Possessing Nothing

I don’t understand.

Ghost Blade took a few steps back. The spear that penetrated his chest stuck out through his back. He looked down at his chest, both eyes wavering. The spear was soaked red with blood from the wound.

His gaze moved a little further down.

The sword in his hand dropped to the ground powerlessly with a clang. His red aura scattered away in the dark. Ghost Blade opened his mouth to say something, but what came out was only red, sticky blood, not a voice. He vomited blood many times and then looked at Lee Sungmin with trembling eyes.

“How?”

He asked. It was a short question. It was also the question that Lee Sungmin had asked himself.

‘How?’

How did he do it? He didn’t know himself. Thousands of questions and answers flooded his mind during this momentary distraction.

He thought he was weak. So he did it. But why did he do it? He didn’t want to remain weak. He didn’t want to be ashamed.

He didn’t want to give up. He didn’t want to hesitate. He wanted to be different from his previous life. So, this is how it turned out. This is Lee Sungmin now. He had had a different experience from his previous life, thought differently, and now became a different kind of character.

He wondered whether it was serious. Maybe his subconscious pushed him to attack. There was no way of knowing. He hadn’t had much experience like this. When he had fought against Aine, it felt a little more… certain. There was such a feeling.

But not now. Like a cow backing up and trampling a rat. It was his subconscious that slashed out and pierced his enemy with the spear.

It was just a few seconds ago. Ghost Blade was faster than Lee Sungmin’s spear. He was closer than the spear. Nevertheless, Lee Sungmin wasn’t able to take advantage of it and Ghost Blade would have had the upper hand. In the end, he wouldn’t have been able to avoid Ghost Blade’s sword and would be struck by it.

But the result turned out like this instead. Lee Sungmin’s spear pierced past the sword and was driven into Ghost Blade’s chest. He didn’t understand why.

‘What did you do?’

“Ko-heup!”

Ghost Blade vomited blood. He gripped his sword again and swung it towards Lee Sungmin. It was slow and too late to hit Lee Sungmin but sharp enough to cut through the spear piercing through his chest. He took a few steps back and grasped the spear that impaled him, bleeding through tightly shut lips.

“You are… how… what… ?”

Ghost Blade stuttered and asked. Neither of them understood the current situation. Ghost Blade was using his Self Protection Force. Even if Lee Sungmin’s attack was faster than his sword, it should have been blocked by that Self Protection Force.

It should have. That’s right. Of course, it should have been like that.

But it was pierced through.

Why?

“Kekeuke… !”

But one thing was clear. Ghost Blade was fatally wounded. No matter how much a vampire’s immortality is said to increase during a full moon night, Ghost Blade was unable to pay the price. He was powerful because he was a veteran warrior before he was a vampire.

That wasn’t all. Ghost Blade had never been a vampire before. What he wanted was an unaging body, and by becoming a vampire, he got it. The body was in its prime. Although he wanted a young body, craving human blood was a drawback that Ghost Blade, who had lived as a human, could not ignore.

However, as he came here, Ghost Blade slowly shed his humanity. He wanted to live. He wanted to go further and further. When he crossed the volcanic entrance and killed Master Sungha, he shed the last remnants of his humanity that remained. He reached this point by sucking the blood from the dead bodies of those who blocked his path.

Although he drank quite a lot of blood, it was not enough to raise his level. He had severe chest injuries. They were fatal injuries that would cause immediate death for a normal human. Nevertheless, it was because a full moon rose tonight.

But not for long.

It wouldn’t be for long.

It was not a simple flesh wound. Lee Sungmin’s spear was filled with strength. The strong force pierced through Ghost Blade’s body, destroying his inner strength. The deadly wound, which would leave him on the brink of death, was only sustained by the life force of the vampire.

The spear came out. The wound did not regenerate. The spear was pulled out by force, but the wound continued to gush out blood like a fountain. Ghost Blade tried to press down with a trembling hand on the wound to stop the flowing blood, but…

“Hu… Hahaha … Hahaha… !”

Eventually, he laughed crazedly. Ghost Blade threw up blood and then raised his hand to close his mouth. He continued swallowing down the blood coming up to his throat. He moved his still hand again. His trembling hand eventually succeeded in stopping the blood.

“Stumbling on a rock of this size, at this point… I feel like I am going to collapse.”

Ghost Blade murmured with a pale face. The redness faded away as his eyes lost their sheen.

“That’s right… That’s how I feel right now. I was running forward… more… I could go further. But I fell. I ended up stumbling over a jagged rock that I didn’t care about…”

Ghost Blade grinned through his blood-soaked lips. He staggered as he walked and put down his sword.

“However… Hu… Hehehe… Your understanding… It was nothing. You can never pull out all the potential at your level… It was like that. Your spear is… Alas. Your spear that pierced my body just now. It was faster than Master Sungha’s sword, stronger than his sword, and quieter than his sword… Alas…”

The redness disappeared entirely from his eyes. The eyes that were once again black were human eyes, not vampire eyes. At the same time, a white aura flowed out of Ghost Blade’s body.

“More… Show me more.”

He spat out in a boiling voice.

“The greatness that I never seemed to reach. Show me again.”

Ghost Blade circulated the remnants of his inner strength once more. He gave up on escaping alive from there. It was impossible to recover from that wound anyway. It would be difficult to save his life unless he drank the blood of a few dozen people, and it was impossible to kill so many in his present condition.

So he held his sword and charged forward. His whole body felt heavy. After becoming a vampire, he threw away his humanity. The weight of old age that he could not feel before weighed down on him more than ever, crushing his body.

No. This was not the weight of old age. It was the weight of death. At the same time, he wanted to see the fulfillment of the dream that he couldn’t reach.

(T/N: word for dream here is 理想)

“You. Show it to me.”

