#8 The Archer and her Wolf

Thea

I hadn’t intended on confessing my deepest, darkest secret to Xaiver but, before I could stop myself, the words came spilling out. The emotional exhaustion of the memories took me by surprise and I found myself collapsing in Xaiver’s arms for hours. I was shocked when the sun started to stream in through the window blinds.

I had cried more tears than I knew I was capable of and was all dried up by morning. I sniffed and pulled myself away from Xaiver, wiping the back of my hand across my face. My eyes were burning from the tears and lack of sleep, my eyelashes heavy and stiff as they fluttered up towards Xaiver. I smiled at him sheepishly and he returned it with a sympathetic expression.

“I suppose asking if you’re okay is a silly question.” Xaiver chuckled to himself as he cupped my face and rubbed the palm of his thumb across my cheek.

“Actually, I think I’m better than I’ve been in a long time.” I replied honestly.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Thea, but I’m so happy that you told me.” He said in a soft, gentle voice that was warm and rich like honey.

“I’ve never told anyone before.” I said and Xaiver’s face scrunched up in question, “Other than Effie and my squad, no one else knows.”

“You should talk to someone about this, my love. Someone who could help.” Xaiver replied carefully.

“Xaiver, you have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone. Especially my family.” I suddenly felt worried and sick to my stomach at the idea of Xaiver telling anyone about what happened to me.

Xaiver’s free hand came up to grasp the other side of my face.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise, love. Your wish is my command.” He spoke with nothing less than honesty, “I just think that if you spoke about it….” I silenced him,

“I don’t need to talk about it. I accepted what happened to me and used it to become stronger.” I said sternly.

“You cut off your emotions so you wouldn’t have to feel pain. You turn away from anything that might cause you happiness because you’re afraid of it.” Xaiver’s voice was kind but his words were serious and, although he didn’t mean for them to, they hurt.

“Xaiver….” I tried to argue, but he wasn’t finished yet,

“The idea of the matebond, of having emotions and happiness, isn’t why that happened to you.” He said,

“I was distracted.” I replied stubbornly.

“Those beasts took your choice away from you. What happened is their fault, not yours.” Xaiver had an angry scowl on his face and his eyes, which were pitch black, betrayed his hatred.

“Yes, they did. But, they never should’ve gotten me.” I argued, stepping out of Xaiver’s grip.

“Thea, I’m really sorry, but you’re using that as an excuse.” He sighed, dropping his hands to his side.

I opened my mouth to reply and then closed it before opening it again. I was sure I looked like a fish breathing air. I didn’t have an intelligent response, or any response, really.

“If you were in the hospital for a month, how come your parents don’t know about it?” Xaiver asked, changing the subject only slightly.

“Effie is authorized to make decisions on my behalf. She became a legal guardian of sorts to me since I joined up at such a young age. My parents don’t know 90% of what happens to me while I’m on missions, and what they do know is told to Papa so he can nice it up for Mom and Dad.” I said,

I walked across the hotel room towards my bag and started pulling out a new set of clothes along with my shower supplies. Xaiver followed me with his eyes only as he remained frozen by the bed.

“I want to know.” He said and I glanced back at him,

“Sorry?” I asked.

“I want to know what happens to you. If you’re laid up in a hospital, I want to know. If you’re injured, I want to know. If you have the flu, I want to know. I want to be your emergency contact.” He said, looking at me seriously.

“After everything I just told you….” I waved my hand around, gesturing towards nothing in particular.

“And I’m still here, still not going anywhere, and still fighting for your acceptance. Now I know your reasoning, I know about some of your scars, and that’ll only bring us closer. I’m not going anywhere, Thea, I’m not sure what I need to do to get that threw your beautifully stubborn head.” He started to smirk at the end, crossing the room in a few long strides to take me in his arms again.

“Oh, you’ll just have to say it a few hundred more times.” I teased him, but my head was swirling and I felt a little breathless.

“Done. However long it takes.” He shrugged easily.

“When I go back, I’ll make sure Effie adds you to my file.” I agreed.

