we are bound to an oath. When Aranthias was fading but refused to give up on humans, he made a deal, he wasn’t strong enough to transform himself into a human form. So he summoned our father to do the bidding for him, turning him into a human form, but since father took his ability to kill a god, he bargained and lifted the gods ability to kill him. Aranthias refused to leave his people, and he would not let anyone take his life from him, not even the gods. Since turning him into a human form was a favor to both sides, father agreed. He also believed that hope should keep on living”
I sat on the ground, hands on my jaw, propping my head, I couldn’t think, I wanted him, but didn’t know how to choose. On the other hand I wanted to have a normal life, a life I had been yearning to have for the last few thousand years. Then I found my love for him, I couldn’t leave him now and let him fight by himself. Heavily, I rose to my feet again, and although I didn’t want to send myself to my own death, I made my choice.
“I choose to stay” I felt her hand squeezed mine.
“It’s not easy to walk straight to you own death, Ondine” with that, she flashed me back into what I hoped to be the human world, and I wished that this time when I opened my eyes I would be somewhere I recognized.