Torn (All Torn Up Book 1)

Kenzi ~ age fourteen

Tor ~ age twenty-nine

‘Kenzi Valentine?’ I look up from the test I’m taking at the woman standing at the door of my classroom saying my name. I recognize her as working in the principal’s office.

‘Can you come with me?’ She asks when we make eye contact.

‘Um…okay.’ The other kids in my class watch me as I shove my book in my backpack and grab my bag, some of them whispering as I make my way through the desks to the door. My teacher takes my test from me as I near her desk.

‘Don’t worry about the test, Kenzi. You can make it up.’

‘Is something wrong?’ I ask the woman as soon as I get out into the hall. ‘Did I do something?’

‘No, nothing like that. Your aunt and uncle are here.’

My aunt and uncle?

As we walk down the empty hall towards the office, Uncle Toren and Aunt Sydni come into view, waiting for me in the front lobby. I can tell immediately by their somber faces that something is very wrong.

‘Kenzi…’ Aunt Sydni says, taking a few steps forward. ‘There’s been an accident. Your grandmother asked us to come get you.’

My breath hitches in my throat and my blood goes cold as my mind flips through the rolodex of everyone I love…MommyDaddyGramGreatGramPopChloeTalonStormRayneLukasMikahKatherineVandal.

‘Wh-What do you mean?’ I ask, searching both of their faces.

Uncle Tor pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly, his breathing ragged. He’s got grease on his clothes, hands, and a smudge on his face, meaning he came right from work without any time to change or wash. And Aunt Sydni’s wearing sweatpants and no makeup like she just got out of bed. It’s clear they came here to get me in a rush.

‘What happened?’ I ask, my face still buried in Tor’s chest. ‘Who is it?’

‘It’s your mom,’ He pulls me away to look into my eyes, his hands moving to my shoulders, squeezing them gently. ‘I’m sorry, Angel. It’s not good. We’re going to take you to the hospital. Everyone is there.’

His eyes are bloodshot and puffy, and so are Aunt Sydni’s, meaning they were both crying before they got here. Now they’re wearing fake, weak smiles, trying not to worry me, but I can tell something awful has happened.

As Aunt Sydni signs the form to take me out of school, I cling to Uncle Tor, my body shaking uncontrollably. I want to ask what happened but I can’t get my mouth to work.

‘Is she dead?’ I finally force in a hoarse whisper.

‘No, sweetheart. But I can’t lie to you…it’s bad,’ His strong arms go around me again. ‘I promise I’ll stay with you. We’ll get through this together. Everything will be okay.’

Tor

During the ride back home, her hand slips under the front of my shirt and rests against the skin right above the waistband of my jeans, every so often feathering up towards my chest or across my rib cage, slowly exploring me. I should tell her no groping when we’re riding but I’m enjoying her touch way too much to make her stop. On the easy, straight roads I reach back and run my hand down the outside of her leg, her thighs squeezing tighter around me as she presses her body closer to mine.

We pull over at an ice cream stand so she can use the restroom, and then sit at a picnic table to enjoy ice cream cones in the shade. We watch a couple with triplets who look to be about five years old attempt to eat theirs, but end up mostly wearing them. We can’t stop ourselves from laughing and the mother laughs with us. ‘Wait ‘til you two have your own,’ she says jokingly.

Christ. They think we’re a couple. Maybe the age difference between us isn’t as visibly obvious as I thought it was.

‘Do you still want kids, Tor?’ Kenzi asks. When I turn away from the messy little kids to answer her, her tongue is swirling around the vanilla ice cream, her lips all creamy, and my brain short circuits watching her. I’d do anything to have her lips and her tongue on my cock just like that. Or anywhere on my body.

‘Earth to Tor?’ she says, giggling, nudging my leg with her boot.

‘Huh?’ I drag my eyes away from her mouth. ‘Kids?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Someday, yeah.’

‘You’d make a great dad.’

‘Think so?’

‘Definitely. Look how good you were with me all the time when I was little.’

