The Stars are Dying: Chapter 9
I tried to count the minutes. Then, when seconds skipped and slowed, the hours. My fingernails split trying to tally them on the wall I was curled against. Twelve, though I would never know if I was right.
In this feeble state as the frightened pet in a cage, I couldn’t convince myself I harbored a shred of bravery. I had walked in here. There remained only a small inkling of spirit as I recalled the one time I’d stood up for myself. When Hektor first caught me wandering his establishment among the guests three years ago, I fought him for weeks, resisting his touch, fighting the hands he laid upon me. I apologized to the part of me I’d locked away that Hektor had succeeded in silencing me only when I had nowhere else to go.
Now I didn’t care. Even running into a soulless would at least be my choice, but this…this cell, was not.
What I desired the most was not food, though my stomach ached. Not a blanket, though my body tensed against the cold…
I wanted my dagger so desperately it wouldn’t leave my thoughts. The feel of it had become tangible, and my wrist practiced various maneuvers in the air that Cassia and Calix had taught me. My eyes could have been closed, so thick was the darkness while my head rested against the icy stone.
My hand reached out, tracing the wings of my dagger, until a flicker of light stopped me. Small twinkles of stars formed in front of me, and in my delirium to be hallucinating in the dark I reached for it. Touching them, I drew a shallow gasp at the low vibration, the enticing pull to reach further into the small expanse that widened. The thump against my ribs was all I could hear, and my hand met something solid, my fingers curled around it, and I couldn’t believe it to be what my mind concluded.
I pulled it toward me, and the small galaxy reflected off the metal that appeared black before the light winked out completely.
I didn’t immediately move. My fist clutched tighter, expecting reality to wipe my imagination clean with laughter when my chipped nails bit my palm.
They didn’t.
My fist remained clamped around the hilt, and I was no longer certain I was awake. I couldn’t see it, but my fingers reached over the cross guard, feeling every ridge of the carving of feathers I knew without question. Then they felt along the unmistakable wave of the blade.
My breathing came short with adrenaline, needing to confirm it further, and so I grabbed the sharp end in my palm. I cried out immediately as it sliced through skin, but the pain was numbed in my euphoria.
It was real.
I stood from the bed. The stormstone dagger trembled in my extended grip, but I released a sob of elation at the impossibility and fear that this was a trick and it could be stolen from me at any moment.
“I would kill him, but that vengeance has the chance to be yours.”
I spun at the silvery voice, unable to make out a thing in the pitch-dark, but his presence rippled close. I angled my blade in the direction I thought him to be.
“Very good,” he said, sending gravel over my skin at the proximity, and when I turned again, I would have struck true were it not for the hand that caught my wrist. “When you go to use your beautiful darkness, make sure you aim for his heart.”
“You’re not really here.”
Yet he guided my hand higher, until the tip of the blade rested against something I could drive it through.
“You’re not real.”
“Try it,” he tempted.
“You want me to stab you?”
“If it helps ease your mind, yes.”
“Now I know you can’t be real.”
His chuckle turned my mind in contradiction to the delightful shiver that ran through my body.
“Nyte.” I said his name, enjoying the sound of it.
“Starlight.”
I had to touch him. My hand holding the dagger fell only for my other to rise. He inhaled deeply when I came so close to grazing his cheek before he caught my wrist again.
“You’re bleeding.”
I’d forgotten about the wound that didn’t hurt.
“It’s nothing.”
I thought his breath blew across my palm, but there was no warmth. My fingers met soft skin—lips—and I was too stunned by the electricity coursing through me to move.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
I wished I could see him. I wanted to feel more of him, and the dark gave me brazen confidence. It offered his company, though I didn’t know how it was possible.
I stepped closer as he guided my hand away from his mouth, letting it go, but when he cupped my cheek, something sparked to life in my chest and chased out every desolate thought of my surroundings, my situation, just for this fleeting moment.
“I have to go,” he said.
“Please don’t.”
Mint and sandalwood drifted over me until a tingling on my lips caught my breath. “Do not beg,” he whispered. “Certainly not for me.”
The flame burning within me snuffed out, and the smoke that remained threatened to choke me.
He was gone.
The echo of his touch lingered on my face, but his phantom presence was snatched cruelly by cold emptiness. I stood alone once again, bewildered by what I’d conjured.
“I’m not going insane,” I said to myself, beginning a short pace. “I’m not losing myself.” I bit at the raw tips of my fingers, but I couldn’t feel anything.
