FULL NOVELXO Secret Obsession: Chapter 40
TWO YEARS AGO
“Truth or dare,” Amanda prompts, directing her words at Willow.
Willow, who has giggled and leaned on her best friend for the better part of an hour, trying to get her to agree to sing a song with her on the table. Willow, who has drawn my eye all night in a stunning, shimmery black halter top and leather skirt.
It’s the end of my freshman year at CPU. The dance team won their competition, and we came so close to the Cup, we could taste it. And then we lost in the last game of the round. Six to fucking four.
There’s nothing quite like the guilt of knowing I should’ve been able to stop those two extra fucking shots and failed to do so.
I let my whole team down, although that’s not how they saw it. They see it in ways that blame themselves. They should’ve shot more and passed less. They should’ve seen the other team’s plays and stopped them or not folded to the high-velocity pressure they exerted on our defense.
“Truth,” Willow answers.
She drags me back into the present, and I swallow a mouthful of beer. It’s gone a bit warm—a sure sign that I’m not drinking fast enough.
“What’s your red flag?” Amanda asks her.
Willow frowns and glances at her best friend. Violet. They share some sort of communication, and then Willow seems to decide something.
“I’ve never been in love,” she declares. “And I’m not going to fall in love.”
“Why not?” someone else asks.
She lifts one shoulder and sips her drink. When she lowers her cup, her gaze flits around the circle and lands on me.
“My parents are great. But they’re not really the ‘I love you’ type. Or affectionate. They’re mathematicians.” She laughs.
“So your parents don’t tell you they love you?” Amanda asks, her brows furrowing. “I can’t get off the phone until I say it to my mom, or she’d kill me.”
“Well, no… I guess not.” Willow shifts in her seat. “That’s enough truth for one day, don’t you think? Steele, truth or dare?”
I keep watching her as she dares Steele to do something stupid. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes for once, and I have to wonder if it’s because of that question. Her red flag. And maybe it makes me an idiot for thinking that maybe there’s some other reason she’s never been in love, or that it’s just a barrier she needs to break in her mind. Or… maybe she has been in love, but she doesn’t know how to recognize it.
The game stretches on. I get up and refresh my beer, and when I turn around, Willow is right behind me.
She tucks her golden hair behind her ear. “Are you judging me?”
“Nah.” I take her cup and fill it, then hand it back. “Unless you’re into that sort of thing.”
She scoffs.
“Honesty is hard. Especially around a bunch of drunk dumbasses.”
“Yeah, well. That’s the game, isn’t it?” She nudges me. “Maybe you should just go ahead and tell me your red flag. It’ll make me feel better for exposing myself like that.”
I have to think about that one.
What’s my red flag?
My gaze drops to hers. I’m addicted to the weight of her stare on me, and I’m pretty sure it’ll never be enough. So I open my mouth and, without even thinking, I say, “We’re the opposite, you and me. You’ve never been in love. But I fell in love at first sight. And I’m pretty sure it’s the forever sort of thing.”
My chest tightens with the admission.
Her expression shutters. “Oh, you’re in love with someone? I…”
An arm lands on my shoulder, and I jerk my arm to the side a second before my asshole brother reaches for my beer. In my head, I curse his god-awful timing. Because there are so many things I want to say to change the look on her face right now, but I can’t fucking do it with an audience of one.
How do I tell her it’s her, without ruining everything?
For the girl who, by all accounts, seems afraid of love?
“Hey, Reed,” Knox croons at her. “You getting any better on the ice?”
Her cheeks flame, and her gaze shifts. Like she’s seeing him in a new light. “I haven’t been on the ice since we crashed your practice.” A new smile lifts her features. “Maybe you should give me some more lessons.”
“Absolutely,” Knox agrees. “Anything for a beautiful girl like you.”
He drops his arm from my shoulders and holds out his hand to her.
She doesn’t even glance at me—she just fucking goes.
And that’s when I realize I’ve lost her.
For the first time anyway. But not the last.