Refuge: Chapter 24
THIS WAS NOTHING like the tender first kiss we had shared. It was hard and urgent, and it sent a shock wave to the center of my being. I gasped and he deepened the kiss, sending heat unfurling in my stomach and melting the bones in my body until my legs couldn’t support me anymore. He tightened his hold, and my arms moved of their own volition to wrap around his neck.
As soon as I kissed him back, the tension drained out of him and his mouth became soft and searching. I responded in kind, my heart swelling with love. My body felt like it had been starved for oxygen, and being with him was like taking a deep breath of air. I felt my Mori sigh contentedly and whisper solmi, and I trembled when it reached out and embraced Nikolas’s Mori for the first time. An answering shiver ran through Nikolas. It was wondrous and frightening to know how deeply connected we were in that moment.
“Damn. Get a room, you two!” Jordan exclaimed, breaking the spell holding us. My whole body grew warm in embarrassment, and I pulled abruptly away from Nikolas. The bewildered look he gave me as he let go told me I wasn’t the only one deeply affected by the kiss.
Jordan let out a whistle. “Wow, I think you guys melted the snow.”
“Shut up,” I muttered, scowling at her. I darted a glance at Roland and Peter, but it was impossible to read their expressions when they were in wolf form. I refused to look at Chris, whom I suspected was enjoying the whole thing despite his weakened condition.
“You missed all the fun,” Chris quipped hoarsely to Nikolas. He teetered, and I moved to support him again, but Nikolas nudged me aside and took my place.
Jordan poked me in the side as I walked past her. I stopped, and she leaned in close to my ear. “Two swords. Smoking hot.”
Blushing furiously, I went to help the boy witch up from where he had fallen when Jordan let him go to fight the vampires. He was still shaky, and his eyes darted around him in fear.
Nikolas’s face hardened when he noticed the Hale witch for the first time. “I can guess what happened,” he said harshly.
“No, you can’t, my friend. You really can’t,” Chris wheezed. “Now, can you please get me somewhere I can lie down before I pass out?”
“It looks like you all could use a trip to the healers,” Nikolas replied. His eye narrowed when he spotted my torn and bloody sleeve.
“It’s just a scratch. I can hardly feel it,” I lied. Now that my adrenaline levels were coming down, my arm was starting to hurt like crazy. “We have to go find the people who were out on patrol. They ran into this guy,” I pointed to the witch, “and we need to get to them as soon as possible.”
“We will find them,” said Tristan in a voice I barely recognized. I turned to see him, Celine, and Desmund behind me looking like they were in a lot better shape than me and my friends. Tristan’s mouth was a hard line, and I could feel his tightly controlled anger. “I am relieved to see you are all safe. Go to the healers and I’ll talk to you when I get back. Maybe we can piece together exactly what happened here tonight.”
I chewed my lip, hating what I had to say next. “It was Michael. He helped the vampires.”
“Michael?” Tristan could not have looked more shocked, and he wasn’t the only one. I understood how they felt. It was hard to imagine the sweet, quiet boy hurting anyone, let alone betraying us to our enemy.
Jordan made a sound of disgust. “Little bastard led us right to them. If he’s not dead, I call dibs on finishing the job.”
Tristan shook his head in disbelief. “Why would Michael do that?”
“It’s not his fault,” I said, and everyone stared at me like I had lost my mind. “The vampires got to him somehow and convinced him they had his twin brother, Matthew. They promised to let him go if Michael helped them.”
“Still no excuse to betray everyone you know,” Jordan replied irately.
“He’s messed up, Jordan.” I understood her anger. Michael’s betrayal cut me deeply as well, but he was obviously delusional and in a lot of pain. The saddest thing was that no one had seen it and helped him before it was too late.
“Where is he now?” Celine asked, and I was surprised she sounded almost civil toward me.
I told them where we had entered the woods and gave them a brief overview of how we had ended up in there. “One of the vampires hit him pretty hard, and I’m not sure if he’s alive. We had to leave him.”
“We’ll find him if he’s still out there,” Tristan said grimly. “You go to the healers. Nikolas, we could use your help if we have men down out there.”
Nikolas nodded, and Jordan took his place supporting Chris. His eyes met mine for a moment, and I knew he was making sure I was okay before he left. It wasn’t until I smiled and nodded that he turned away and the four of them headed toward the woods.