No. I can’t think about that. Thinking about that makes me feel sick and twisted. I can’t think about shoving my cock into her mouth one minute and then remember rocking her to sleep when she was a baby the next. Standing, I throw the rest of my cone in a garbage can buzzing with flies. What the fuck am I doing with her? Why am I playing with fire and tempting us both with something we can’t have? I wonder if I should see a therapist about this mess I’ve got myself into, to help me figure out if what I’m doing is completely fucked up or if it’s actually acceptable if we both want it. And we’re both consenting adults now. And we love each other.

But she’s still my best friend’s daughter. Regardless of all those other things, that fact will never, ever change.

She wants to see the dog and the kitten, so I bring her back to my place instead of straight to her house after our ride. I didn’t tell her about the kitten; I surprised her by letting her come over to clean when she got back from Maine, and the kitten was sleeping on the couch when she got there. She called me at the shop all crazy excited after she saw her and I told her about how I found the kitten in a box on the side of the road. Originally, I thought the kitten was a boy, but it’s actually a girl. Needless to say, Kenzi fell immediately in love with the kitten just like she did with the dog.

‘Did you name this poor kitten yet?’ She asks me, sitting on the floor with both the dog and the kitten crawling up in her lap for love. Kenzi is a like a pet whisperer. They all love her.

I sit on the couch and pull off my boots, thinking we’ll relax and have a bite to eat before I take her home.

‘Yeah. Kitten. It goes with Diogee.’

She smirks at me. ‘That’s lazy, but it fits her,’ she picks the kitten up and cradles her against her chest. ‘She’s so adorable, Tor. I want to kidnap her and take her home with me.’

‘Your father will have a shit fit. You can come over here and hang out with them any time. I keep telling you that.’

She pouts. ‘It’s not the same. I miss having my own pet.’

‘We could get you another bunny.’ I offer. I considered surprising her with one, but wasn’t sure if it would just make her grief worse. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to replace Snuggles. After talking to Mom about it, we decided it was best to wait.

Putting the kitten down, she watches her walk off to chase Diogee’s tail and then pulls the clip out of her hair, unbraiding it and letting it all fall around her shoulders in soft waves. ‘I’ve been thinking about that, and I think I do want another one. I love the Lionheads.’

‘What the heck is that?’

‘It’s a breed of bunny with a really fuzzy face and head. They’re adorable, they almost look like little toys.’

‘Find one and I’ll take you to get it.’ I say without hesitation.

I move into the kitchen and open the refrigerator, rummaging around to see what we could have for dinner that’s quick and easy.

‘You want hamburgers?’ I ask, my head still in the fridge, when her warm hands slide up my back. I turn around and shut the door behind me, surprised at her touch. She’s being way more daring today than she ever has before.

‘I’m not hungry.’ She says, gently resting her palm on the center of my chest and peeking up at me, eyes burning with everything I want to see.

Her touch has pushed my last button. The last of my self-control crumbles, replaced with a mix of raging frustration and desire I can’t even begin to extinguish. I push her hand off my chest and slam her back against the wall, crushing my lips to hers, my hands gripping her waist. Her gasp against my lips should have been one of fear or maybe shock, but one glance at her darkening eyes tells me neither one of those is what she’s feeling. Not even close.

‘Is this what you want, Kenzi?’ I growl against her lips. ‘Is this what you’ve been begging for all day, touching me?’

‘Yes,’ she whispers breathlessly. ‘I want you.’

I slowly back away from her, torn between throwing her out and dragging her down the hall to my bedroom. ‘You don’t even know what that means.’

Her green eyes lock onto mine and I can see that I’m wrong. ‘Wanna bet?’

Holding her gaze, I yank off my worn t-shirt and toss it to the floor, watching how her eyes take in my bare chest and then drift hungrily to my abs. I want her to run. I want her to stay.

‘Well, here I am. Show me.’

I know every single one of Kenzi’s expressions for every feeling she has ever felt. But I’ve never seen this look of sheer smoldering desire on her face before. Her eyes stay on mine as she steps towards me with zero hesitation, zero doubt. She completely owns her determination to do exactly what I asked – show me.

The space between us disappears quickly, and she backs me up against the adjacent wall, her hands coming up to hold my face as she goes up on her toes to kiss my lips.