Nevertheless, Ghost Blade did not look resigned to his fate. Rather, he looked to Lee Sungmin with eyes bright with hope.

‘I don’t know.’

[There is no need to fight. Ghost Blade is burning the last of his inner strength to destroy everyone along with himself. If you leave him alone, he will kill himself.]

‘I don’t know.’

[Haha, by the way… That’s awesome. Lee Sungmin is going to win against Ghost Blade! I would never have expected it. Did you make any great progress in martial arts through this fight?]

‘I don’t know.’

Ghost Blade was approaching. Lee Sungmin looked down at his spear, which had been cut in half. Chuckling, he dropped the broken spear and pulled out a new spear – grasping it firmly.

He didn’t know. He really didn’t know. He didn’t know anything. He had no idea how ‘he’ just did it. How did he pierce him? Lee Sungmin himself didn’t really understand what Ghost Blade was asking of him.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t retreat. He did not want to run away because he didn’t want to be ashamed. Ghost Blade glanced at Lee Sungmin. His eyes were filled with the questions he wanted to ask Lee Sungmin.

He wasn’t confident that he could answer those questions. He didn’t know what to answer. However, Lee Sung-min did not avoid Ghost Blade.

‘Ah.’

In the end, Ghost Blade wasn’t just a messy and dangerous person who used heretical methods. He wasn’t just a fugitive who gave up when facing his limits. Using whatever means he could use, he was trying to overcome himself.

‘He is different to me.’

‘You said you envy me. That I’m talented well beyond my years. It’s a lie. My youth and talent are false. I’m a twisted runaway, a hypocrite who was only pretending to have overcome his inferiority complex. A weak, little man who only embraced selfishness and sought a sense of self-satisfaction full of contradictions.’

The spear and sword collided. Ghost Blade’s sword, which was full of inner strength, radiated energy that seemed more dazzling than before. But it was slow. His slowly dying body couldn’t reach the form of swordsmanship that Ghost Blade wanted.

Towards such swordsmanship, Lee Sungmin performed the Nine Heavenly Spear technique to the best of his ability. He did his best. To kill Ghost Blade, to satisfy him.

It was an unsatisfactory victory. 

‘I feel like I stumbled over a jagged rock.’ 

Ghost Blade had said that. Lee Sungmin also sympathized with him. His existence among the experts Dok Bejun had met, was only comparable to a small rock. It was only by chance that Lee Sungmin’s spear was able to pierce through him.

He knew. He knew, and he hated it. But he couldn’t run away. Even if he wasn’t proud of this victory, he could not deny it.

Ghost Blade died here today.

Ghost Blade, who was supposed to die at the hands of Wijihoyeon, died here.

Master Sungha, who should not have died, was killed by Ghost Blade.

Without Lee Sungmin’s existence, this would not have happened. Holding a heart full of contradictory self-satisfaction, he felt the responsibility.

He was also responsible for Ghost Blade’s death.

He didn’t know what Ghost Blade wanted to see from him. He wasn’t sure his steps would reach the end of what he had been looking for. Nevertheless, he had to. He saw Ghost Blade’s eyes. Those eyes, full of hope on the doorstep of death. The eyes that were obsessed with wanting to run away while giving up being human.

He killed a person with such eyes.

“Ha.”

Ghost Blade collapsed. Lee Sungmin’s spear was embedded in his abdomen. Ghost Blade looked down at the spear stuck in his stomach blankly. Lee Sungmin looked at his eyes, breathing hard. A few tens of seconds of tussling eventually led to Lee Sungmin’s victory. Ghost blade, who had burnt the last of his inner strength, was dying quickly. But it wasn’t an easy victory.

“You… ”

The sword blade staggered and knelt.

“At the final moment… You still deny me the pleasure… ”

Lee Sungmin’s hand was stiff.

“Your spear… Ah… The spear that killed me… More than this… It should have been greater. Faster… More than Master Sungha… ”

Muttering such words.

“Why am I even here…”

It was a curse. It was a lament. Lee Sungmin set his spear on the ground. After a few steps, Lee Sungmin looked at Ghost Blade with a complex expression.

He knew it would be like this. The attack that pierced through Ghost Blade was impossible for Lee Sungmin to achieve in his current condition. The sudden enlightenment obtained at the moment moved his body unconsciously and led to him striking with power beyond his capabilities. In order for Lee Sungmin to reach that level, he would have to refine himself by using the enlightenment he had obtained at that moment, over and over again.

“… I’m sorry.”

Lee Sungmin apologized in a small voice. In the end, he couldn’t satisfy Ghost Blade’s last wish. He would rather have not fought him. If he had let him destroy himself… He could at least have avoided such curses and laments.

“I… wasn’t as great as you thought.”

He had hoped to. He tried to live up to that expectation. His best… He had already done it. It was just not enough.

He was too weak.

“I… more… ”

Ghost Blade let out a few sounds on his dying breath. Those were his last words. What he left behind were grief and a curse. He was not satisfied. Until the moment of death, Lee Sungmin was still more like an unexpected rock that he tripped over while walking. Lee Sungmin sat down on the spot as if his legs were released from tension.

“I… ”

His body trembled. His weakness. His deficiency. What if it was someone else? What if it was Wijihoyeon, or Jihak, or even Namgoong Heewon! Could they have satisfied the Ghost Blade? Could they have prevented him from leaving behind curses and laments in his dying breath?

“Priest.”

(T/N: he says 사제…like saying ‘oh god’?)

He felt like crying. But he endured. He was angry at his weakness, but he didn’t want to cry. If he cried at this moment, he would feel like something important in his heart would be smashed to bits.contemporary romance

“You’ve grown a lot.”

A voice came from nearby.

She smelled like flowers.

done.co