No Tomorrow: An Angsty Love Story

I’m hardly ever late for anything. In fact, I’m usually a few minutes early for appointments and meetings. When my sisters and I were young, my mother was constantly rushing us around. She instilled in us that not being on time was bad manners. She definitely did not believe in being fashionably late.

But I never considered being late terrifying.

Until today.

“You’re pregnant.”

The room spins so fast I grip the edges of the exam table to keep myself from tumbling off onto the floor.

“Piper?” Dr. Green touches my shoulder and motions for the nurse to get me a cup of water.

My head reels, my vision blurs, and the doctor’s voice echoes around me. “That can’t be….” I shake my head slowly. “It must be a mistake. I’m on the pill. You gave it to me.”

“It’s not one hundred percent guaranteed, unfortunately. Have you been taking it every day?”

“Yes,” I reply, but that’s not exactly true. There were those nights when Blue asked me to stay in the shed with him, and we snuggled, and talked, and made love all night. When I finally went home the next day, I either forgot to take the pill or skipped it because I didn’t know what else to do.

I take the cup from the nurse and gulp the cold water, flooding my throat and stomach, hoping to wash this all away. There must be a way to undo this and make it not so.

I’m smart. I’m responsible. I’m not the kind of girl who gets pregnant. That happens to other girls who aren’t careful.

That’s you now, Piper. A cow who got used and thrown away with a dog and a baby.

I stare into my empty paper cup. “Actually… I think there may have been a few times I forgot to take it.”

“It has to be taken every day to be effective.” Dr. Green flips through her notes in my folder and then glances back to me. “I’m going to assume you weren’t using condoms at the time?”

I shake my head, humiliation thrumming through my veins like acid.

“H-how far along am I?” I ask.

“Looks like just about ten weeks. We’ll schedule an ultrasound in two weeks and you can see your baby. You’re welcome to bring the father.”

“We’re not together anymore.” I tremble uncontrollably and burst into choking tears. The nurse hands me a box of tissues and I balance it on my lap. “He left….”

“Piper, I’m very sorry to hear that.”

Ten weeks. It’s been eight weeks since Blue left. During that time, I’ve prowled every park and train station in a hundred-mile radius trying to find him, to no avail. He could be anywhere by now.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do….” I sob, blotting my eyes with the scratchy tissue. “I don’t even know where he is.”

Dr. Green hands me a business card and several pamphlets with photos of pregnant teens and babies on them. “We have a counselor on staff. I think it would be good for you to talk with her about your decisions and choices.”

The words ricochet between my ears. Decisions and choices.

Somehow, just like that, my quiet, boring, little life is gone forever.