Left alone, our group limped toward the main building. We passed dozens of vampire corpses, revealing the sheer size of the force that had attacked us. Most of the vampires had been new, or the outcome would have been a lot different. At least we knew now why so many people had disappeared in the last month. The Master built a disposable army to send against us. What they lacked in speed and strength, he’d hoped they would make up for in numbers and the element of surprise. It had almost worked.
Tears pricked my eyes, and I looked away from the bodies. My life used to be about healing and helping others. Now it was all about killing and destruction. My chest ached and I longed for the days of watching movies at Roland’s house and hanging out at the cliffs with Remy. Back then my greatest worry was keeping my secret from Nate and my friends. Now I was afraid of losing one of them.
The main hall was pristine and untouched. Thankfully, none of the vampires had been able to breach the building. Even so, I would not be able to rest until I saw that Nate was okay.
“Sara!” Nate raced down the stairs, and the sight of him safe and unharmed made the last two hours seem like some unreal nightmare. He was shaking when he pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. “I saw you out there with those things, and I thought . . . ”
“It’ll take more than a few vampires and their pets to take us down,” I said with as much lightness as I could muster. He could never know how close he had come to watching us all die. I’d dragged him into this new world, and I had to shelter him from as much of it as I could.
Two younger warriors appeared behind Nate eying the witch. “He stays with me,” I told them. They started to protest, but I stood firm. “We need him to help the people he hurt. Don’t worry, he won’t hurt anyone else.” I gave the boy a pointed look. “Will you?”
The witch shook his head and stared at the floor. I’d be afraid to meet the eyes of the people whose home I had attacked, too. He looked so young and vulnerable despite the tattoos, and it pulled at my heart for a few seconds. Then I remembered Olivia and Mark and I hardened again. Sometimes, the lines blurred between good and evil, and this was definitely one of those times. I wanted to hate him for what he’d done, but he was just a boy scared for his own family. I sighed inwardly. It was another reason why I would never be a good warrior.
Roland and Peter disappeared upstairs to change back and dress, and the rest of us went to the medical ward. The healers were busy tending to several injured people when we got there. No one was happy to see the witch, but I assured them he was no longer a threat. We deposited Chris in one of the rooms, and then Jordan and I went to get treated for our own injuries. The boy stayed with me, and he was very subdued, trailing behind me quietly.
A healer gave me some pants and a long-sleeved top to change into, and I went behind a screen to pull off my wet clothes. I longed for a shower, but I settled for warm, dry clothes and washing my face in the sink. I wasn’t going anywhere until I knew the fate of the warriors out in the woods.
Nate stayed with me while the healer treated and wrapped my arm and gave me some of the dreaded gunna paste. He and the healer wanted me to rest, but there was no way I could lay still with so many people hurt and missing. I promised to take it easy and went in search of Chris. I found him resting in a bed with his color almost restored. His face lit with a smile when I remarked on how much better he looked.
“Gunna paste never fails.”
I made a face at the taste still lingering in my mouth. “We’re lucky they have lots of it on hand.”
His gaze flicked to the witch, and he grew sober. “You saved my life out there.”
“Now we’re almost even,” I returned lightly. “Besides, what is family for?”
Jordan came in with Roland and Peter, and I could not help but smile when I heard the three of them sharing battle stories like old friends. Maybe they had more in common than just me. The boys told us how they had chased the blond female for a good three miles before they took her down. They came back looking for us and followed our scents to the river.
Jordan and I took up the story and told them about our swim in the river and everything that had happened after. She grew very quiet when I talked about Olivia and Mark. She didn’t let her guard down much, but I could tell she was hurting a lot.
It was over an hour later when Nikolas and the others returned carrying Seamus, Niall, and Ben, who were taken to a ward where the healers could tend to them all at once. I grabbed the boy witch by the arm and pushed past everyone crowding outside the door. Desmund stood just inside the doorway and the pain on his face told me how bad it was before I looked at the men. If anyone knew what they were suffering it was him.
I had to hold back a cry when I saw the twins’ pale faces and blank staring eyes. Beside them, Ben moaned and pulled at his hair until two healers restrained him. I shoved the boy forward. “Fix them,” I ordered in a choked voice.
The healers working on Ben backed up when we approached the bed. Everyone else gave us a wide berth as we stood by the bed and the boy laid a hand on Ben’s forehead. The effect was almost immediate. Ben’s hands fell to his sides, and in less than thirty seconds, his moaning stopped and color began to return to his face.