I had lost myself long ago. My strings had been tied the moment I accepted salvation from the first thing to offer it, and I’d been naïve to never question his love as control. His gifts were control. His protection was fucking control. And I wanted to give it all back and keep running barefoot through that forest no matter what other arms might catch me instead.
My palms slapped against the brittle stone with a cry.
Then a faraway disruption pricked my senses—the first indication of people beyond the door since I’d been placed here. In my terror that Hektor might take the weapon from me again, I hastily stuffed it under the pillow. My pulse clawed up my throat when the commotion grew louder. There was shuffling, a few thumps that made my body jerk, and I braced myself for Hektor to barge in with an unhinged anger.
The door didn’t burst open. Whispers sounded as it was carefully unlocked, and when it opened, my eyes stung, and I winced against the light.
“Shit.”
I couldn’t see him, but the muttering of his rage filled my eyes, and I whimpered. “Zath?”
“That bastard,” he growled, storming over to the cell.
I cried. With twinges of shame at where he’d found me, and in world-caving relief as the jingle of keys became the melody of freedom.
“We’re getting you the hell out of here.”
The moment the door swung open my arms wrapped around him, needing desperately that solid reassurance he was real and warm. I couldn’t stop shivering from the cold. “He’ll kill you,” I sobbed, suddenly overwhelmed by what Zath’s intervention meant.
“Not if I kill him first.”
I unhooked my arms, shaking my head with the horror that filled me. I took a step back into the cage, but Zathrian’s arm hooked around me to prevent it.
“Never again,” he growled.
Zath tried to pull me, but I was riddled with a fear so true, haunted by my many memories of Hektor taking the lives of those who had displeased him. For what Zath had done…my stomach cramped at the thought of the display Hektor would make of him.
“You have to go,” I pleaded.
“Listen to me,” he said firmly.
My hand curled around the iron bar at his shift toward me. Impatience twitched his jaw, but I could suffer his disappointment so long as he was safe.
“You must trust me. We’ve already wasted too much time, and there is not a fucking chance I’m leaving you alone here for another second. So you either use those legs, or I’m seconds away from hauling you over my shoulder.”
Zathrian spoke like a commander, how I imagined one would speak to a soldier out of their wits with fear in battle. I’d read a short tale once, one of history, that lingered with me still for the heart-wrenching notion of what it took to fight for what you believed in.
My hand slowly uncurled from the bar.
Zath’s hard frown eased a little in relief. “We need to go,” he said, softer now, extending a palm.
I looked at it, trying to silence the thought that to accept was to seal his end.
“What the hell is taking so long?”
I gasped at the feminine voice that hissed through the darkness. “Cassia?” I whispered, afraid I was mistaken by the silhouette in the doorway.
She ignored me to say, “We have less than five minutes before someone notices the bodies.” Her tone was one I’d never heard before, so focused and demanding.
“How?” I choked out.
“Not now,” she said then dipped out of view again.
Zathrian grabbed my hand, but before he dragged me out I reached back, smiling in triumph as I felt the dagger and thanking the stars for their mercy. I willed them to keep watch over us as we jogged out to the hall.
“Where are we—?”
A hand clamped over my mouth before I could finish, strangling my scream. I tore my hand from Zath’s as he drew a long dagger, aiming his blade, but my worst fear was coming to pass. How could I have believed we’d make it out when my chain to Hektor would always return me here, into his arms?
Cassia lifted her bow, nocking an arrow with expert attention on her target.
“You’re staying right here, of course,” Hektor said in a chilling calm. His arm encircled my waist, and I turned nauseous at the vile stroke of possession. His palm eased away from my mouth, only to brush my hair over my shoulder.
“She’s not staying with you for another fucking minute.”
I’d never heard such venom from Zath.
“What a disappointment you have turned out to be,” Hektor said darkly. “Though I’ll admit I never saw this coming, and for that you have my respect. A fine spy indeed. But I cannot wait to make an excellent show of your death—”
“No,” I said. The word clawed through my throat like sandpaper. “I’ll stay. It was my fault, and I’m sorry. Just let them go.”
As Hektor’s warm breath blew across my ear, I turned so painfully stiff. Pull yourself together. Zath shifted, fury lining his threatening face, but I pleaded with my eyes for him to let me go.
“I like to hear you owning your mistakes.”
Hektor stroked down my neck, over my shoulder, and I trembled at his touch, which felt shameful with our audience. I dropped my eyes in cowardly submission, unable to stand my only two friends seeing me like this. Vulnerable. When I’d spent so much time with words convincing them I was not.
