FULL NOVELXO Chapter 26
The next day, Trey was scheduled to get his arm reattached, and Ace was all healed up. Ace did not lose his legs he just cut them deep enough to make it an obstacle for my mother. I had just got done seeing Ace and I was hoping to see Trey too, but the people outside his door would not let me in. I complied and decided to see what my mother was up to last so I went to her office. She had a lot of papers on her desk that I went through but one stuck out the most. It was nothing official, it was personal... like she was venting. But it was not just at one time. It is like she wrote on the page later at different dates. Maybe she was trying to write a new memoir and these are her notes?
I tried so hard to keep the demon away, but every year it got worse and worse. After I killed my husband it got worse. I didn’t mean to kill him. I never wanted to. He wanted to take the kids… he was the enemy. He wanted to dethrone me. I-I had no choice. The demon... I killed him, but Nikki and Alex got away. I have to send my kids away before I get worse. If I could kill Jason, I know I could kill them too... If I killed everyone I held dear, there definitely will be no chance of keeping my demon under control.
It took me a year of planning, but I sent my kids away. I set it up with Ace to pay special attention to Alice. I am most afraid for her. If I lose to my demon, it is foretold that she will take me down. That puts her in more danger of me if I fall. I am happy with my decision, but I hope I can see my kids again and I can hold on.
I AM LOST! All I see is the DARKness. Where did my LIGHT go? Did I make a MISTAKE pushing them away? I was WRONG... I needed them to keep me SANE. Keep my DEMON in check. I am LOSING myself.
I no longer see darkness, I am the darkness. I did not need a demon to tell me I was dark all along. My demon is not separate, she is me. I am evil on the inside. I have wanted to kill my daughter ever since she was born. I wanted to kill her when I found out she had the Goldeneyes as well as her brother. I wanted to kill her even more, after Loveless told me she was going to be the death of me. Instead of killing her, I enabled her to be weak, made her frustrated by locking part of her powers with the Goldeneyes. I made her the weakling she is and I made it to where she will never stand a chance against me. I will never be knocked down from this throne! I AM THE QUEEN! SHE WILL DIE!!
It portrayed her descent and, well, what will prevent me from doing that myself. The only person I have to do that for me might be leaving me soon, and even if he does stay... I might kill him like my mother. Should I really be taking the throne? Do I really have a choice at this point? My coronation was set for tomorrow.
“There you are.” Nikki said pulling me out of thought as she walked into my mom’s old office. “I have been looking everywhere for you.”
“What’s up?” I replied.
“We need to get you fitted for your dress for tomorrow.”
“Oh.” I said while getting up from my desk.
I went with her for my fitting and then dinner. After dinner, I tried to visit Trey again, but they still were not allowing visitors, so I went to my room to rest.