Practice Makes Perfect: A Novel

Monday

Will: The town still holding up while I’ve been away?

Annie: Who is this?

Will: It’s Will. We literally exchanged phone numbers just last night.

Annie: Sorry. I think you have the wrong number.

Will: Seriously?

Annie: No. I was just messing with you.

Will: Ha ha, funny girl.

Annie: Everything is holding up. But the scenery is oddly a lot less hot.

Will: Annie Walker. Are you…flirting with me?

Annie: Maybe. Or maybe this is a forty-year-old man’s number and I’m catfishing you.

Will: If you are a dude, are you at least sexy?

Annie: How do you feel about loafers with little tassels on the front?

Will: *Bites fist*

Tuesday

Will: Have you seen the petition yet?

Annie: OMG, you’ve seen it already?! I’ve been all worked up worrying about how to tell you. I was afraid you’d be upset.

Will: Why would I be upset?

Annie: Because the town thinks we’re a couple and is voting against it.

Will: Again. Why would I be upset? I’m clearly getting the better end of the stick in this scenario. You’re the one dating a debauched bodyguard.

Annie: Debauched!! What a good word.

Will: Learned it from your pirate romance book. I like it.

Annie: It suits you. But don’t worry, I’ll set the whole town straight with the truth one by one.

Will: Or…

Annie: Or???

Will: We could not say anything. And just let them believe what they want to believe. You said you wanted everyone to stop seeing you as Sweet Angel Annie…this might be just the thing to do it.

Annie: You’d do that for me?

Will: I’m quickly learning I’d do anything for you.

Wednesday

Annie: Hi.

Will: Hi. Whacha doing?

Annie: *Picture of boutonniere options*

Annie: Which one do you like better for the groomsmen?

Will: The one on the left.

Will: While I’ve got you…

Will: *Picture of palm tree and blue sky overhead*

Will: At the risk of sounding a little too poetic and sappy, the color of California’s sky is the same blue as your eyes.

Annie: Oof. That was sappy.

Will: Dammit. I thought so.

Annie: I’ll let it slide this one time.

Will: Changing subject now. Have you ever been to L.A.?

Annie: Nope. I haven’t traveled much.

Will: That’s a damn shame. You need to come to California, Annie. So many cool flower shops. You’d love it here.

Annie: I want to, but I’m scared of flying. And going to new places. And meeting new people.

Will: My offer stands to hold your hand.

Annie: I do like your hands.

Annie: Oh wow. Pretend I didn’t say that. I’m super embarrassed now. GAH! Why is there no unsend button.

Will: I like your hands, too, Anna-banana.

Thursday

Annie: I had the funniest dream about you last night.

Will: Funny? Hmm. I’d prefer sexy.

Annie: Well, you don’t get to choose. And this one was funny because you and I were in high school together, and I kept failing the same test over and over so you wrote the answers out for me on a piece of paper and gave them to me.

Will: Sounds like something I’d do. Did we get caught?

Annie: Yes. And then we had to spend detention in Harriet’s Bible study.

Will: Yikes.

Annie: Did you ever cheat in high school?

Will: No.

Will: It was sort of hard to cheat in a wolf pack. Our tests consisted of preying on other animals and the best way to lick your coat clean.

Annie: Are you never going to tell me anything about your childhood or teen years?

Will: I was shorter back then…

Annie: You’re impossible.

Will: Thank you 🙂