The boy lifted his hand from Ben’s face. “He will sleep now, and when he wakes he will be well.”
I released the breath I was holding, and we moved on to Seamus and Niall where the boy repeated whatever he had done to Ben. Soon all three were sleeping peacefully. After my work to heal Desmund, it was hard to believe how easily the boy reversed the damage he had done.
Two guards stepped forward to take the boy who looked at me fearfully. I gave him a reassuring nod, and he let them lead him away. Tomorrow, I’d talk to Tristan about helping the young witch’s family. No matter what he was, he was still just a scared kid and a victim in all of this, too.
After the boy left, a healer told me they’d found Michael. He was suffering from head trauma and internal injuries, but they believed he’d make it. Part of me wondered if it would not be more of a kindness for him to die. He would never be the warrior he dreamed of being; he’d be lucky not to end up in a cell for the rest of his life. He would have to live with the stigma of being a traitor and the knowledge that he had betrayed his people for a brother who had died a long time ago.
Tristan assigned a guard to watch over Michael, even though the healers had heavily sedated him. I watched Tristan look down at the unconscious boy and shake his head sorrowfully. His troubled expression told me he was wondering how they had gone wrong with Michael.
It looked like all the injured had been treated when Terrence and Josh arrived carrying a gravely injured Sahir. I hovered outside the room while the healers went to work on him. Josh told me they had found him in the menagerie and it looked like he had been attacked as he was setting the creatures free. “We found two vamps fried to a crisp beside him. Looks like the wyvern took care of them.”
Another agonizing hour passed before the healers announced Sahir was going to make it. I sagged against the wall from relief and exhaustion, and I was still there when Nikolas came looking for me a few minutes later.
“You should be in bed.”
“I’m fine,” I argued weakly.
“You’re practically asleep on your feet,” he said firmly. “There is nothing else you can do here tonight. If you don’t rest, you’ll end up in here yourself.”
“Okay,” I relented and pushed away from the wall somewhat unsteadily. He moved in to pick me up, and I put up a hand to stop him. “I can walk.” I scowled at his dubious expression. “I’m tired, Nikolas, not weak.”
He laughed softly. “Sara, no one who knew you would ever accuse you of being weak. Come on, I’ll walk you to your room.”
It was barely ten o’clock, yet the building was quiet as we made our way to my room. “They’re outside, cleaning up,” Nikolas explained when I commented on the empty halls. I shuddered at the grisly job the warriors had ahead of them, disposing of all those bodies and collecting our dead. In addition to Olivia and Mark, we had lost three warriors tonight, and their friends were out there right now clearing the battlefield instead of mourning their loss. God, I just wanted this horrible night to be over.
“You’re sure you would not feel better staying with Nate tonight?” Nikolas asked as we climbed the stairs to my floor.
I want to stay with you. I wished I could say the words, but I didn’t want to sound needy or for him to take it the wrong way. Besides, he was probably going to be busy tonight and he didn’t need to be distracted by me.
I shook my head. “I’m sure.”
At my door, I turned to face him. I swallowed and raised my eyes to meet his, hoping he wouldn’t see how close I was to coming apart.
“You were amazing tonight.”
“Really?” I searched his face for some sign he was patronizing me, but I saw only pride.
“The whole time I was out there, all I could think about was getting to you. And then I find you standing in the middle of it all, surrounded by bodies. I heard what you did. Don’t ever tell me again that you’re not a warrior.”
“I did have a lot of help,” I said, flushed with pleasure at his praise. It was the first time he had acknowledged my ability to take care of myself, and I was going to remember this moment for a long time. “I was worried about you, too.”
His expression was impossible to read and my breath caught when he took a step toward me. He opened his mouth as to say something but changed his mind. Tenderly, he brushed my hair back from my face, his fingers grazing my cheek. “Try to get some sleep.”
“I will,” I breathed. I entered my room and closed the door behind me, then leaned against it, wondering if he was still out there. After a few minutes, I realized I would have sensed him if he was that close. Shaking my head at my own foolishness, I went to shower off all the battle grime clinging to me.
I was trembling from fatigue when I emerged from the bathroom and fell onto the bed without bothering to turn off the lamp. But though my body was spent, my mind refused to shut down, and it kept replaying every horrific detail of the night when I closed my eyes. After thirty minutes of torture, I grabbed the quilt off the bed and curled up on the couch, flicking through TV channels for anything to distract me. I settled on an English comedy even though I was too tired to try to make out what they were saying.