‘You,’ she says softly. ‘You are what I’ve always wanted. And yes – way before I even knew what that meant. But I know what it means now.’

She lowers her head and kisses my bare chest, right above the tattoo of her words, her lips soft, wet, and warm.

‘I want all of you,’ she continues as her lips move across my flesh. ‘Your love, your body. Your past, your present, your future. Everything.’

I can barely breathe as her mouth and hands trail down my chest to my stomach, and I lean back against the wall with my heart drumming loud and fast. My little Kenzi is fading away into the background. This woman in front of me has stepped into her place, saying all the words I need and want to hear, touching me in all the right ways, turning me on, making me fall harder. Blinking, I almost believe she’ll disappear and this will turn out to be just a fucked up hallucination, but she’s still here, now kneeling down in front of me with her hands on my thighs.

When her lips press against the front of my jeans, directly over my cock, I suck in a breath and my hand drifts to her head, gripping her hair.

‘Kenzi…’ I whisper raggedly, staring down at her. I don’t know what she’s done to me, but I’m powerless to do anything but just let her do whatever she wants. She plants small, quick kisses along the length of my cock, and almost makes me explode when she gently bites the head, her teeth grazing over the material of my jeans.

Yanking her up by her hair, I cover her mouth with mine, my chest heaving against hers as my hands slide down her back to cup her ass cheeks, grinding my cock against her.

‘You’re playing with fire,’ I rasp out.

‘I don’t care.’

‘Make me stop, Kenz. Please…’ I beg, knowing I’ll never let her go if she doesn’t stop this. She’s got me too far gone to turn back and her new level of sensual confidence is throwing up way too many green lights.

‘No.’ She says simply, wrapping her arms around me, kissing me just as hungrily as I’m kissing her.

‘Push me away.’

‘Never.’ She whispers, pulling me even closer.

‘What’s gotten into you today?’ I demand, moving my lips down to suck her neck.

‘I don’t know…’ she breathes, tilting her head back, letting me suck the delicate flesh of her throat. ‘Being so close to you all day…touching you…I don’t want to stop.’

‘Then we’re not stopping ’til we’ve had every fuckin’ inch of each other,’ I move my lips back up to hers and stare down into her eyes. ‘Once we start this, we can’t go back, Kenzi.’

She gulps, a hint of nervousness finally showing, and then she nods.

‘I know, Tor. This is what I want.’ Taking a small step backwards, she pulls off her shirt and drops it onto the floor, mimicking my dare.

‘I want you to touch me.’ She says, and suddenly it’s Christmas in August as I’m staring down at cleavage for days surrounded by thin, teasing black lace that I want to chew through to get to her. The power keeps shifting between us and now it’s my turn to be knocked back into shyness. I feel like I’m fifteen again, awestruck by how beautiful and perfect she is, afraid to touch her or speak for fear of scaring her away.

I don’t let that kid in me resurface for long, though. He’s got no right to be here anymore and I’m not letting him ruin this moment for me.

‘Oh, I’m going to touch you,’ I reply, palming her full breasts and rubbing my thumbs over her nipples peeking through the lace as her lips part in an excited, sultry sigh.

Bending down, I kiss her and walk her down the hallway to my bedroom, not breaking the kiss or taking my hands off her for a second. After kicking the door closed behind me, I push her onto the bed and crawl on top of her, hovering over her, reading her face. I need to know she’s ready for this or I’ll never be able to live with myself.

Reaching up, she pulls the hair tie out of the back of my hair and smiles when my hair falls down into her face.

‘You like that?’ I ask softly, stroking her cheek with the back of my hand.

‘I’ve dreamed about you on top of me like this, with your hair in my face.’

I suck in a quick breath. ‘You never told me you dreamt about me.’

Her hands skim up my chest, over my shoulders, and clasp behind my neck as she stares up at me. ‘I was afraid it would make you pull further away from me.’

‘I don’t think I can pull away anymore. It’s a battle I just can’t win.’

She pulls me down to her lips. ‘I don’t want you to,’ her voice is as sweet and soft as her kiss. ‘Ever,’ she kisses me again, pressing her body up against mine. ‘Please.’ Her lips touch mine again, soft and tinged with a dash of strawberry. Irresistible. ‘This feels right.’