The string of Cassia’s bow snatched our attention. “My father could have this place shut down and you executed for this.”
“For what?” Hektor challenged with cool arrogance. “You are trespassing on my land, Cassia Vernhalla. I think you’ll find I have a rather upstanding but private agreement with the reigning lord. I will give you this one chance to leave alone. Forget this and your father will not hear of it.”
Her chuckle was so dark and dry. “You’ll have to make a better offer before this spears your throat.”
“I’d expect nothing less from our esteemed Selected.”
“Please just go,” I said, barely a whisper, the only pathetic soul in this confrontation. I was unworthy of the deadly conflict that was only because of me.
“I have this place surrounded,” Hektor drawled as if boredom became him. “You wouldn’t get within five feet of the door without my signal stopping you at every turn.”
“You’d have to be alive to make that signal.”
I shuddered at the sudden intrusion of Calix’s voice from behind. Hektor hissed in my ear, and I tried to turn just enough to see him.
Instead I met eyes with Zath, whose gaze flashed down only for a second, and mine widened in remembrance. My fingers flexed around the handle of the black dagger I’d almost forgotten about in my numb, frightened state.
I could use it. I could do this.
Until my pulse raced and my fingers clutched tighter because I was too late. Foolishly, cowardly too late.
Hektor’s hand trailed the length of my arm, over my clenched fist, and he raised our hands until the dagger was pointed at Zath. “How did you get this? My study is across the manor,” he mused.
“The only way out of this…is you.”
I tensed at Nyte’s echo in my mind.
Hektor’s touch went to unfurl my fingers.
“Be your own savior.”
I blinked against a wave of adrenaline at what I was about to do.
My hold released and the dagger fell, only to be caught in my other hand. Without drawing another breath, I twisted my wrist, and the stomach-churning resistance of my blade submerging through flesh only lasted for a second before Hektor’s cry snapped me to my senses. I whirled, and the sight of the crimson dripping from my blade only struck me with horror for a moment before Hektor fell to his knees. His green eyes shot up and he reached to grab me, but my blade struck again.
With two hands my vision came true, both wrapped around the blade I’d plunged into his chest.
We locked wide-eyed, bewildered stares.
He would have come after me.
Worse, he would have killed Zath and Calix, possibly Cassia, for what I had done.
Hektor had to die, though his dark grip on my soul didn’t relent at this knowledge.
Rage turned to agony as I stumbled back, still clutching the blade, not knowing what else was happening.
What have I done?
“We need to go.” Cassia’s voice jerked my stiff body, barely a drowned whisper while ringing filled my ears at Hektor’s strained chokes of pain as his life faltered.
“You have no idea what you’re doing,” he rasped. “I kept you safe. They will kill you as soon as they know.”
I couldn’t feel the hands gripping my shoulders, but they forced me to turn away from the man I’d thought I loved. The man who had given me shelter and safety, whose life I had taken in return. Calix motioned to Cassia down the hall. Zath guided me, but I felt no more than a ghost on a leash. Their lips moved, but I couldn’t make out words.
Then I looked for him—Nyte—certain I had heard his voice, but no eyes of dawn were revealed.
I didn’t get time to dwell on my storm of confusion as I gave over to the force driving me.
“Astraea!” Cassia’s urgency sliced through me, and only then did sensation return to my skin. “You’re in shock, but I need you to hold it together until we get out of here.”
“There will be an alert soon,” Zathrian said. “I’m going to stop as many of them as I can. Take her with you.”
That command registered dully, along with Zath’s first steps away. “Don’t leave,” I said—a pathetic ask after all he’d risked for me, but he couldn’t put himself in danger again.
“You’re free now, Astraea,” he said softly.
Zath strode away, and my first step after him was stopped by a hook around my elbow. Snapping my head around, my argument didn’t escape when I beheld the fierce urgency on Cassia’s face. She took my hand, and I was about to let her lead me out of the manor until I stopped suddenly.
“I need something. I’ll be quick. Please, Cassia. I’ll meet you in the woods in five minutes.”
“It surely can’t be worth the risk. This whole manor will be coming for you in less than that.”
“We’ve risked ourselves enough,” Calix argued, shooting me a look of agitation I couldn’t react to. “Let’s go, Cassia. She’ll meet us, and if not, we’ve done enough.”