His arms circled around my waist and I hesitantly raised my arms, resting my hands on his biceps. Xaiver smiled widely at the contact.

“Thank you, my love.” He ducked down and pressed his lips to my cheek, “Permission to kiss my lady?” He whispered against my skin. I couldn’t help but giggle,

“Permission granted.” I said.

Xaiver tugged me even closer to him as he raised his lips to meet mine. He gently pressed our mouths together, his plump lips soft and warm and passionate against mine. After a second, he pulled away.

“I’m going to go wash up.” I mumbled, tucking my clothes and bath bag tightly to my chest. Xaiver nodded and stepped back.

“I’ll have some breakfast sent up.” He said, walking towards the hotel room’s phone.

I disappeared inside the large bathroom and locked the door, leaning against it and closing my eyes. I took several deep breaths, calming my mind and my body. I frowned and groaned at myself, get it together, Thea!

I pushed off the door and threw my stuff down on the vanity. Angrily, I dug out my shower supplies and stacked them up in the shower. I undressed and dumped my clothes on the floor before entering the walk in shower. It had two shower heads and complex looking controls. I fiddled with them for a while before I finally got the right temperature of water to come out of the right shower head.

I let the scalding water burn away the memories of all those nights in the rogue camp and the morning I woke up to discover how changed my life was. I scrubbed and scrubbed until my skin was red and raw, the scars almost becoming invisible. I scratched at my scalp, the soap sudsing up to cover my raven colored hair. When I stepped back under the stream of water, the tiled floor of the shower turned soapy and my hair laid flat against my wet skin.

For minutes, I stood still and silent under the water, steam filling the room. I closed my eyes and tried not to see their faces, the faces of the rogues who took away my choice, my identity, and my innocence. The rogues who my squad tore apart, one by one, and left them a bloody pile of fur and skin abandoned in a camp in the middle of the woods somewhere in Montana.

A knock on the door startled me from my nightmares, causing me to jump and realize that the water had turned ice cold.

“Are you okay in there, Thea?” Xaiver asked, “The breakfast is here.”

“Yes, fine, I’m finishing up.” I called out, switching off the shower and stepping out.

I wrapped one of the plush, white towels around my body and pulled the hair dryer from the wall. I got to work on my long, thin hair, drying it the best I could with the low wattage dryer. After ten minutes, I gave up with my hair still damp and stringy. I dropped the towel and pulled on my clothes; a pair of dark colored joggers and a purple v-neck t-shirt. I scooped up my pajamas and bath bag before exiting the bathroom. Without looking around, I walked over to my bag and stuffed everything back inside, zipping it shut.

Turning around I noticed Xaiver for the first time. His hair was damp and ruffled messily, his hands shoved deep inside his jeans and a black T-shirt clinging to his damp body. I looked him up and down with greedy eyes, shamelessly inspecting every inch of him. Something about seeing a man after spending the night with him was forbidden, secretive and sexy.

Then, I noticed the food. The two tea carts were full and the table was perfectly set. Xaiver smiled his drop dead gorgeous, and quite smug, crooked grin before pulling out a chair for me. I shook my head at him but couldn’t help the smile that turned up my face. I accepted the chair and allowed him to help me push it towards the table. He sat across from me and started removing the lids.

“Did you buy out the hotel?” I laughed.

“Nothing but the best.” He shrugged as he revealed piles of pancakes, bacon, sausage, toast, jams, eggs prepared all sorts of different ways, and fruit, “What would you like?” He asked, picking up my empty plate.

“Pancakes,” I said, “And some eggs and, oh, bacon, too.” I added.

Xaiver shot me a smug look before piling the food on my plate, he added a piece of toast and a glass of apple juice as well. I grabbed some of the orange jam and got to work on spreading it over my toast. I salted my eggs and buttered my pancakes before diving in.

Xaiver ate twice as much as me, four full plates full of everything the hotel offered us. I thought I ate a lot, I thought I would be embarrassed by eating two platefulls in front of a man. I was quite wrong. Xaiver was actually impressed by my appetite and, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he took it as a personal challenge to eat more than me.