But even the show’s raucous laughter could not keep the dark thoughts away for long, and I found myself thinking about Michael, who had looked so young and innocent in the medical ward. How was it that no one had seen how delusional and desperate he was until it was too late? We had some of the best technology and medicine in the world, yet we had failed to help one troubled boy. In the short time I’d known Michael I had seen how obsessed he was with finding his brother. It was the same obsession I’d seen in myself when I’d searched for my dad’s killer. I wished I had said something to Tristan about him. Even though Michael had betrayed me in the worst way, all I wanted to do was cry for the wasted life of the boy I had believed was my friend.
My chest constricted painfully when I let myself think about Olivia and Mark. Olivia had been so animated compared to Mark’s quieter personality, but they had been happy together. The two of them were orphans, but unlike me, they had no other family but each other. And now they were gone. They were dead because of me. I should not be here safe with the people I loved while Olivia and Mark lay on cold slabs in the morgue.
I buried my face in the quilt to smother my sobs. I didn’t hear the door open or realize I was no longer alone until the couch dipped beside me. I went blindly into Nikolas’s arms and pressed my face against his soft sweater.
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t bear all these people getting hurt because of me.”
“None of this was your fault,” he said against my hair. “No one expected the vampires to try something like this. If you have to blame anyone, blame me. I promised you and Nate that you would be safe here.”
“I can’t blame you.” Since the day we met, Nikolas had done everything in his power to protect me. He might choose to ignore the truth, but my conscience would not let me forget so easily. And the truth was this started the night I decided to meet a stranger at the Attic to get answers about my dad. Before that night, Eli and his Master had no idea where or what I really was. Since then, Roland, Peter, and Nate had all been hurt in attempts to get to me. How long would it be before one of them met a worse fate?
“You all could have died tonight,” I said, hiccupping loudly. “I couldn’t bear it if . . . ”
Nikolas wrapped his arms tighter around me. “Nothing will happen to us. Now that we know the lengths this vampire will go to, we will step up security and put every resource we have into finding him. I will never let them take you. That is one promise I will take to my grave.”
“Don’t say that.” I shuddered at the thought of him dying, and the cold realization hit me that he would willingly give up his life to protect me. I would not let him die for me.
The more time that passed, the bolder this Master became. He was never going to stop, and eventually someone I loved would pay the ultimate price. I could not sit back and let that happen. It was time to make some hard decisions and to stop hiding like a frightened rabbit, waiting for the predator to strike.
Nikolas rubbed my back through the quilt. For the first time since I entered the woods with Michael, I felt sheltered and warm. Westhorne was supposed to be my refuge, but tonight had shattered that illusion and opened my eyes to the truth. The only time I felt truly safe was with Nikolas.
He had never wavered or weakened once in the months I’d known him, no matter what danger he faced or how much I’d tried to push him away. When I needed a trainer and a friend he was there. When I thought I’d lost Nate, he was my strength. He sent for Roland and Peter because he knew how much I needed them. He had been patient and put his own feelings aside when I was confused and afraid. He was a warrior in the very best sense of the word.
His hand stilled. “Feel better?” I nodded, and he loosened his embrace.
“Would you . . . stay just a little longer?” I asked when he began to pull away. Tomorrow, I would be strong. Tonight, all I wanted was to feel his arms around me.
“I’ll be here as long as you need me.” He tugged on the quilt that had fallen off my shoulders, pulling it over both of us. Then he moved us until he reclined against the cushioned armrest with me lying against him. Cocooned in his arms with his heart beating beneath my hand, I felt a sense of wholeness and belonging unlike anything I had ever known. It was incredible and wonderful and a little frightening to care so deeply for another person, especially with a monster out there determined to take everyone I loved from me.
I love you. The words hovered on my lips, but something held me back from saying them out loud. I didn’t know if it was fear of laying my heart out there or a need to savor these new feelings a little longer before I shared them.
His hand came up to stroke my hair. “Go to sleep, moy malen’kiy voin. You’ve earned it.”
“You’re always saying stuff in Russian,” I murmured. “What did you just say?”
He chuckled. “It means ‘my little warrior.’”
“I’m not that little,” I retorted then yawned, unable to keep my eyes open. “You’re my warrior, too.” I felt his arms tighten around me as sleep finally claimed me.