Though it stung to hear, I was grateful for Calix’s harshness this time. Cassia’s jaw worked with reluctance, but I turned and sprinted with all the stealth I’d mastered through these halls.
Bursting into my rooms, I rushed into the closet where I’d stashed the satchel. I couldn’t leave without my medication, especially without knowing exactly what it was yet to find more. I stuffed myself into boots, knowing my outfit was too elaborate for an escape, but I had no time to change. I slung on a thick navy cloak.
My steps out of the room stumbled when I heard the shouting. Then the pounding of footsteps that grew louder before wild faces came into view, and I gasped, whirling back as they called my name.
I slammed the doors shut, frantically searching for anything.
The dresser chair.
I dragged it, jamming it under the handles.
The brutes outside battered into it, and I leaped back, heart lodging in my throat.
To my mercy the balcony doors remained unlocked. The bitter air nipped at my cheeks, the snow already melted, and come nightfall I imagined the wet stone would be ice with the temperature.
Hastily I climbed onto the stone railing, recalling the few maneuvers I’d used the first time, but like the last, I panicked, clutching the same ledge.
“Jump,” Nyte said, his voice fluttering in my chest like a reprieve I had no right to with the mystery he remained.
A loud bang of splintering wood left me no choice to even check if he was real or not. I closed my eyes as I let go, cutting through the air for mere seconds before I met the ground, surprisingly on my feet. My hands clutched Nyte regardless.
He didn’t release me. My lids snapped opened as I was pulled lightly, but my protest was smothered by his hand. My mind scattered to the other one that had slipped under my cloak, brushing over my abdomen while my back was pressed to his front.
Nyte uncovered my mouth, and I was close to choking on my pulse at the voices on the balcony we stood under.
“What a thrilling evening,” he remarked.
“Why are you helping me?” I breathed, bewildered by his reappearance.
“We still have a deal to bind—I can’t have you dying now.”
So that was real. I tried to process what he’d said. “You didn’t bind it?”
I should have felt his chuckle, but I only heard the low amusement. “No. I need something else from you for that. But I wanted to be sure of your willingness before I helped you any further.”
I turned, but he kept me flush to him. His finger pressed to my lips while his gold eyes flicked up. I had the urge to bite, but as if sensing it, his hand dropped while his mouth curled.
“I could cross you.”
“I could make you regret that.”
What am I thinking?
“Are you a vampire?”
That made his smile falter. It smoothed to dark indifference. “You already know more about me than you should.”
“You’re the one who keeps showing up, yet you did not harm me when you could have done.”
“You seem to have a habit of finding yourself in difficult situations.”
“I didn’t ask for your help.”
We stared off, the growing intensity sparking my realization of how intimately close we were. I pushed off him.
“Is this what your kind does—stalk their prey?”
“Until you shed your sheep’s clothing, it would seem so.”
“If you’re not going to take my soul, this gains you nothing.”
“I am highly entertained. The most I have been in many years.”
“My life is not an amusement,” I hissed.
The pause between us made me contemplate my brazenness when he could end me any second. He stood tall and powerful, and I had to remember my dangerous magnet of attraction to him was a trap.
“No, not to anyone again.” His voice softened with his cooling eyes. “It is your own now, as it should have always been.”
“You don’t know anything.”
He studied the sky for a brief second with a long sigh.
My attention roved over him. “So you aren’t immune to the cold.” It wasn’t much of a gain to figuring him out, but I observed his winter cloak nonetheless.
The corner of Nyte’s mouth tugged. “I crave your warmth as much as you do mine.”
My cheeks flamed. “I don’t want anything from you.”
He gave a barely-there nod as if he approved. “I don’t need to take your soul, Starlight.” He took one step forward, and I couldn’t be sure what it was about him that didn’t trigger my instincts as it should. His fingers hummed across my temple, and I became entranced by the beauty of him searching me. Tucking the wild strand of silver hair behind my ear, his voice dropped to a gravelly whisper. “And no matter what happens, or what you feel, you should never give it to me.”
I took a breath. A blink. A hesitation. “We won’t have to worry about that,” I breathed.
“Astraea.”
The hiss of my name made me whirl away from his touch. Cassia waved at me frantically while keeping cover behind the trees in the distance with Calix. I knew from the loneliness that had begun to embrace me Nyte was gone. I didn’t even look to confirm it as I picked up a jog to them and broke through the tree line.
I couldn’t decide why my body yearned to remain a while longer in his presence, nor why my mind settled, sure it would not be the last time.