It does feel right. So right that any thoughts of this ever being wrong are being sucked out of me like a vacuum by her lips on mine and her hands slowly roaming over my back, the lace of her bra chafing against my chest, stoking my desire for her until I can’t hold back anymore. Crushing my lips down on hers, I kiss her long and deep, using my leg to move hers apart to sink between her thighs, and we both moan and exhale, as if we’ve been holding our breath forever waiting for that first moment of full body contact.

I move my lips to the pulse at her neck, kissing and biting her as I move my way down to her chest, kissing the soft swell of her breasts and sliding my tongue deep into her cleavage. I unclip the front clasp of her bra and push the dark fabric away, revealing the most perfect set of tits I’ve ever seen in my life. Round, firm, creamy pale mounds with tantalizing pink tips begging to be touched. I cup her left breast in my hand before lowering my head to lick a slow circle around her waiting nipple before sucking it into my mouth. Her sudden gasp and the hardening of her tip against my tongue makes my blood pump harder as I drag my tongue across her chest to her other breast, ravishing it with my mouth while I continue to tease the other with my hand, playing the damp pebbled bud with my calloused thumb as I wildly flick my tongue over her. She arches up to me, clutching handfuls of my hair, mewing like a kitten, losing control.

Standing, I reach down and grab her foot, quickly yanking one sexy little boot off, then the other, before going for the button and zipper of her jeans, my eyes on hers the entire time. Her breathing is heavy as she watches me with wide, lustful eyes, her fingers gripping the white comforter as I undress her. When she’s naked on my bed, my heart races in my chest as I give myself a moment to take in her flawless skin and hourglass curves, wanting her more with each inch my gaze devours.

I kick off my own boots and unzip my jeans, entranced by her eyes and the way her breasts move up and down with each breath she takes. When her pink tongue darts out to lick her lips as I step out of my jeans and boxers, I’m completely unhinged for her mentally and physically.

Her body is engulfed by mine as I climb back on top of her, and I can feel her trembling beneath me now, either from fear or excitement or probably a mashup of both. My mouth is hard and demanding on hers as I move my body over her, the feeling of flesh on flesh making my cock like a rock between us, pressing against her, seeking her heat. Reaching down between us, I slide my hand between her thighs to gently stroke her pink lips and she’s so fucking wet already that it obliterates any ideas of patience and gentleness I may have had. I want in, and I want it now.

Her nails dig into my spine and she gyrates against my hand as I finger her, our mouths clashing together, tongues dancing. We’re caught up in a frenzy of kissing and groping, fighting to get closer and crawl inside each other, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

‘Are you still on the pill?’ I ask against her lips, my fingers expertly strumming over her clit.

She nods and moves her hands down to my ass, trying to pull me between her legs. ‘Yes…’ she says breathlessly. ‘For you.’

‘Good.’ I growl, moving between her thighs. She doesn’t waver at all when I grab my cock and rub the head up and down between her wet lips and over her clit, coaxing her into that crazy place of wanting nothing but sweet release. Of wanting nothing but me. She writhes and wiggles beneath me, her eyes fluttering closed as she starts to shake and I know she’s coming. I give her a few moments before sliding inside her with one deep, smooth thrust. She’s incredibly wet and tight, moving her body perfectly with mine, curving her leg around my waist and pulling me deeper into her, letting out a small cry when I’m met with a brief moment of resistance followed by a flood of wet warmth that vaults me into a new realm of carnal desire.

She’s mine.

I kiss her through the pain and whisper love to her as I drive into her harder and faster. She clings to me, arching up to meet my thrusts, echoing my whispers. I try to force myself to slow down but I can’t take it anymore and finally let myself go, gripping her outer thigh to pull her tight against me as I explode inside her.

‘I love you…’ I murmur with my lips against her ear. ‘Forever and longer.’

Time stands still as we rock against each other, our bodies slippery with sweat, her lips pressed against my chest, kissing that spot over my heart that’s forever marked with her words.

And now, her kiss. Her touch. Her love.

After today, I can never deny the truth again. She completely owns me.