Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

Gary started to leap from his perch above the chamber as he witnessed the second jolt to Leslie’s collar. Dorian grabbed onto him anticipating the need for restraint. A bristle of fur raced across the top of his hand and up his forearm. He intended to caution “Gary”, but instead uttered a hushed “garoof”. He withdrew his hand quickly as the fur reached his shoulder.

“If not now, when?” Gary snapped back. “He’s not tied up or anything. He could fight or flee if given the chance.”

“What about the collar?” Dorian asked. “Remember it can be turned much higher. What if it kills him?”

” We would have to get to that remote before they had the chance to use it.”

“And we would do that how?”

Gary paused. “I don’t know. Cadence, any ideas on the subject?”

Cadence peered over the ledge at the two standing on the dais.

“They tend to set the remote back onto the lectern when they aren’t threatening Leslie with it. If we could lure them away from there one of us could snatch it. I’m pretty sure we could overpower them with Leslie’s help.”

“The only problem is that we are up here. How are we supposed to get down there?” Gary asked.

“How about being escorted down at gunpoint?”

“That’s not funny, Dorian.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Dorian denied.

“It wasn’t meant to be funny,” a voice responded from the darkness of the tunnel. A spark of light caught the barrel of the pistol and then glinted off the lenses of the gunman’s pince-nez glasses as he entered the glow of the cavern.

“Lenny?” Cadence gasped.

“I’m sorry that it has to be this way, Cadence. It looks like you might be late for your first day of work.”

Lenny motioned with the weapon for the group to rise and move toward the ramp.

“Boys, we’ve got company!”

Lenny ushered his captives onto the earthen pathway that led to the floor of the cavern. Dorian walked with his hands raised above his head.

“What are you doing?” Lenny queried.

“You have a gun. It’s what I’m supposed to do.”

“Just put them down and walk,” Lenny ordered.

“Gary!” Leslie called out.

“We’re okay,” he called back.

“We’re here to rescue you!” Dorian added. “Pretty good job so far, huh?”

“Are you okay?” Cadence asked.

“White linen pants after Labor Day. Besides that, I’m at about a nine.”

Leslie held up his hands and nodded to the one wrapped in gauze.

“Enough with the how-do-you-dos! You three take a seat on the wagon and stay on this side so we can see you!” Lanky pointed at the cart.

Lenny joined the henchman on the dais. Cadence stared blankly at him as he set the pistol down on the lectern. He slowly slid his hand over the remote, palmed it, and then slipped it into his pocket. He acknowledged Cadence with a wink. The realization that Lenny was on their side washed over her.

“Its time grows near, gentlemen. Do we have the recompense? Lenny asked.

“It’s bad enough that the damn book is loaded with fancy words. Speak plainly, for God’s sake!” Shorty moaned.

“The toll for Charon.”

“Plainer than that.”

“The offering that we put in that big bowl to summon the ferryman.”

Shorty sighed and rolled his eyes.

“He’s asking if we have the coins for the creep that will bring back DeLeon,” Lanky explained.

“Finally! Was that so hard?” Shorty criticized. “Yes, we have the coins!”

“Are the vessels from Pandora’s pyxis set in the metal pivots?”

“You mean the gimbals?” Shorty suggested, showing off a newly acquired vocabulary word.

“Yes, the gimbals.”

“Yes. They are set.”

Lenny flipped forward through the book until he came to a page containing a single paragraph of text that was written in a language that had died long ago. He adjusted his specs and read silently through the passage. He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a long, slow exhale. He began to speak in an overly enunciated tone while looking directly at the henchmen and the captives.

“The synchronization of the incantation and the required actions is the most crucial part of this ritual. If not executed properly we will not be able to unlock the gateway. Once opened, we will still have to deal with the ferryman. As long as our offerings are acceptable to him, we will be granted passage.”

“Like slipping a roadie some green to get backstage,” Shorty suggested.

Dorian raised his hand. “I have a question.”

“What?” Lanky sighed.

“You keep saying things like ‘ferryman’ and ‘gateway’. That sounds like you’re talking about the underworld or something. Are you trying to get into hell?”

“Yes and no,” Lenny interjected. “We need access to the underworld to get to our ultimate destination. We are using hell as a conduit.”

Dorian gulped. “So, going through hell is the best way to get where you want to go? There isn’t another way? Maybe one with a brief stop-over that gets you there, but not as fast?”

“Believe me, if there were another way, we would take it. We aren’t thrilled about working with the crap associated with hell, but that pain and suffering are eternal and that is what we need to tap into.”

“You’ve lost me,” Gary groaned.

“We are opening a doorway to a realm where the passage of time is used as a tool. Hell and time go hand in hand. Souls are tormented by long waits, fleeting moments, and missed opportunities. We need access to the entity that oversees that aspect of hell. We will make an offering in exchange for a link to DeLeon in the past and permission to bring him here to the present day.”

“Why are you telling them all of this? They just need to sit there and be quiet.” Lanky complained.

“The kid asked a question and I answered him. I was being polite. Just because we’re opening a gateway to hell doesn’t permit us to forget about our manners. Maybe if you put a little thought into your actions you could elevate beyond thug status.”

Without any hesitation or thought Lanky clocked Lenny upside the head. Lenny crumpled into an unconscious heap over the top of the lectern.